Fragmented Soul: The Fluffy Bits

Mummy

A Severus and Harry snippet

December 1984

"Daddy?" Harry asked, looking up at his father with large, innocent, green eyes. "Who's that lady?" he questioned, pointing at the photograph of a red headed woman holding a small, smiling baby in her arms.

It was a picture that took pride of place in the centre of their mantel piece; it was also one of the only pictures Severus had of the love of his life, his most beloved friend, and Harry's mother. He had had it framed as soon as he could, wanting to protect it; Harry would have little enough to remember his mother by without the picture becoming damaged too.

"That, my beautiful boy, is your Mummy," Severus said, scooping up the four year old into his strong arms to give his son a cuddle. He fetched the photograph from its position on the mantelpiece before settling them down on the sofa together, almost accidentally squashing Baloo bear in the process.

"Mine," the small boy said, stretching out his arms to accept his favourite cuddly toy, before father and son took a closer look at the picture. "Is that me?" Harry asked, jabbing a little finger at the glass, pointing to where his younger self sat in Lily's arms, grinning and sucking on his fingers quite happily. Lily was smiling her beautiful smile, full of life and beauty; this was how Severus wanted Harry to remember his mother, happy, carefree and perfect.

The four year old had a curious expression on his face when he looked up at his Daddy, cuddling Baloo to him as he waited, expectantly, for an answer. Severus smiled fondly at the little boy as Harry began sucking on one of Baloo bear's paws, something he seemed to find comfort in.

"Yes," Severus said, placing a soft kiss to the unruly mass of raven hair that sat atop his young son's head. "She loved you very much, little one." He never wanted Harry to doubt that; Severus was happy to take Potter's place as Harry's father but he would never let anyone replace Lily.

"Where is Mummy?" Harry asked innocently and Severus sighed; he knew that this difficult day would come but he hadn't thought that it would come this soon. Harry was a smart boy, the signs of accidental wandless magic were astonishing but for him to ask about Lily was something he hadn't expected for at least a little while longer yet, though he supposed he had been asking for trouble displaying her photograph the way he did. He just didn't want either of them to forget her.

"Mummy is in heaven," Severus tried to explain, not really sure what to tell him. "She's being looked after by angels now." There were still occasional moments like this one where he felt completely out of his depth with being a father to little Harry; of course, the little boy was completely worth it all. He knew that there would likely always be times when he felt as if he were drowning, but most of the time he could just float and he took comfort in that.

"Can we go and visit Mummy?" Harry asked.

He was looking at his dad with eyes that made Severus' heart melt every time he looked into them. They really were so like the ones that he could see in the picture of his darling Lily, and yet at some point he had definitely stopped thinking of those beautiful eye's as hers and began to think of them as Harry's.

"No, Harry, we can't" Severus said sadly, wishing that it were possible but there was no spell to bring back the dead, he only wished that there were. "But she never leaves us, she watches over you and protects you and you'll always have me, I'm not going to go anywhere."

"Love you, Daddy," Harry said as he snuggled into his Dad, Baloo bear still cuddled in his arms, the paw shoved back into his mouth to be chewed at and sucked on.

Severus tucked his arms tighter around the little body, holding him close. "Love you too, little one," the older man said softly placing another light kiss upon the top of his son's head.

Harry seemed completely unfazed by the conversation about his mother, but Severus, despite himself, felt emotionally drained. He wondered vaguely if he would always miss her as much as he did now, because the years since her death had done nothing to ease his pain. Perhaps it was better that Harry had been too young to remember what he had lost, for he would never wish this heartache upon the little boy in his arms.