Good news! I will be updating more often now. (: This story, believe it or not, is almost over. Only several more chapters to go!
And if you're interested in the story Unexpected then you might want to read this:
This story is also almost finished. There will be no sequel, but there will be a denouement. ALSO: I need people to start reviewing my other story: Something to Live for, Someone to Die for because I am about to start getting very, very into that story.
Thank you. (:
-Midnight Ambivalence.
Edward POV
I stared down at my love.
She appeared so fragile as they linked various tubes to her body. Though, she was sleeping, her expression was far from peaceful. She kept letting out heart-shattering yelps and it took all my power not to leap forward and wrap my arms around her. I was told to stay aback, more than a few feet away. I didn't want to interfere, but it was killing me to be left in confusion. I stood in the corner of the frantic hospital room. Doctors and nurses were running in and out of the room. They was a lot of shouting from the doctors who were commanding tasks needing done to the nurses. And all the meanwhile, my beautiful lay there, perhaps dying.
Here I was, supposedly one of the strongest creatures on this planet. I could snap a tree in half with little effort. I could run a marathon in a probable number of seconds. But I couldn't save my one true love, the only thing that matters, from dying of cancer. I had never in my existence felt so helpless. So useless. So worthless.
Just then, a small pixie rushed into the room. It was Alice. I had talked to her a few nights ago, wishing for her arrival. She gladly decided to come, excited to see Bella again, though I'm sure that what she saw now did not excite her in the least. Her eyes darted back and forth, from the limp Bella to me. Her expression was full of sorrow and suprise, her mind a bipolar race of emotions and impulses. She rushed towards me and unexpectedly threw her arms around me. I stared blankly, suprised, but quickly wrapped my arms around her as well. She could probably infer from my expression that I had needed that small ounce of comfort.
Alice pulled away, whispering "What's happening?" a bit of a trembling roll in her voice. I supressed a growl, remembrance of my own confused frustration washing over me once again. I turned back to the doctors and nurses, surrounding my Bella, trying to save her. I could save her, I realized, forgetting my helplessness for a moment. I just need them to clear the room. I just need to rid of them. I can save her. I wouldn't need medicine or any of that nonsense. If my own willpower was strong enough, I could make everything better. I could save Bella and we could spend forever together. But how? How would I get the doctors to leave? Would they? While a patient was dying? Damnit. No, that made no sense. By the way Carlisle had always spoken of his patients, I could tell that doctors built a strong bond towards their patients. They felt completly responsible for them, for their lives. This may just be impossible.
Bella POV
I've gone to hell.
That's all I could conclude from what I saw of my surroundings. I was in hell. Nothing but a waste land. I'm being punished. Punished for eternity.
The land was flat and contained no trees, plants or anything green, living. It was all dirt. Hard, cracked dirt. And it continued on forever. Everywhere I returned was hard and dark. Nothing or no one was even there to join me. There was nothing. Nothing but me and the wasteland. It was already beginning to drive me mad. This place was horrifying. The voices pierced my ears with their high-pitched screams when I moved or spoke. I was on the ground, bunched into a ball, attempting to clamp my ears shut.
There were so many voices. I was so overwhelmed. The voices would yell if I objected to anything they were telling me. If I disobeyed too much, knives would cut my still fragile skin. I would bleed. And the air would sting my wounds. Every part of me ached. My head throbbed from the pressing voices screaming, then yelling, then talking and telling me to do horrible things.
My throat burned and longed for liquid to drink. But the air was so dry, so patronizing. There was nothing for me here, nothing at all. No, I snapped at myself mentally. The voices want that. They want you to believe in nothing. To lose hope of ever edging back into a better place. That's what they need you to believe. I know it's what they need. But we can't give them that. They can't recieve joy. They won't get it from me. They're evil. Slowly eating my insides, boiling my organs. My ears bled as the screamings began racing through my head. I had disobeyed by disreguarding what the voices had to say. They're angry. Good, a part of me said, victorious. The stubborn part of me enjoyed the voices agony. I, the one who had to suffer the consequences, did not. I had not the right idea of what exactly it was I was feeling at the moment. Everything was so busy. So overwhelming. So agonzing.
You'll die here, this place will kill you. Just like it's killed so many before. one of the voices continued, their slithering voice disturbing to my ears. I tightened my grip on the inside of my ears, begging that this would end soon.
It won't. It won't end. Not yet, at least. You want it to end, don't you? Well.. there is one way, an incredulous voice began, different from the one who had spoken a moment ago. This one was the worst. It sounded so horrible, so evil.
The part of me that was tired of this, that couldn't stand anymore, spoke up. "Anything," I whispered, letting out a whimper from the sharpness I felt entrancing through my arm.
Suddenly, there was a sharp object in my hand. Hestitantly, I opened my eyes, tears parting from my eyes, to see a knife resting in my right hand.
Do it, whispered an intimidating voice. Then, after only a moment had passed the voice began to scream a shrill scream. DO IT! the voice wailed, causing my hands to grasp over my ears once again, a scream escaping my clenched teeth. KILL YOURSELF! END THIS TORCHUR! LEAVE US, ONCE AND FOR ALL! it continued on, the shrillness of it's voice rising, each moment that passed. My screams backgrounded this mysterious voices. The shadows that were the sky began to darken, coming in closer. I felt as if they came any closer I would suffocate. I was trapped, left for dead. No hope, nor faith. But wasn't that what hell was? Did I bring myself to this?
I tightened my grasp on the knife, resting next to my head. On impulse, I brought it down quickly into my stomach. The friction of movement sent a surge of pain running through my veins, but it didn't compare to the rush of anxiety coming through my whole bloodstream. The stinging of my wound, that I had dug deep into my stomach, baring my organs. Blood poured out endlessly and I screamed. I screamed and cried, embracing the pain. Embracing death. But it didn't come. I waited. I waited. But it never came. Did I deserve death?
Just when I was beginning to think that this was another part of my punishment, I felt something tingling running through my blood. Something hurtful, but oh so remember. It felt as if I were on fire. I clamped my eyes shut tight and sucked in air, clenching my fists. This was so much worse. I recalled it from another memory. One that felt as if it were from another lifetime. Remembrance suddenly took it's toll on my overwhelmed mind. James. Last year, when James bit me. My hand. This felt exactly like the pain that had went through my hand. Only ten times worse, because it was flowing through my whole bloodstream. This was the pain experienced when you had a vampire's venom running through your veins. When you were becoming a vampire.
But how in the world would that be possible?
A bit of a cliffy. Sorry, I couldn't resist! But at least I updated soon, right?
REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!
-Midnight Ambivalence.
