Shinobu, Ai Dake

Chapter 9 or "End of Shinobu, Ai Dake" Part 2: Resolution

By: Steve Jester

Notes Disclaimers and Bullshit: Like I said, just keep reading. I don't own Love Hina or an anime that I'll state later, but it should be obvious, and I don't own it.

I thought I woke up, a world of darkness, not unlike nightmares, surrounded me. I was visibly alone. "Hikari?" I said into the quavering darkness, "Hikari, I'm scared," I said admiringly, "I'm alone," I realized, "I don't like being alone. I hate being alone." I drove myself further into darkness, "I'm always alone, I drive people away."

"Do you?" a voice questioned. I turned around to face a girl about my age. She had bluish white hair and red eyes. Her skin seemed a few shades paler than normal.

"I've always been alone!" the horrible feelings I've been feeling all along boiling up to the surface, "I've been alone for most of my life! Here, school, Hinata apartments, everywhere!"

"What about her?" she said and then she extended her hand. A picture of Hikari emanated beside her.

I jumped, "Where am I?!" I asked frightened. The girl stood there as if she couldn't say. Then I remembered the bang I heard before I blacked out, the piercing of my back. "I'm dead, aren't I?" I asked.

"No, not yet," the girl answered, "You are in a comatose state in Tokyo Hospital. You have reverted to your subconscious thoughts."

"Yet?" I asked.

"Yes, you are dying."

I paused for a moment, I let that sink in. "If this is my subconscious," I said slowly, "then you are just a voice in my head."

"True, but I'm the voice that's going to help you live."

"If I'm dying, I want to die alone! There's nothing that can help!"

"Now see," the girl said sitting next to me, "You're dying because you're letting yourself die. If you change the way you're thinking, you'll live. I know you can find that will to live somewhere."

I sat there in silence, "If you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for her," the girl said motioning to the image of Hikari, now sitting close by, smiling.

I sighed, "Will you help me?"

The girl smiled, "Sure, I'm Rei, your guide."

"Just like one of my friends," I said.

"Are you guilty because of what happened to her?" Rei said.

I sighed, "Yes."

"And because of that it increased the feelings of aloneness that you felt as a child?"

"Yes."

"You felt that no one love you."

"My parents were always fighting, always complaining!" I yelled, "They didn't pay attention to me, or anything else for that matter!"

"But no one cares for you now?"

I didn't get a chance to answer, an image appeared in the background, more like a memory. It was Motoko, "… you care for many people, but some people don't return it. Just be yourself, and know that there are others that care for you, like me."

"She was saying that to cheer me up!" I said, "She hit me hard during training!"

Another memory played, "Shinobu, I want you to know that I will always care for you, there's nothing that can change that, not even you being a lesbian." The memory was of Keitaro.

I sat there silently. More memories flooded my mind, Hikari and I, our first date, the sweet nothings that she said. I was so full of angst at the time, I never really thought of them. The more the memories played, the more I realized that people care for me. "Rei," I said quietly, a tone of finality in my voice, "I'm ready. I'm ready to go back."

"You're already there," she said as I levitated into a white light.

I opened my eyes, to stare at an unfamiliar ceiling. A door opened loudly as someone came to me, "Shinobu!" a feminine voice screamed. Hikari flung herself on top of me crying for joy.

"You gave us quite the scare Shinobu," Keitaro said standing in front of everyone from the Hinata apartments.

"How long was I out?" I asked, wanting to know.

"Three days," Naru said, wiping a tear from her face.

"We're glad to have you back Shinobu!" Su said, standing next to Keitaro, a wide smile on her face.

"Hikari," I said, a small smile on my face, "I don't mind you being so close to me, but could you please get off. I'd like to breathe."

"Oh, sorry," Hikari said blushing. Naru helped Hikari back into her wheelchair.

"Guy's, could you excuse us?" I asked. The tenets left, leaving me alone with Hikari.

"Shinobu, I'm sorry. I'm the one who should be lying in that bed," Hikari said.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it," I said cupping her cheek gently, "If I didn't realize that you forgave me for my not protecting you, I'd be dead right now. I love you, remember that,, and even in death we'll be inseparable." Hikari's smile widened and she hugged me tightly. A bright ray of sun shone upon us. We were finally at peace.

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

This is not enough

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost

If I'm asking for help it's only because

Being with you has opened my eyes

Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how

I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out

Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me

Nobody else so we can be free

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

This is not enough

This is not enough

All the things she said

All the things she said

All The Things She Said

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed

They say it's my fault but I want her so much

Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain

Come in over my face, wash away all the shame

When they stop and stare - don't worry me

Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me

I can try to pretend, I can try to forget

But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

All The Things She Said

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

This is not enough

This is not enough

All the things she said

All the things she said

Mother looking at me

Tell me what do you see?

Yes, I've lost my mind

Daddy looking at me

Will I ever be free?

Have I crossed the line?

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

This is not enough

This is not enough

All the things she said

All the things she said

END OF SHINOBU, AI DAKE

AN: uh, uh, uh… you've still got the epilogue. I don't own the song either. Oh and if you didn't guess, the anime was Neon Genesis Evangeilion because of the use of Rei.