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I own nothing but my OCs and theories and concepts. Everything else belongs to their respective owners.
When I woke up, I winced at the pounding migraine I had. It took me everything I had to sit up and open my puffy eyes in order to check my surroundings. As suspected, I was lying on the plush bed in Tsugaru's room while said man was asleep on a wooden chair next to the bed, a furrow in his brow that was unusual, compared to his usual placid features when he slept, that is. I crept out of the bed and draped a blanket over his prone form, the only meagre comfort I could offer that would not wake him.
I padded over to the window and stared out at the darkness of the sky that was only barely illuminated by the faint stars and the waning moon that was half-hidden by heavy clouds. The whole scene felt rather familiar, though distant, as if I was seeing it from another person's perspective rather than my own. The yawning chasm within me was gnawing nearly painfully on my mind.
Emotions, such worthless, unnecessary things that only further complicate matters.
I clenched my fists as I continued gazing at the night sky, wondering if opening the box that I had squared my emotions into was worth whatever I had right now. It would have been easy to do that again – lock those pesky feelings right into a box and toss away the key after shoving the contraption to the darkest corners of my subconscious; become an unfeeling machine.
Ah, but Hana, Kyoko, Tsuna, Kusakabe and Tsugaru wouldn't like that. Even Hibari would be disturbed in his own strange manner. He would probably express them in the form of torturous spars – one-sided beatdowns would be a more accurate phrase – while ordering me to return to normal or he'd bite me to death.
When had I become so laughably sentimental? If the people at that place saw me like this, they'd probably smile sweetly at me before throwing me into the confinement room for days and weeks on end, telling me to wake up and stop playing around. It's happened enough times after all, me getting punished that is. The absolute silence and the solitude of being shut into a room with thick, heavy steel walls when being bound with a straitjacket still made me freeze up and want to curl up into a tiny ball.
Shaking myself out of my rather morbid thoughts, I returned myself to the present, doggedly ignoring memories best left forgotten now that I had a new life with Hibari and my new extended skylark family.
Speaking of the extended skylark family, Tsugaru had begun to stir from his slumber, shifting about minutely on his chair that was highly likely very uncomfortable. I grinned at the prickly man, who was so kind beneath his hedgehog-like exterior that it almost physically hurt, and stalked over to him, intent on stroking his silky hair.
I winced at the creak that squeaked out deafeningly in the quiet space, cursing my lack of stealth for ruining my plan. Being a frontline fighter and interrogator instead of an assassin was an occupation that I did not choose, but received anyway. Assassins aren't really good at frontal combat since they usually rely on planning ahead and sneaky tactics to kill, so I suppose I should be grateful that I had sufficient strength to protect people I deemed precious with my own hands. Still, it would be amazing to see assassins fight one-on-one since they'd have to use their tricks and smarts to win compared to a direct combatant like me.
While I was pondering on the merits of fighting assassins head on, Tsugaru had drifted back to dreamland. I heaved a sigh of relief and continued sneaking over with the best of my abilities – which isn't much, as mentioned above – and thank the gods and goddesses watching over me that day, because the man didn't stir even when I opened the creaky door to leave and raid the kitchen, having given up on petting his hair without waking him up.
I tiptoed to said place and rummaged the fridge for leftovers, praying that there would be some of the amazing Mapo Tofu left over from yesterday. Upon finding the holy grail of tofu cuisine, I uttered a short prayer of pure gratefulness to everyone in the sky watching over me before digging in immediately. While the chill of the dish did disappointingly decrease the spiciness of it, it still had a sufficiently fiery kick that had me humming in pleasure.
"Finally! I've caught you, thief!" A triumphant voice rang out as the light flicked on and shone down on me harshly. "Now you can't es- What?!"
I did a credible imitation of a deer staring into suddenly appearing headlights, if I do say so myself, at the wide-eyed Kouji who had a broom brandished at me, my hands still clutching onto the container of leftover tofu as if it was my lifeline. The man lowered his makeshift weapon, his long black hair mottled with silvery strands swaying gently as he did so.
"So it was you all along?" He raised an accusing eyebrow while steely black orbs bored into me mercilessly. "The one who's been stealing all the leftovers…"
I quickly swallowed whatever was held in my mouth, finally finished with doing an impression of a particularly greedy hamster.
"I only stole the Mapo Tofu!" I protested, waving my hands about, ignoring the cringe that Kouji gave at the sight of the sauce flicking out of the container at each move I made. "I swear it was just the Mapo Tofu!"
"Great, so there's more than one person stealing food." The man looked just about done with life. "Since I've caught you, you're going to help me catch the other food thieves!"
"B-But..!" I whimpered, jutting out my lips just so while my eyes watered.
"No buts, unless you're volunteering to be spanked like a misbehaving child since you're acting exactly like one!" He glared at me sternly while I squeaked in fear, abandoning the container that once held the food of the gods in favour of protecting my rear end. "Now clean up the mess you just made, then go back to bed!"
"Sir, yes, sir!" I saluted him instinctively before doing as I was bid.
Kouji stood at the side, eyeing my work critically, not that he had to since I was obsessive about cleaning. Well, once I actually got into the mood for cleaning, or when the place was really too dirty to even step a foot into, that is.
I put the mop and cloth aside, wiping off the sweat from my brow as I gazed proudly at the now gleaming kitchen.
"Satisfactory." The second-in-command nodded his head imperiously. "Now be off with you, food thief!"
I did the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up, scowling at the giggling members who'd come out to see what the commotion was about. I took a quick shower and returned back to Tsugaru's room, only to hear a conversation going since the door was ajar. Deciding to eavesdrop, I leaned onto the wall, making sure not to cast a visible shadow and breathed shallowly in order not to make any noise. I placed a finger on my lips when any curious underling decided to approach, the mischief dancing in my eyes scaring them away, or at least making them nod in the silent acknowledgement of a fellow spy (prankster).
"…very well." Tsugaru's voice floated through clearly. "It was a good idea to do so."
"None of us wouldn have had any objections with how you handled that matter." Kouji replied. "All of us believe in you after all."
"Befriending that girl was a good thing. She gave us her knowledge, trust and information." Tsugaru stated. "She's a very useful tool now, isn't she? Very easy to control as well."
I froze in place, my eyes widening in shock as my vision began to blur slightly. I looked at the wooden floor as water droplets plopped onto the wood soundlessly, slowly forming a larger puddle as the seconds went by
They were using me, just like everyone else. Just as I suspected, the only people I could trust were Hibari and Kusakabe, and no one else. Look at what happened with Tsuna and now, the Momokyokai. It was just like what my sister said – the real world is cruel; you can trust no one but yourself. It had to be true, because she stabbed me clean through my stomach immediately after she said that.
"Oh, really? It's amazing how you lie with such a straight face." Kouji snorted knowingly. "Everyone knows how fond you are of that little imp. In fact, she is like our sister in everything but blood. It's surprisingly easy to love her, isn't it? You'd probably keep her around anyway even if she isn't going to help us with anything."
"Oh, shut up and let me sound like an evil person once in a while, would you?" The young boss grumbled. "Isn't what a yakuza boss is supposed to sound like? All rude and condescending about allies and not saying how…. how amazing they actually are."
"If that's the boss you strive to become, I guarantee you all of us would have already mutinied and put you in your place, whelp." The second-in-command sneered. "Such a person would not be fit to lead a dog or even a beetle, let alone a whole organization."
"S-So, y-you didn't m-mean all of w-what you s-said about me, r-right?" I sniffled as I walked into the room hopefully, praying that it was just as I heard it, that they actually cared.
The two of them visibly started at my appearance, even more so when they realised that I had actually overheard everything they just said. Tsugaru somehow paled and blushed at the same time while Kouji's usually harsh countenance softened at seeing my true feelings, that of a vulnerable child who's been so very, very lonely.
"What do you think, food thief?" The middle-aged man asked as he patted my head gently.
"I-I… I don't want to believe that I'm just a tool even though I might as well be one," I looked down at my feet, ashamed of how I thought that I actually thought I was worth something, "I… I'd hope that you guys would care and love me, even though someone like me shouldn't even have the right to feel that way."
Memories I had forcibly locked away began to spill forth one after another while I gasped for air, as if I was really drowning.
That's right, why should garbage like me even think that they're worth anything? What right did trash like me have to even assume that? After all, they sent me to the frontlines over and over again, hoping I'd die so it'd make clean-up and reporting easier, but I survived. This is made them scared of me, so they sent me out on suicidal missions, but I survived again and again. Then, they locked me up in that dark, dark room to control me because I was a danger, something that could kill them because I couldn't control myself, until I met him, my precious cloud drifting along so very forebodingly, and yet there was something so very magnetic about him that I couldn't resist chasing after.
"My dear child… Of course you have the right to feel like that. You are merely a human youngling, not a tool. If only I could get my hands on those bastards that did this to you…" Kouji sighed, his calloused hand caressing my tear-stained cheek softly. "We obviously care for you, or else we'd be hostile, like how we were before. Us yakuza won't stand down even if the odds are stacked against us, you know? It would go against our code of honour to lie and to deceive allies, much less our favourite little sister."
"Y-You really mean that?" I stared up at the two men, my grey orbs painfully childish in how much hope and wistfulness it emanated.
"Duh. Do you think I'd give up my bed and sleep on the most uncomfortable chair in existence for someone I hate?" Tsugaru grunted, his face red from embarrassment. "Idiot."
"S-So, you really love me..?" I bawled, rubbing away the tears that just kept flowing despite my strong effort to repress them.
"I already said that, stupid." The young boss mumbled, before drawing me into a hug that was just so very warm, saying something that was muffled by my hair.
"What did you say?" I demanded as Kouji decided to uncharacteristically join the hug as well.
"It's nothing you need to know!" Tsugaru exclaimed, the heat radiating from his face telling me that he was blushing super hard.
"If you really want to know…" Kouji trailed off suggestively.
"You shut up, old codger!" The younger man shot his mouth off quickly before tensing up after realising what he just did.
"I beg your pardon, boss?" The sheer malice pouring out from Kouji had Tsugaru whimpering in less than a second. "Did I hear you right?"
"I-I didn't say anything..!" The boss stuttered. "I'm sorry!"
"Good." The second-in-command smiled at us cheerfully after detaching himself from our group hug. "I thought I'd have to do something… unpleasant."
We nodded in unison at the scary man – whom many, including the boss himself, privately agreed was the actual leader instead of Tsugaru – as he beamed at us with that (literally) killer smile.
"Now, I must be off to corral the children to bed." Kouji turned to look at the corridor as he said that.
Our gazes followed and connected with that of a large group of sheepish underlings whose curiosity and gossipy tendencies could rival even that of a group of sixty year old aunties with nothing better to do except chat. All of us shuffled uncertainly, not sure what to do or say to break this awkward silence, at least, until Kouji decided to act.
"We love you, tiny assistant of the evil overlord!" They shouted various other endearments at me before Kouji ran them off, scolding them for eavesdropping on a conversation and more importantly, getting caught while eavesdropping.
"I love you guys too." I said softly as I looked at the door that everyone except Tsugaru had been.
"You'd better if you want to stick around with us." Tsugaru rolled his eyes. "We're hard to be around with unless you like us rowdy barbarians, or so people call us."
"Yeah, I like you guys a lot, primitive caveman tendencies and all." I beamed at him brightly.
"I'm not sure if I should take that as an insult, but I'll be the bigger man and accept your kind compliment." His eyebrow game was as impressive as ever.
I merely shrugged and grinned toothily at him before plopping down onto the ultra comfy bed, ready for some sleep since it was the middle of the night and all, you know, the time when people actually sleep?
The boss merely sighed at my behaviour and set up a futon beside the bed, grumbling about troublesome girls and their strange antics all the while. When he finally settled down and dozed off, I heaved a sigh and let the smile slide off my face.
Who could love me anyway? I was a fool if I believed what they were saying. But, I really wanted to, even if…
The next few days were rife with declarations of love flying everywhere, with the occasional bouquets of flowers turning up in the school or my apartment, even shoved to my face the moment I entered the Momokyokai compound. I was also escorted around by underlings spouting off love poetry and serenading me in public, to which I turned around immediately and feigned ignorance of their identity. I had no choice but to endure these fakefakefake declarations the best I could, resisting the urge to claw at my skin whenever they were shoved right in my face.
Of course, Hibari was annoyed by all the noise I seemed to attract and promptly had a brutal spar with me while Kusakabe patched me up with a sigh that practically asked what on earth I was doing now. I merely shrugged, because I really didn't know where this whole business was going.
Meanwhile, Tsuna and his gang have been suspended for at least a week as Hibari didn't want to expel them because they're associated with a baby – damn you, Reborn! – whom was interesting. I pointedly avoided the whole mess that was the athletic festival, choosing to spend it training instead of dealing with the headache that would manifest from cleaning up the aftermath, though my punishment for that was even worse than the plausible headache. Shivers went up my spine as I remembered that dark period in my life…
Still, it was strange not seeing Tsuna, or talking to him, but I slowly got used to the lack of a tuna fish now that I had various yakuza thugs following me around like lovesick puppies, fighting for my attention, but mostly just itching to spar with me to be honest.
I sincerely wonder what came over them, and I am now one hundred percent sure that the rampant homoeroticism that almost occurred would definitely have had Tsugaru star as the uke. No questions about that.
The next thing I knew, summer had already given way to autumn, where trees were alight with magnificent red and delicious food was aplenty. By then, Tsuna and I had unfortunately, returned to being normal classmates while the rest of the school were weirded out by the absence of our usually affectionate greetings and conversation.
It was so hard, so painful, and so life-draining to lose a very close friend due to someone's interference, over something I had no control over. I really loved Tsuna much like a brother, but it seems like he didn't feel the same way (of course he didn't why would h-) since he was studiously avoiding me as much as he could. I destroyed a couple of buildings when that fact hit me, but I had to swallow my depression and anger bitterly because I couldn't afford to associate with them and put Hibari and the rest of Namimori in danger anymore.
The tuna fish shaped hole in my heart slowly began to heal when I spent time goofing around with the Momokyokai and the other syndicates (who knew that Tsugaru was actually the brother of the wife of the Ryuujin clan leader, as well as a distant cousin to the Hakushuu group's heir?), eating cake and gossiping with Kyoko and Hana, cooking and learning how to play koto with Kusakabe, sparring with Hibari and training with my now really scary weapons.
Sui doesn't joke when it comes to lethal weapons that look deceptively harmless. Oh no, he doesn't. While those threads look about as scary as a tiny fly, they really were fucking dangerous and sharp when used correctly. I had accidentally sliced apart a ceramic vase and a super thick hard-cover encyclopaedia the moment those items barely even touched the strings – do not ask how that happened, please – when I was fooling around with them, which made me much more wary of those thin fibres, but at the same time, excited at how much stronger I've become.
During that time, that man's plan for me was finally realised – I was to return to China for two weeks in late November to early December. Unfortunately, I didn't get to tell Hibari about the whole thing in detail, timeline and all, before his bloodlust spilled over and he began stalking me the next few days impatiently, waiting for something to happen. As a result, my precious skylark boss has been moodier than ever, taking his anger out on the 'herbivores' or poor little me because he got his hopes up for nothing.
I kicked all the tiny pebbles and rocks I encountered as I patrolled the school alone, yawning while I did so. I grumbled at the unfairness of having to patrol alone – they stopped sending minions with me once they realised that the minions would be indisposed for the rest of the day since I'd drag them everywhere – as I decided to ditch and headed for the rooftop to slack instead. I knew Hibari wouldn't be napping on the rooftop today since he's been antsy and probably went to topple another yakuza empire or two.
Of course, I couldn't catch a break since the first thing I saw the moment I hit the roof was Yamamoto throwing a familiar-looking kid into the air with all his pitching strength. Less than a second later, the child exploded. Yes, exploded. I almost rubbed my eyes, thinking the stress was getting to me before I remembered that I did know a child with a braid that could god damn explode.
"Fuck me sideways." I groaned before moving to catch the child whom I was pretty sure was Master Feng's disciple, I-Pin.
Lord knows what the terrifying baby and his devilish monkey would do to me if any harm came to her while I was in the vicinity and capable of stopping it. You do not fuck with a super-powered baby and his evil sadistic monkey minion if you want to live without any psychological damage. The things I saw cannot be unseen even with the strongest brain bleach, or heck, even if I got a brain transplant. It's a wonder how I'm still a (relatively) sane human being from seeing those things.
"Gotcha." I caught the tiny child gently. "Big sister is here. It's gonna be fine."
"Big Sister..?" Her eyes cracked open just the slightest bit.
"Yes, it's me. Did you forget me?" I asked jokingly as I landed on the roof near soundlessly.
"I would never!" She hugged me tightly.
"It's good to see you well. What are you doing here?" I smiled at the child whom I've been babysitting since she was born. "I know Master Feng wouldn't send you to assassinate the candidate for the Tenth Vongola Boss position."
"He's not the candidate. He's the boss of the Arancini Famiglia!" The child insisted, even showing me the photo.
"Oh dear…" I stared at the person in the photo who did not look like Tsuna in any way. "You've got the wrong person, I-Pin. Your near-sightedness really needs to be fixed."
"It's… the wrong person..?" I-Pin looked utterly depressed. "I almost captured the wrong person!"
"It's fine, he'll live." I waved it off. "Tell you what, big sister will help you with the assignment just this once, okay? We'll work together to catch this guy."
"Really? Yay!" She glomped me, sending me back first to the floor.
"Fuck! That hurts!" I automatically grunted before freezing when I realised that I had an impressionable child right on me. "Did you… hear what I said?"
"No, did you say anything, big sister?" She smiled at me innocently.
"Phew… Good, good. I didn't say anything, I-Pin." I lifted her off me and set her on the ground gently, dusting off my clothing as I did so.
I turned around only to see the flabbergasted faces of the people on the roof whom I've forgotten existence of.
"You stupid bitch!" Gokudera jumped forth immediately with an accusing finger. "You sent that kid to kill the Tenth, didn't you?!"
"Obviously not since I just called off her attack on him." I rolled my eyes, tired of the immature storm guardian. "Now shut up and get off the roof before Hibari-sempai gets here because of the explosion. I won't be responsible if that happens."
"Tch." Gokudera clicked his tongue before dragging Yamamoto away with him roughly, mumbling uncomplimentary curses under his breath while Tsuna made to follow, along with Kyoko.
"U-Um… Xing Yu-san. T-Thank you for the birthday present. I l-liked it a lot..!" The tuna fish managed to stutter out before fleeing the scene with Reborn whom was staring at me with his beady eyes.
I could only gape in surprise to the fact that he had actually identified who the present was from even though I purposely made it as anonymous and as neutral as possible. Shaking my head, I could only carry the child in my arms while fielding questions from the minions streaming in, demanding to know if it was yet another terrorist attack follow-up from the previous one in the reception room. Even Kusakabe turned up in concern and alarm, of which only increased when he saw that I was involved yet again.
"Honestly, I'm getting really worried about you." He shook his head as he checked me over. "What are you getting involved in?"
"Something I don't want to." I scowled as I thought about Reborn and that stupid Vongola Famiglia. "I wish wishes do come true because if they did, my life would be so much easier."
The second-in-command gave me a sad, nearly commiserating look as he patted my back gently while the minions went to scour the area for more evidence of terrorism. Thankfully, the demon king himself didn't show up since he was busy toppling a yakuza empire or two. Things would have been much, much worse if he was here.
"Anyway, this is (sort of) my niece, I-Pin." I held up the child in my arms. "She came all the way here to visit me and got lost! Isn't she cute?"
"Indeed." Kusakabe smiled and patted her head. "Hello, I'm Kusakabe. I'm your auntie's friend."
"Hello!" My usually shy niece managed to croak out.
"Her Japanese isn't that good yet, so she'll usually speak in Chinese or Cantonese." I explained as I walked over to the exit. "I have to get her settled at my house, so I'll see you guys tomorrow then!"
A chorus of goodbyes was returned almost in unison before they returned to their work. I smiled to myself as I headed home with my pseudo-niece in my arms, wondering since when had I thought of Namimori and the Disciplinary Committee as home.
Omake: The Missing Sports Day Scene
"Yo, so I was thinki-" My sentence was abruptly cut off when a dark, evil aura greeted me, nearly crushing me with its pressure.
"Where. Have. You. Been. Xing Yu-san?" The owner of the voice growled.
"Here and there…" I chuckled nervously, inching towards the door. "Well, since you're so busy, I'm going to just leave and-"
"Oh, no you don't." A large hand reached out to grab me by my collar. "You're going to stay here and help me with the paperwork, like you were supposed to."
"B-But I didn't even go for Sports Day!" I sputtered, flailing about.
"You were supposed to since it was mandatory." A near demonic smile crept its way up my assailant's face. "This is your punishment, for not attending mandatory school events, and for leaving me with the paperwork."
I gazed between the crazed looking Kusakabe and the towering stacks of paper in terror, gulping noisily at what my supposed task was.
"You're going to finish all the paperwork and handle parents' meetings and complaints." He grinned. "Is that clear?"
"B-But..!" I made a last-ditch effort to protest.
"Do it or I'll burn all your gay porn and throw you to Hibari-san for shirking your duties." The unholy gleam in his eyes was really scaring me. "Am I clear?"
"Y-Yes! Of course!" I nodded my head rapidly, pale as snow. "I'll totally help you out, Kusakabe!"
"That's what I like to hear." The second-in-command gave me a gentle smile, oppressive aura and all gone as if everything that happened was due to my overactive imagination. "Carry on with the good work, Xing Yu-san."
That was the day I learnt why the person known as Kusakabe Tetsuya was the second in command, and to truly fear the wrath of one who was pushed too far.
As far as he was concerned, the boy never knew why I shied away from him for the next few days, only staring at me in worry as I mumbled under my breath and skirted around him like a spooked rabbit, or so Tetsurou claimed.
To TheParadoxicalOxymoron: I'm back indeed, after the ridiculously painful saga known as Common Tests. IKR I LOVE TSUGARU AND XING YU. The Dino part is gonna be interesting indeed *evil grin* All shall be revealed soon, well, if my momentum for the story keeps up, that is.
To MikiRukia: Thanks! I hope you stick around for the next few interesting chapters!
To Guest: Thank you! Hopefully this chapter and the next few would keep you around instead of scaring you away!
To Choco-Latte64, Zyma-nee-22, creven16, Aerishime, Patchwork Knightness, TargetFailed, and tarynfire: Thank you for favouriting this story! I really appreciate it! This gives me motivation to carry on!
To Zyma-nee-22, Aerishime, Patchwork Knightness, ZeldaHildaSabrina, TargetFailed, tarynfire, ViolentBookworm 173, and Aliathe: Thank you for following this story! I'm really happy that you liked it!
To my two followers/favouriters (is that a word?) whose names were not listed (melaniegrace and shiitake): FFNET is being dumb so I can't write your names out without it getting automatically removed. Still, I want you to know that you're appreciated! Thank you!
To all who read this story: Thank you very much for your support!
