Dymiyuki is Dannie (and Larry) by the way.

Bold = Hikari (Host) (Me)

Underlined = Dr. Dannie (Dymiyuki)

Bold/Underlined= Larry (Lights guy) and Alexander (A Guy)

Regular = Guest or other random person

Italics (can be bold, underlined, or normal) = Whisper or thought

Shigure and Hatori

Shigure: Well, you two should call them back. We need to see if they can keep their memories. Tell them today, but let me call the main house first to see if Hatori should come.

(At the Studio…)

Ring Ring Ring

Damn it! Where is my phone? Oh! There it is! Hello?

Yuki: Hello Dannie. It's Yuki. Um, I wanted to ask if Larry and Alexander know about our… secret.

No they don't.

Yuki: Ok then. Could you and Hikari come over today as soon as possible?

I can let me ask Hikari. Hey, Hikari can you go to Yuki's house with me today?

Hikari: Oh! So that's who called. Sure, nothing's on the schedule today anyway.

Larry: Um, yes there is, you were listing my ideas for the next show.

Right, ok Hikari, lets discuss the idea.

Hikari/ Dr. Dannie: Rejected!!!

Larry: Wait, why? I thought it was a good idea to do a show on the many implications of the word blah.

Alexander: Greetings people of Dr. Dannie. What are you doing?

Larry: We were discussing the next show. It will be on the implication…

Alexander: No! Nothing good can come of the word implication, when a boring person says it.

Do you even know what the word implication means?

Alexander: I have no clue but it sounds boring and, Larry said it, so it must be true.

Ok that settles that. Larry will never talk when we are trying to think of subjects for the show. Now, Hikari join me on my journey to the Sohma house again.

Hikari: Ok?

And we are off. Alexander, remember not to feed the moron. If you do he won't shut up.

Alexander: Ok, Dr. Dannie.

Larry: What do you mean, ok? I thought we were friends. How do you get off by letting her insult me?

Alexander: She hired me, and the insults are funny.

(At the Sohma house…)

Knock Knock

We came by upon request.

Yuki: Hi, please come in. We all need to discuss things with you.

Hikari: Ok.

(In the kitchen…)

Shigure: Now I wonder what will happen when there is a drunken Yuki a drunken Kyo, plus two drunken girls. Hehehe. I just hope it doesn't destroy my house. Here you go. I got you all drinks, aren't I so kind.

Yuki: What did you do to them?

Hikari: Tastes fine to me.

Hmm. It seems ok and it tastes great! Thank you Shigure.

(Later…)

Wait a minute! I know why this tastes so good! You spiked it.

Hikari: Oh no, not the fancy water again.

Shigure: What? You must be joking. Why would I do that to my guests?

Yuki/Kyo: Because you are a pervert.

Kyo: I'm going to kill you Shigure. Whoa! Um, maybe after I sit down for a bit.

The last time I was drunk I threw chairs out a window with Haru.

Shigure: NO! Not my house!

You should have thought of that before you got me drunk.

Yuki: She has a point.

Kyo: You're just saying that because you love her.

Yuki: No! I mean it he is a moron.

Hikari: Kitty!!!!!!

(Hug)

Oh great a drunk cat! That's just what we need.

(Later…)

Wow! Who knew we could all get sober in an hour.

Kyo: Is that even possible?

Hikari: Not really… Where's Google when you need it?

Kyo: Try typing, 'how long does it take to get sober?'

You're just pissed because, when you turned back, you got beat up by a drunken girl.

Hikari: No fighting! You're in somebody's house. Be polite.

I don't care. We aren't on the set, so I can kick his ass whenever I want.

Kyo: That wouldn't have happened if I was sober. Come on, try me now.

Yuki: You were fighting just like you do normally.

(Ding dong)

Hikari: Thank God, a distraction.

Yay more company.

Yuki: Coming! Hello Hatori. Please come in.

Hatori: You look well Yuki, are they the two girls you called about?

Yuki: Yes.

Hello my name is Dannie.

Hikari: Hi I'm Hikari.

Yuki: They are the girls that run the show Dr. Dannie.

Hatori: Doctor? Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?

Yes, yes I am.

Hatori: Ok then what kind of show is it?

Hikari: It is like a talk show but is seems to be mostly Sohmas coming on.

Hatori: You mean the one Ayame was on.

Oh! You're talking about the guy that tried to make us wear dresses. Yeah, he was on. How did you know?

Hatori: He calls me every time it is on. So I watched your show, but I never knew what it was called. So how long have you known about the Sohma secret?

Hikari: Maybe since Ayame came on the show.

Hatori: That was a few weeks ago. I guess you can be trusted.

Thank you.

Hatori: I am impressed with you two. Two girls can't usually create their own talk show and produce it.

Hikari: You know, you can be on the show if you want.

Shigure: I wanna be on it too. It's not fair that Aya and Tori got to go on.

Hikari: Ok you can both be on the show. How about right now?

Or maybe you need to get back to work, doctor.

Hatori: How did you know I was a doctor?

Your shoe's the knot it the laces is a knot commonly used by doctors.

Hatori: Ok… sure. I don't have to go back to work though.

Shigure: Let me just make a call first.

( In a different room)

Ayame: Hello?

Shigure: Aya?

Ayame: The one and only.

Shigure: Tori-san and I are going to be on that show.

Ayame: Dr. Dannie. Ah, yes when?

Shigure: Now.

Ayame: I will meet you there. Oh, Shigure?

Shigure: Yes?

Ayame: Don't cheat on me while we are apart.

Shigure: Why would I do a thing like that?

Ayame: Alright!

Shigure: Alright!

(At the Studio…)

Larry: Oh. You guys are back… with people. Does this mean we have to work today?

Don't be so rude you idiot, and if you already know you have to work why don't you get started.

Larry: Fine, you don't have to be so mean about it.

Also, Alexander, you should get back to work too… doing whatever we pay you to do.

Alexander: I'm mostly here for emotional support and comedic relief.

Great, then keep doing that.

Larry: EMOTIONAL SUPPORT!! You are only here for f***ing emotional support and you still get paid more than me?!

(Notice: Broadcasting decided we need some censors on set… if u see anymore ***'s go to the company and complain… if you can find out who runs channel 0000.)

Hikari: Oops. Did I accidentally write a bigger check for the guy who doesn't work?

Larry: I hate all of you people.

Ok, goodbye Larry. Have fun with the lights. Showtime!

Hikari: Before we start I have a request.

What is it?

Hikari: Requesting permission to insert subliminal messaging into the show at random times.

Larry: Huh?

Oh, you don't understand Larry. Subliminal messages are like advertisements that kind of brainwash people into doing things.

Larry: I understand! I just wanted to know why.

Hikari: Oh, well there are some things I want to advertise and to prevent our inevitable debt some people are paying me to advertise their products. Since we don't have commercials, I figure I can just insert them into the show.

Well I guess it will be ok. Just don't interfere with the interview too much.

Hikari: Great! Everybody take your seats. We are starting in 5…4…3…2…1 action!

Hello everybody. Today we have two more Sohmas. This is Shigure, and he is Hatori.

Shigure: Hi everybody.

Hatori: Hello.

So, Hatori, you're a doctor right?

Hatori: Yes I am.

Oh… What? A cue card? We never have those. Um, apparently you can tell me more about that while we hear a word from our sponsor. Oh wait, sorry, it's not really a sponsor.

--- You're show will continue momentarily ---

Like Dr. Dannie?! Well then you will love the website. The same amount of fun and double the hilarity. Plus chat with the doctor. Even ask your own questions for Dannie to answer. Website includes Hikari, Larry, and Alexander. Note: Larry is not returnable, he comes with the package.

--- We now return to your scheduled programming ---

Ok, so I guess we are back. I just heard all about Hatori's job which we don't have time to repeat for you. Let's move on to Shigure. I heard that you are a novelist.

Shigure: That's correct.

I also heard that you are perverted.

Shigure: No!

You are a perverted novelist.

Shigure: Absolutely not!

And your novels are all about perverted things.

Shigure: Where are you getting all this false information?

Let's just say I have my sources. Hahah-

--- You're show will continue momentarily ---

Buy our fish tacos. Now with added, processed, unknown meats and less real fish. Did it even have fish in the first place? Who knows! That's the best part, the mystery and adventure that comes with eating them. Also try our new Vegetarian Fish Tacos. Who the hell knows what's in them? Yay! Possible side effects include, but are not reserved to: heartburn, excessive perspiration and precipitation, stroke, heart attack, extreme drowsiness, disrespectful attitudes, loneliness, random outbursts, and feeling all possible emotions at the same time until you want to commit suicide.

--- We now return to your scheduled programming ---

Ok, I guess that means we are back again. Since the viewers missed almost everything, I think we should do a short recap. Would you like to start Shigure?

Shigure: Alright. So Hatori is a doctor and I am a non-perverted novelist.

You just keep telling yourself that.

Shigure: Oh and I'd like to make a shout out to Aya. Wish you were up here with us.

What? No, there are no shout outs on this show.

Shigure: Oh and why not make a shout out to my publisher, who loves me so much, and Akito too. He-

--- You're show will continue momentarily ---

BK now has a drive through and we are heavily advertising every movie that we can. Come to BK for your grilled burger and apple fries. When you go to pick them up you are required to tip Hank. He is the guy in the yellow poncho that will hand you your food. If you don't see him then your BK is broken. While you're here don't forget you're cheap plastic memorabilia that you will probably throw away or use as a dust collector.

--- We now return to your scheduled programming ---

Oh My God!!

Hikari: What?

You know what!

Hikari: Well you have to admit, that one was pretty short.

Compared to WHAT?!

Hikari: Um, the other 10 we have left...

That's it! Shows over! Sorry advertising people, we tried our hardest.

Hikari: Um, ok, it seems I have made her explode. More information for commercials is available at the end of the show.

Stop it! Well sorry viewers. We tried to have a show but the sponsors took over. Next time we will find a new way to get money instead of dealing with this CRAP!

Hikari: Dannie, the censoring…


F*** the D*** censoring. Viewers you better find out who the h*** does the censoring and ******* kill them. That and who the h*** want to listen to the ******* advertisements support the **** the advertisements and you can send us money if you want to put an end to all non-show related ****. GOODBYE!


--Producer's Note: Disclaimer: We do not own BK, or any movie memorabilia, and we definitely do NOT eat fish tacos… well Larry might… he probably does… he eats everything else in the world… any way – but we do own http://drdannie(dot)webs(dot)com Well we made it anyway, we never actually bought it. So… yeah, visit us, and don't forget to tune in weekly (or more like monthly, or just sometimes) for our show.