Elisir
by The Great Red Dragon
Chapter 9
Niki was numb. He sat in a hunched-over position, his head down and his hands clasped. He didn't move, stir, or shiver, despite the fact that he felt very cold. He had been sitting like this for what felt like hours, choosing this paralyzed sedativedess to the anxiety and tremor of before. He didn't know what time it was, or even exactly where he was. He didn't know where Mel was, or what was being done about the burning pouf, or about the two dead Perentils. He didn't even know what was being done about himself.
Not wanting to slip fully back into consciousness (and back to the feelings of unease), he closed his eyes and tried to recall what had happened after the sirens had closed in, around him and Mel - he remembered being pulled up, off of Mel and the ground, and not resisting because he simply didn't have the strength to. He was pushed away while someone knelt over Mel, checking his pulse. He did not see what the verdict was – he was pushed away again as more officers crowded the scene, moving around to investigate Mel and the Perentils. Push, push, push, until somebody held him by the shoulders and asked his name – he answered, "Nikita". The voice came again, but Niki didn't answer – his mouth didn't seem to be working. Perhaps the officer thought he was in shock, Niki, thought, he was held while the area bustled with more police activity than the red light and gangster's section of the city had seen for a long time. Niki couldn't see Mel, but he raised his head for the first time as he heard the whining approach of an ambulance. An ambulance meant hope – there was a chance. They were going to take Mel to the hospital, where –
Niki was pushed, once more, this time into the backseat of a nearby police cruiser. The officer got in the front seat, and informed Niki that he was going to take him to the police station. Niki wanted to ask if Mel was going to be alright, but his mouth still didn't seem to be working; all he managed were a few inaudible mutters and whimpers that the officer, in his dark uniform and midcap, didn't even seem to hear. He started up the cruiser, and Niki turned to look out the window - the ambulance, a floating, curved rectangular medical unit, cruised past the window just as the cruiser that Niki was in lifted, and he managed to see medics stepping out of it before it fell too far out of sight, and soon, even the menagerie of blinking and spinning lights disappeared in the darkness as the cruiser sped away.
Niki didn't say a word. He didn't try to see or even really pay attention in which direction they were going – the cruiser lifted up and gained altitude, leaving behind the neon signs and deserted buildings before passing into the districts that were less mangled by corruption and poverty. The lights were of giant homesteads: skyscrapers, too tall to see properly, but with small, individual lights that speckled all sides of these clean, colossal structures that stretched in numbers too great to count. The cruiser entered light traffic, but made its steady way through high streets and boulevards.
Kilometers passed, until the cruiser pulled up to a looming structure, not unlike the rest of the buildings. It was impossible to tell what color or even exactly what it looked like in the darkness, but Niki didn't care: he was hugging himself in the backseat, his head down as the cruiser pulled into a submerged garage. It steered into a parking space among identical cruisers, and slowly lowered itself to the ground as the cruise-control was deactivated. The officer stepped out, and slid Niki's door open to usher him out. Under fluorescent lights, Niki was lead to an elevator at the end of the garage, and was then lifted up, with the officer, to the receptionary level.
A length of dark, metal desk spanned through the width of the long room, separating a long line of wall-inserted seats from the designated police-only area behind the counter. The entire place was almost empty now – only a few uniformed officers, all of the same reptilian species, sat behind the glass dash of the desk, all of them busy as they spoke into transmitters and communicators – one of them typed furiously at a computer. Niki suspected that the majority of the force was out in response to the explosion. He would've hoped, in other circumstances, that there was more to the city police-force than just what he had seen and what he saw now…
The station, much like the rest of the planet, seemed substandard in its presence, in comparison to the futuristic example that the inner planets ungraciously placed: sleek, rounded surfaces, silent, efficient air-conditioning, and, overall, the latest technology was absent in the planet-wide setting, and painfully obvious in the police station - the floor was tile, fiberglass was used for the dash instead of enforced neoplastic, and the counter (if one didn't know better) may have been out of wood.
Niki gave no knowledge to any of this as he was lead down the counter and through a panel that opened. He walked in whichever direction he was ferried, was treated to a nausea-inducing elevator experience, walked some more, and was finally asked to sit. He heard a door close, and suspected he was in a separate room. He raised his head only to see where he was expected to take place: a chair that was taller than he was. This seemed to dawn on the officer as well; he hesitated for a moment, and then actually lifted Niki into the seat, the Experiment giving no resistance, protest, or otherwise response.
The officer asked him questions that Niki replied to dully – who was he, what was he doing there, was the gun his? He didn't lie…he simply made up whatever crawled over the landscape of his numb, icy mind. He didn't care whether or not his answers received merit from the officer, who simply sat and nodded.
A while of this passed before the officer's communicator crackled to life and ordered him somewhere. The officer replied and stood up, telling the Experiment not to move until he returned before he left through the door, closing it behind him. Throughout all of this time, Nikita hadn't even seen his face.
Even though he wouldn't have thought of it that way, Niki did as what he had been told for quite a long while. Occupied with worry and uncertainty, Niki sat still and continued to do so even when he began to feel cold, even when a twinge of discomfort penetrated his numb mind to alert him that his behind was becoming quite sore.
A beeping sound finally moved him to raise his head. He had to blink a few times to clear his vision – his eyes were a bit moist…
A large communications-apparatus (reminiscent of a primitive radio) that sat upon the officer's desk was beeping, as a red light on its hull blinked along with the beeps. It continued for a moment, before a scratchy, cackled voice broke into audio, addressing the officer that wasn't there;
"Unit member Opteno, report to the main floor, repeat, report to the main floor."
Surely the order would be repeated in a mere matter of time, Niki thought. Then, perhaps, if there still was no answer, someone may come up to search for the absent officer in his cubicle, and would find Niki. Then, assuming that nobody would know who he was (and Niki figured this with a strong likelihood), the questioning would start again, and he would have to lie again, and they might find out what he was, and…
Niki hated himself immediately for putting his cover above the delay that might be caused before finding out about Mel's condition, but the objective was still essentially the same: he had to get out of the police station. What he would do then, he wasn't sure – if necessary, he'd seek out the hospital, where Mel would have to be…unless…
Niki drove the thought from his mind and slid off the chair. He moved to the door without looking around the room any further, and stepped over the threshold onto a sleek tile floor, which spanned between rows of separate cubicles like a gridwork. He found his way down the cubicles and to the elevator with only one turn. According to the lined set of lights above the frame, he had to call the elevator three floors up from the main level. Luckily, the rounded door swiveled open to reveal the chamber empty, and Niki stepped inside and had to jump up to reach the panel. The door slid closed, and Niki, who had only experienced elevator-rides occasionally and a short while ago, managed to feel slightly nauseated as the compartment sank down three long levels.
Niki was glad when the door finally opened without a bling – the elevator was silent enough that the two officers in conversation, barely fifty feet away, weren't diverted from their talking. Knowing it best to remain hidden, Niki eased out of the elevator and around a nearby corner, pressing his back against the wall. His thoughts of getting around the pair were suddenly interrupted as he caught on to their conversation. Inching as close to the edge of the corner as he could, he dared a peek around the edge at the two uniformed policemen – a tall, plow-faced Erephan and an orange, dinosaur-like Tronodonian – as they discussed a scene all too familiar-sounding to Niki.
"So, how many dead?", the shorter Tronodonian was asking his comrade, holding a cup in his clawed hand.
"When I got off the scene, we had almost ten confirmed bodies", the Erephan replied with a small, tragic sigh as he leaned on the long main desk (which was now quite empty).
"We've got almost the whole force down there, trying to handle the situation, but we've only been able to get into part of the building…not sure if it's at all safe to go in there at all yet, much less into the rooms that were hit hardest by the explosion, y'know?"
"Yeah, I figure", the orange lizard-like answered with a nod, and sipped at his drink.
"Whaddaya figure it woulda have taken to blow the entire place to Hell like that?"
"We'll probably find out once we get in further…", the tall one answered, and shuddered.
"…but I really wouldn't want to be among those going back in there."
"Why?", the Tronodonian asked.
"…You realize that the place was a prostitution pad?", the Erephan asked in return, his voice somewhat hushed.
"Well…whoever lit that fuse didn't bother on alerting the, uh, 'residents' to get out…"
"Bodies?"
"Yeah…horrible. Burnt to crisps."
"Shouldn't they've been completely destroyed by an explosion that strong?"
"Well, obviously not…that was the most awful sight I've ever seen in my life; God save them. I won't be able to sleep for weeks…"
"What about those three out on the side of the building?...those two Perentils, and that odd-lookin' fella that all been shot?"
Niki braced himself against the wall as he heard this being asked, but didn't make a sound. He nearly dug his claws into the wall behind him as he inched as close to the edge of the corner as he could, hoping against hope that…
"Oh, yeah…well, they were loading them up in the ambulances when I first got there so I don't really know why they were out there, or why a firearm was involved. Nobody really understands the big picture yet."
"Yeah, yeah, but those three…were they dead, or what?"
"Yes…I'm afraid so."
Niki felt himself lose grip of his body. He slid soundlessly down the wall as his legs slid forward as if on slow ice, and was left sitting on the floor, staring up in a way that suggested determination…but was more likely to be stunt or shock.
How could it be? How could Mel be…? How would he know – how would the police officer know? He was just arriving – he wouldn't know if Mel was dead or not. He couldn't know for sure…he wasn't right. He couldn't be right. It just wasn't possible…
Despite his near-paralyzed condition, Niki could still hear the two officers talking, not knowing who was overhearing them so close by.
"Damn…", the Trondonian's voice was saying, actually sounding impressed, amidst the tragedy.
"A whole whore house blown clean up, and three extra shot-ups in the side-alley…what the fuck was goin' on there ya think?"
"My guess is as good as yours", the Erephan replied, shrugging his massive shoulders.
"Still, I think we can rule out the possibility of an accident…a building might blow up by itself, but three people dead from gunshots next to it is too much to cover with an energy leak. This was definitely planned…at least part of it."
"Yeah, well…"
Niki heard a crumpling sound as the Trondonian crushed his cup in his hand and came dangerously close to the corner as he moved to discard it in a trash can.
"Where the Hell's Opteno?", he faintly heard him say as the officer returned to the long desk.
"I've called him twice now; he needs to get his lazy ass down here."
"Well, if you've called him twice, he's probably not here", the deep voice of the Erephan replied.
"He might've been called down to the site – a cruiser was just leaving as I arrived."
"I didn't see him leave."
"You were probably using the bathroom."
"Yeah, well…what are you waitin' for, anyway? You've filled out the update-sheet you were supposed to, so what's keepin' ya around here?"
"Well…see, the thing is, I got a call from the captain – he'd gotten a call from the hospital, saying that they couldn't identify one of the victims that was shot. No trace whatsoever – not even the guy's DNA is registered. I figured we'd be able to find him if we had the updated Intergalactic search to our disposal, but…our morgues are all full, and the captain said we can't keep the body anywhere else, and the hospital and the captain both agree that…well, we don't have room to have a body laying around, so…"
"…They're gonna get rid of it?"
"…Yeah…I'm afraid so. Damn this warped planet and all of our systems and limitations…we're gonna keep a file on him open, and keep a notice of his description circulated, in case anybody wants to…uh…collect what's left of him after the incineration."
"They're gonna burn him up? Just like that?"
"Yes…and a vehicle carrying his body will be by any minute now, and I'm to identify and sign the go-ahead for the body to be incinerated."
"But you said you never really even saw the guy!"
"I know…but I was at the scene, so I guess they figure I'm as good as anyone else to sign the sheet."
"Daaamn…well, as ya said, damn this backward little planet and all our systems and limitations."
"I know, I know…"
Concealed from their eyes, Niki sat motionless behind the corner, while tears rolled soundlessly down his face.
It couldn't be Mel. When the vehicle that carried the body showed up, it wouldn't be Mel being ferried to incineration. How could they do such a thing – burn a body without even knowing who it was? Niki desperately tried to think of a time that Mel had clearly identified himself – where he was from, what his full name was…
But he couldn't remember. Try as he might, despite all urgency, Niki couldn't remember a single time that he had been told a hint of official status concerning Mel. He didn't even know if his real name even was Mel! Mel had never talked or said anything about his past or whatever life he had had before…even Niki wouldn't be able to tell the police anything of official importance.
Tears continued to flow freely from Niki's eyes, although now, deeper emotion was gripping his heart. He felt his lip begin to tremble, felt his mouth stretch into that crooked, crying frown, and he felt a sob coming. He knew that he couldn't cry now; he would definitely be heard by the police officers. He bit his tongue and tried to force his lips shut, refraining from emitting the sob that was so close to escaping from him.
A crackling emission from a communicator on the long counter deterred the officers from their conversation, and the Trondonian's voice replied to the incoming message;
"Head department here – please repeat."
"Mortuary vehicle here for identification of a body – waiting at front", a barely-decipherable voice replied, mired with the cackling of the pre-modern communicator.
"Copy – we're comin' out", the Tronodonian confirmed, and with a nod to the Erephan, headed towards the front exit, unaware that they were being followed by a small, peach-furred something that crawled over the counter and underneath the row of wall-mounted seats in silent pursuit.
Night was still prominent outside the walls of the towering police station, with a row of yellowish-orange headlights situated along the protruding entrance-frame illuminating a large, covered cruiser standing in front of the tall main doors. The vehicle was dark, wide, and tall; almost truck-like in appearance, the cockpit lay in front of a walled deck that was covered with a fluttery canvas and tied down with steel rope (in an already-out-of-date world, this vehicle definitely looked the most primitive). Standing next to it was a six-foot Luik – a humanoid, mustard-skinned character in a grey uniform, with a simple face and a line of flat, heretically-blonde hair that stretched from his slanted forehead to the curving back of his cranium. His light eyes made him look quite harmless, and he was fiddling with what appeared to be a watch when the two police officers pushed through thee main doors. The Luik looked up and stuffed his appliance into the pocket of his pants, taking a few steps towards the approaching officers.
"The garage ain't good enough for ya?", the advancing Trondonian asked seedily as he and the Erephan neared the covered cruiser.
The Luik frowned.
"It wasn't specified where I should go – there was no parking space, and I figured the garage was off-limits."
"Don't mind him", the Erephan said calmly, and stepped in front of his partner, towering over both of the other figures.
"May I see the body?"
The Luik nodded and directed him over too the back of the truck, where he unfastened the steel rope and slid back the canvas, so the officer could peer inside and pretend to recognize the individual beneath the deck.
"One major, explosive incision by a Shakrieter-shell, which broke through the rib cage, causing major shock and lacerating the heart and left lung", the Luik recited in procedure.
"Death was probably instantaneous. Three other notable hits likewise by Shakrieter shrapnel caused damage and lacerations to the left shoulder, forearm, and kidneys. Time of death is presumed between the hours of 001200 and 001205. Subject is species Arhkawan Sapiens, aged between twenty and twenty-eight. Sex – male. No notable marks, tattoos, or piercings on body. Presumably has engaged in prostitution. Body to be sent to Psonmik Mortuary for immediate incineration."
He finished the post-mortem recital and leaned over the canvas to give the body a glance and sigh in sympathy before pulling back the covering.
"The other two were Perentils – the hospital identified them immediately", he said, and added with another sigh;
"Funerals for them (after the questioning of relatives regarding the situation) and an anonymous cremation for this poor fellow."
"Yeah, yeah, sad for the hooker", the less-sympathetic Trondonian said impatiently.
"What were they all doing there?"
The Luik gave the officer a look of distaste, either for the indifference about the Arhk's death, or for something he felt was pretty obvious;
"I just work in the mortuary – how am I supposed to know?...but what does the presence of any two Perentils with guns indicate?"
"Mob-work?", the Trondonian asked.
"Well, don't think I'm saying anything official – I just work at the mortuary", the Luik said irkilly, before turning to look at the Erephan.
"You're officer Mofftan, right?"
"That's right", the Erephan said, glancing at the name-tag on the chest of his own uniform.
"I need you to sign a paper of responsibility", the Luik said, moving back over to the cockpit, where he opened a door and reached in to grab a clipboard.
He handed it with a pen to officer Mofftan, who took it but didn't sign. He eyed it skeptically before looking down at the Luik with a frown.
"Why do I have to sign anything? – I thought I was just to identify the body. I can't take responsibility for anything the captain ordered to be done."
"It's just a general layout; I typed it myself", the Luik replied.
"You sign it as a member and representative of the police department, but all responsibility is that of the captain of police – personally, I would've had him sign it, but orders are orders: it should be done as soon as possible."
With this explanation, officer Mofftan signed where he should and handed it back to the Luik, who threw it back into the cockpit and climbed in after it, closing the door behind him. Officer Mofftan and the Trondonian (whose name was officer Ryfo) turned back towards the main doors of the police station as the mortuary cruiser behind them started with a loud hum and lifted up off of the ground. It moved away from the police station, picking up a bit of speed but staying at road-level, with the Luik at the controls not knowing that a certain small Experiment had grabbed ahold before he left, and was now keeping himself desperately clawed to the fluttering canvas.
The mortuary, much like the red light and gambling sections of the city's sector, lay in a more impoverished part of the area than the police station, though unlike the afore-mentioned places, this run-down, dark, and glum area yielded no sexual or alcoholic reprieve from the deadening feeling of hopelessness. Here, the buildings were smaller, and often damaged or abandoned. The mortuary was likewise a small and squared structure, though it literally held more depth than its sad, skeletonic neighbors – much of its working space was located underground.
The Luik guided his obtuse caravan through the grimy and drudged streets of the structural graveyard, the headlights of his low-riding vehicle supplying the greatest amount of light among the area. He slowed down as his destinated building came into sight – the twenty-five-foot-tall structure, plaqued with a large, non-neon sign that read "Psonmik Mortuary", footed with a smaller "rates depending on species".
The rate for the unfortunate Arhk in the back of his cruiser, the Luik noted, wouldn't be great, but would be paid for by the police department, or the hospital, or the government (if there even was one present, which he doubted), or whoever. Then again, it didn't really matter - the Luik would leave the management over to his superior; his job was only to reduce this body.
He pulled his cruiser up along the designated driveway in front of the mortuary and lowered it until the anti-gravity drive was completely deactivated; his ship settled onto the ground and the Luik stepped outside, carrying the pad signed by the Erephan officer Mofftan as he moved around to the back of his ship. He pulled back the canvas from the body and took a small remote from his pocket. He clicked it, and the body, supported by a stretcher and covered to the face with a sheet, lifted out of the back of the cruiser and lowered down to a height of five feet off of the ground, hovering seamlessly. The Luik pushed back the canvas over the holding-area of his cruiser, reverently pulled the sheet up further to cover the Arhk's face, and turned towards the mortuary building, clicking the remote again so the stretcher followed him as he walked.
The doors were tall enough to accommodate most species, and laid with glass inside metal frames. They were quite heavy, and the Luik had to hold the doors open for the floating stretcher to glide through. When he released the doors, they fell closed slowly, but eventually fell into place with a resounding bang that echoed throughout the empty building, going down, down, down…
It was dark, but the Luik didn't need light to navigate – he knew his place of work: to the right was a room that held an assortment of caskets of many sizes and a collection of urns, with prices ranging from cheap to mid-range. To the left was a set of stairs that moved in a half-X up to a larger room on the second floor, where, with a small fee, eulogies and post-burial/cremation 'parties' may be held. Straight ahead, sloping down into the darkness, was a wide path that lead to the incinerator. The mere thought of traversing down such a mine-like tunnel might send chills down the spines and vertebrates of species much greater than the Luik, but he had no problem with dark, dim places – it all went with the job of being a mortuary worker. Still, he flicked a switch on the wall that sent a thin row of illuminating lights down the ceiling of the sloping passageway. Giving a glance to the covered body on the stretcher, he put a hand on the edge of it, as if reassuring the deceased that there was nothing and nobody to fear in the darkness. Once more, he began to lead it forward, then downward – down into the dimly-lit passageway towards the incinerator.
The Luik stopped a second later. He turned and looked up the passageway, towards the door which was almost out of sight. His eyes narrowed in the dark and he stood quietly, listening; he could have sworn that he had heard something…something quiet, but still prominent in the near-silence. Was it the door? It didn't slam, but…
The Luik gazed up the passage a moment longer before turning back downwards and continuing on his path. Deciding that he must've (might've) imagined the sound, he tried to focus on the path and the work ahead, reminding himself that the occasional imagined sound or feeling the presence of something that wasn't really there wasn't uncommon if you worked in a mortuary home, even if you weren't paranoid, or believed in ghosts, or that the dead would rise up and stalk you.
He fought the feeling all the way down the wide, ill-lit passageway, glancing at the shadows on smooth, paved walls to reassure himself that he was truly alone in the passageway.
Finally, after several hundred feet, the passage leveled out somewhat abruptly in front of a large, re-enforced metal wall that coved the entire end of the passage. Only a small door set into the bottom center of the wall allowed access into whatever was beyond. This was all security precaution – keep the incinerator (which lay behind this door) underground and behind a metal door, just in case something went awry. The Luik pushed and undid the protective levers that kept the door locked and pulled open the heavy metal door, leading the stretcher inside before him.
He had to flip another light switch to illuminate the room, which was, undoubtedly, the biggest in the entire mortuary: a thirty-foot ceiling lay over a wide, mostly-empty space that lay in front of a massive metal incinerator that occupied the entire opposing wall of the room. An iron table was set into the center of the room, and was big enough to shelf most types of species. The Luik steered the stretcher holding the body alongside this table, and, with professional reverence, moved the body from the floating device onto the table, the sheet still covering the body and features of the deceased.
The Luik raised his head after doing this, turning towards the door that he had entered through. There was no reason to do otherwise, but he had left the door unlocked and open on purpose. He just wanted to see…to clear his suspicion…
He knew it was silly, but he wanted to be sure. Turning from the body, he used the remote to direct the stretcher against the wall and walked across the room to the east side, opened another small door, and disappeared down a narrow set of stairs.
A hang-on ride through the deadened streets of the city, more sneaking and hiding than he thought he could've done, and a traverse down a dark tunnel had tested him. He was cold, wet with sweat, and almost completely at the end of his mental duress…but he was finally alone. The Luik had left the room, and he was alone; (well…in a way) now, he had his chance.
His strength almost completely exhausted, Nikita managed the push open the already-leaned door to accommodate himself over the threshold. He stopped to lean against the metal barrier, taking in the awesome sight of the room and catching his breath at the same time. His chest was aching with the cold air he had inhaled and the stress induced by pushing open two heavy doors. Niki was sure that his lungs were close to popping, but…
He raised his head from his frantic breathing, and his eyes fixed on the erected table, upon which lay the shrouded figure. Niki's breathing slowed. Slowly, still clutching an arm across his chest, he began taking steps towards the table. Each step on the dusty, paved floor felt like a mile across a dessert, with the table acting as some ominous obelisk in the distance.
Niki's eyes were brimming. As hard and as cruelly demanding as it was in such a short amount of time, he had finally accepted and come to believe that Mel was gone…but accepting it was nothing compared to seeing it – seeing him. Seeing Mel staring up at the sky, unmoving and mute was one thing, during a time of fear and desperation…seeing him now, whatever he may look like, after accepting what all the evidence was pointing to, was…unspeakable. Unthinkable. Unbearable…
Niki took another step towards the table, his eyes on the covered form lying atop it. His eyes were blurred with tears, but the still-setting cover shone through his miraged vision like nothing else.
He stood in front of the table now, looking up at the platform, some two feet above him. He looked to his left, and found an adjustable stepladder standing against the wall.
His journey towards it seemed quicker than the one to the table – he had to push it to move it, and this took longer. Had he been in any other frame of mind, he would've worried about the mortuary worker, who was surely soon to return, but now, he only cared about his destination – the only thing in the world.
The stepladder finally met the edge of the table with a small clinging noise, and Niki pushed once more to make contact with the second rail.
Cling – it was set.
Niki stepped around to face the rungs. He gripped each of the parallel handrails with a tenacity and resolution that suggested he was about to climb a mountain. He had to nearly force himself to raise his right foot onto the first rung of the ladder, and when he raised his second foot onto the ladder, it was as if he had left the universe behind him – he was standing groundless, in space, with the only important thing in all of creation his destination, only a few feet above him. He tensed his grip on the rail and took a step higher. When he brought his other foot up, he placed it on the same rung as the other, like a child climbing. Breathing in with hard breaths, he raised himself another step up, and his foot followed. Then another. The whiteness of the sheet that covered the body rose up before him like a looming hill, and Niki felt his heart skip. Another step brought him head-level with the table where the sheet-covered cadaver lay, unmoving and motionless. Niki's throat seemed to dry up without reason, and he swallowed hard, only to find his mouth dry as well. It didn't matter. Another step. Higher.
A final step brought him to the top of the ladder, and he stood with the table creating a meridian at his waist. Niki's eyes were streaming from what could've easily have been the strength needed to traverse this far, but was actually the cause of the deep, numbly-desperate sadness that had crept in him, now that he had come this far. The undefined contours of the covered body left no doubt to who lay beneath the sheet, even though Niki had never actually seen beneath it. Now more than ever, the reality of his loss was sinking in, that something…someone, that was so close, so near to him…was actually so far away.
A sob finally escaped him. Niki brought his hands to his mouth, for a moment thinking to stop the flow of emotion…but a second later, he wondered why, for what reason…and slowly brought a hand down to the body.
His hand stopped above the covered face, as though it had met a barrier of some sort. He hesitated, and brought his hand back.
"Why?", Niki asked himself quietly, in a whispering thought.
"Have I really come all this way…just to say good-bye?"
Niki lowered his hand once more, and it brushed against the covered face of the one who could only be his loved one. He stifled another sob, and slowly made to pull back the sheet.
Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his shoulder hard, and his heart seemed to utter a scream that his mouth couldn't emit. He was spun around with such force that he was almost thrown off of the ladder. When he managed to grip both of the handrails once more, he was looking into the angry, suddenly-dark eyes of the Luik that had brought in the body.
"What the Hell do you think you're doing here!", he demanded, in a voice full of surprising menace.
"This is a mortuary, not a goddamn nightclub! What do you think you're doing!"
Niki's throat was blocked, with the combined lumps of this sudden action and the sadness of just a few moments ago. He was caught against the table and the spiteful Luik, who obviously found his presence less-than-welcome in the dark incinerator-room. He wasn't sure if he had been able to clearly explain himself even if he was in a clear state of mind, much less if he was as scared as he was now. He would've cried out, hadn't his throat seemed blocked.
"Well!", the Luik shouted, still cornering the frightened Experiment.
"Explain yourself! Say something!"
Niki managed to open his mouth; he tried to say something intelligent, but what came out of his mouth was far from tangible.
"I-I-I just-just w-wanted…just wanted…I…"
The Luik's face didn't change – it showed no sympathy or compassion; only anger and resentment for the creature who had infiltrated this otherwise-empty place.
Faced with such animosity, with his nerves completely shot by now, and not knowing what else to do, Niki did the only thing left to him – he began to cry. He wouldn't have been able to hold back if he had wanted to, and now, for the first time of the night, he completely broke down. His legs giving way, he sank down onto the top of the ladder, unmasked tears of exasperation, fear, and sadness pouring down his face into his open mouth, from which escaped not just one sob, but a long, drawn-out, whimpering cry that shook his entire body uncontrollably.
The Luik, quite surprised at this, withdrew his hand and almost took a step backwards. He was intending to surprise and scare whoever he knew had followed him into the basement, and he was very irritated at the trespassing…but to find this strange, damp, little creature crying in front of him wasn't something that he had counted on happening.
"…Hey", he said, in a voice much lower than before.
"Hey…what's wrong? What's wrong with you?...what are you doing here?"
He got no answer, for the little guy seemed beyond answering. He was shaking so bad, he seemed about to fall off of his perch on the ladder…at which elevation, he was barely to match the height of his finder.
Not knowing what else to do, the Luik reached out cautiously, and put gentle hand upon his shoulder, in an attempt to both steady his shaking and to calm his crying.
"Hey…I didn't mean to scare you that bad", he said, trying hard to erase the tone he had used before.
"C'mon, don't cry…just tell me what you're doing here, alright?"
The creature sniffed between sobs and raised his head only enough to catch the eyes of the Luik. A deep, shuddering breath brought him a moment's calm, in which he managed to choke out but a few words;
"I…I just wanted to…my…my…I just wanted to…"
He motioned behind him, at the table on which lay the sheet-covered body of the dead Arhk, before putting his head back down to resume his crying.
The Luik looked beyond the Experiment at the covered body, and a moment's calculation brought the revelation - yes, he understood.
"I see…I see", he said softly, and gently rubbed the creature's shoulder.
"Was he…a friend of yours?"
The creature paused between his crying: he raised his head, and actually seemed to ponder the question, which he eventually answered with a nod.
"Listen", the Luik continued.
"Do you know…anything that might help with his identification?"
The creature seemed to think this question through as well, but this time, he answered with a sniffle and a shake of his head.
"C'mon – you don't know anything that might help to get him identified?"
Another shake of the head.
"Do you know where he lived?"
A pause…and another shake of the head.
"Does he have any family?"
A shrug of the shoulders.
"C'mon", the Luik pressed, starting to feel a hint of irritation with the lack of response.
"I thought you said he was your friend – who was he? What's his name, at least?"
Once more the creature paused and seemed to think. He raised his head higher than before to meet the eyes of the Luik fully. It seemed with tremendous resolve that he spoke, and there was a definite tone of reverence in his voice;
"His name was Mel…and he was my lover."
He then lowered his head once more, and slowly resumed crying.
The Luik took all of this in, then stood motionless, trying to find the best way to react to such a statement. Yes, now he understood the underlined reason for the effort and trepidation that this someone had gone through to follow him to the mortuary…but how to respond to a situation of such increased depth? He realized that he could do little or nothing to soothe the situation for this poor little guy; having worked in this distinct profession for some time, he knew all too well that there were few words that could console the grieving family, friends, or lovers of the deceased…be they hetero or homosexual.
Once more, he placed a soft hand onto the small, weeping stranger, and gave it what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze.
"I understand…I understand…", he said quietly, for this was the one solid phrase in the business.
The little guy said nothing, and only sat and cried some more. The Luik granted him this moment; not removing his hand, and throwing a time-killing glance at the massive incinerator, and pondering if it would still to be used that night.
Two minutes of crying didn't so much seem to calm the creature down, as it did to exhaust him. He sat with tear-stained eyes, sobbing dryly, as though his tears were running out. After two minutes of crying and shaking, he wiped his large, bulbous nose and gave a hopeless shake of his head, clearly not knowing what to do. The Luik figured that now was the best time to attempt to direct the situation.
He knelt down slightly to be at head-level with the creature, and waited until their eyes met (momentarily) to speak to him.
"This is important", he told the tan-colored creature quietly.
"If he can't be identified, then I have to cremate him tonight. Isn't there anybody you know that might help identify him?"
The creature sat still and seemed to ponder this once more – with the last-chance stipulation going, he seemed more desperate to come up with a name or identity that may bring official light to his lover's profile…but, as before, he seemed to come up blank, and his shoulders slumped and he shook his head, although defeated.
"No…", he said, in barely more than a whisper.
"No one…"
"What about you?", the Luik asked, seemingly just as determined.
"You're his…well, his lover…don't you have anything, or know of anything, that might help with his identification?"
There was another indication of drastic mind-searching, but again, the creature came up short.
"No…", he said again, with a shake in his voice.
"No…there's nothing…I have nothing…anything that might…the fire…"
He broke off, and the Luik nodded.
"I'm sure he was given a thorough search", he said, even though he didn't quite believe himself.
"The mandates surely gave it an effort when he didn't turn up on the basic scan – they probably checked him for cornea-ID, DNA, even fingerprints…if he were registered in any system from here to the Galactic Central, he would've been identified, but…"
He broke off, realizing this was of little comfort.
He himself had given thought to how strange it was that this Arhk, who lived on this planet, wasn't registered in any data-bank as anybody else would be. He had no idea where the native planet of Arhks was, and hoped that someone in charge of the search had had the sense to check with it before they signed the body for incineration. There were several theories that might explain this lack of profile, illegal immigration and underworld action seeming the most plausible. Given that the Arhk had been killed by a pouf gave heavy suggestion that he had been a prostitute, and the trafficking business consumed many that had stowed away to a planet, without money or connections…
It seemed probable, but given the circumstances, the Luik thought it best not to ask the small stranger whether or not his theory was accurate.
Instead, he straightened up and looked down at the quivering, down-headed somebody, in silent resignation to what his orders obligated him to do.
"So…there's absolutely nobody who could identify him?", he asked for the final time.
The creature shook his head, this time without any type of pause or consideration – he seemed completely defeated.
"Okay…", the Luik said, with a small nod.
"If that's the case, then…I'm afraid that I'm going to have to cremate him."
The creature neither said nor did anything – he only continued to sit there, staring downwards in gloom.
"…Do you want some time alone with him before…?"
Niki looked up at the Luik, then behind him at the covered body.
One part of himself was asking if it was worth to spend time with somebody who couldn't even see or hear you, or even know you were there; somebody that was dead…but the other side of him knew it was only a wall that was suggesting this: a wall of suggested indifference, building subconsciously in response to another notion that had been creeping up inside of him: he was alone, now, all alone…
But this was no simple dead somebody…it was his Mel.
He looked back at the Luik…and gave a small nod, which the Luik returned before checking a watch on his wrist.
"…I'm on a schedule…", he said, as if ashamed about it.
"…before I have to fill out a report that it's been done. There's not much time, but…"
He trailed off, and looked to the metal wall in which sat the door.
"…I'll go and get an urn", he said.
"…I can…I'll be back in five minutes, okay?"
Niki nodded, and the Luik did as well. He moved over to the door and gripped the handle, prying it open with a bit of difficulty, but looked back at the creature. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but, seemingly fearing an echo, he slid through the door and let it fall closed behind him.
Niki watched the door for a while, as though waiting for all vibrations to die before he slowly pulled himself to his feet and turned to face the covered body lying before him. He sniffed once more, feeling himself oddly dry, as though he wouldn't be able to cry anymore. He reached out slowly and took the edge of the white sheet between his fingers, and a moment later, he pulled it back slowly.
Mel's face showed no hint of the terror that had been etched into his features earlier that night. As a matter of fact, his closed eyes and lightly-set lips were quite the essence of serenity – he looked as though he were sleeping. His hair, despite not set in its usually-styled sharpness, was straight and unruffled. He was clean, seemingly unmarked, and the generic tunic that he wore (visible on his exposed shoulders) bore no sign of bloodshed. To a casual eye, there was no trace of the terror that had taken place the night before.
Niki stood above his lover, with sad eyes that were longing to share this sort of serenity, offered only by his lover's state. He withdrew his hand, and after a moment, emitted a small sigh.
"So…is this how it ends?", he asked Mel, and received no answer.
Feigning detachment and indifference hurt him at once. He reached out again and gently moved his hand across Mel's straight hair and grey garment.
"…Look what they've done with you", he said quietly, plucking at the cheap material.
"…Taken your clothes and messed up your hair…wouldn't you be upset…"
Once more, there was no answer, and Niki simply rested his hand on the edge of the table.
"Mel…what am I going to do now?", he asked his mate's body, allowing his thoughts emittance.
"Ever since I came here, you've been there for me when I needed help, when I needed someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on…or someone to take care of me…what am I going to do if you're not with me?"
He hung his head and shook it, emitting a hollow laugh that didn't quite manage to emulate his emotions.
"…It takes somebody trying to rape me to make me blurt out how much I loved you, just so you can go and get yourself killed a day later; what a fine, illustrious relationship we had, huh?"
Mel's silence may have mirrored his immediate reaction if Niki had presented him with the same question had he been still alive. Niki tried to laugh again, but it only came out as a dry cough from his parched throat. Groaning, he sank to his knees and folded his arms to rest his head on the edge of the table, right by Mel's shoulder.
"Goddammit…why did you have to try and save me?", came his sad, muffled voice from his lowered head.
"Why couldn't you just have let me die, instead of making me watch you die in front of me?"
He raised his head, but sank his chin back into the confines of his arms' cushion, his eyes staring blankly, as though right through Mel.
"Better yet, why couldn't I have saved you?", he asked, his voice a bit of a drone.
"Let me save you for you saving me…then I might be gone, and you'd still be here, faring much better because you've always been the stronger one…but no, you go and get shot, and leave me all alone on this piece-of-shit-planet, so I can follow you here for a five-minute good-bye…"
Suddenly, he jumped to his feet and slammed both of his fists down on the edge of the table, sending a loud echo through the room and shivers across the sheet that covered most of Mel's body.
"I thought you loved me!"
Only his echo answered him, as it ricocheted off the walls of the huge room, coming at Niki again and again, as though he was the one who had been shouted at.
It took a moment for his fists to lose their anger, and when they did, Niki's face fell with them: empty, hopeless, and devoid of energy, filled only with the great, never-ceasing sadness that had crowded him. He noticed his eyes beginning to brim with a fresh supply of tears, but didn't blink as he stared hopelessly at his lifeless lover.
"…I love you, Mel", he said quietly.
"I love you so much…I love you so much, I c-can't live without you…"
He sniffed and blinked, and a pair of tears fell from his eyes onto the table. Niki closed his eyes, and begged with all his being that he would feel a warm, gentle hand reach up and wipe away his tears and sadness, releasing him from thee insane pain and dread that coursed through him. He prayed that a pair of arms would lovingly pull him against a warm chest to eradicate the fear of being alone and lost in a huge world. He pleaded that a pair of well-known lips would plant a kiss of his forehead and whisper reassurance to him, telling him not to worry, that his lover was not dead, and that he loved him just as he did.
…But nothing came. No warmth, no caresses or kisses, and no love. Niki opened his eyes and found himself once more alone in the room, with Mel lying unmoving and lifeless in front of him on the table, unable to soothe his suffering and unable to tell him that he loved him. Niki sobbed and clenched his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut as more tears pushed into them.
"Gah!", he exclaimed as he opened his mouth and his sadness escaped him.
"Oh, my Mel, my Mel, my love…why you, why you? Why not me? Why you?"
He raised his face towards the ceiling, feeling his tears run down his face and his throat tighten.
"Ohhh GooodDAMN YOU!", he cried out, choking on his own tears.
"Goddamn you! Why! Why my Mel! He didn't do anything wrong! He believed in you! He trusted you! Why did you take my Mel! WHY! GOD-FUCKING-DAMN YOU!"
And he slumped back down, his face in his arms, crying hard. When he did manage to raise his face from his arms, it was wet with tears, and his eyes were red from the crying.
"S-So…I g-guess even your God is against m-me, huh?", he asked Mel tearfully.
"Yeah…n-nobody likes me…or my kind…"
He sniffed, but was stifled momentarily by an unexpected sob.
"T-Two years", he gasped out.
"I've kn-known you for two years, and n-n-never…ever did you know wh-what I was…huh?"
The Experiment was quiet for a moment, before whispering;
"I guess…that makes us even…I never knew who you really are…or were…or where you came from. I never asked…I never cared…because of what you meant to me…"
With effort, he raised himself again and managed to lean forward, practically crawling on the table, his head close to Mel's.
"…I love you, Mel", he said quietly, as though relaying a secret only his lover was to hear.
"You're the most amazing and greatest thing ever to happen to me…I don't care who you were before I knew you…I just want you back…"
Carefully, he reached down beneath the covering and took Mel's hand into his own, while the other gently petted the Arhk's bony head.
"…but I know…", he finished, in a whisper.
"…that's not going to happen."
He squeezed Mel's cool hand and stared deeply into the unopened eyes. Somewhere, far away and far less important, he could hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Very gently, he leaned down a tiny bit more, a pressed a tiny, unreturned kiss against Mel's lips.
"I love you, my Mel…", he whispered, still holding on to his love's hand.
"I promise…I'll never, ever…forget you."
He pressed a final kiss against Mel's forehead, just as the door behind him opened audibly.
The Luik entered the room as permissively as he could, cradling a small, rounded urn in his left arm. He let the door fall closed behind him, and looked across the room at the small creature, leaning over across the dead Arhk. Though feeling increasingly bad for doing so, he tapped loudly against the death-vase in his arm to re-announce his presence in the room;
"…Hey…you, uh…done, over there?..."
Slowly, the creature righted itself and turned to face the Luik; his face, even from afar, showed an expression of hard indifference. He didn't say anything, but turned back to the body, appeared to whispering something to the deceased, and gently replaced the sheet that he had pulled back. He descended the ladder almost casually, and turned to the Luik as if to indicate his next move.
With a small nod, the mortuary worker set down the urn and moved over to the table. He took the ladder and carried it back to the wall before re-approaching the table. From his pocket he retrieved a remote, and called the floating stretcher back forth from its rest against the wall. Wordlessly motioning for the creature to move back (he needn't have bothered), he directed the stretcher once more alongside the table, and with the same reverent professionalism as before, he managed to move the body from surface-to-surface, without so much as disturbing the sheet.
Taking control of the stretcher manually, he pushed it closer to the massive incinerator, the creature following him slowly. With careful coordination, he moved the stretcher so that its shadow, directly beneath it, fell within a pre-painted set of rectangular lines on the floor, about ten feet from the incinerator. He pressed a button on the stretcher, and took a step back from it, looking down at the creature, who returned the glance with the same emotionless expression as before.
"We should leave the room now", he told him.
"For the incineration process, you know."
"I'm staying", the creature replied bluntly, without fidgeting with his statement.
The Luik felt a bit stupid at hearing this – after all, weren't people supposed to listen to him in his profession?
"Listen…", he tried to reason.
"It's not going to be pretty, and there's a self-risk risk factor that you'd be undergoing-"
"I'm staying", the little guy repeated, in a voice that guaranteed no compromises.
The Luik looked down at the short, skinny little creature and considered him. It certainly irritated him that this little trespasser was going against his order like this, regarding that he had just been handed a favor in being able to say goodbye to his lover. If he wanted to, the Luik was sure that there would be no problem in picking the creature up and bodily forcing him out of the room and out of the mortuary. After all, he had no business in there to begin with, so why should-
The Luik stopped in mid-thought, and regarded the creature for a second time. He looked at his determined expression, and he remembered what it must've taken for him to even make it this far, only to say goodbye to his beloved…such tenacity, the Luik had rarely seen, or even heard of. No, this odd little guy was not going to be denied…whether he, the assistant-undertaker, liked it or not.
"…Okay", the Luik said, smiling just a bit.
"You can stay in here…but it gets very hot when the incinerator is on, so you have to stand against the far wall if you're going to be in here. Plus, it can get very bright as well, so I'd suggest…"
He reached into another pocket and produced a pair of plain, tinted glasses, which he handed to the creature, who took them with a small, wordless nod of his head.
The Luik lead the way back to the far-end of the room, by the doorway, and pointed out a badly-faded red line that ran the length of the room, captioned with Turian writing "KEEP BEHIND", leaving barely four feet of space of provided walkspace.
The Luik gripped the handle of the door and turned to look at the creature.
"I'll wait outside", he told him.
"The incineration takes about fifteen minutes – give it an extra five for everything to cool off. I'll be back then, okay?"
The little guy, who had already positioned himself against the wall, nodded in return, but was already staring ahead, clad in the glasses, at the covered stretcher and the massive incinerator. The Luik nodded as well, more to himself than anybody else, and pulled open the door. Looking back once more at the incinerator, he pointed his remote once more, clicked it, and moved over the threshold and closed the door behind himself.
Niki barely even noticed the Luik's departure – his attention was focused solely on who lay some fifty feet in front of him: his Mel.
In their final parting, they stood or lay not side-by-side, but were separated by a distance too far for Niki to comprehend. His final moments of seeing his loved one were not in some warm, loving embrace, but of seeing him disappear from this world completely, leaving not even a cold, yet familiar hand for him to grip.
The incinerator, that massive furnace set entirely into the opposing wall, was heating up and brightening fast. Niki took no notice of this, not even when the ventilation crevices set symmetrically into the wall of metal began to display scenes of fire of what lay behind them. These fires quickly turned into the concentrated blazes that they had been built for, and the promised heating of the room began. By automation, Mel's stretcher began moving forward slowly, defying the heat that would drive any others away. A large, square hatch opened to receive the body, and the exhaust shot hot, billowing winds of pressure against the opposite wall, hitting Niki with force, bringing moisture to his face but not breaking his stance. Unblinded and unblinking, Niki stepped forward, as though following the moving stretcher, to the limit of the red line, leaning on the edge as though wanting to move further, but being unable to.
From inside the blazing inferno appeared twin robotic arms, bearing a long, narrow slate. These, with automated efficiency, slid the slate over the surface of the stretcher, and thereby scooped up Mel's body, securing him against the forceful exhaust with their tight, ungiving grip as they slowly slid him towards the fire, while the stretcher he had only previously rested on was blown away, against the wall.
Niki looked on, his eyes now wide and once more laden with tears (that were being literally blown from his eyes), his mouth open. He reached out his hand, and looked as though he would've wanted to have called for a stop, to say that he didn't want his mate to disappear into the fires. But, before his voice was even heard, it was cut. He lowered his arm, and closed his mouth, still looking on into the blinding blaze.
"You can't do anything", he told himself, in the otherwise-empty recesses of his mind.
"Mel is dead – he can't hurt anymore, and you can't help him anymore."
Mel's body had descended so deep into the brightness of the flames, Niki couldn't make out his head anymore. His insecurity was crying out against the latter message;
"What if there's still time? What if he's not gone? What if I can still save him?"
As Mel disappeared further into the flames, the opposing side of Niki's mind retorted with stern reality;
"But he's dead. He's not alive. He can't be saved. I was too late to begin with – I lost him when he saved me."
Slowly, Niki clenched his hands into fists, fighting to be strong in the face of what he was seeing, in the face of reality. He clenched his teeth as well, determined not to cry…("Mel saved me. He would do it again. He saved me because he wanted me to live; because he loved me. I can't cry not – I need to be strong…need to be strong…")…determined to be strong…("…like Mel").
Niki looked on, unwavering, as Mel disappeared completely into the fires of the incinerator. Only the meekest shadow of his lover shone through, through the inferno, as his body was consumed by fire not unlike that which he and Niki had faced together earlier that night, which had occupied their final moments together.
On the threshold of the safety-line, Niki saw himself looking into the maw of the terrible Dragon that had caused the fire of before, and the one of now. He kept telling himself to be strong like Mel had been, that he wouldn't back down, or break down and cry. It was more difficult than anything he had ever felt before – getting harassed by other Experiments, running for his life once, taking a customer he didn't want, or running for his life for a second time: nothing of any other nature compared to this, but still he stood, determined, and unmoving, as the raging fires consumed his love, taking from him the final worth in his life.
"…I love you, Mel", he whispered against the blaze, his voice not able to convey the strength his body was striving for.
"…Don't forget me, okay?"
And then, the hatch closed, stopping the exhaust winds and blocking the view of the flames inside.
Sixteen minutes later, the Luik re-entered the incinerator-room once more, and found the small creature sitting against the wall, hugging his knees against his chest, his head down. The Luik reached down and gave his shoulder a small shake.
"Hey…you alright, buddy?", he asked.
The creature raised his head slowly and gave a single nod. Carefully, he removed the shaded glasses and handed them back to their owner, who couldn't help but notice the deadened look in the creature's eyes. Without asking permission, he reached down with both arms and brought the little guy to his feet…on which, to the Luik's dismay, he looked a bit shaky.
"So…it's done", the Luik said unclimacticly, to which the creature said nothing; the Luik added;
"…I'll understand if you don't want to – I can do it, but I thought I'd ask – you could be the one to put your…uh, friend's ashes into the urn…if you want to."
The little guy looked forth at the now-unfiery incinerator, seemed to think on it, then looked up at the Luik and nodded.
The Luik nodded back, and, picking up the urn and a small stool, lead the way over to the silent incinerator. Placing the stool in front a hatch much smaller than the main one, he let the creature climb on before he opened the hatch. Inside, in a small space, sat a rectangular metal tray, in which, it seemed, the ashes had been caught. Handing the small guy a couple of utensils and the urn, the Luik looked on carefully as the creature used a handbrush to sweep in the ashes, and a small set of tweezers to pick up the small, charred fragments of bone.
Once this was done, the Luik took the urn and sealed it, closed the small hatch, and motioned for the creature to walk with him to the exit door. He held it open for the creature to walk through, before calling the floating stretcher to glide through the door as well before he switched off the lights and closed the door as he stepped through it, leaving the room housing the massive incinerator completely dark.
The walk up the sloping passageway was completely silent, sans footsteps of the Luik and the peach-furred creature. Each step for the stranger seemed to build a further resolute not to speak, while the Luik spent the entire trudge trying to think of something of meaning to say (the stretcher's thoughts and feelings, however, remained uncovered). Nothing of sense, though, came to mind, and even by the time that the two of them reached the top and the entrance, their party had remained without any exchange of words.
They stood at the top, side by side, without much reason or viewable ambition. The Luik glanced a look down at the creature, and in the dim light, couldn't quite read his expression…besides that he seemed to be staring ahead, without movement. Not knowing what to think or say, his mind drifted to the thought of filling out the necessary report, now that the incineration was done…and, in a moment, the urn slipped from underneath his arm. He jumped, thinking for a terrible moment that he had dropped it…only to find it in the hands of the creature.
"I'm keeping this", he said shortly, holding it against his chest.
"Hey, now wait", the Luik replied, feeling that this had gone over the line of leniency.
"Do you have any idea of what kind of trouble I can get into if that turns up missing? You can't keep that-"
He had reached for the urn, but the little guy had jerked away faster than he thought he could. The Luik thought once about reaching for it again, but upon seeing the now-illuminated face of the creature, immediately thought twice about it – the guy looked ready to fight for it, with favors.
The Luik sighed, fed up with the situation and the entire night – so what if he wanted to keep it?
He looked back at the creature…and found a more sympathetic picture: the creature, bereft of the animal-like, vicious possessiveness of only a moment before, was holding the urn softly in his arms, looking down at it with soft, sad eyes, thinking thoughts and feeling emotions known only to those unfortunate ones who had lost someone as close as a lover…he had seen it before.
The Luik drew a collective hand over his mouth and chin and sighed; he was exhausted, but still concerned about the strange little creature's well-being.
"Look…", he said, after a moment.
"Why don't you stay here…with me for a while? We could, well, try to work something out-"
"Do you think I have nowhere else to go?", Niki interrupted, raising his head and looking at the Luik with offensive eyes.
"Do you think that was my home that was blown up earlier tonight? Do you think I'm some one-credit whore whose livelihood just went up in flames? Is that what you think?"
"What did I say?", the Luik thought to himself helplessly at this reaction.
"I just offered to help!"
He was about to say so, when Niki's expression softened and he gave a small, exhausted laugh.
"If you thought so…you'd be right", he said quietly, not caring to what reaction this may lead.
"…I just want to help you", the Luik said, with some desperation.
"I'm sorry about your lover…but if there's anything I can do, I really do want to help you."
Niki had known enough hypocrites, wannabes, and bullshitters in his existence to spot one the moment they opened their mouth…and he knew at once that the Luik was being sincere in his words and intentions.
"…I know", he said quietly, cradling the urn in his arms.
"…Thank you for what you've already done for me…but…I don't think you can help me anymore."
"You could stay at my place for as long as you wanted", the Luik pointed out.
"Anything you want: money, a ride to somewhere…"
Niki closed his eyes in the darkness and reflected;
"Money…a ride somewhere…"
He opened his eyes again and looked at the Luik.
"You'd be surprised to know how much those two things have been on my mind, lately."
"C'mon – anything", the Luik pushed.
"I want to help you…any way I can."
"You can help me…by not telling anybody I was here, and pretending you lost the urn", Niki replied, before adding;
"…And by not asking why."
The Luik's face wrinkled in some desperation;
"Isn't there anything else I can do?"
Niki smiled softly, but shook his head.
"No…thank you for everything."
He stepped towards the door, and while holding the urn in the cradle of one arm, he pushed the heavy door open by himself.
"Wait!", the Luik called, still standing alone in the dark.
"Can't I…can't I even give you a ride anywhere?"
"No thank you."
"…Not even some money?"
"That's the least of my worries."
"…Can I at least ask what your name is?"
"…It's Nikita. And yours?"
"…Erin."
"Thank you for everything, Erin…bye."
And with that, Nikita walked out of the mortuary, and left Erin the assistant-undertaker standing alone in the dark, feeling quite helpless and confused.
As Niki began to walk down the wet streets leading away from the mortuary and into the collection of small buildings, he hugged the urn containing the remains of Mel against his chest and wondered if he had made the right decision in refusing all help and walking away. He thought about it for a moment or two, but quickly enough, as he entered further into the zones of poverty and debris, the heaviness of his still-aching loss crept back over him, causing him to lose himself and all care of direction in the darkness. He walked on, minding the roads, turns, and occasional vehicles he went by, but by large, he had little or no understanding or interest in what was going on around him. It had stopped raining, but he still found himself becoming quite cold on the wet, icy streets…though, not that he cared. On the contrary, he hoped that a certain cold would mean his death, which, he hoped, brought either the possibility of seeing his Mel again, or simply not having to feel the pain anymore.
The standing fact, however, was this: in the near future, he would question both his decision to leave the Luik and the idea of death, regarding them both, at respective times, with opinions that changed with circumstances – he would both yearn to have taken Erin up on his offer, but would also feel it was the right decision to leave; he would wish he were dead, but would then also give anything to be alive. Alas, none of this mattered to him on that night, as he walked on through the darkness - cold, sorrowed, and feeling more alone than he ever had in his life.
That same night, after much walking, Niki raised his head at a surprisingly-large building that towered over its neighbors. A large building it was indeed, comprised of stone and metal, with a skeletal spire that ran up several hundred feet, and displaying beautifully-lit windows of painted glass: it was a church of some kind.
Niki remembered Mel'sfaith – despite what he himself thought, he thought it only right that he should honor Mel's beliefs, and hope only for the best for his loved one.
He made his way to the stairs that lead up the great double-doors of the church, at the top of which stood a Drozonian (species) priest, holding what appeared to be some sort of prayer-staff. Niki approached the priest with his head bowed for humility, feeling the eyes of the holy man catch him as he neared. Niki held the urn aloft, and bade the priest if he might speak a prayer for his deceased lover.
The Drozonian priest, in sweeping robes of maroon and gold, showed indignation and disgust on his hairy, lumpy face as Niki said this, and tapped his stick smartly on the stone to show his disapproval.
"I have no time for this!", he growled, and disappeared through the large doors, briefly letting out the warmth of the inside.
Niki stood speechless on the steps, the urn still raised. He slowly lowered it and stared at where the priest had retreated…and his face contorted into an expression of anger, loathing, and deeper disgust than that of the priest.
"So that's a man of God", he growled, slowly turning on his heels and starting down the stairs.
"That's areligion of unity and compassion, where all are welcome in the name of God…a God who loves all…"
He finished down the stairs, and moved slowly across the deserted street. At the sidewalk lay a discarded bottle. Niki slowly picked it up, and set down the urn. He turned around, took a few slow steps, and then ran at the church. Reaching back, he threw the bottle with all his might, which crashed squarely through the large, circular painted window above the double doors, shattering the glass with a disruptive racket.
"SEE THAT!", he shouted as loudly as he could.
"SEE THAT! WHO'S GONNA SAVE YOU FROM THAT!"
He found a stone, and likewise threw it as hard as he could, further damaging the window.
"SEE HOW STUPID YOU ARE!", he shouted, his voice fueled by the emotion in his loss, sadness, anger, and fear.
"PRAYING TO A GOD THAT DOESN'T EXIST! THERE IS NO GOD!"
And before priests and church officials could make it out of the church doors, Niki had grabbed the urn and had already disappeared in the darkness.
"An Angel's face smiles at me, under a headline of tragedy
That smile used to give me warmth
Farewell – no words to say, beside the cross upon your grave
And those forever-burning candles
"Needed elsewhere, to remind us of the shortness of our time (tears laid for them)
Tears of love, tears of fear
Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows
Oh Lord, but why – do the Angels fall first?"
-Nightwish, Angels Fall First
