"How's he doing?" Chas asked as she stepped into the back room of The Woolpack.

It had been four days since Ross had been admitted and discharged from hospital due to a severe panic attack. James had thought long and hard about the actions he would take from then on to help his son. He was ashamed of himself for not being there to prevent Ross from falling too far. He was fast running out of ideas. Just being there for him wasn't enough. Ross didn't want the help or support. He content with shutting himself away and bottling it all up and it wasn't healthy. The other day proved that to them all.

So he had decided that Ross would be living with him. He didn't want him staying at Andy's anymore. He couldn't keep on eye him there. He needed him with him and the other boys. They all needed to be together a family to help him through it all. The longer he stayed at Andy's by himself, the more he was shutting himself off. Andy hardly spent any time at his own place now, so it meant Ross was more and more by himself.

James knew that Moira had a lot going on up at the farm with Adam living back at home and hiding Aaron from the police, but he needed somewhere where all of his family could be together. Finn and Pete were still living at the farm. He knew it was a bit much, but he was desperate. He had spoken to Moira the night of Ross being discharged and explained everything to her. She already knew everything about Donna and the dodgy job they had all gotten involved in, so it just left Ross's decline into self-destruct to be explained. Thankfully she was understanding and knew how important it was to have family around to help a loved one. She agreed for James and Ross to move in for a short while, until he was back on his feet. Only under the condition that Ross didn't cause any trouble with Aaron. She told him she would deal with Cain if he had anything to say about it all.

Getting Moira to agree for them moving back into the farm wasn't the difficult part. It was getting Ross to agree. He was a stubborn young man. He had ran away from home and severed all contact with his family a few years back, so making him agree to move back in with his family wasn't going to be easy. Admittedly, the only way James managed to get the young mechanic to agree to move back into the farm was only because he asked him when he was exhausted and close to dropping off to sleep at moment. To be honest, James doubted that Ross had a clue to what he was agreeing to.

"He's getting there, I think." James told Chas. He had nipped back to the pub to fetch a few more items of clothing whilst Ross was still sleeping. He thought it was a safe time to disappear for a few minutes. "I managed to get him to agree to see his GP on Monday."

"Wow, blimey." Chas exclaimed, a little shocked. She had heard all about Ross's panic attacks. It had shocked James. No one would have thought Ross of all people would suffer from them. She could only sympathise with her boyfriend. She knew what it was like to worry about a son.

"Yeah." James puffed out. He was surprised to. It had been a quite past few days at the farm. Ross had been kept away from Aaron, so thankfully there hadn't been another outburst. However he highly doubted that Ross had the energy to have another go, the last panic attack seemed to have sapped him from any energy all together. "I was just as surprised as you are."

"Well it's a good thing he's agreed to. They will help him out loads." Chas assured him. "Plus it's good that he's getting help this early and not later on when things could be a whole lot worse!"

"Yeah."

"How was he when you left him?"

"Still sleeping. I should be getting back before he wakes up."

"Yeah course, let me know how things are going."

"Thank you. . . I mean it, for everything."


At Butlers Farm Moira was busy putting together enough food for everyone to eat for lunch. She had eight mouths to feed! She had already made the sandwiches and was just faffing about with finding crisps and cake to put on the table as well, they all men she was feeding! They could all put away a fair amount.

"Alright mum, how's it going?" Adam asked walking into the kitchen from outside.

"Oh here you are, you can take your food and Aaron's to eat outside in the barn." Moira said, grabbing two plastic lunch boxes with sandwiches, crisps, fruit and cake inside and shoving them into Adam's hands.

"Thanks mum." Adam thanked before disappearing outside again. He and Aaron had been hiding outside in the barns since the previous night. Aaron had been heard to have been spotted in the village last night and reported to the police. They were keeping him hidden in one of the many barns just in case the police decided to call round at random.

"Cain, could you round up everyone please, lunch is ready." Moira called through to Cain who was sat in the living room reading the paper.

With a huff Cain got to his feet and set the newspaper to the side.


The older mechanic had gotten Pete and Finn in from outside. Finn had kindly agreed to help out at the farm that morning. They were both dressed in overalls and covered in mud. The two boys had gladly dropped into seats at the kitchen table, happy to finally be able to take a few minutes rest from working hard all morning.

"What about Ross?" Moira questioned her husband as he was about to sit down himself.

"What about him? He's asleep upstairs." Cain said, pulling his chair out.

"Go wake him up, his lunch his ready." Moira ordered, deflecting the glare sent her way by Cain.

"I can go get him." Finn piped up, already pushing his chair back.

"No, you're okay. You're already sat down. Cain can go do it." Moira said. She sent a final look to Cain and began to eat her own lunch.

"Can't see why we can't just let him sleep." Cain commented before he left the room to get Ross.


Cain reached Pete and Finn's room which Ross had been sharing with them. He knocked on the door loudly and stood back waiting for an answer. When none came a few moments later, Cain knocked once more before letting himself in.

Ross was sat up in bed, looking like he had just seen a ghost. He looked tired, really tired.

"You alright kid?" Cain asked concerned as he stepped further into the room. The curtains were still drawn so it was difficult to see properly in the room.

Ross nodded his head slowly and swallowed. "Yeah."

Cain tried to weigh him up. They were all a little worried about Ross. "Well if you're sure. Moira's asked me to come get you down for lunch."

Ross nodded his head again. He didn't trust his voice to speak. He was frightened that he would sound weak and shaken. He was shaken but he didn't want Cain to know that.

"I'll go let her know that you're coming down then." Cain left the room after looking Ross up and down one last time.


"He's coming down." Cain announced as he entered the kitchen. He sat down at the table opposite his wife and tucked into the meal she had prepared.

"Did he seem okay?" Moira asked.

Cain nodded his head as he swallowed down the mouthful he had bitten into. "Okay as you could be considering."

The kitchen door opened up and James walked inside, carrying a couple of duffle bags. He placed them on the floor just inside the living room.

"You're back just in time." Moira said to James, gesturing to the food on the table and the spare seats in between her and Cain.

James smiled. "Thank you." He took the seat closest to Moira and looked around the table. "Where's Ross? Still sleeping?"

"He should be coming down."


He had had the nightmare again. He had woken himself up as he had thrashed around in the bed, in a cold sweat, panting and calling out for Donna. Every time he had the nightmare it changed ever so slightly. This time he had been the one to handcuff Donna to Gary. He had just stood back.

She fell. Silence. Her body hit the ground. He woke up screaming for her.


He was trying to ignore how everyone was being around him. Usually people couldn't stand to be around him. They never had a nice word to say to him, always putting him down or blocking him out. It was different now. They were all treading on egg shells, frightened to say something that would set him off. They were constantly being nice to him, too nice. He was always being asked if he was okay. The way people looked him as well. They no longer looked at him like he was scum, a problem. They looked at him with sympathy and concern, like he was going to fall apart at any moment. It didn't comfort him. It unnerved him, all of it did.

All eyes were on him as he walked through from the living room into the kitchen. Pete and Finn had definitely changed around him. Usually Pete could only put him down. He now acting like the caring big brother. He had always wanted to have some love or care thrown his way from his brothers and dad, no matter how small. Who knew it would take a secret girlfriend killing herself, to make it happen.

He silently took a seat next to his dad and Cain, trying to ignore everyone else. Another reason why had been sleeping so much, or trying to at least. Not only was he physically and mentally exhausted but he kept finding the need to hide from everyone else. He found pretending to sleep helped a lot.

He looked at the food in front of him and began to robotically place the food in his mouth, bit down and chew. He kept his eyes down, frightened that if he were to catch anyone's eyes they would try to engage him in conversation. Unfortunately that didn't work.

"Ross, me and Pete overloaded with work outside if you fancy giving us a hand. If you feel up to it, that is." Finn suggested trying to get him to talk.

"I don't think that's a good idea." James interrupted before Ross could even answer if he wanted to.

"Why? Maybe Ross could do with keeping himself occupied. He's been held up in that room for the past few days." Moira chirped up.

This was another thing that was beginning to get on Ross's nerves. Everyone was talking about him like he wasn't there, making decisions for him when he was perfectly capable of making them himself.

"Yeah I will." Ross said.

Finn smiled. "Great."

"Ross, I don't think-." James didn't look happy.

He was still capable of doing things. He had a panic attack. So what? When would they all forget about it and move on. He was sick of it all. He still felt humiliated that he felt like he was dying in front of Debbie and his dad and now everyone knew about it. Everyone had changed around him. They all thought he was soft, delicate. Well no more.

"If wants to dad, let him." Pete defended his younger brother.


It had been an awful long time since Ross had helped out on any farm. He had disappeared four years ago from his dad's farm, without a single word for nearly all of those years. When he had stumbled through Moira's doors after being shot, it was the first time he had stepped foot on a farm in all those years. Who knew he would be helping out on his family's farm after swearing he would never lift another hay bale or drive another tractor again when he had walked out? He certainly didn't.

He was stood outside in one of the old barns with his two brothers. They needed to fix a fence up in one of the top fields before they had to go pick up a feeding order in town. It needed all three of them to fix the fence. They were in the barn collecting the materials they would need before chucking them into the back of one of the trucks and driving up.

Pete's phone rang in his pocket. "You alright Debbie?"


Ross hadn't been much help when he was meant to be helping his brother's out. He kept dropping the wire when he was told to hold it up while they hammered it into place, or getting in their way when he was supposed to be fetching things or standing back. He was more of a hindrance. However Pete and Finn took it all in the stride just happy to have their brother around so they could watch him. It had been cold up in one of the top fields, the wind blowing harshly across their faces as they tried to work, despite the august month.

The young mechanic was now sat in the front passenger's seat of the grey truck, waiting for Pete to hop back in so they could carry on with their journey into town to pick up their feed order. He was busy minding his own business, staring out over the village while his brother was speaking to Debbie in the garage. Pete had parked the truck just outside The Woolpack. He had nipped into the café and picked up a few coffees whilst he was in the village before going over to see his girlfriend. They had taken a little detour before going into Hotton. Ross hadn't really been listening while Pete had explained why he needed to see Debbie. He didn't really care to be honest. He was just grateful for the break away from the farm.

He had been sipping on the coffee that Pete had given him before he had left him alone, when his ears perked up at the mention of Donna's name. Marlon and Bob had been walking past the truck from the Café to The Woolpack. The two of them had been in deep discussion about Donna and April. The windows to the truck had been rolled down slightly so he could listen clearly to what the two older men were saying to each other.

"I really think she should be there," Bob pleaded with the Chef.

Marlon had shaken his head. "No. I don't want her there."

"It's her mum's funeral Marlon!"

"I know. I just don't think it's suitable. She won't understand."

"She's got to be there tomorrow. It will help her understand it all better."

Tomorrow? Donna's funeral was tomorrow. Why had nobody told him? Surely his brothers, dad or Cain had heard about it in the village. They could have told him. Why hadn't they?

He jumped out of his skin when Pete opened the door to the truck and climbed in. "Alright?"

"Yeah."