Yo, been a while. How bout some updates? Enjoy my friends. And please, if it seems like its getting to oc friendly tell me. I'll increase the hardship and grungy stuff. I definitely don't want "This is my original character, he is best character with no weaknesses and all abilities cause he is how I want myself to be." Tell me if its heading that way. Enjoy.


It's a strange feeling, floating in the darkness. Not a sound to be heard nor a sight to behold. You can't breathe even though you don't have to. Nothing to smell, and the only thing you can feel is the indescribable pressure that's holding you back.

Did I die? I might have... Shame, I was doing so well at that life thing.

Through the darkness came a dull noise. Familiar but distant.

I guess there's no heaven... No hell either.. Just this..

The noises grew in pitch and volume. Words began to make themselves known.

"..Ok?... Attacked...Fishing..."

Why is it so noisy? That might get on my nerves in a couple of years..

The voice began to split, turning itself into two different people.

"What if he.. pull through?"

"We... the best we could."

Hey.. I know those voices...

The darkness around him began to shift and fade, turning slowly to grey and then to dazzling white. Seconds later Andrew opened his eyes.

The sight that welcomed him couldn't have been more confusing. Jack and Din were to the left of his bed, Bed?, having some kind of argument. That would have been fine had Jack not been strapped to a chair wearing what looked to be an asylum patients restraining jacket. The two were shouting at each other, which did not help Andrew's blossoming headache.

"WE NEED THE JAWS OF LIFE!" Yelled Jack from his captive position. Din's voice while not that of a yell was still louder than his usual self.

"What could that possibly help with?! He didn't get stuck in crushed armor! He just drowned!"

"LOOK AT HIM! HE'S CLEARLY SUFFERING! I don't want to see my friend suffer DIIIIIIIIIN! Just use the pillow, it'll be like going to sleep!" Din took a deep breath and started rubbing his eyes.

"I will sedate you... don't think I won't."

Andrew was still coming to terms with waking up again, but felt it best to step in.

"Guys.. what happened?" The two friends immediately stopped bickering and looked over at him before looking back at each other.

"HA!" said Jack. "I told you he'd make it!" With one swift movement Din stuck his foot under the front of Jacks restraining chair and lifted up, flipping the young man on his back with a squawk if indignity.

He quickly made his way over to Andrews side, pulling over a chair for himself.

"Thank Selesnya you woke up. You had us worried for a moment." Andrew looked around his new surroundings, taking in the layout. It was every bit of a small hospital room from back home, minus the machinery. Those were replaced with various magical counterparts.

"Din.. What happened?" Din looked away for a moment before answering.

"Do you remember the fight at all?" Andrew stared down at the sheets, trying to recollect his memory.

"Yeah.. Yeah actually. I remember the house falling. Then the skinny one died, and I stabbed the big one... Then it hit me with its tail and I went in the water... That's about it."

"Ah, well you see-"

"That's when you died!" Shouted Jack from the floor. He was trying with limited success to flip the chair onto its side. "Sailed off over the water cussing like a Rakdos bar bouncer, then you hit and went under." He finally managed one massive swing of his legs and flipped onto his left, facing the bed.

"Me and Din finished up the body builder and went to go in and get you. Cool thing though, before we did that giant fish came back up and spit you out on the roof top. How bout that animal mastery shit?" Andrew looked to Din for confirmation. "Really?"

The elf nodded, his amused grin returning. "Really. I don't understand why it didn't swallow you, but I wasn't going to look a gift eel in the mouth."

"Probably tasted like ass!" Came the reply from the floor. Andrew snorted before sending out another question.

"Then what happened? How did we end up here?"

"Ah, we found out you weren't breathing, your left side was a shattered mess, and your heart had stopped. I replaced the fluid in your lungs with air, bound your arm and jump started your heart with magic."

"And I carried you!"

"Yes, and Jack carried you."

It was a lot to take in. He really died? Just like that? But he survived in the end. Wait... oh this might be bad...

"Hey, thanks guys.. I really appreciate what you did for me."

"You're quite welcome." Said Din. "Just try not to make a habit out of it."

"No need to thank me man, we're bros. We would have been in a bad way if you didn't come up with the house idea."

"To be fair, we wouldn't have been in that situation if you hadn't forced your male bonding idea on us." Piped Din.

"I can still reach your elven shins from here..."

Their banter made Andrew chuckle. It was nice having a pair of friends as good as those two.

"So, how long was I out? And how long do I have to stay?" Din answered first.

"Just a day, we brought you in last night. As for staying, you can leave as soon as soon as you're feeling able. In case you haven't noticed, you're completely healed." Andrew gawked at him before hastily moving his arm around. Pain free, as if it never happened. Likewise, when he felt around his ribs there wasn't the slightest thing out of place. No pain, not even an itch.

"I love magic... Wait... Did you say a day? As in its Monday?" Din nodded.

"Awwwwww, Griel's gonna kill me..."

"NOOOPE!" Came Jacks reply from beside the bed. He had managed to get to his feet and was now walking crouched with the chair tied to his upper body.

"While you were snoozing this morning I took off for a run and stopped by your work. I brought him your sword and said you got beat up by freaks and drowned, but that you're better now. He was all like 'Hur de hur I'm a big tough guy that likes to intimidate people but I really care about my employee despite the gruff exterior.'" His voice deepened when he got to Griel's line. "Oh, and you have to work next Saturday to make up lost time, something about cleaning the forge chimney..."

"God dammit." muttered Andrew.

Sometime later Andrew found himself alone and relaxing in his home. He personally stopped by the shop to talk to Griel about what happened. The old man even asked if was ok after he told him the story. When he assured him he was, the tough boss face came back out and sent him off to scrub down Lizzie's pen. A quick stop to the bar was also necessary. Givanni was definitely interested to hear about what went down. He even gave Andrew a celebratory bottle of his favorite wine as a happy living present.

So now he played the waiting game. He died, that was that. Surely there's something in the contract about that happening. He reached over to the coffee table for his glass when a knocking broke the peace. Shortly after, another session of rapping upon his door bounced through the room.

"Yeah, just a minute!" He yelled from the couch. The human pulled himself up and made it to the door, wobbling slightly from his three glasses of wine. He opened it and came face to shark like smile of the man in purple.

"Evening son, I believe we have business to take care of." He said from the doorway. Andrew nodded, moving out of the way to let him pass inside. He looked back out to the street and did a double take. There was nothing but desert. No buildings, no people, just sand for as far as the eye could see.

"Might want to shut the door, the relic vipers are attracted to light." Came the voice from behind him. Taking his advice he shut the door, even putting one of the latches in place. Andrew turned to see the man picking dirt from between his nails and leaning against the wall.

"To the living room then." Said Andrew. "Care for a glass of wine?"

"I would thank you." They both took up opposite positions across the table. Andrew poured him a glass and corked the bottle.

"So.." He said taking a sip from his glass. "What happens now?" The sharply dressed man downed the drink in a few quick gulps before answering.

"Ah, Ravnica always makes the sweetest wines. Like liquid candy. Now to business. As stated in the contract, line 433, if contract bound client, that's you, would fall into a situation that leads to death from any circumstance they forfeit all memories and experiences received during their lifespan to date."

"Oh.. shit... Wait, I lived though!" The man just sighed and rested his knuckles against his cheek.

"Correct. Truthfully it's a loophole that I didn't think necessary to cover in our initial meeting. I expected you to piss off someone you shouldn't, or get abducted by Rakdos and cut into tiny pieces." His grin fell into a frown.

"But noooooo, you had to go and make friends that like you, get a good job and actually assimilate into this plane better than any foreign spy ever could." Andrew leaned back in his chair smiling a bit at the unintended praise.

"The death mentioned by the contract is.. for better terms permanent death. As in blasted into bits, lost your head, so on and so forth." Andrew spoke up now, gaining a little bit of confidence in his standing.

"So, as long as I don't die all the way I can keep going as if nothing happened?" The man let out a sigh of annoyance.

"Correct..."

"And that can't be changed in the contract?"

"All contracts are considered untouchable by the contractor or client for the duration of the deal. So no, it stays as is." Andrew poured himself another glass of wine, smiling as he did.

"Well then, here's to faking incompetence!" He drank deep, savoring the taste. The man looked bored, almost borderline annoyed at his behavior.

"Question though, why did you tell me about the loophole? Couldn't you have just went along with it and taken me away? I mean, I didn't exactly get a good look at the fine print."

The man refilled his own glass as he spoke. "How I wish I could have, but alas the contract prevents it. You see, most of that print was made by an overly intelligent person years ago. He actually trapped me in a contract about making contracts. He said I swindled enough people and it was time to make the grounds a little more even. So now it's mostly rules about what I can, can't and have to do."

"Bummer." Said Andrew through his drink. "But good for me." He finished his drink and placed the glass back on the table.

"Well then, if that's all I don't suppose you'd mind if I asked you to leave."

His grin reappeared, showing more of those unnerving teeth than necessary. "Not at all my boy, don't worry. I'll let myself out..." The lights in the room began to dim, and shadows began to crawl out from under the furniture. Andrews own eyelids became heavy, his body lost strength.

"Coulda... used door.." Was all he managed to say before he passed out.

He woke in the morning with a sore back and neck from sleeping in the chair. A note was left on the table under an empty glass.

Thank you for the hospitality and remember, don't die all the way! That would be such a disappointment to the audience.

"Audience? Are they're more people watching my life?! What the hell!" That's when he looked around the table in confusion.

"That dick stole my whole bottle of wine!"