The days began to blend together as one. Each day the doctor came to give Ben the shot, from there the whole process would be a blur, and Ben would be roused from his dreamless slumber, only to see the doctor once again. The pattern continued for a while, until one day the doctor didn't come.
It was hours later, and Ben lay in the bed, in total darkness. Awareness brought him to consciousness. He opened his eyes, but he might as well as hadn't. It was as black as if he had his eyes closed still. He could barely see the faint outlines of the room, the bed, and the window suspended above him.
His awareness was foggy. Ben wondered if he was really awake or not, because he seemed to be in a weird sort of dream where nothing was real. He could see lights dancing before his eyes in the darkness and he could hear a voice speaking . . . What was it saying? It was reciting an odd sort of series of inspirational quotes. It seemed as if he had heard those quotes before. But where?
Ben closed his eyes again, sinking back down to the bed, continuing to hear the words like a chant in his own head. "God loves you as he loved Jacob"… He wondered when the doctor would come to see him.
"We are the causes of our own suffering…" It had been a while since he had been fully conscious like this. "Everything changes…" Ben wished the voice would stop as he sank back into sleep, feeling exhausted.
The morning was bright and lovely, but it couldn't have looked uglier from the events that were taking place. Ben chose not to go to school that day, he had to say good-bye to Annie for the last time before the submarine would leave to Ann Arbor, Michigan. Ben didn't get the chance to tell Annie that he had seen his mother late yesterday night. He knew that she would understand and that she would've believed him. He wondered what her explanation would have been. Annie was very smart, and she seemed to have an answer for everything that happened.
Ben felt hot tears in his eyes as he watched her walk away from him down the dock and climb onto the docked submarine. She turned and waved at him, the last image he saw of her face was of her sad smile before she disappeared, her head vanishing as she climbed down the ladder into the boat.
Utter disappointment filled him. He felt as if a balloon inside him had just been deflated. Ben wished dearly that he could have gone with her. Why hadn't he asked to go with her when he had the chance? He had been too frightened to say anything, that's why. He was scared to say what he wanted, for he was already sure of what the answer would be. Benjamin had missed his opportunity, and as the submarine began to take off, he deeply regretted not taking a chance because the opportunity would have never risen again.
Ben tried to console himself by telling himself that it wouldn't had worked anyway. His father would have never let him go away, would he? Besides, who would take care of him? What if Annie's folks wouldn't want him with them? Ben dropped his gaze to the floor, his sight of the green grass under his feet was blurred from his tears. What would he do now? The only person he felt could ever understand him was now gone. Annie had been like sunshine on a cloudy day, emerging only for a moment, before disappearing behind the bleak, dark clouds forever.
Ben had nothing left for him here. His father hated him, and now Ben understood why. He thought that Ben had killed his own mother. But how could that be? Ben saw his mother yesterday. She was here, on the island. He knew no one would believe him, they would say it was just his imagination. But Ben knew it wasn't, it had been the second time he had seen her, and if he could just find her, maybe he could find happiness. Ben wiped the hot tears that rolled down his face away with a flick of his hand, feeling annoyed with his lack of control over his life and his circumstances. He hated being a child and everything that came with it. The lack of respect he received from elders, and the compliance that he had to show them even though they thought of him as unwise and ignorant, treating him like he was an invalid, incapable of understanding anything.
Determined, Ben turned on his heel, returning to the house, to steal the new code that his father wrote down every night in a notebook that was on the top shelf of the small bookcase. He would pack his bags with some necessities and leave to find his mother. She would protect him. He just knew it.
"He's just a kid!" Horace Goodspeed exclaimed, slamming his fist down on the desk. "This isn't right, you can't do this!"
Stuart Radzinsky slumped back in the security chair he was seated in. "Actually, I can. I have permission from the DeGroots, what do you have?"
Horace scowled, "I have humanity, Stuart, humanity! And, What you're doing… it's- it's inhumane! This is a young boy, this isn't a criminal! This is against everything that the Dharma Initiative stands for! This is against everything I believe."
Stuart pushed himself up, turning to face Horace. He was silently intimidating, but Horace stood his ground. "This has happened because you were unable to confront the problems that you could have avoided by just a little strength and resilience. Do you think by ignoring the problem, it's going to solve itself? Nothing in the world is solved by sitting still. It's by taking action, and fighting wars that the world can find peace, that we can settle our positions on earth. It's not resolved by sitting by and allowing someone stronger than us, that are willing to go all the way, to take it for themselves."
Horace lowered his head, shaking it. "You're fighting the wrong war. Benjamin Linus is not the enemy, except of your own creation. We fight each other and we are divided. There may be an enemy, Stuart, but you shouldn't create them within."
Stuart scoffed, "Right. I suppose we should just invite them in, instead… Is that right? We should just stand by and let the hostiles conquer us? Because, guess what? We DO have enemies within us- they have placed enemies here, they could be here right now, they are pretending to be one of us. As far as I'm concerned, the truce is over. The hostiles have broke it, and we need to prepare to be at war."
Horace sighed, "Alright, you have made your point, but Ben is not a hostile. He is a disturbed child, yes. But he is also one of us! You're approaching this situation in the wrong way. Those tests you are placing Ben under… they aren't even proven! This is the psychology of a human, not an ape! He should be rehabilitated, yes. But not with mind drugs and white rooms, but by treating him with kindness, and by showing that he has a purpose and giving him the respect that he in turn can give to others. He's a child, he isn't a lost cause!"
Stuart sneered, "So, you're proposing that we just let him go? That we pat him on the head, tell him that everything is fine, and show him that there aren't any consequences for what he's done?"
"He's been through enough. He nearly died by releasing a hostile, don't you think that is enough consequence for his actions?" Horace asked. "He is a kid, he's-"
"NO!!- THIS IS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO!" Stuart said raising his voice and talking over Horace now. "And if you have a problem with that," Stuart said, his eyes gleaming madly. "You're just going to have to call Ann Arbor." He sniffed sarcastically, "But personally, if I were you… I wouldn't waste my time."
At that moment, two Dharma workers entered the security building where the two men stood talking.
"Radzinsky, Sir." Said the shorter of the men, who had his name labeled as "Jonathan". Jonathan exchanged glances with the other worker who had entered with him, his name read "Louis". The two of them looked frightened to tell the news to Stuart.
"What is it?" Radzinsky spit out huffily, looking impatiently from Jonathan to Louis.
"Well, you ordered us to go scout the hostiles with the information of their where-abouts given to you by LaFluer before he was put on the sub…" Jonathan began when Louis looked down, unwilling to speak.
"Yes, yes. What about it?" Radzinsky asked irritably.
"Well, See… Sir. When we went to the area, the hostiles had already evacuated the camp. They aren't there anymore." Jonathan concluded.
This news wasn't what Radzinsky wanted to hear, and the two Dharma workers edged back as Stuart pounded his fist against the wall angrily. "Where did they go?" Stuart barked out at Jonathan.
Jonathan shook his head with uncertainty. "I don't know sir. They left no trail. There's no sign of them anywhere. Jerry and Mike are still out there looking for the group, but it's like they disappeared out of thin air."
Stuart wrung his hands, thinking for several minutes as he paced back and forth. He then turned his wrath back onto Jonathan and Louis who were standing, rather huddled up together near the exit. "Well?" He said expectantly. "What are you still standing here for? Why don't you go make yourself useful?" Stuart said. "You-" He pointed to Louis. "Go inform the Doctor at the Hydra Station," Stuart looked at Horace pointedly, "-that he can now continue the treatments on Benjamin Linus."
A/N: Happy New Year to everyone! Thanks for the comments!! I hope you liked this chapter! Stay tuned for more!
