Chapter 9: Wishful Thinking

Disclaimer: S. Meyer gets the credit for these wonderful characters. I'm just having my way with them.


The boisterous play continued for quite awhile. Sam was actually the one to get everyone back in line and shoved them out the door. They were all still laughing and jostling one another as they vacated the house.

As the room grew quiet, my thoughts started to race inside my head. My heart was lifted, no longer weighed down by an unbearable burden. Victoria was destroyed. She was gone—really gone. It was almost unfathomable. For months, her presence had been hanging over me like a guillotine ready to sever my head from my body at any given moment. I was also no longer torturing myself over constantly hurting my best friend, my Jacob. And he was no longer physically or emotionally suffering because of my choices. My main concern now was to help Jacob regain his health and strength ... and then in the back of my mind ... my second concern, the threat of the Volturi.

Would they be able to detect my whereabouts if I was hiding in a wolf's den? Maybe they would give up and assume I had moved away. Not likely—Aro would hunt me down until the day I died (hopefully not of unnatural causes).

I put all thoughts of the Vampire hierarchy out of my consciousness. For the present, I would concentrate on being happy and making Jacob happy too.

"A voice jolted me out of my reverie, "Would you like a penny?"

I must've seemed miles away to him. "I'm sorry, what?"

It was Jacob's voice, "For your thoughts."

"Oh, right."

He narrowed his eyes as he gazed at me. "What were you thinking about so hard? I thought you were gonna bust a blood vessel or somethin'."

I chose my words carefully. "I was thinking about how lucky I am to still have you with me ... in one piece. And how grateful I am that Victoria is out of the picture. Thank you, Jacob. I owe you so much for putting your life on the line for me even though I don't deserve it. I can never repay you," I choked.

His grave eyes bored into mine with a thread of intensity that held me helplessly spellbound. "I know of a way ..." he said. "Just love me Bella; love me with all of your heart, all of your mind, and with your whole soul. And I'll say that the debt is paid in full with interest."

My voice cracked, "Why did you have to say that, Jake? You're going to make me cry again."

"Don't cry, Bells, just come over here and hold me."

I edged over to the bed and without hesitation this time, crawled in next to him. I leaned into his good side nestling my cheek against his, my one arm around his neck, the other at his splinted shoulder. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"No, I feel fine—better than fine actually. Jeez, this is gonna sound kinda corny, but maybe I'm so high on your love right now, that I don't even need this painkiller any more."

As I lay there cuddled up against my best friend, and the love of my newly found life, I couldn't help wishing that the rest of this planet would just leave us alone—disappear even. We could exist in our own little bubble, oblivious to the outside world, safe from its interference. Living and breathing only for each other. That would be my idea of heaven ... bound together in mutual affection for all eternity.

Unfortunately, this was not heaven, and the mundane would eventually drag us down.


The minutes ticked away, robbing us of every precious moment of our time together. Before I knew it, the stroke of twelve was upon us. Did we really have to eat ... again?

I couldn't care less about eating. It was a nuisance having to always stop what I was doing to refuel my body. But ... I loved to cook. Wasn't that a contradiction? I guess it was seeing other people enjoying my efforts, or just the process of combining flavors and textures. I didn't even mind cleaning up the kitchen and washing up the dishes and the pots and pans. I was in no mood to create a gourmet meal at this moment, however.

I got up reluctantly and trudged to the fridge. There was some leftover sauerkraut from two days ago, and I found a can of corned beef. Reuben sandwiches were fast and easy.

I grilled them up quickly, paired them up with fresh fruit—and another smoothie for Jacob—and called to Billy. He was already following his nose to the food.

I sat in the chair next to Jacob's bed and watched him eat. He looked as depressed as I felt. We should be celebrating. Instead we were both dreading our imminent separation.

"You're gonna leave tonight aren't you?" God, those soulful brown eyes slayed me every time.

"Yeah, school tomorrow. I have to cook for Charlie tonight too. I'm surprised he hasn't burned the house down yet. He's a menace to anything food related." I tried halfheartedly to smile ... I failed miserably.

"I wish you could stay."

"I want to, but the world is conspiring against us as usual."

"You'll come down to see me tomorrow though, right? Jeez, Bells, we still have a few hours left to us, and I miss you already."

"I know ... I feel exactly the same. We've got to come up with some kind of plan if we're going to be together. We've got to fit schoolwork in there too. Even though I love you to distraction, I still would like to go to college. Jake, you've got to promise me that you'll keep up with your studies, because I want you to be my equal; you've got to be with me in college. I can't and won't leave you behind."

"I've thought about that. Did you know that my sister graduated High School in two and a half years? Now that I have a reason to apply myself, I could speed up my graduation too. Hell, maybe I'll even get my college degree before you do. Damn, this is so weird. Wasn't it just yesterday, that I almost bought the farm? And here I am planning the future for both of us. Us ... I'm really getting fond of that word. Two days ago, there was only Jacob, and now, it's Jake and Bells ... us. My biggest wish is now reality. I want to shout it from the rooftop! I think I will ..."

He took a deep breath and before he could let out a yell, I silenced his lips with a kiss that would put Hollywood to shame. Did I say kiss? It sort of started out that way, but suddenly my arms were around his neck, then they were tangled in his hair. I kept pulling him closer, and we both simply forgot about his injuries. I was climbing up over him in the bed; his good arm was around my waist, and then when things really were starting to heat up—whammo! I could feel a couple pairs of eyes upon us.

Two voices accompanied the eyes. "Don't you two ever stop?"

"Don't you two ever knock?" This was starting to get ridiculous—not to mention annoying.

"If we did that—why, we'd miss out on a lot of juicy stuff," Quil countered.

Embry glared at us. "Ya know, once in a while you could make us feel welcome. Here we are coming by to see how Jake is making out. We had no inkling that he was seriously making out!"

"Yeah," Quil interjected, "And we even brought a present with us."

"Oh alright," I said, "let's see it then. I'm sorry, guys—really."

They stood there with their hands behind their backs. Embry put his offering on the bed. It was a bicycle pump. Then Quil handed Jacob a package; helping him to open it. Jacob started to snicker. It was one of those human sized blow up dolls. Jacob and I both roared with laughter. I had to admit, these guys were priceless. I got down off the bed and gave each one of them a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"We didn't want Jake to get lonely, so we thought since there'd be room in the bed tonight, Bubbles here, could keep him company," Embry explained.

"Do you two have plans tonight?" I asked.

Quil gave me a come hither stare. "What did you have in mind, Doll?"

"I was hoping you could spend some time with Jake after I leave. I don't want him to be lying here brooding just because I'm gone. He could use a little distraction, and—let's face it guys— you two are very distracting."

Embry smiled, "Sure, I guess we could sneak it into our tight schedules."

We all chatted about school and about bringing Jacob his assignments so he wouldn't fall behind in his classes. Embry complained about his mom being so strict. Quil talked about all the girls that supposedly were falling prey to his charms. Before we knew it, it was time for me to head home.

"Guys, do you think you could give us a minute alone?"

They looked at us knowingly, and quietly left the room, shutting the door behind them.

I handed Jacob my cell phone and the charger. "Here," I said, "keep this with you. I'll phone you as soon as I get home. If you get lonesome or just want to hear my voice—I don't care what time it is—call me. I'll have Charlie's phone right next to me. The number's on the contact list. One more thing before I leave ... I love you, Jacob Black."

"Love you too, Bells."

We shared a tender goodbye kiss, and I backed out of the room, and out to my waiting truck.