Chapter 8-

A few weeks pass, where I barely see Longbottom at all, except in classes.

At least he doesn't seem to hate me anymore.

I don't know why I feel so happy about that. I mean, I like to say I don't care what people think of me…but if I truly didn't care, then I wouldn't be hiding my friendship with Luna from Draco.

I mean, he's already confronted me, twice, about it. And even though I wanted to proudly say it…honestly, I'm just a coward.

I know, I know if I don't want to become a Death Eater, I will have to leave my family at some point. But I don't want to leave them sooner than I have to. And I'm afraid I'll lose Draco if I do continue to hang out with Luna.

Luna didn't seem to mind, though, when I told her, which just made me feel even worse on the inside. But she cheerfully suggested we walk along the far side of the Great Lake instead, so as not to be seen.

Which is what we're doing now. It's Friday, and classes have ended, and normally I would be in the common room or in the library, but I escaped my nosy cousin on the pretense of needing fresh air.

Which was true, actually.

"So tomorrow's the first Hogsmeade weekend," Luna brings up, still in that dreamy voice of hers that's somehow grown on me.

"I am aware," I say.

"Well, some people are meeting at the Hog's Head," Luna says casually, "Want to come?"

I laugh. "Luna, I'm not even telling my cousin and my housemates about being friends with you, what makes you think I'm going to meet up with a bunch of your friends in public?"

"They're not my friends," Luna says, her tone not changing, "And it won't be as public. Not as many people go to the Hog's Head."

"Wait, hold on," I say, stopping. Luna doesn't seem to notice I've stopped walking and I lean forward and gently pull her arm back.

"What?" She asks, blinking at me owlishly.

"Who are you meeting with? And why the Hog's Head?"

She tilts her head. "To make sure Professor Umbridge doesn't find out, I imagine," she says, looking at me as if the answer was obvious.

"And why does a simple gathering of friends need to be kept from Umbridge?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

"It's not a simple gathering of friends," she says, "Harry Potter is starting a defense group. We're meeting to see who's interested."

And with that, she walks off.

Wait, what?

I hurry after her, so that we fall in step beside each other.

"Luna, do you mean to say Potter is starting a – a group to go against Umbridge?"

"And to teach us what she's not," Luna says, and skips ahead. I walk faster to keep up.

"We're meeting at noon, you should come, I think you would like it," She says.

"Who else is coming?"

"I don't know, probably Hermione Granger, the Weasleys – Ginny Weasley told me about it – and maybe some others," Luna says vaguely.

Potter teaching defense, I think, my mind racing, Potter will teach us – teach us how to defend ourselves unlike Umbridge – teach us to defend against the Dark Lord–

I stop abruptly, again.

If I join this group, I would basically be publicly declaring myself against the Dark Lord.

And it was just a few weeks ago that I could manage to admit it to myself. I didn't tell Luna but then again, I didn't have to. She just seemed to know.

"Luna," I call out, so that she stops skipping and turns around to glance at me.

"What are you doing?" She says, "Don't you know that area has a huge infestation of Wrackspurts?"

"I-what?" I shuffle away from the spot I'm standing in until she seems satisfied.

She comes nearer. "Are you going to come, then?"

I bite my lip, thinking.

Am I going to come?

Luna only said it was a few people…and if it's in the Hog's Head then it's unlikely someone from my house will find out…and I mean…if they're planning to keep this secret from Umbridge surely they can also keep my involvement a secret?

And this is only one meeting…I don't have to go to all of them…

Just to see who's interested, huh?

"Noon, you say?" I ask, and Luna beams and pulls me into a hug. I stiffen, realizing it's been a long time since I've hugged someone.

It feels nice.

She lets go quickly and gives me one of her dreamy smiles again, before skipping away again.

You are so weird.

In a good way, though. In a good way.


I stand in front of the dingy pub, steeling myself.

You can do this.

It's just a few minutes after the supposed meeting time, and even though I got here early, I didn't want to be the first to go in, so I hung around the corner, hidden, and watched the other students. There were a lot more students than Luna made it sound; I've counted at least more than twenty-five.

Yeah, I was a being a bit creepy. Oh well.

Now as I stand beneath the rotted sign proclaiming the old building as the "Hog's Head," I regret not going in first. Now I'll walk in, and they'll all stare and watch as I walked in.

Well, I can't do anything about it now.

You can do this, Ethelinda.

I brace myself, before taking the few steps closer to the pub, trying to ignore the fleshy smell emanating from it, and push open the door.

"What is she doing here?"

Everyone looks my way, even the barman on the one side and the patron covered in banadages.

Lavender Brown was the one who'd spoken. The other students all stare at me with a mixture of hostility and curiosity. Only Luna smiles dreamily at me and beckons me forward.

"I knew you'd be here soon," She says as she pats the seat next to her. I ignore everyone else's eyes and fall into the seat next to her. The students nearest us scoot away.

"Luna," Hermione Granger says slowly. "Did you tell Lestrange about the meeting?"

Luna nods.

Granger exchanges panicked looks with the two boys next to her, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, while mutters break out amongst the rest.

I'm about to speak up and defend Luna (and myself) when Ginny Weasley beats me to it.

"Guys, it's okay," She says, "She's Luna's friend. That says a lot more about her than Luna, doesn't it?" Her eyes find me and I nod, gratefully. She nods back.

"If you're sure…" Granger says quietly, flicking her eyes over to me, hesitance evident in her voice.

"The better question is why she is even here," Someone says loudly from behind me. "You'd think she'd be running off to Umbridge instead."

I turn around and recognize Zacharias Smith, a Hufflepuff.

"I'm right here you know," I say finally, fed up. "Why don't you ask me directly?"

All the students quiet down, staring. I realize it's the first time that a lot of them have even heard me speak.

Smith recovers quickly. "Well, then," he says, "why are you here?"

"I can ask you the same thing," I say. "We're all here because Umbridge doesn't teach us anything, isn't that right?"

He scoffs. "We're here because of Harry Potter, too. Your lot doesn't quite like him, do they?"

"Well I happen to not agree with 'my lot,'" I snap.

"That's enough," Potter says, and its telling at how much power he has over the students when they all shut up. "We're here to talk about Umbridge and defending ourselves, okay?"

I turn back to the front, as Granger starts speaking. Luna pats my hand, comfortingly.

Honestly, Smith had every right to ask me, didn't he? They all have valid reasons to be suspicious of me.

After all, it was only a few weeks ago that I'd decided for myself what side I was on. I'm replaying the words I said over and over in my head, feeling the anxiety creeping up until it's practically choking me.

"You did great," Luna whispers to me, quietly enough that only I can hear. The anxiety seems to wash away in waves. It's still there, but to a lesser extent.

It's not a big deal, right? But it's still…scary…to have spoken up in front of twenty or so people. In front of all those people who dislike me for some reason or the other.

But I can do this. I have Luna. And Ginny Weasley seems to be willing to accept me.

And maybe…I look over at Longbottom, who's sitting with all the Gryffindors. He catches me looking and hesitantly gives me a small smile. It's brief, but it's a start.

Right?

I pay attention to what Granger says, and soon Smith speaks up again, challenging Potter's validity and sanity.

Of course, Smith doesn't know firsthand that the Dark Lord is back, but he doesn't have to be so rude about it.

"I don't want to talk about Cedric Diggory, all right?" Potter says finally, voice rising. "So if that's what you're here for, you might as well clear out."

There's clear silence. No one wants to acknowledge what I've just realized myself; they came to hear how Cedric Diggory died, they came to hear Potter's story, to see for themselves if he is really just as crazy as the Daily Prophet makes him out to be.

I decide to speak up again.

"He is back." I say it quietly, but in the silence everyone hears it. At everyone's eyes on me, I want to run out. I want to leave. I want to take my words back and pretend I never said anything.

But I force myself to stay put. I grip Luna's hand and force my voice to stay even. "My uncle told me." I stand up, legs wobbling, facing everyone, who all hold their breaths, as if even one small movement can ruin this precarious balance I'm in.

"You all know who my uncle is. Lucius Malfoy. Yes, he was a Death Eater. Yes, he lied and bribed his way out of Azkaban. And yes, he's become a Death Eater again. And if you think I'm lying then ask yourself why I would lie about my own family?"

"Then why are you here?" Smith asks again. "What reason do you have to betray your family's lies?"

Betray your family.

"Because," I say, voice shaking. "I don't want to be like them."

Betray your family.

"How can we trust you?"

Betray your family.

"I'm here, aren't I?" I say. "I'm here, spilling my family's secrets when I don't have to. Those are the facts. And either…you can either choose to trust me or not. I don't care."

I do care, but they don't need to know that.

But how can I expect them to trust me when I've just shown that my own family can't trust me anymore?

Smith huffs and looks away, so I sit down. I feel everyone's eyes on me, the hostility mostly melted away with confusion to replace it.

Luna doesn't say anything this time, but she's beaming brighter than the sun and I can feel that she's proud of me.

I've done the right thing, haven't I?

It is the right thing, isn't it? To tell people firsthand that the Dark Lord is back, to warn them of his coming?

I don't say anything for the rest of the meeting, where Smith finally shuts up after a round of Potter-praising and George Weasley pulling out a lethal-looking item from his Zonko's bag and threatening the Hufflepuff with it.

Just because I'm joining Potter's group doesn't mean I have to like him. I still don't understand how he could be so friendly with Mudbloods like Granger. Then again, his own mother was one, wasn't she?

Then Mudblood Granger pulls out a scroll, telling us all she'd like us to sign it.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of us are reluctant to sign it, and I decide to speak up again.

"Why do we need to sign it?" I ask. "What if it falls into the wrong hands?"

"Do you really think I'd be so careless?" Granger says. "Besides, signing it is kind of like…well, solidarity, but also a promise to keep it secret. I'm hoping everyone is honorable enough to stick to it."

Well, now she's basically saying if I don't sign it, I'm untrustworthy, not loyal to the club, or whatever. But how can I trust a Mudblood to keep it safe?

Luna puts her hand on my arm. "I trust Hermione," she says serenely.

I sigh. What have I gotten myself into?

"Alright," I say finally. "But…all of you, I have a favor to ask."

Smith interrupts before I can continue. "What? Just because you're pureblooded, it doesn't make us all your servants."

"I know. That's why I called it a favor," I say. "But…obviously, we've all agreed to keep this club secret and all, but I'd especially like to keep my involvement secret. That means not associating with me at all outside of our meetings. If my cousin ever finds out what I'm doing, I'm as good as dead. And if they find out that I've told you the things I did…"

"We'll keep it secret, don't worry," Granger says.

I try not to show disgust that my safety is now in the hands of a Mudblood and jerk my head in an appropriation of a grateful nod.

I sign the parchment and hand it over to Luna, who signs it immediately before passing it on.

She really is too trusting for her own good.

Then again, would she have become my friend if she wasn't?