A/N: Well this is awkward…. I'm not dead, you can all stop messaging me that -_- Just going through some crap… anyways this is from Marshalls view. Its actually kind of sad. I really hope you enjoy, and I am sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I will start updating faster. This chapter was especially hard to write. I just wasn't in the right mood to right it, but I got through it!
I remember being young. I remember when my mom use to be there. I remembered when I had a family. I remembered a lot of things, just none of them where here now. One of my fondest memories of my mom was when I was cradled in her arms.
"My little humming bird." She would always call me, as she patted my head and rocked me back in forth in her arms. "I'll do anything for you my little bird." Her words where always full of such meaning, they were never empty, I never once had the feeling that they weren't real. My mother was one of the only ones I had ever felt love from.
I remember the first day I had to go to school. It was preschool and the only reason I had to go, was because mom had to go to work. She could no longer stay home, because my dad had left us a few months before. I didn't want to let go of her hand as she lead me into the building. Unlike my home, this place was not peaceful. It was load and full of kids I couldn't stand. Even at a young age I had a very short attention span, and I couldn't pay attention in class. Even though it was just the alphabet, I preferred to bully the little girls who sat in front of me by pulling there braids, throwing those stupid plastic blocks they gave us.
Every day when my mom came to pick me up she had to hear from the teachers how horrible I behaved, and that I had no interest of learning. They also often told her that I would never be able to function in society, that there was something wrong with me. When we got home, my mom would sit me on the corner of her bed and smile at me, as she played with my hair.
"They don't know what they're talking about. My little boys a star." I would always smile. I was my mom's star, and that seemed like a big deal to me. Then as I got older, and I started going to elementary school, I saw my mom less and less. She told me it was for her job and she had to work long hours, but there was something more to it that I couldn't see at the time. She'd often come home falling over chairs. She was pail and her eyes where always red. She didn't ever wear short sleeves any more; she wore long sleeves, and always pulled them down. Even despite this, she would always tuck me in, and wake me up. It was always the first and last thing I got to see.
When I got into elementary school things got bad. I couldn't behave "right". I was always in the office, but unlike elementary and preschool my mom couldn't come talk to the principal. She was always too busy with work. My teachers eventually seemed to pity me, and whenever I did something stupid or ridiculous, they used the excuse "it's because he doesn't have a father, and his mom is always working". Maybe that was it, but I wasn't sure. I didn't know how normal boys acted, because I was never around them, and frankly I didn't want to be. Then there were the girls, who to this day never leave me alone. I'd never shown that must interest in girls, but they never cease to pursue me.
Elementary school was also when I met the Ice Queen. She was younger then, and she was still as gaudy as ever. I remember when I first met her I noticed her smell of too much perfume. I remembered saying she smelt like a girly skunk. She came to my school music festival; she was in luck, because luckily I was tricked into performing. My mom said that nothing would make her happier than me performing, so I signed up the next day. I had my cheap acoustic guitar, the one my mom bought me for my 11 birthday. I was so nervous because the only person I had ever performed in front of was my mom. I knew I had to, because now everyone knew my name was on the signup sheet, and I would get crap if I didn't. They called my name and I walked out onto the cheap wooden stairs that were literally 50 years old. I could tell because every time I moved they squeqed. Even though I hadn't talked to her yet, I could see the ice queen. Sitting in the front row, one eyebrow raised at me.
I sang a cheesy song, something that was to cheesy and stupid to remember. When I finished the first person I saw was the ice queen. She was talking to one of my teachers, when she saw me her face lit up.
"Hello darling." She said to me as she came up and pinched my cheek. "Are you not just the cutest thing?" Her voice was loud and obnoxious, and because I was an angsty pre-teen I had to hold myself back from stabbing her in the throat. "May I ask you where your mommy is?" I didn't know, and I didn't care to tell her. I looked over at my teacher who pleaded to me with his eyes to tell her.
"I don't know." And that wasn't a lie.
"Marshall's mom usually works late, I don't think she came." The words stung as they came out of the teacher's mouth. I was used to my mom not coming to things, but it didn't mean I didn't want her there.
"Well any siblings, grandparents?" That was an easy question. I had never met my grandparents, and unless my father was having babies with his new love, there was no chance I had any siblings. "How disappointing." She said at the look of my down face. "Well how about I wait for your mommy with you." I looked at the clock that hung on the side wall. My mother was always late picking me up. I was usually here till dark.
"Marshall would love that!" The teacher said to us. She quickly excused herself from our conversation, but not before she sent me a warning glance to watch myself.
"You're one very talented boy." Ice queen said to me. She sat down on a bench patting it signaling me to sit next to her. Against my will I sat next to her. Putting my hands in my lap.
"Thank you." That was the only polite words I knew.
"What do you want to be when you get older?" She put her head in her hands.
"A star." The wind blew and the ice queens sent went up my nose.
"Well what a coincidence, I make stars." She smiled wickedly. "And you kid, will definitely be a star." She pinched my cheek, when I tried to pull away she wrapped her arm around me. I should have been able to tell then that this lady was a lot worse then she seemed.
We waited for about thirty minutes making mindless chatter that didn't leave a very big impression on me, because I can't remember it. If I recall it was something about the weather. The night started approaching, and people began packing up things around us. No more students where left. The had gone hours ago with their parents.
"Well this is disappointing, a mother making her child wait this long. How sad." I was instinctively mad at this. How dare she insult my mother?
"That's right, I told my mother not to get me because I wanted to walk home." I lied. My mother would never let me walk home. We didn't live in the best part of town, and it was a good 3 miles away from the school.
"Well then maybe I should…"
"Well by then." I interrupted rocking off the bench and flying onto dirt.
"Wait!" She screamed after me and grabbed my arm. "Let me drive you."
"I don't think that's the best Idea. My mom doesn't like guest, she says no company is good company.
"Well I'm not just any company. Now let me drive you home." I didn't have much choice in the matter; she pulled me into her expensive bmw, and asked me where I lived. When I told her, she rolled her eyes, knowing exactly where I lived, and what kind of area it was. "Who builds a family there?" She said under her breath.
About 15 minutes later we pulled up to my mom's apartment. I got out of the car, and while I was in the midst of tell her goodbye, she always got out. "What room number?" She asked. I didn't want to tell her, but she seemed to be growing impatient. By the time I told her what number we lived in she was already half way up to the doors. I chased after her, not sure what she would find.
She politely knocked on the door, but after a few failed attempts turned it into a raging bang. No one came to the door, but that wasn't surprising. No one was home.
"Kid, do you have a key." I nodded, reaching under our floor mat and picking up a spare key. Of course that wasn't a safe place to hide it, but at the time it was the only place I could reach. I put in the key and opened the door. I was too short to see what was behind the door at first, but the ice queen saw. I heard her shriek, and as the door continued to open I regretted coming home. I wish then I would have stayed at the school, and waited. But I didn't.
On the ground right in front of the door I saw my mom.
Dead.
Her eyes where wide open almost purely red. Her arm was revealed and it was purple, a needle stood in her arm.
The next thing I remember is the police showing up and taking me to a station.
Then they asked me all these questions, like whom could I stay with? Lucky for me ice queen had her interest on me. She was willing to take me. And 2 weeks after my mom's death I was already in the care of another woman.
Once I started to stay with her she changed everything. I had to go to the best schools. I had to learn all these instruments. It was too much to handle. I didn't want to play anymore, but I had to because I was afraid she would kick me into the streets if I didn't.
I began to hate her. She was slowly making me hate my music, resent it. But even more so, I resented her. I hated everything about her. Her big house, her clean car, and how every time she saw me or I was leaving she made me kiss her on the lips. I hated physical contact.
I stayed with her until she did what she promised. She made me into a star. Then I was picked up by another record company. I was 13 then. She didn't leave me alone, she kept interfering in my life. Reminding me that she was the one I had to thank. I thought she was crazy, after all I wasn't the only boy who she had. When I lived with her, she had many other boys she was making into stars. I was just the one who got lucky. She began telling the public about my life, selling my life as stories in papers. It made me hate her.
When I turned 14 I forgot about her. Mostly because I had met someone I really cared about. Her name was lex. And even though I would never classify what I had for her as love, I had a large fondness for her. Lex and I where never separated. I told her a lot of things about me, things that no one knew, and I thought she was my best friend.
I was wrong.
After a while I never saw lex again. And soon after the things I told lex also ended up in the paper. The ice queen was sure to contact to tell me that lex was one of her interns that she used to get close to me. That's when I had it. I was done with this world, with these people. I hated women. They had done nothing good for me. They always just hurt me or left me. I would never fall in love. I would just make every girls life a living hell. I would break all their hearts if I could.
But then I met Fiona.
She's the definition of a game changer.
A/N : Hope you guys like this! Leave your comments! PLEASE I MUST KNOW HOW YOU FEEL
