Disclaimer: You know the drill.
A/N: Ok people. Despite the fact that I only got 20 reviews, I'm posting another page. But, let me just say this: 65 people have this story on alert, 35 have it on their favorites list, and 4 C2s have me archived. The stats just don't add up, so REVIEW!
-Page 9-
161) SG teams do not get them songs.
SG-7 heard "Seven Deadly Sins" by Flogging Molly, and decided it would be their personal theme song. The rest of the base just found it annoying.
162) Do NOT introduce your team as "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse".
a) you WILL be mobbed.
b) and possibly lynched.
163) Stop fighting over batteries.
a) this means you Atlantis!
b) they are re-chargeable for god's sake!
(Oh… that would explain the box thing they came with. –Ford)
(You idiot. I tried to tell you! –Rodney)
164) Floppy is no longer allowed off-world.
The natives of P45-172 had a sacred parrot. Floppy ate it.
165) Should you feel the urge to break into song, don't.
SGA-3 had just seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." The planet they gated to had a nice spooky mansion right next to the gate.
166) "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not a valid excuse.
167) Don't kill Carters plants.
Felger was lucky Chloe reminded him to water her fern while she and Jack were on their honeymoon.
(( A/N: This one is from Alix-Jesusfreak!))
168) When the native band is playing, SG teams are not to shout "play that funky music, white boy!"
But it was really funny when SG-9 did it to the albino people of Vulo.
169) Don't mention certain "events" around visiting representative of our Alien/Earth allies.
a) especially if they are about SG-1 or SGA-1.
b) or SG-3.
That last clause was the reason for the next rule:
170) Flare guns are not toys.
What the hell is wrong with you all of you!
SG-3 convinced SG-18 that a flare fight would be fun. And, it was. Unless you were the Gen. O'Neill, Gen. Landry or Gen. Hammond.
171) You are NOT super heroes. Don't introduce yourself as "The Fantastic Four."
(I don't care what excuse you tell Elizabeth. It stops now! –Jack)
172) When talking about Earth don't mention Jerry Springer.
173) Watch out for stairs
One word: Daniel.
174) Don't tell a village leader that your team mates are your harem.
a) they have ways of getting you back.
SG-13 had only one male member, Col. Dixon. His sarcastic comment was believed and the leader spent the next four hours trying to buy Major Kelly Henderson.
175) "I thought you had the GDOs!" is not something you should ever say.
SGA-8 spent 10 hours cut off from the gate by a snowstorm before Atlantis sent a MALP through to find out why they were so late. Dr. Weir gave an impressive three hour lecture that could be heard across the city.
176) Staplers are not to be used on colleagues.
Dr. Bryant was found stapled to his desk. Apparently the other engineers didn't like that he ate the last cookie.
177) Don't make fun of a person's accents, slang or country of origin.
a) for the love of God, play nice with each other.
Some of the American staff at the SGC decided to mock the Canadians. In retaliation, those that could speak French did speak French, and only French. The rest just said "Eh!" every three words.
178) There is a difference between a healthy fear and paranoia.
Rodney was such a hypochondriac.
179) Brass knuckles are not part of your gear.
The newest SG team was all Irish, and believed they should be. After all they did come in mighty handy when they got into a brawl with a Prior and his mob of crazed followers.
180) Take your piercing out before you go off-world.
Major Criton had a nipple ring. Had being the key word.
-End Page 9-
