Hoi again. I'm here after a whole weekend or however long it's been. I haven't been counting.

I originally wanted this to mostly be about Grillby in the PTA, but this spiraled out of control and became more about Gloria. Also, Gloria's back again. Hooray.

Also, Grillby's not an active PTA member, so I guess I wouldn't really be able to do much with him. But forget about that, enjoy the story that took me two days to write!


Fire Mop Dancing

Gloria opened the door to Grillby's Up Top and shut it behind her quietly. Some of the customers turned to her and waved politely. It probably wasn't a good thing that Gloria was starting to become a usual at the restaurant. She kept her head low until she reached the bar and flumped down on her usual stool. Oh, great; she even had her own stool now. She sighed and rested her elbow on the dark wood and her chin in her hand.

Grillby, the dapperly dressed fire monster bar tender, cocked his head at her as if to say, "Again?"

Gloria waved off his look with her free hand. "Not tonight, Grillby. I just need a place to relax. Got any non-alcoholic stuff back there?"

Silently, Grillby walked through the fire exit and returned with a bottle of grape soda. He pulled a short glass from under the bar and filled it to the brim before sliding it to the middle aged woman. She gulped it down.

"What happened to me, Grillby?" Gloria began. A puff of sparks wafted slowly from Grillby's head like a deep sigh. "Just hear me out. I used to be young, with my whole life ahead of me, dreams and all that jazz. Thirty years later, I'm sitting at a bar owned by a literal hot head—" A shorter puff of sparks, like a snort of laughter, "—drinking a shot glass of grape soda and having a stupid PTA meeting to go to tomorrow. I just… thought things would be different, you know?"

Grillby took the shot glass and began to wipe it down with a cloth. Gloria reached into her giant purse for her wallet. "Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm not happy with some of the things in my life. I've got a smart husband, a beautiful girl… say, aren't you a father? That little green fire girl that goes to the monster high school is yours, isn't she?" Grillby nodded. "So you know how it is. You wouldn't give her up for the world, right?" Another nod. "Yeah…" Gloria sighed, looking out of the corner of her eye and imagining her ever excitable Mary. "I guess… I just thought I'd be doing more, not just be a stay at home mom, you know?"

It had only been eight o'clock when Gloria arrived at Grillby's Up Top, but it had grown later into the night and the bar was now mostly empty, save for a few monsters and the one-sided conversers.

"Let me tell you something," Gloria said suddenly. She set one hand on her hip and leaned casually against the bar. "Back when I was in college, I had a figure that wouldn't quit, and fancy foot work, to boot." Grillby stopped wiping the bar and looked interested, or as interested as fire can get. "Boy, let me tell you, I was the head of my class, got my major in dancing arts, everyone knew who I was as soon as I started moving. I just knew that as soon as I got out of college, I'd join a dancing troop, any dancing troop, and spend the rest of my life dancing the night away. Then I met Peter, and we eloped together, all the way down to the Ebott area before we finally settled and married. I figured that I'd make Ebott Town famous for my dancing, but then one thing led to another, and Mary was born. I love that child, but she was a lot of work when she was a baby. Peter had to be at work constantly to make ends meet, so I was bogged down with the baby, and the pregnancy had given me a good dozen or so pounds, and…" Gloria fiddled with her shirt. "I guess I just forgot how to dance. And now, with Peter going back to the college we met at to get a masters in architecture, I'm left to wait down here, wait for the check to come in the mail, and make sure Mary doesn't turn out wrong."

Gloria looked up at Grillby, who was nodding slowly with his arms crossed. When he noticed her looking, he pointed behind him at sign that showed the closing time of the restaurant. "Aw, geez, is that late already? Sorry Grillby. I'll be going. Thanks for listening to me ramble." Grillby nodded again and walked through the fire exit. Gloria picked up her purse and put her coat on. She sighed and looked around the dark and empty room. It was so late at this point that by the time she got home, she'd still have a huge headache in the morning. And, on top of every other problem I've got, she thought, I've got a headache magnet like nothing the world's ever seen.

She was about to leave when she suddenly heard a thumping sound. She quieted her breathing and listened carefully. It was a consistent thumping, and not so much a physical thumping as the vibrating thumps of heavy base music. She looked toward the fire exit.

Normally, people, especially humans, wouldn't be able to use the fire exit because they weren't made of fire, but the exit was left open just a crack. Stepping quietly and in time to the beat, Gloria made her way to the exit and peeked inside. Beyond the door, a brightly lit room and the sound of some kind of rock music seemed to beckon her to come in.

Gloria leaned further into the room and looked around, doing a double take when she saw Grillby. He was dressed the same as he had been before, and he was now mopping the floor. The way he was mopping the floor is what made Gloria jump. He gripped the mop handle with both hands and swept the mop head side to side against the floor, in time with the thumping. Also in time with the thumping, he would lift both of his heels and turn them to the side, then rest on them as he lifted the toes of his shoes, and keep going like that, changing from left to right every few beats. Suddenly the music would change, and he'd swing the mop around like a fire dancer and kick his legs out high and spin. Gloria gasped audibly.

Grillby jumped five feet and the air and dropped the mop, flames roaring wildly as he searched for the noise. When he saw Gloria, he quickly reequipped the mop and began to mop normally. Gloria continued to gape. Grillby kept mopping until he realized that his secret had been discovered and he lowered his head in shame.

"So the rumor…" Gloria said in awe, "that you work as a dancing janitor…"

"It's true," Grillby's voiced whispered quietly. His head lowered further.

"You're going to want me to keep this a secret, aren't you?" Gloria asked. Grillby nodded. "Alright, I will. But on one condition."

Grillby looked up at her in a way that seemed to bitterly ask, "Money, perhaps? Black mail, even?"

Gloria reached out her hand. "Hand me that mop."

Grillby looked incredulous as he slowly handed her the mop. The music was still playing. Gloria held the mop against the floor and cocked her head to listen, tapping her foot to the beat. From her foot, the beat moved up to her hips, and from there, moved to the mop, swishing quietly against the wood boards. Soon, she was shaking and shimmying around the room, swinging the mop around her, first like a dance partner, then like a limbo rod, then like a mop.

Grillby stood in awe of this human woman. Never before had he seen a human dance with such passion. Sadly, it couldn't last. The music finally ended, and Grillby clapped quietly as Gloria let out a loud whoop.

"I feel alive again!" she exclaimed, tossing the mop away and hugging herself. Grillby suddenly stopped clapping and snapped his fingers to get Gloria's attention. He pointed at a camera on a tripod that had gone unnoticed during the whole shebang.

"Sure, keep the video," Gloria said.

Grillby cocked his head as if to ask, "Are you sure?"

"Grillby, it's midnight. I'm a tired forty two year old mother who just danced for the first time in nearly twenty years and I don't know if I can even see straight because I'm so tired. Keep the video. Do whatever you want with it. I'll see you tomorrow."

Gloria gathered her things, waved goodbye, and walked out of the room and out of the restaurant. Grillby watched her go before he went up to the camera and clicked the stop button.

Some days later…

"… Normally, darlings, I would offer MTT Brand concessions to sell at the last junior soccer game of the year, but unfortunately, my company just got a huge marketing deal in Japan, and my snackage will be in short supply until a new equilibrium of production and selling can be reached." Mettaton EX tossed his hair as he sat back down between Undyne and Frisk at the PTA meeting. "I hate to disappoint you, dears, but it looks like I can't help you this time around." Frisk patted his arm gently.

"Hmmph," said Linda as she crossed her arms. "It's all fine to me. I wouldn't let my child eat any of your monster food, anyway."

"You're missing out, Linda darling," Mettaton replied.

"Yeah, punk!" Undyne said loudly. "His snacks are better than your brownies any day!"

"How dare you!" Linda shrieked.

"Order in the courtyard!" Flowey shouted angrily. "There will be no metaphorical food fights out here!"

That day, the PTA had decided in a rare unanimous decision to hold the meeting outside in the courtyard because of the lovely weather. Everyone had made a makeshift circle out of picnic blankets and ate their respective snacks as they watched the conversations bounce around.

"Okay, look," said Flowey. "If Robobo over there can't get us anything for the soccer game, then I vouch for the original plan of having Miss Tuffet and Lava Boy cater to the event." Linda raised her hand. "Yes, Linda?"

"This doesn't solve the problem of monsters serving food that could be dangerous to the human children. Why don't we get someone like—"

"Because Grillby's Up Top and Muffet's Parlor both offer human and monster food, and they're our best sponsors, and we've been over this for the whole school year: MONSTER FOOD ISN'T DANGEROUS TO HUMANS." Flowey smacked his head with a leaf. "Literally the whole school year, Linda. It's not my problem if your ears don't work."

Linda put a hand to her chest. "Well," she huffed. "Monster or not, I don't want my child to be served by someone who might be…" she shuddered. "A dancing janitor."

Murmurs went around the picnic circle. Mary looked up at her mom. Gloria suddenly raised her hand. "That's just a rumor, Linda. Stop trying to hurt people with stuff you hear on the internet."

Linda turned up her nose. "Well, I suppose you would defend one of your own, wouldn't you?" Some of the parents who hadn't known this information gasped.

Grillby had a privacy contract with his dancing troop that would keep his alter ego a secret, but Gloria had no such connection with the company. When Grillby had sent the video recording in to his higher ups, Gloria's dancing had been sent as well and was soon spread around the internet. This video clip of Gloria shaking it out had also reached the eyes of a few other dancing troops as well. Gloria smirked at Linda.

"At least I've got a job with The Huge International Fancy-Pants Dancing Company That Pays Big Bucks, and I've got a child who loves me instead of fearing me, AND I'm still with my first husband while you just divorced your third man."

OOOOOOOOOOOH, everyone shouted. Flowey whooped and pumped his leaves in the air. Mettaton kicked his hot leg high. Undyne suplexed a nearby picnic table. Frisk put on a pair of heart shaped sun glasses and made a thumbs up. Mary jumped into the air and hugged her mom around her waist. Linda's mouth dropped open.

And the glorious Gloria, along with everyone there, shouted:

"GEEEEEEEEET DUNKED ON, LINDA!"

Head canon I don't actually think #9: Grillby works part time as a dancing janitor. The company he works for has no name, and its very existence is a rumor, only existing on the internet in a hidden website. Being a dancing janitor, while unusual, is considered completely scandalous in Ebott Town and other small towns. Why? No one knows for sure, it just is. Dancing janitors definitely aren't strippers, though, so that's not the reason.


If you look up Grillby on Google Images, and you look very carefully, you'll eventually find this animated picture of Grillby dancing with a mop. I have no idea who made that picture, but I love it. That's the whole heel-to-toe dancing thing I was talking about earlier in the story. I think Grillby would be really embarrassed about it, and that culminated into the whole town's shock with the very concept of a dancing janitor. So scandalous. Why is he a dancing janitor? I think it's more of a hobby than a payment thing, though dancing janitors do get paid a lot.

Now, Gloria. The Huge International Fancy-Pants Dancing Company That Pays Big Bucks isn't a janitorial dancing troop. It's just dancing, period. Since it's international, Gloria gets to stay home and dance, the send video recordings in to receive payment. She'll also get to travel around the country during summer breaks to dance live. Mary and Peter are very proud of her.

Grillby and Gloria are good friends, mostly from Gloria's trips to the bar but even further due to Grillby and Gloria's dance night. On her birthday, Gloria comes to Grillby's afterhours so that they can dance with mops. When Peter comes to Ebott Town on his breaks from college, he talks dad troubles with Grillby, and they become good friend from there. Grillby's daughter, whom I don't know if she has an official name, babysits Mary sometimes.

So, what did you think? Leave a review, check out my other stories, and look at the poll on my profile page. I finally fixed it so it's visible now. See you later!