Forging the Heart's Desire

Chapter 9

That Khajiit had to be a sending from Sanguine!

It hadn't taken long for Alyssa to figure out that Balimund's and her behavior the night before was not normal. And with the still-full bottle of wine sitting as evidence of their sobriety, she knew it had to be the one thing they had never had before: the fondue.

Ahkari confessed that though Moon Sugar did not effect Khajiit in the slightest other than appeasing their love of sweets, she knew that men and elves had a much more interesting reaction to it. When she had told Alyssa that the fondue would 'whet their appetites', she hadn't meant for the meal.

Mortified, Alyssa left the caravan for the gates, berating herself. How could she be so stupid? Moon Sugar even sounded like a drug! She wouldn't keep this from Balimund. He deserved to know what she had done. The Breton just prayed he would forgive her.

Balimund was already outside, lining and inspecting tools. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire; mostly from humiliation, but also from remembering the things they had done. She had relived that moment over and over since she woke up. Drug or no drug, she had liked it. It was incredible. The smith had awoken something inside of her that she wasn't sure she could suppress.

"Good morning." The Breton had practically whispered the greeting, but Balimund's head whipped up. He stared at her. She didn't know what his reaction would be upon seeing her after what they had done. Would he be upset? Regret it even? Or would he want more? To finish what they had started. Mara help her.

The Forge Master came out from behind the anvil to stand before her, taking her hands in his. "Alyssa…" He paused, choosing his next words carefully. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. It was unacceptable. I promise it won't happen again and hope you can forgive me."

She shook her head, looking utterly ashamed. "Balimund, I have to tell you something. It… it's all my fault." Her eyes brimmed with tears. "It was the fondue. I put… there was Moon Sugar in it. I'm so sorry! I honestly didn't know that…" Her voice had broke towards the end, the tears spilling over.

Balimund pulled her against him, gently wrapping his arms around her. His chin rested on the top of her head as she buried her face in his chest. She began to shake, silently crying.

"Shhh… here now," The Nord uttered softly. "It's alright. Of course you couldn't have known, I know that. …Lyss, please stop crying."

The Breton's weeping had turned into sobs. How could he be so kind after all the trouble she caused? He continued his soothing ministrations, murmuring for her to be at peace. He kissed the top of her head, gently swaying them. Alyssa calmed down, reduced to sniffles and feeling embarassed at her own hysteria.

When the Dragonborn was out in the wilds of Skyrim, she was fearless. Her strength went unrivaled, taking down draugr, bears, trolls, bandits, atronachs, Forsworn and even dragons! You name it, she had killed it at least twice. So how did one man turn her into a weeping, shuddering mess?

...She loved him.

There it was. It would be foolish to try and deny it to herself when it was as clear as a flawless diamond. She had fallen hard for Balimund and there was no going back. This was complicated. She wanted this, all of it; but could she really have it? Destiny pulled her in every which direction until she didn't know north from south. How could she possibly make this work beyond a simple tryst?

...

He had never done this with a woman. These were not the actions of a man simply looking to sate his loneliness. His desire to soothe her, protect her; this went beyond casual courting. It would have frightened him if it hadn't felt so right. She felt so right.

Alyssa pulled back enough to look up at him. Even with red-rimmed eyes and tear trails on her face, she looked so beautiful.

"Bal-"

He silenced the Breton by capturing her lips with his own. His hand slid up to cradle her head, deepening the kiss. If he was trying to shut her up, he had chosen a great method. After a few glorious minutes he pulled back, needing air. He kept them connected by laying his forehead against hers.

"No more tears. You have nothing to be sorry for." She opened her mouth to protest only to be stopped with another toe-curling kiss.

She was beginning to like this game.

A throat cleared behind them. They pulled away, fully expecting an obnoxiously-grinning Asbjorn, only to find a stranger looking at them awkwardly.

"I have a letter for Alyssa Wulfe. They said it was urgent, but… I could come back later."

Alyssa shook her head, leaving Balimund's arms. She took the letter and tipped the courier. She broke the seal and read it, hoping futily that it was just a letter from a friend. Her face became severe. She read it a second time quickly, willing the letters on the paper to decintigrate into ash.

Of course. It had to be now.

Esbern and Delphine were summoning her to Sky Haven Temple. It seemed the old man had a plan for taking the fight to the World-Eater. Gods knew she had no desire to fight that black-winged demon any time soon. She was still having nightmares about their first battle at The Throat of the World, after she had recovered the Elder Scroll and learned the Dragonrend Shout. She seriously doubted if she could bring him down again; Alduin knew what she was capable of, and wouldn't make the same mistakes twice. Perhaps there was logic in Esbern's plan after all. The only way she'd have a chance against him was if she caught him by surprise.

Looking up at Balimund who had been watching her, her expression softened. Gods, why now?

"I… I have to go."

He nodded, looking grim. No doubt the guild needed her for something. As much as he hated her profession, he wouldn't stand in the way of what she felt she must do.

"When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure. A few weeks?"

Gods, what could she need to do that she would be gone so long? He nodded again, looking down. She cupped his cheek, looking at him with longing.

"I wouldn't go if I didn't have to. But people are counting on me."

He placed a hand over hers, squeezing it gently. "Go get your weapons. I'll sharpen them while you pack."


Brynjolf was leaning against a railing in the Ragged Flagon. A few of the guild members were celebrating another successful week. He had a lot to be happy about; business was good, Nocturnal was appeased, and the guild had never been stronger.

He sighed. His life was great, but lacking one great detail; a certain auburn-haired, blue-eyed Breton.

Where had he gone wrong? He was a highly desirable man. He'd conned many a girl out of more than just their jewelry. His charm? Fully in tact. So what in Oblivion did that bloody smith have that he didn't?

The door to the cistern opened and closed. Brynjolf had gotten quite good at being able to tell who was coming and going by the sound of their footfall. He recognized Alyssa before she came into view.

"Welcome back, Lass." The master thief crossed his arms, feigning indifference.

"Brynjolf." She nodded at him. "I've come to tell you that I've been called away. I need you to take charge until I return."

"Where to this time?"

"Sky Haven Temple."

The Nord stood up straighter, looking concerned. "Alduin?"

She nodded. Few people knew Alyssa was the Dragonborn, and Brynjolf was one such person. She had told him shortly after the 'Mercer Incident'. The Nord had asked her what she thought about serving Nocturnal for all eternity. The Breton had laughed and said the Daedric prince would have to get in line.

He had taken the news rather well. After a demonstration, of course. She would never forget the look on the thief's face when she had breathed fire to light a torch. He had started flirting with her after that. She had thought he was just being Brynjolf, but now she suspected he was attracted to her power, rather than her as a woman.

"Be careful out there, Lass." He leaned forward as if to embrace her, but she side-stepped him.

"Thank you, I will." She replied steely. When she made for the door, the Nord pulled her to him and seized her lips desperately.

There had been a time when she would have welcomed his kiss. Now it left her cold.

She shoved him away. Pulling her hand back, she brought it to his face with enough force that it echoed, causing all of the patrons of the Flagon to turn and stare.

"Don't you ever do that again." Her voiced was strained, holding back the rage she felt. Dirge made a motion to go for her, but one look from the Breton was enough to make him pause. She looked back at Brynjolf, the man clutching his cheek. It would probably bruise. Good.

"You loved me once. I know you did." He sneered. "What changed?"

"I may have been infatuated with you at one time, Bryn. But I was never in love." Her voice was strong and steady. She had to get it through his head that the two of them would never happen. The blushes and sighs she had given over him all those months ago did not constitute as love.

She knew what love was. It was Balimund.

"And I got tired of waiting. Now if you'll excuse me…" Alyssa walked away, this time no one stopping her. The crowd looked at Brynjolf, who cringed from the ache. They had all learned a very important lesson that day, but he most of all:

Oblivion hath no fury like a Dragonborn scorned.