a/n: Sorry for the delay---tis the season of shopping, exams, family being in town and yadda yadda yadda, not enough time for writing. But here it is, and i think you will enjoy...i hope you enjoy!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

CHAPTER 9

This is torture, absolutely and positively torture.

Her arms were wrapped so tight against his body that he almost couldn't breath; but move them? Oh, I think not. Her head was nuzzled in the crook of his neck, and his arms were wrapped protectively around her as well. He has never cuddled like this, face to face. Never, not once. He wonders if that is weird. He was married for 20 years and he and Kathy had never slept this intimately.

She cried in his arms again tonight. She sobbed so hard Elliot thought she might hyperventilate. He could feel the warm tears fall down his neck, and he felt her pain deep in his heart. When her heart was broken it ultimately broke his. How could it not?

Olivia had told him that she felt like God was mocking her by giving her Simon. That her mother had fucked her head up so bad that she honestly believed she was meant to be alone for her entire life. Her mother also convinced her that no one could love her, and that Olivia herself was incapable of love, given that she was conceived in hate.

"I prayed to God once," She confessed to him, "I prayed that my mother would come home sober," Elliot knew something was changing with them, because she had never, ever talked about her mother, or her childhood to him before, "That night, I ended up in the hospital with a cracked skull. The worst beating I had ever received." She said as she clutched Elliot's shirt with her tight fists.

"My mother lost all her family when she got pregnant with me. Apparently my grandparents didn't believe her that she was raped, and banished her. Can you imagine?" She said running her hands along Elliot's arms, "No wonder she---"

"Don't Liv, that's not fair." He said stroking her hair.

"Anyways, she told me, 'it's you and me Liv, you and me, no one else could ever love something as pathetic as you and me'. This is what she told me when she rocked me back and forth on the bathroom floor, my head bleeding profusely, and I kept going in and out of consciousness."

Elliot sighed, "Don't" Olivia said, "Don't pity me, that's not why I'm telling you this," She said running her hand up his face.

"I'm not, I wasn't it. I'm just sorry."

"Your father beat you too, didn't he?" She asked her dark brown eyes searching his blue ones.

"Yes,"

"Did you ever hate him?"

"My situation was completely different than yours, Liv. He never sent me to the hospital."

"That's not what I asked you." She said as her hands traveled along his chest.

"Yes, sometimes I hated him," He said watching her hands on his chest, "How many times?"

"How many times what?" She asked as she laid her head on his chest.

"How many times did she send you to the Hospital?"

She didn't look at him, but continued to rub circles on his abdomen, "Too many to count."

He rubbed his hand over her back, "She's not the only one who can love you,"

She looked up at him with her water filled eyes, her expression was hard to read and for the first time Elliot didn't know what she was thinking just by looking at her, "I know," She whispered, "I mean I think I know…" She said sounding unsure of herself, "I'm afraid to love anyone," She said but not pulling herself away from him, "Everyone I love dies." And with that the intense hyperventilating crying began.

"It's ok to be scared, Liv." He said against her ear.

She propped her head up and he wiped her tears that fell down her cheek. His thumb stayed on her face and ran along the length of her luscious lips. He hovered over them making sure she wouldn't freak out before he very slowly and very softly captured hers with his. He didn't pry her mouth open with his tongue like he wanted too; he didn't flip her over and climb on top of her, like he VERY much wanted to do. He did however pull away from her lips and pull her into his arms and offered her his body as the comfort she needed.

So now here he was, with Olivia sleeping next to him, intimately. She was at complete peace, or so he thought. Until she started to move and her hands all over his body. At first he thought she was doing it out of anger, having another nightmare; however her hands were gentle, and rhythmic. And then he heard something…a moan? No, that couldn't have been it.

Oh, but it was. It was deep, deep in the back of her throat moan. He had imagined how she would sound, and what he heard was nothing, nothing compared to how she was actually sounding. It was beautiful, sexy, and the most erotic thing he had ever heard.

Yes, this was torture.

She pulled away from him, her hands slipping underneath the covers…

No fucking way…

Elliot had to adjust himself as there was not enough room in his shorts for his ever growing, and ever throbbing member, and if that was not enough, she had just moaned his name. He could see her hand trailing over her inner thighs, and he could have died in that moment. He had to do something; but what? He couldn't wake her up in the current state he was in, and he couldn't move because she would wake up from the loss of contact.

He could see her hand move away from her body and then he felt it. Her warm, soft and silky palm was touching him…ON HIS THIGH. Her hand was on his thigh. He had to do something, she didn't know what she was doing, and at the rate she was going he was going to cum all over the goddamn place.

"Olivia," he whispered, praying she wouldn't notice his current state, "Liv, wake up," He said shaking her gently. He instantly felt her hand move away from his thigh.

Her eyes opened immediately, "hmmm?" She said looking at him,all of him.

'So much for her not noticing,' he thought. He felt the heat on his face and he was sure it was beat red. "Were you having a dream?" He asked softly.

"The best dream in the entire world," She said sliding her hand to his chest and rubbing it up and down.

"I don't think that is a good idea, Liv," He said looking down at the sheets, his erection ready to poke a hole through them.

"Touch me,"

WHAT?!

"What?" He said his voice changing to a high pitch.

She giggled, "Touch me," she moved her hand and enveloped it with his bringing it up to her shirt, "Like this," She said as his strong hand felt the curve of her breast.

"Olivia," He said in a warning tone, "we're taking this slow remember?"

She smiled up at him, "I'm not asking you to fuck me, and I'm asking you to touch me. I want you to touch me, Elliot." She said in a still groggy tone.

Well for fucks sake!

He cupped her breast and squeezed it gently. He brought his other hand around and placed it on her hip rubbing it along her side, "Like this?" He asked nervously, like this was his first time ever touching a girl.

"Mmm," she said; because that was all she could say. Her panties were soaked from the dream that she just had, and all she wanted was for it to become a reality. His touch was so much more satisfying than that of her dream. Well, than that of any other man that had ever touched her. She decided that he had magical hands, because what he was doing, right now, made her insides wiggle, her stomach hurt and her thighs absolutely burn.

"Olivia," He groaned when he felt her hand cup his length and rub slowly up his shaft.

"What?" She said with a smirk.

"If you keep that up, it's going to be over before it starts," He said, as his lips became mere millimeters away from her lips.

She was the one that placed her soft lips against his, her tongue not wasting anytime to get inside of his mouth. It was hot, hard, and wet, and if she continued to stroke him like she was, and kiss him like this, there was no way he was going to last another minute.

He pulled away from her and shifted her so that he could climb on top of her. He placed his lips back to hers; but only momentarily. He proceeded to move his lips to her neck, nibbling on her ear for a second and then down towards her breasts.

"Off," he growled when he realized her shirt was getting in the way of seeing her real beauty.

"You have two hands," She hissed, as her thighs clinched in anticipation.

It took him about .00001 seconds to rip off her shirt and throw it to the floor. His lips dived right into her right breast as he played with the other one.

"Elliot," She groaned in pleasure, "Jesus that feels so good."

He kissed around her breast, and then under it, licking off the sweat that she was covered in. He kissed down her abdomen making note of her flawless abs. He felt her extremely long and silky leg wrap around his back and all he wanted to do was fuck the living shit out of her; but he couldn't. Not yet. He wanted to wait for the right time, make absolutely sure that that was what she wanted. He could wait forever if he needed too, because for her, he would wait for an eternity.

He felt the waist line of her panties on his mouth, and this time he didn't ask for her to take them off, he slipped them off methodically, his hands burning in desire. They were wet, she was wet. She was wet and she was moaning his name, HIS NAME! And he wasn't dreaming, and she wasn't dreaming. This was actually happening. He slid his fingers into her easily and rubbed them around her drenched folds.

Yeah, she must have had some dream…

By the time his mouth made it to her throbbing core, she was clenching her hands on his back, probably hurting him with her nails; but he didn't seem to mind, and neither did she. He spread her thighs apart and his hands trailed over her outer thigh as his lips pressed deep into hers. His tongue went over and over her clitoris, and she was surprised that she was still holding out. Because she was going to fucking cum, all over the goddamn place. They had so much built up sexual frustration that by the time he was done, they were going to have to flip the mattress because it was going to be soaked.

"Fuck, Elliot," She panted her eyes closed and her body shaking compulsively.

"Let go, Liv, release yourself to me," He pleaded. He couldn't believe that he was doing this to her, Him, Elliot Stabler was going to make Olivia Benson, HIS partner cum all over the place. His erection throbbed even harder than it already was.

"Elllliot, fuck," She moaned and grabbed the sheets to her sides, clenching them so hard in her fist that her knuckles turned white. Her body shook, and Elliot drank up ever drop that was released from her, "Holy shit," She moaned as her orgasm ripped through her body.

She grabbed his member in her hand, moving it up and down his shaft, her body still shaking from her earth shattering orgasm. She cupped his sac and kissed him hard on the mouth tasting herself on him, "Thank you," she moaned into his lips as she continued to move her hand along his shaft.

"No, no," He moaned, "Thank…ahhhh," Jesus! The things she could do with her hand, "Thank you," He said as thrust himself in her hand.

"You're so fucking hard," She moaned kissing his neck, sliding her tongue around his flesh wanting to memorize the taste of him forever.

"Oye," Elliot groaned as Olivia's hand continued its ministrations. He looked at her in the eyes, and was still memorized that she was doing this, "I'm not dreaming am I?" He had to ask because he had to know.

"If you are, I don't ever want to wake up," She said as she tugged on him harder and faster.

"Liv," He groaned, "Not…uh fuck," he moaned as she ran her hand along his sac, "Going to cum," He warned.

Olivia motioned for him to cum on her stomach, and she ran her hand up and down his length until he could no longer hold still and his body jerked and he released himself on her. Elliot reached across her and grabbed a stack of tissues to clean up his mess.

She kissed him hard on the mouth, "Well, we've never done that before," she teased into his ear.

"Well get used to it, there is going to be a lot more it," He said kissing her back.

"I can't believe we are actually doing this," She said as she pressed her head to his chest, "I mean, no one is going to believe this!"

Elliot laughed, "I know, right? Who would have ever thought that we," He motioned with his finger between their naked bodies, "you and me, would ever be doing this?"

And the two laughed hysterically at the mere idea.