A/N: Pay close attention to Morgause's words and see if they seem at all familiar to you. :D
Chapter 9: Truth and Lies
(Set after 2x12 and during 3x01)
Morgana woke up screaming. It seemed that, nowadays, she always woke up screaming
She looked around, wide-eyed to find herself in a grey stoned bedchamber; darker and plainer than the one she was used to, but fairly luxurious all the same. She was still sobbing - fighting with the images of her nightmare, uncertain what was real and what were visions - when she found herself enclosed in a reassuring hug; warm arms wrapped around her, reassuring words whispered in her ear.
"It's all right, it's all right. I'm here. I'm here."
Half expecting it to be Gwen, Morgana noticed blonde hair on the edge of her vision and pulled back surprised. "Morgause?" She blinked. "W-what happened?"
"You were poisoned," the lady replied, her voice steely.
"No..." There was a memory there, just out of reach but, it couldn't be true, it had to have been a vision.
"My darling, you've been so courageous but you're not alone now. You never need be alone again. I'm the only one you can trust. I'm all you have left in the world."
Another memory tried to make itself known but again Morgana shook it away, "No..."
"Forgive me. I had no idea how cruel they all were to you. I thought it only Uther that hurt you. I had no idea that Arthur was so against you too."
"Arthur? No … He cares for me. He and Gwen and … Merlin..." She frowned, suddenly uncertain.
"That dark haired servant? He was the one that poisoned you, Morgana. He planned to kill you so that he could bribe me. He sacrificed your life for that worthless king's."
"No, he wouldn't. Not Merlin." Fresh tears started. "No..."
He loved her. She had loved him. Memories of their time together in the secluded valley returned with force. Her name on his lips as he kissed and touched her, as he made love to her. Had that all been an act? Had it truly meant nothing to him?
"But I brought you back with me, brought you back from death," Morgause continued proudly. "Here you are with your true kin, Morgana. Here you are safe."
"Not Merlin," she repeated as more images slammed into her mind. His weak smile as he offered her the water skin. His tear filled eyes as he turned around and watched her struggle for breath. His warm arms as he pulled her to him, holding her as she died. "No..."
Morgause frowned, her look suddenly suspicious. "What is this boy to you?"
"He's my … friend. I trusted him."
"Those without magic can never be trusted. They do not understand us, not truly. This Merlin knew about your ability?"
"Well yes, but..."
"Then you have your answer. Do not believe he was your friend, Morgana. Do not think he could ever care about someone with magic. How could he hope to understand what you are going through, the trials you have suffered."
"But he helped me," Morgana insisted. "He was the only one who listened. The only one who cared."
"And yet he sacrificed you in a heartbeat. Sacrificed you for Uther."
"No, he wouldn't have." She felt fresh tears threatening. "Why would he?"
"What is his role, this Merlin?"
"He's Arthur's manservant."
"Then it is obvious. His duty is to his master and Arthur's duty is to Uther. The boy would have done anything to protect the king on the prince's orders. Even if that meant sacrificing you."
"But they were afraid and ill. Everyone was asleep and they were... I think..." She frowned and stared up at the sorceress. "Why were they all asleep?"
"I meant none of them harm I promise you. Only Uther," Morgause reassured her. "Just as I said. I promised you that I'd kill him and then all would be right in the world."
"But, they were all so sick and afraid," she argued, unconvinced. She herself had been terrified when everyone had become ill.
"I only put the others asleep to keep them safe," Morgause insisted. "Whilst in that state the knights would not harm them. They would only attack those that were conscious. Those that tried to stop them from reaching the king."
"You would have left Arthur alive?" she asked, unconvinced.
"Of course," Morgause replied brightly.
"Yes, of course but, if you'd just explained beforehand, then I would..."
"...come and dine with me, Morgana. Eat. Food always makes me feel better."
"I'm not hungry."
"Anything you want, you can have. I'll give it to you," she pushed.
"Why?"
"Because we are kin, and not just because we share magic." Morgause smiled gently, taking her hands. "We also share a mother."
"What?"
"I know you felt it. I know you felt the connection between us."
"You're my sister?" she gasped.
"Yes, Morgana and so, you see, you really are home now. You can forget all about your life in Camelot as Uther's ward. Forget about those who pretended to care about you. Forget Arthur, Gwen and Merlin. They do not have magic, they do not understand."
"Perhaps, but..."
"Right now though you need some rest, some proper rest."
"Yes..."
"Then we will eat and then I will start to teach you."
Morgana blinked, confused. "Teach me?"
"How to use and control your magic."
Morgana suddenly smiled broadly, all her other concerns forgotten. "You will?"
"Of course. I am the only one who truly cares about you, the only friend you have left in this world. For you, sister, I will do anything."
One Year Later
It was time for Morgana to return to Camelot. Time to play her part in Morgause's plan. Time to seek revenge on all those that had wronged her. Uther, Gaius and Merlin must suffer for the very real harm they had caused her. Even Arthur and Gwen were to blame for their neglect of her. They may not have actively harmed her as the others had, but they had started to pull away, not attempting to understand what she had been going through and, if they did know - if they knew exactly what she was - they would have abandoned her in a heartbeat. Look what Merlin had done when he had found out the truth.
No, she cared for none of them now. From now on, everything she did was for herself and for Morgause.
Morgana's resolve faltered as soon as she set eyes on him though. On Merlin. She had tried so hard to forget about their times together but he often appeared in her dreams and visions which was making the task much harder than she'd hoped. He looked scared – as well he might. One word to Uther and he would hang for what he had done to her. It was a reassuring thought – knowing she had that power over him now. Knowing that he could not harm her again for all sorts of reasons. Somehow she'd find the strength to get through this but first … First she had to convince him that she had forgiven him. First she had to pretend that she had not changed at all.
~o~0~o~
"Merlin. I want to speak to you. I know what you did. You tried to poison me."
He moved back towards her cautiously. "I didn't want to." He looked terrified.
"It's alright, Merlin. I understand. You were just trying to protect your friends, I would have done the same."
"Really?" He blinked but Morgana knew he wasn't fully convinced yet.
"I was so naïve, Merlin. I don't think I really understood what I was doing. But, believe me, I have seen the evils in this world. I have seen first hand what it is that Uther fights against. You don't know how much I regret everything that I've done. I just... hope that you can forgive me."
His expression softened and, against her better judgement, her heart skipped when she saw it. "I am so sorry for everything you've been through. It's good to have you back."
He smiled then, her heart gave a jolt and she inwardly cursed herself for the reaction. She had to do this, even if she now realised that it wasn't going to be as easy as she had convinced herself or her sister. Merlin was the one that knew her the best; in every way but, if she could fool him, then she could fool anyone. She stood up and walked slowly toward him.
"Morgana, are you sure you're strong enough? Perhaps you should..."
"Plenty of time for rest," she replied as she walked past him and checked the slightly open door to make sure that Arthur really had left. She turned back and found her resolve nearly faltering as she looked at his face; his eyes still wide eyed and nervous. Her heart was beating faster again, just looking at those blue eyes, those cheeks. Everything about him reminded her of their time in the valley. She moved closer and threw her arms around his shoulders and he responded by hugging her back. So warm, so tempting and, before she had even made a conscious decision to do so, they were kissing. There was passion there, certainly, but he was being gentle; oh, so tender and careful and it was wonderful in so many ways...
No! She must not let herself fall for him again. She couldn't afford to.
"I missed you," she whispered. One part of her hating that she was actually telling the truth as she said it. "I missed … this."
"Yes," he agreed. "It broke my heart what I had to do, Morgana. If there had been any other way..."
"Hush, Merlin. Everything is all right now. I forgive you."
~o~0~o~
"My sister. How have you fared?"
Their latest abode was one of the least luxurious they been in during the last year but it was shelter enough and Morgana realised that she felt at home simply because Morgause was here. Her only friend. The one who had saved her in more ways than one. "Camelot has welcomed back its daughter with open arms," she declared.
"Uther does not suspect?"
She scoffed at the suggestion. "He laps up my lies like the snivelling dog that he is."
"And the boy?"
Her heart missed a beat as it always did when she thought of him. She would be strong, she would not allow even her sister to know just how much he had once meant to her.
"Merlin? He believes I've changed. And he's right. Soon he will see exactly how much."
And, until that time, she planned to have a great of fun with him. Planned to break his heart just as much as he had broken hers.
"You've done well." When Morgause praised her it felt as if she was the strongest woman in the world. It felt as if she could achieve anything she wanted. "The tears of Uther Pendragon have only begun to fall."
~o~0~o~
Next time: Merlin is initally relieved and delighted when Morgana forgives him, but he soon starts to worry that she's up to her old distraction tricks again.
A/N: To me, it always seemed obvious what happened to Morgana in the Series 2-3 gap but I suppose I can understand why some wanted to show more. Well, anyway, this chapter is a brief glimpse into what I believe happened during that time.
After watching The Dark Tower, I was quickly convinced that Morgana had got the idea of how to turn Gwen from her own experience with Morgause. Saying that, in this first case, there was no need for any enchantments or mandrake roots to convert Morgana. Morgause simply needed to play on all the fears the girl already had in order to convince her that everyone in Camelot was her enemy, not just Uther. This, for me, explains why she's against Arthur and Gwen in S3. Morgause turned Morgana against them, just as Gwen was turned against Arthur in S5, even though there was no genuine reason for their fear in either case.
Thanks for all your lovely reviews and comments. Had to prepare to go back to work last week and haven't written a thing as a result. (Good job I'm always a few chapters ahead!) Hopefully will start getting back to some serious writing later today. Feel free to keep an eye on my PP for updates.
17/4/13
