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Chapter 9
Jacob's POV
I woke up the next day to find Bella shaking with a fever. She wasn't awake but I didn't look like she was really getting any good sleep. Before I had time to think I reacted and jumped out of bed, thinking it was my heat that was making her sweat, and running into the bathroom to grab a washcloth.
I turned the sink on and downed the washcloth in cool water, running back into my room. I don't even know if I turned the faucet off.
I sat next to my bed and felt Bella's forehead and cheeks. They were hot and she was flushed. I wrapped my hand around hers to find it was still cool. A normal human temperature. She still had a fever and I had a feeling it wasn't because of turning into a giant wolf.
I hesitantly wiped the cloth above her brow and on her cheeks, hoping it would bring her some relief of the fever when it struck me that I didn't really know what to do. She was lying on her stomach with her hair fanned around her so I parted it in the middle to check her wound.
I winced when I saw that it was still red and raw. I hung my head, thinking that I could have prevented this whole thing. I heard my dad talking on the phone in the living room and decided it was time to ask him for some help. I kissed her forehead lingering a little longer then necessary to breath her scent in. She even smelled sick. How could I have done this to her?
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of any thoughts so I didn't go blind with panic and more or less ran into the living room. I saw my father talking on the phone watching a football game. Typical Sunday morning. Not so much today.
"Dad!" I shouted, making sure he would hear me above the game and the phone. He jumped a little and looked back at me. His eyes widened and he went to end his phone call. I must look worse then I thought.
"What is it Jake? Did something happen?" He asked, throwing the phone down looking completely freaked out.
"Dad, Bella's running a fever and I don't know what to do and her cut is really bad and…and," my knees buckled and I thought I was going to fall in on myself as tears cascaded down my face and a lone sob made it's appearance. Not knowing if your imprint was okay was some scary shit.
My dad wheeled himself over to me and grabbed my hand and comforted me.
"Ssh Jake, everything's going to be okay, just watch. Now come and show me what you're talking about. If it's bad I can always go and call a doctor." He spoke so calmly. I wish I had that type of calm.
I just nodded and walked into my room, walking right up to the head of my bed and sat down, my dad following in behind me. He went and replayed my actions before, looking like he's been doing it for years. He checked her forehead, her cheeks and then her hands. He shook his head muttering to himself about being more careful with his best friends daughter.
He moved her hair behind her shoulder and checked the cut there. He let out a deep breath and faced me.
"Son, I think we need a doctor. Can you call , it'll be better if he comes and checks on her since he's in on the secret." He sounded sad, like he wanted to be done with everything. I did too.
"Can… can you dad. I don't want to leave her. And can you call Sam too, I'm not going to do any patrols today. Tell him that for me." My voice sounded broken to myself. I climbed into my bed, staying as far away from Bella as I could and took her hand. I needed that reassurance at least.
"Sure son. I'll bring you the phone to talk to Sam though, I'm not getting caught in that fire." He chuckled and wheeled himself out of my room, leaving me with Bella who was still unconscious.
I didn't say anything back to my dad, I didn't want to fight right now and there was nothing Sam could do to make me stay away from Bella when she was sick, especially when it was my fault. All my fault…
I held her hand a little more tightly thinking of this. I buried my face into her pillow to hide my tears, smiling a little when I found it smelt like her.
I don't know how long I stayed but the next thing I became aware of was someone shaking me. I groaned and opened my eyes, bringing myself from my refuge and looking up at the doctor's smiling face. I grimaced.
"Well hello Jacob. Long time no se huh?" He sounded so peppy. I remembered when I was like that though, always upbeat. It seemed like in forever since I felt like that kid.
I looked over to Bella and closed my eyes for a few minutes as I started shaking. She still wasn't awake.
"Did she wake up at all?" I asked him feeling like an insecure child.
"I just got here but I'm guessing no. Would you like to inform me on what happened to her though. And what you want me to do?" He asked, sounding very non-professional. What did he think I wanted him to do? Go and have a freaking party together.
"I want you to check her temperature and her neck, give me any medicine she needs and tell me she's okay." I said, almost pleading with him. I looked up at him to see him frowning, a line becoming prominent in-between his eyes.
"You hurt her didn't you?" He asked me. I growled softly, jumping off the bed and pacing the room, knowing I was shaking. I wouldn't- wait, no I wouldn't phase this close to Bella. She needed me right now.
"It doesn't matter. Just fix her and get out." I ground out, glaring at him once I made sure I wasn't going to lose my temper. That wasn't what I wanted.
He sighed, eyeing me up and down obviously knowing that I was close to snapping. "Calm down before I do anything. I don't want you to phase when you're so close to Bella and I."
I closed my eyes and concentrated on nothing else but Bella. How, whenever she was lying her eyebrows would scrunch together, how when she jutted out her bottom lip whenever she wanted something from me. Nothing but her. I felt it when the shaking left my body and I opened my eyes again.
I walked over to Bella again and took her hand, sitting beside the bed this time so the doctor could look her over. When his eyes met mine I nodded once so he would know I was ready for him to start.
"Okay, well what symptoms other then a fever has she had?" He asked me, looking her over and checking her temperature with a thermometer. He made a noise in the back of his throat when he checked it after it dinged.
I tensed and took a deep breath. "Not that I know of no. I mean, I'm not a doctor you are and other then she still hasn't woken up when she went to bed at like eight yesterday I have no idea." I answered him, trying to keep the venom out of my voice. I knew it wasn't his fault that my Bella was like this. It was mine. That was why I was acting like this.
"Well, her fever is very high. It's 102.8 so there is defiantly something going on with her. But I would like to know what happened to her. So I can make sure to rule out a concussion or anything in that nature. She really should've woken up by now." He was in full doctor mode right now. He just had this look on his face.
I took a deep breath. Steeling myself of retelling what I had done her. Then I told him everything. That she had phased and yet she had no side effects the rest of us do, about Leah, what I had done to her, leading up to where we were right now. I tried so hard not to let my voice break but it failed me a few times. He never said anything throughout the whole speech though, he just listened.
"Alright, so you're sure that the fever is not because of her phasing?" He questioned me, being very serious.
"No, and plus we all run at about 108 not 102." I said, sounding desperate and brushing our intertwined hands across my cheek as I inhaled her scent.
"Alright, well I'm going to look at the cut on her neck." He said, parting the hair in the way and moving her neck this way and that as he checked it. I rested my head next to Bella's, trying to reassure myself she was alright as I listened to her heartbeat.
"So the cut is defiantly infected so I'll get you some medicine that will help with that, the fever should break in a day or two of using it. If it doesn't don't hesitate to call me. Also, I think we should wake her up before I go so I can make sure she doesn't have a concussion. I'll know right when she reacts to the lights." He explained and I couldn't deny waking her up.
I wanted her to keep sleeping, knowing how tired she must be but the other half of me knew that she really shouldn't be sleeping this long. I nodded and started shaking her, hoping it wouldn't be too hard to wake her up.
"C'mon Bells, you gotta wake up for me okay? Please, we're gonna get you better. I love you…" I keep going on and shaking her, not enough to hurt her but enough for it to become annoying so she'd have to wake up.
After a minute or two her eyelid's fluttered open and I kissed her forehead, smiling when she didn't flinch.
"Hey Bells. How ya doing babe?" I asked her. Nuzzling my head into her neck. I felt her laugh vibrate through me.
"I'm okay I guess. I just kinda hurt a little, and I'm kinda cold I guess." She trailed off for a second and I vowed again to never let her get sick ever again, get hurt ever again no matter how irrational that was. "Hey, who's this?" She asked suddenly and I looked around to she was looking at. Oh yeah, the doc was still here.
"It's the doctor Bells. You weren't waking up and you have a bad fever." I said, choking up a little. Her put her hand on my cheek, trapping some tears I hadn't known slipped out.
"Jacob, this is not- I repeat- not your fault. It was mine, I should have known better so stop blaming yourself. And plus, I'm still alive, there's nothing for you to feel guiltily for." She said, sounding stern, knowing what I needed then. I can't believe she was the one comforting me though, I should be the one comforting her. She was the hurt one here.
I leaned my face into her palm and smiled, sniffling-trying to get a hold of my emotions.
Then I remembered that the doctor was still here and we weren't in the most compromising positions. "So do you know if she has a concussion?" Bella looked at me like I was mad. I just gave her a small peck on the lips, wanting to take it so much further.
"Well, not that I notice. But just to be safe- Bella, is the light hurting your eyes, or does it feel like you have whiplash at all. I still think you should be on bed rest for at least two days. Three to four preferably but I never could get the wolves to stay from phasing any longer then that" He was gauging her reaction while she was shaking her head, saying no.
"Alright, well you don't really a say in this so I think I can go once I get you the medicine. I will be right back and it was nice to meet you, under better circumstances would've been better but so is the nature of my job. I hope we meet again though." He said, sounding way to friendly for my liking and I couldn't hold back the growl that was forced out of my throat. He just laughed, muttering that imprinted wolves were always so protective.
When he left he shut the door and I crashed my lips to Bella's, I loved how she would respond to me. Her hands moved into my hair and tug making me feel all tingly. The kiss was filled with so much love, so much longing but we never took it over then that. A kiss. My Bells was still hurt and I refused to hurt her anymore.
It seemed like we had kissed for hours when we finally broke apart. The smile gracing Bella's lips was solely hers. The one that she wore before everything got complicated. I let out a sigh of relief. Everything would be alright.
I stared into space until I heard Bella yawn. How was she still tired? I looked at her questionably. She just shrugged.
"Can you stay with me Jake?" She asked me, her eyes wide and innocent. How could I ever deny her anything when she looked at me like that. I nodded.
"Scoot over hun." I whispered and made my way into the bed, staying over top the covers because she was already running a fever. She laid her head on my chest and closed her eyes. I watched as she drifted off into sleep, her breaths evening out, all the worry lines banished from her face. I closed my eyes for a minute, not trying to fall asleep. That's exactly what I did though. It wasn't very hard. My imprint was near me and I would keep her safe.
This time, when I wake up it was to Embry freaking out. I don't know why, or how he even got in my room. I growled. He was going to wake Bella up.
"Dude, seriously shut up! She's sleeping!" I hissed, trying not to shake. Bella's head was still in it's spot on my chest.
He shut up instantly and looked over to me with a livid expressions. I could hear his breaths coming in pants.
"What did you do to her this time!" He snarled, baring his teeth at me. I put Bella down beside me, knowing I was shaking and close to phasing. I thought he was my best friend! Not anymore apparently.
I put Bella back in the same spot carefully tucking in the covers around her, hoping she wouldn't notice the temperature change. She needed to sleep this off.
I walked up to Embry and growled, pushing him out of room and watching him stumble to catch his footing. He growled back and I quickly walked out of my room, shutting my door as I faced my childhood best friend.
"What the hell Embry! I will never hurt her again! You of all people should know that. And plus, what has you so overprotective about my imprint anyways!" I snarled the words at him, clenching and unclenching my fists as I kept pushing him. Away from my room where Bella was sleeping and more towards outside. No way was I going to let him lose control near Bella.
"Maybe because I care about her enough not to hurt her! At least she has someone who won't ever hurt her. She knows that!" He growled at me, knowing those words would send me over the edge.
I pushed him down my stairs so he was on the dirt outside as I snarled and phased midstride, running at him. He stood up and phased into the smaller grey wolf that he had inherited form his grandfather as I rammed into him with my whole body weight.
I listened to his internal thinking, wincing as he threw how Bella got hurt from his view into my own thoughts and he bit my flank, catching me off guard. I growled and went to return the favour when another wolf's thoughts entered our thoughts. The alpha power coming from them clued me in that it was Sam. I went for another lunge, trying to get Embry back before Sam made us stop. I managed to get in a good bite on his stomach when Sam noticed that he was going to have to stop us.
'You two stop now! This is no time to be fooling around! Jared caught the red-head's scent about an hour ago and we need you both on patrol.' He had a command put on us and I felt the alpha timbre making me have to obey him. The only thing that was stopping me was my thoughts of Bella. She still wasn't well and I wasn't going to just leave her at my house by herself.
'She will be fine Jacob, your father is home with her. We need you to help us track her down though. I want this to be done today.' Sam said, stopping my thoughts. I just fought back harder, trying to gain control of myself.
'Sam, I am not leaving her. She got hurt because of me and now she has a fever. A really bad one and I'm not going to leave her alone with just my dad who is in a wheelchair! I'm going now!' I growled and phased back into my human self, quickly forgetting about Embry and our fight. Cussing when I remembered I didn't have a pair of pants. I ran into the house and in to my bathroom quickly throwing on a new pair.
For some reason, the alpha command that Sam had put down on Embry and I hadn't effected me like they usually do. I didn't feel like I was going to die, or the overwhelming need to do what he wanted me to. I just felt what I did ten minutes ago when I was with Bella, before Embry came into the picture.
I ran back into my room to see Bella curled into a ball, holding her knees to her chest with tear tracks running down her cheeks as more tears flowed down them. She was still shaking and she had bags under her eyes. I felt my heart breaking as I ran over to her side.
I pulled her into my arms and she buried her face into my neck, still sobbing. What had happened? I didn't know what to do, I mean, I came into the room to her sobbing. What was I going to do when I don't know why she was crying in the first place?
I started rubbing her back, cooing words into her ear, trying to calm her down. At first it had no effect and I felt panic, but then she started to ease into my embrace and all that was left were the unshed tears hovering in her eyes.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked softly, hugging her tightly to me. I was scared. Plain and simple. I was scared and I had no idea what to do about it.
She didn't answer for a while and I waited. I knew she would come to terms with it sometime.
"I thought you left me." She whispered, trying to get impossibly closer to me, breathing in my scent. I just hugged her even more tightly, making sure not to hurt her.
"Never," I breathed. It was a promise too. One I would make sure I would never break. She was mine as much as I was hers. I would hurt me to ever let her walk away from me, I knew that if she wanted it I would do it for her but I didn't have the strength to walk away from her. I don't think I ever would.
She started sobbing again and this time, I knew she just needed someone to hold her. I did just that as I waited it out. It was a good twenty-five minutes before she got her bearing and I never once let go of her.
She yawned again and I kissed her cheek.
"Still tired?" I asked her quietly. She nodded and I chuckled. I was too. Then I remembered the medicine. I made a movement to put her down and get up but she clutched me closer to her body, fear radiating off her in waves.
"Don't go. Please don't leave me." Her words broke my heart and I couldn't help but kiss her lips softly.
"I won't Bella. I will never leave you. I was just going to go and get your medicine from the doctor. I want you to get better as fast as you can. Now, what do you say about letting me go." I looked pointedly at the grip she had on my arms. Still only as strong as a normal human's and I felt a pang of worry grasp my heart again. I almost wished she did have the side effects of being a wolf now, she would never get sick or hurt- for very long at least.
"But Jakey, I don't want to have any cherry tasting stuff though okay. If it is I'm not taking it." She said, sticking her nose up in the air. I couldn't help but to kiss it. She giggled and got off of my lap, going to stand up but falling back down. I caught her before she could fall and placed her on the bed.
"What is it Bella. Are you still tired? Tell me what you want." I pleaded. I wouldn't be able to take it if I hurt her anymore then I already knew about. She put her head in her hands and blew out threw her nose. This just made me even more worried.
"I'm fine Jake. Just kinda dizzy when I get up I guess. Maybe I'll just stay here for now…" She trailed off and stuck her bottom lip out, pouting. I wanted nothing more then to go and kiss her right then, my wolf wanted it too. I didn't think she was ready for heated kisses yet though so I didn't take a chance.
"Alright. I'll be right back." I said quickly, moving impossibly fast to get her medicine and a glass of water, finding it on the table. I was back in less then a minute.
When I got back in my room I was met with the sight of Bella curled up under the covers glaring at the wall. I had to laugh, she looked like a mad kitten.
"What are you laughing at Black! I don't see you punished to bed rest here!" She yelled at me. I winced even though I knew she was kidding. I hung my head lower and nodded.
"I got you your medicine Bells." I whispered. Holding the pill out for her with the water. She laughed and I looked up at the quizzically. She looked amused.
"And your just gonna stand there? Come over here please, your too far away. And please tell me it's not cherry flavoured." She said dramatically. I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to cheer me up. I didn't want her to, I wanted her to focus on getting better but that was just Bells.
I walked over to her and gave her the water, stopping to read the label on the medicine. It said two teaspoons. I took the cap off of it and filled it up until it was at that measurement and gave that to her too.
"Your lucky, you got bubblegum." I said, trying to not to sound like my puppy ran away. I couldn't help it though, she would never be in this position if I wasn't for me.
"Ewww, that's even worse." She took the medicine from my hand and held it in front of her face, frowning and just looking at it like it was going to disappear. I couldn't help but laugh at her expression. She smiled.
"Finally, I thought you had lost the capability to do anything other then mop. Your going to end up killing my boy." She said and I stiffened. Did she really think that? "Just kidding Jake, really I'm fine." She went into a round of giggles and after a minute I joined in. she was right, I was being jumpy.
"Alright, but hurry up and take it. I don't like that your still tired." I said jokingly, hoping she would do what I told her to anyways.
"Fine! God, I wasn't kidding when I said that I don't like bubblegum though. It takes so nasty…" Her nose crinkled and I back tracked.
"You don't have to take it if you don't have to you know. I could go and get some new kind or whatever. I don't want you to have to take something you don't want to." I said quickly.
She laughed at me and I raised my eyebrow. She thought this was funny?
"What's so funny?" I asked her, confused and irritated.
"Nothing, just your so anxious all the time. Don't get me wrong I don't like it, but sometimes you just have to loosen up and all. I was trying to see if you would laugh with me. It didn't work… obviously." She said dramatically, and plugged her nose, raising the spoon of medicine to her mouth and more or less forcing it down, never letting go of her nose. I had to laugh at that and he face brightened so much. Have I really been that bad?
"See, it's not all that hard. And where did Embry go? He said he was going to be here today?" She asked me, her mouth forming a frown. I had to hide my distaste for the person she was talking about. I shoved my hands into my pockets to hide the shaking from her.
"I don't know, think Sam had something for him to do.. What is it to you anyways? What is he to you?" I asked, wincing when I saw her flinch away from me. I hung my head and brought my hands back out, knowing it wouldn't make a difference now if she saw them or not.
I rested my head into my hands and sighed. I felt really bad now. I just snapped at Bella for no reason really. I could just be looking too much into it. There was still something nagging me in the back of my mind though.
I heard her intake of breath and then again as she exhaled. Probably trying to get over her shock at my outburst. What had I looked like? To her I probably looked like I was going to kill her. I would never hurt her though, I hoped she knew that.
"I'm so sorry Bells, I would never hurt you. I've just been so frustrated these past few days, and then… then this," My voice broke as I gestured to her body. "Happened and I don't know how to handle it. I feel like I want to protect you from myself. Want to leave so you can be safe, but you'll be hurt if I do. I'm just so sorry. Tell me if you want me to leave. Please." I said, looking up at her, finding her eyes full of unshed tears. Il et my face fall back into my hands, pulling my short hair until it was painful. I just can't stop messing up can I?
"Jakey.." I heard her whisper. I smiled into my hands. That was what she had always called me when we were kids, just playing around and making mud pies. I looked up to her and she launched herself into my arms. I caught her and quickly made sure she hadn't hurt herself.
"Don't go Jake… please, I don't want you to leave me. And I'm not doing anything with Embry, we're really just friends. He's acting more of a big brother then anything else. I love you and stop beating yourself up. There's no need for it. You're not going to hurt me and you are protecting me just by being with me.
I hugged her tightly and nuzzled my face into her neck, surprising myself when I started sobbing. My whole body shook because of it, forcing Bella's body to shake too. I tried to stop but it was like someone had burst a dam in me and everything caught up to me in that moment. I felt Bella relax and mold her body to mine, hugging me with as much force as she could. I knew she was saying words in my ear but I didn't know what, I could only hear my sobbing.
It seemed like it took forever for me to stop but once I did I felt like a weight had lifted off of my shoulders and I just clung to Bella. Needing her support, and she gave it to me.
This reminded me of Sam's story. When he hurt Emily and how he reacted, and then in the end Emily was the one comforting him. I think I understood why he always strived to be calm now. I used to think he was too strict and didn't play around enough. I could relate to how he feels now.
"Love you too Bells. How about we get some sleep now?" I asked her, bringing my eyes to her level, waiting for her to nod. She just searched my eyes for a few minutes and I didn't say anything, and when she nodded I lifted her up and placed her into the bed first, covering her up and resting my hand on her forehead before laying down next to her. Her fever was still there but she seemed to be feeling better. Hopefully it would be gone by the morning.
I kissed her forehead and gave her feather light kisses to her nose, cheeks and eyelids, making her giggle and turn around so she was facing the wall but spooning herself to my figure anyways. I gave her another kiss to where her cuts were on her neck and wound my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me and sighed.
I could tell Bella was already asleep and I couldn't help but stay up for another hour, just watching her. There was no doubt in my mind, even without the imprint that I loved her. I always had, it was nice to hear her say it today.
I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent. Tightening my arms around her unconsciously, and slipped into my first good sleep in a long time.
Tell me if you guys liked it! Review please!
Firefox Shai
