Beeping of the ventilation machine awakened Shepard. It must have been very late because the sun had gone down and nearly no lights were on in the city. Looking to her right where the sounds were coming from Shepard found a sight she had dreaded. The man in the bed beside hers was missing his legs four or five inches above the knee caps. His face was turned from her but she could tell his whole head was bandaged. She sighed and began to look away in shame but a movement from the corner near the door caught her eye.
A little girl with blond hair sat in a chair that was huge in comparison to her own slim form. As Shepard looked at her the young girl noticed and did her best to fold her legs up into her chest and hide her face. She had met this little girl before.
"Sarah?" Shepard asked knowing she was right in the identity of the little girl.
Peeking up from between her knobby knees Sarah just looked at Shepard.
"Sarah, it's getting late. Are your mom and dad around here?"
She shook her head no and began to cry. Shepard frowned and got up almost forgetting the sensors attached to her neck. Ripping them off with ease she covered herself with her blanket and approached the seven year old but seeing the fear in her eyes at the close proximity of the large woman she simply smiled and sat on the floor at the foot of the chair.
"It's going to be alright, Sarah. I'm Lieutenant Shepard. Remember, I saved you from your apartment building and helped you and your dad make it to the shelter." With the last statement Sarah began crying even harder bawling very loudly in the small room. Helpless with children she was relieved when another woman entered the room. Recognizing the woman as the gray haired doctor she had seen ever so briefly before Shepard loosened up a bit. "I don't know what I said Doctor, but she won't stop crying."
Looking down at the two, both girls in her eyes, the doctor shook her head. "It's ok Lieutenant. Come on Sarah it's midnight snack rounds and I bet Brun in the commissary down the hall has some pudding for you. You remember Brun don't you?"
Sarah wiped some of her tears and nodded her head as she scooted out of the chair and plodded down the hallway. Following her with their eyes the doctor said, "It's sad. You make all the effort and you can't save everyone."
Shepard blanched from the sudden realization, "Doctor, did her parents die in the raid?"
The doctor looked back at her and shook her head, "No, they managed to pull through that ordeal. They were relocated to an apartment building near the heart of the city the night after the attack because of structural damage to their own… there was some sort of electrical fire. Sarah was in the children's shelter for psych trauma when it happened, poor girl." Pausing for a moment the doctor looked Shepard's way and said, "You need to get back in bed, Commander Shepard, otherwise those sensors aren't going to do us a lot of good."
Downhearted and discouraged Shepard climbed into the uncomfortable bed, "I guess you get a lot of broken families, Doctor. Working in your line of work that is…"
"Not really. I see my share of dead soldiers aboard the Agincourt but I never have to deal with their families. That's usually the CO's job."
The statement struck Shepard as odd so while the doctor was reattaching her sensors she asked, "So you aren't normally stationed here, Doctor?"
A smile met her own wondering look, "No, I'm normally posted with Captain Anderson. He asked me to oversee your treatment while we are still in dock. He seems to have taken a shine to you. The Captain has been studying your service record since we landed. So I guess I'm here on a personal favor. My name is doctor Karin Chakwas and I'm really proud to be able to help heal the hero of Elysium."
An exasperated sigh escaped Shepard's lips as she lay back in her bed. "Is that what they are calling me? Some hero…"
"Commander, you saved over 98 percent of the colonists with 11 marines, no armor, and only the guns they dug up from that antiquated shelter against a full battalion of batarian mercenaries who were fully armed and armored. I'm pretty sure you're a hero."
Looking away from the doctor towards the lights of the city Shepard shook her head. "I couldn't save my commander. I couldn't save that little girl's parents or my friend's legs and those other two percent…"
"You did what you could and almost died doing it so I'd be proud if I was you. I know it's hard losing people but sometimes you have to believe you did the best you could and from all accounts you did." The doctor seemed almost angry at her insinuation that what she had done was not enough so Shepard made a weak smile.
"I guess you're right, doctor Chakwas. It's just… it's hard to not see the things I could have done."
For long moments doctor Chakwas stood at her bedside in silence. It was a cleansing sort of hush between the women filled only with the continuous whoosh of the machines hooked to Tyler.
"I'm sorry for my outburst, Commander. I understand the feeling of survivors guilt… I… just please try to think about the positives you were able to accomplish," and with that she was gone from the room. Leaving Shepard with only her thoughts and the steady rhythm of the ventilation machine that her younger friend now had to have to survive she began to weep for the dead and those yet living.
"Shepard…" It was a quiet voice but it was unmistakable.
"Tyler?" she turned towards him and caught eye contact with him through the gauze. The right side of his face was completely covered all that remained of his hair stuck up in tufts through layers of covering. He had pulled his mask off revealing the sever damage to the flesh on his cheeks and jaw. "It's good to see you awake."
Tyler began to chuckle just a bit as he said, "You know I should probably get you to stop calling me that."
Puzzled and curious she asked, "What?"
"My friends all call me by my middle name. We had seventeen Tyler's in my grade so I'm really Kyle to everyone… everyone but my parents and Harry," she could see the downturn of his mouth out of the edge of the gauze but instead of letting him feel sad she decided another approach.
"You really should have told me earlier. I've been calling you Tyler so long I'm pretty sure I can't stop." It was a gamble but it paid off the down turned corner of his mouth lifted up turning into a smile as he quickly answered back.
"I'm pretty sure you will once they all come to visit and you can't keep us strait."
"Well I'll only do it as a favor to you. You did save me from taking that grenade. Nice use of your barrier, though I should have warned you that biotic barriers are mostly useful on very fast moving objects. Things going a bit slower just pass right through… like shrapnel."
"Yeah I guess I could have learned that lesson sooner… I'm just slow to re-act I suppose. Must be my bad teacher."
"You'd make a lousy soldier, depending on your commanding officer to teach you things. Their job is to order you to learn it and for you to find a way how."
Their good natured teasing went on for a few more moments until Sarah came into the room and climbed into her brother's bed. This signaled the beginning of bed time for everyone. Shepard still lay awake long after the lights had lowered but she was comforted by the sound of the unused ventilator and the unabashed snoring of the young girl.
The next morning the sun rose over the ocean as Shepard leaned back in her bed. Her eyes barely opened when they wheeled her companion away. It really was difficult for her to start calling him Kyle but she knew she would be able to soon especially with the way he winced when she called him Tyler. It reminded her of when she was pulled from the ashes of Mindoir. She had been quick to cut her own moniker for the mere recognition of her last name. She was thinking of this and looking out her window as a very official looking man walked through her door. Out of the corner of her eye she caught the sight of his dress blues and turned to face him. His face was crisscrossed with scars and his hair which was plainly at one time a light color was now grey with a salt and pepper finish. Many men waited outside turning their back to the clear glass walls as if to provide privacy. Finally sleepily focusing on the man she recognized him and then remembered the number of bars on his uniform and saluted firmly.
"Admiral Hackett"
"At ease, soldier," he said in a husky but clear voice. The admiral stood at the edge of her bed and looked down at her in an official way, not in the friendly way the captain had the previous day. "Shepard I'm here to give you good news. You're to be awarded the Star of Terra. We'll hold the ceremony three weeks from now on Arcturus. I expect you in your dress blues and as well recovered as possible. The politicians want a good face for this, a strong face after all this… disaster."
Obviously waiting for an answer but not getting one he stood with his eyes dead locked on Shepard's stunned face. "I… I… Yes, sir but isn't there some one better suited? Brabson held the civilian shelter… Davis came up with the way to contact the fleet." Anyone, she thought, anyone but me.
Shepard might have imagined it but she thought a small smile formed in his face before it returned to it's normal stoic position as he said, "I'm not pinning a damn medal on a woman who needed medigel for a single bullet wound or a man who knew his way around so many smut sites he could anticipate what our soldiers would take notice of. I'm pinning this medal on the woman who climbed an AA tower and rerouted one of the guns to fire on one of her own positions to make sure that the enemy got what they deserve all while a seven inch piece of metal was buried into her lung only a nanometer away from her heart."
The pride in his voice was very obvious to Shepard and even if it wasn't she couldn't fault him for his decision. "Well then… Yes, Sir. I will be ready and in dress blues for the ceremony."
As the Admiral turned to leave he turned his head to say, "Oh and Commander, well done soldier."
