Shiloh County Hospital 2004
"I'm not going to kill the reaper," Buffy said trying to sound confident. "I'm going to make a deal with it. I'm supposed to be dead, anyway. I'm going to ask the reaper to take me in Dean's place."
"No. Absolutely not. Think what that would do to Dean." John was stunned by her offer. He silently berated himself for keeping her and Dean apart.
"But I," she stopped. Consumed by her regret, she couldn't speak for fear of crying, and she refused to cry in front of John Winchester. "I have to do something," she choked out.
"You've done plenty." John tried to reassure her. "Just getting a specialist to look at him is more than I could have hoped for. You lead him back here, and let the doctor do his job. Dean will want you to be waiting for him."
Buffy swallowed her fears and nodded. "I'll tell you what happened when we're done."
"Dean's a fighter, Buffy. When you guys worked together, you always came out on top. This will be no different."
Sunnydale 2000
Buffy would let Dean kiss her neck forever if he wanted, but the man never stopped there. He could turn her into a whimpering needy mess in mere minutes. Buffy loved that once was never enough with Dean. When they were both finally sated, they rested in each others' arms and Buffy reflected on just how much she loved Dean. It wasn't just the mind blowing sex, it was the way he made her feel safe and loved; like she was the most important thing in his world. She truly did trust him with her life. She knew he would always fight for her, always be there for her when she needed him. Buffy felt completely consumed by how much she loved him.
Dean's fingers drew a lazy pattern on Buffy's side as he held her. Feeling her relax against him, he whispered, "I love you so much, Buffy." He held her tighter as she nuzzled against him, smiling to herself. She knew he thought she was asleep, making his admission mean that much more to her.
As Buffy listened to what Sam and Willow learned from the computer disks she became nauseous. Defeating Adam seemed impossible especially since the Initiative was blind to how dangerous he had become.
Buffy rubbed her temple. "So, the only way to stop Adam is to remove his uranium powered heart? How am I supposed to get that close?"
"Good question. With that army of demons and monsters in there, you'll be lucky to live long enough to see Adam." Anya was oblivious to the looks that comment earned her.
Sam did not want to admit that Anya was right, but she did make a good point. "It's like he's building a Trojan horse. If Adam gets to the laboratory, he can control the cell locks. All the creatures without chips could be released at once and the people will be locked in with them."
That was enough for Buffy. There was no way she was going to live through this fight and there was no way she would endanger her friends. Her stomach turned again.
Willow could tell Buffy was getting nervous. "Maybe there's a paralyzing spell we could do," she suggested hopefully.
"Right, we paralyze Adam, and Buffy can stop him," Tara said and all heads turned to Giles.
"I think there is a spell like that," Giles replied going to his shelves to rifle through his books.
"Sam, is there anyway you can override the control of the locks from the outside?" John asked.
"Not that I can see, Dad. Maybe if I had more time."
John nodded. "I may not be able to keep the creatures in their individual cells, but I know of a way to prevent them from leaving the facility." He looked at Dean and Xander. "I'm going to need a couple juvenile delinquents to spray paint some graffiti. You two up for it?"
"Yeah, of course. What do we have to do?" Dean answered.
"I'll give you some symbols. You copy them exactly onto to the area outside the doors."
Giles interrupted them by announcing he had found the spell. "There's only one problem, the spell is in Sumerian."
"And you don't speak Sumerian," Dean said, finally beginning to feel anxious for Buffy.
"No, of course I do," Giles corrected. "This incantation requires a great deal of power, more than I have, and moreover, you'd have to be within striking distance of Adam before casting it."
"Too bad you, Tara, and Willow can't magically combine with Buffy to make her the uber witch," Xander said nonchalantly.
Giles began to smile. "But we can. It's powerful," he paused and looked at his slayer, "we can channel great power to you, if Tara and Willow agree to work with me." The two witches smiled their consent. Then Giles turned to John. "This means the three of us will not be able to help you stop the other demons. I trust you can contain them with your devil's traps."
"You super charge our slayer. We'll take care of the rest." John's confidence was contagious.
Dean grinned at Buffy. "See, baby, nothing to worry about. This is going to be a cake walk."
Buffy forced a smile. "Love your Kamikaze attitude."
Hours later, the plan was set into motion. Sam and John each took a tunnel, painting sigils and laying salt lines. Dean and Xander did the same in the other tunnels and continued to the Initiative. Buffy and her team of witches, broke in through Lowell house.
As Buffy and her team made their way to a room near lab 314, they noticed Adam had killed or maimed several Initiative members.
"Buffy, stop, what are you doing here?" Forrest demanded.
Buffy rounded on him. "My job. Stay out of my way if you want to stay alive."
"Buffy, you don't know what you're up against. This creature -"
"Adam is a part human, part demon, part cyborg hybrid. Created by this facility to be the perfect killing machine."
Forrest's mouth fell open at Buffy's definition.
Buffy smirked. "Demons are my area of expertise. You will let me through."
"Sorry, I have my orders." Forrest's face twisted into an evil grimace. He aimed his semi-automatic rifle at her.
Unimpressed with his show of power, Buffy tore the weapon from Forrest's grasp and butted him in the face, knocking him several steps back. From another door, Graham and other Initiative members entered the room. Graham put up his hands, "I don't want trouble, we just want out. The security system failed. The cell doors have unlocked and it's only a matter of time before those things break through the barrier put up by Sergeant Harris."
Buffy's lip twitched into a smirk. "By all means, get out while you can, and take him with you," she said pointing to Forrest. Then she put a hand to Giles' chest. "There," she pointed. "Use that room. According to Sam, Adam should be in the lab, doing upgrades." Buffy shuddered to think what those upgrades would be.
Willow touched Buffy's arm. "Are you sure you're ready for this? I don't like you going in alone."
"I won't be alone," Buffy replied. "Once you do that spell, you'll all be with me."
In the small room, Willow, Tara and Giles sat in a circle. Willow began the ritual. "The power of the Slayer and all who yield it. Last to ancient first, we invoke thee. Grant us thy domain and primal strength. Accept us in the power we possess. Make us mind and heart and spirit joy. Let the hand encompass us. Do thy will. We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel-the hand...daughter of Sineya...first of the ones... We implore thee, admit us,bring us to the vessel, take us now."
As Buffy was preparing to destroy Adam, Sam was cowering in an underground tunnel at the rear of the Initiative. He held his gun, ready to fire, but it was far from steady in his trembling hand. He was sure he painted the devil's trap perfectly. A salt line had also been poured at the door. But, something was approaching from the outside. The lights flickered and went out. Soon, a match was held to a cigarette in the mouth of the approaching figure. "Eh, you, what's with all this?" Spike asked pointing at the sigils painted on the walls and floors.
Sam swallowed weakly. "Devil's trap." The emergency lights flashed on.
"Brilliant. When you Initiative blokes learn that?" Spike didn't wait for an answer. "Look, I'm just here for a 'tune up'. The chip and all. Why don't you let me in, then you can repaint your pretty little designs."
Sam leveled his gun at Spike's chest. "I am not opening those doors."
"Bloody hell. Few minutes late and I get G.I. Joe junior stopping me from chip removal," Spike muttered too quietly for Sam to hear. However, the sound of something else making its way through the tunnel caused both of them to turn.
Two grimslaw demons were crawling towards them. One jumped towards Spike, but fell to a sizzling mess when hit with one of Sam's salt bullets. Spike turned in surprise, only to have Sam shout, "Get down, there's more!" Sam shot as many as he could, but they were fast and there were a lot of them.
Spike jumped to his feet and joined in the killing of the spider-like demons. When they had killed all of them, Spike turned to Sam. "What kind of gun is that? Bullets don't normally stop these things."
"S-salt."
Spike lit another cigarette and nodded. The sounds of demons fighting on the other side of the door made his lip curl. "You may need more ammo."
Sam pulled a bandolier from his pack. "Got it."
Spike studied him a moment. "You're working with the Slayer?" Sam nodded. "Won't be getting my chip fixed, tonight then, will I?" Sam shook his head, just as a loud explosion heard from the other side of the door. Spike mimed tipping his hat and said, "Good night, hunter," before he ran to the the exit.
The explosion signaled what John Winchester had called the beginning of the end. Any sort of flame inside the containment facility would activate the sprinklers; and John made sure the water supply for the sprinklers was holy water.
Buffy, possessed with the power of the Original Slayer, kicked down the door to the lab. Inside, Adam and Riley turned to face her. "What are you doing here?" Riley demanded.
"This is not unexpected," Adam answered. "One as powerful as the Slayer would want to join with me."
Buffy could feel the Slayer's power coursing through her. "I am not here to join you. I am here to kill you."
Unaffected, Adam turned his back and continued working on his arm. "Kill her, brother. Like we did her friends."
Like a robot, Riley began to attack Buffy. Blocking his first punches, Buffy forced him back, eventually landing her own punch that sent him crashing into Adam.
In her mind, Buffy can hear Willow, Tara and Giles chanting, "Spiritus...Spirit. Animus...Heart. Sophus...Mind. Manus...the hand."
Enraged at Riley's inability to stop the slayer, Adam tossed the man across the room, knocking him unconscious. "I have destroyed your lover. Now, I will destroy you." He held up his arm that was now a mini machine gun. "I have been making upgrades."
Buffy blinked. Her eyes took on an animal like appearance. "You do not frighten me. I will end you."
"Interesting," Adam said tilting his head as he studied her. "What have you done?"
"I am more powerful than you could imagine."
Adam raised his gun arm and fired several rounds at Buffy. Buffy raised her hand and the bullets stopped in mid air, then fell to the ground.
"How?" Adam asked, but Buffy didn't answer.
Instead she walked up to him and slammed her fist into his chest. She pulled out his uranium power cell and held hit before him, crushing it in her hand. Adam crumpled to the floor, his eyes flashing as his power failed.
Knowing that the demons in containment were no longer a threat, Dean rushed to the lab arriving in time to find Buffy standing over the defeated Adam. Sensing his approach, Buffy turned to him, her eyes still glowing a muted yellow with the Slayer power. "You," she said in a voice that Dean did not recognize. "Do you want this body?"
"Is that a trick question?" Dean began to smirk, though he was worried about Buffy.
Still in the voice of the original Slayer, Buffy said, "Take me now, subcreature. I want you inside me."
"It sounds like you've got at least two or three people in there already," Dean replied but he braved getting closer to her. "You're turning me into Bill Murray, here. Come on Zuul get out of my girlfriend."
"There is no Zuul," a confused possessed Buffy said obviously struggling to free herself from the spell. She staggered into a table and fell to the ground.
"Oh, Zuulie, you nut, relax, c'mon, Buffy, time to shake her off. You can do it, baby. I want Buffy. Can I talk to Buffy?"
Groggily Buffy slowly blinked, her eyes returned to their normal state. "Dean?"
"Mornin' Sunshine! What do you say we get out of here." He stood holding out a had to assist her.
"Adam said he killed you."
Dean shrugged, "I guess he lied. Or he might have meant Riley."
"Riley's dead?"
"No. But he's going to need a hospital."
They gathered at Giles apartment to regroup and relax. Adrenaline was running so high though, no one could sit still. No one except Buffy, who was exhausted. Finding her nodding off, Dean told the others he was taking her home.
That night, Buffy had night terrors similar to what she experienced after killing Angel. Like then, Dean held her and comforted her until she fell back to sleep. However, the fact that the nightmares had returned, worried Dean. He promised himself to tell Giles about it in the morning.
Shiloh County Hospital 2004
By the time Buffy joined them, the others were already sitting in a semi-circle on the floor, waiting for Buffy to complete it. When she did, Willow lit a candle and began her explanation. "Sam is going to go first, since he has the strongest bond to Dean. Sam, you need to hold Dawn's and Buffy's hands. They will act as anchors to this world."
Sam nodded and held out his hands for the sisters to take. Xander held their free hands.
"The realm where Dean is will appear darker to you, but you will be able to see this candle to light your way back. Say whatever you can to convince Dean to follow you. You're both spirits, so you won't be able to touch each other, so you can't just grab hold of him and drag him back. He has to want to come back on his own."
"That should be easy," Dawn said encouragingly. "It's not like he wants to die."
Willow smiled at her. "Exactly. But, he might be lost and not know how to get back to his body."
"Once we get his spirit back, the specialist will be able to help him, right?" Sam asked.
"Yeah," Willow shrugged slightly, "that's the plan." She put some herbs in a small bowl. "Sam, are you ready?" He nodded. "Okay, concentrate on the flame of the candle." Willow began to chant, "Sightless sea, Ayala flows through the river in me. The inward eye, the sightless sea. Ayala flows through the river in me. The inward eye, the sightless sea. Ayala flows through the river in me. The inward eye, The sightless sea. Ayala flows through the river in me. The inward eye, The sightless sea. Ayala flows through the river in me."
To Sam, the light of the candle grew impossibly brighter. Just as he thought he had to close his eyes, he found himself in a hallway of the hospital. It was darker than the actual hospital and the sounds were muted. Sam looked around. "Dean?" he called quietly.
From behind him he heard his brother's voice. "Sam! What are you doing here? What happened?" Dean's eyes were full of panic.
"Dean, it's okay, I'm okay. I just needed to talk to you, so Willow used a spell." Sam smiled at Dean's huge sigh of relief. "I don't know how much time I have here."
"You didn't need a spell, I could hear you just fine from in there," he nodded toward his room.
"I needed to know it was really you I was talking to." Sam sat on a table that was against the hallway wall. "I need to tell you something and, uh , well, you should," Sam stammered hoping to get Dean to sit with him.
His brother took the clue and sat next to him. "Buffy's alive. I know, I've seen her."
"Yeah," Sam answered in a rush of relief.
"Did you know? I mean before."
"No, Dean." Sam looked pained at his brother's question, as if he could keep something like that from him. "I, uh, shot her," he admitted ducking away from Dean's reaction.
Dean's eyes widened. "You shot her?"
"Yeah. Shoulder through and through."
Dean nodded and suddenly found his hands very interesting.
"Dad knew. Just when you thought I was his favorite," Dean smirked hoping his reply sounded like a joke.
"Yeah, Buffy told me. I guess he ran into her on a trip to Sunnydale. He threatened her, so she wouldn't tell you she was back."
Dean shook his head and sighed. "Yeah, but she didn't want me to know, either." Sam looked surprised that Dean would say that. "She never cared what Dad said before, you know."
Dean pushed off the table and walked to the tiny waiting room that was nearby. He wasn't surprised to find Tessa waiting there. "Hi, Dean."
Dean turned and smiled at his younger brother. "Thanks for taking the spirit walk, Sammy. It's good to really talk to you."
Sam smirked. "Well, get on back to your body so we can talk in the real world."
"Sorry, Sam. I don't know if I can do that."
Stunned, Sam babbled, "What? Of course you can. You have to. You have to get better. We've just become brothers again. Dawn's bringing in a specialist. You'll be fixed up in no time. And, what about Buffy?" Dean looked at his brother with an inscrutable expression. "Come on, man. I know how you felt about her. She's back and she's here, waiting for you."
"Dawn," Dean said with a small sigh, "she's really something." Dean crossed the room to where Tessa stood. With a glance to the reaper, Dean faced his brother. "It's better if I don't come back."
"You're wrong. We need you back. I need you back. I can't do this without you." Dean turned away. "What about Buffy? You've got to remember how much better your life was with her in it."
Dean shook his head sadly. "I'm not going to do that to her. She wanted out so badly she let me think she was dead." Sam began to interrupt, but Dean stopped him. "I don't blame her. Look at the mess I made of your life since I came for you at Stanford. Jess is dead, Madison is dead. You had a life, a real life that you always wanted, until I showed up and ruined your chance at a real future. I'm sorry, man. I don't, I don't know why you'd even want me back. I'm a friggin' curse to the people I care about."
"Dean, that's not true."
"At least Dawn was smart enough to stay away." Dean looked away. "Hey, uh, look after my ba-," he huffed quietly, "Right, forgot she was totaled." He looked up at Sam. "Take care of yourself, Sammy. Don't be too big a pain to Dad, all right? He did the best he could."
"Dean? What are you saying, man?" Sam asked though he recognized the 'good-bye' he heard. "Don't you give up. You've got to fight, man. You've got to come back."
Dean saw the bright light of the portal Willow made. He could see the others sitting around Sam's body. He tried to smile reassuringly for his little brother, but Sam's expression told him he failed. "Thank Dawn for me and tell Buffy I'm sorry."
Instantly, Sam found himself back in the center of the circle. He looked from Willow to Dawn and back. "Thanks, Willow." He rose from his spot, turning away from the others as he did. Buffy met his eyes and she immediately knew Dean wasn't coming back.
Excitedly, Dawn stood up and asked, "It worked? You talked to him. Did you tell him about the specialist?"
Sam did his best to school his expression before turning to Dawn. "Yeah, I told him." Dawn kept staring at him expecting more. "He said you were beautiful."
"What else did he say?" Buffy asked quietly as she stared out the window.
"He said to say he's sorry."
Tessa put her hand on Dean's shoulder. "That was difficult, I'm sorry."
Dean ignored her attempt to comfort him. "Is it time?"
"Nearly. So, you've decided you're going to go?"
Dean heard Buffy enter the room, but didn't bother looking up. "Gotta say I'm surprised you made the effort to do the dream walk thing, considering your lack of effort when it comes to communicating with me."
"Sam thinks you're not going to make it. That you don't want to come back."
"Sam would be right. Not that I have much choice. I don't want to become something I used to hunt."
Before Buffy could say anything, Dean continued, "Why, why didn't you want me to know you were alive?"
"You weren't there. You promised you'd stay and take care of Dawn, but you left."
Dean nodded to show he understood.
"I hated you for leaving. I hated you for not being there for me when Willow brought me back. I hated that you weren't there to stop them from doing that spell. I hate that you didn't try to bring me back yourself." They were silent for a minute,while Buffy calmed herself. "I know that doesn't make any sense, but it's true. When Willow brought me back I was filled with such rage."
Dean let himself drown in remorse. Quietly, in a voice that remembered all the pain that followed her death, Dean said, "I did try to bring you back." Buffy stilled in shock. Dean cleared his throat. "I, uh, tried to make a deal." He glanced at Buffy, then bowed his head again. "Remember the Robert Johnson story I told you? I went to a crossroads demon, offered to make a deal. Hell, I begged, but she wasn't interested in dealing. Said my soul wasn't good enough; told me that there was no way I was worth the same as a slayer. That I was a fool, to think she'd ever return a slayer from the dead."
Buffy stared mutely at him; stunned at what she was hearing.
"I couldn't live without you, Buffy." He stopped suddenly as he fought with his feelings. "I couldn't. I would get so caught up in you, in how much I loved you," he fumbled over his words, "I'd forget everything else. I always knew I needed you more than you needed me. I mean, you've been alive for years and I probably didn't cross your mind."
"Dean, I told you, I was too angry. But, you -"
"Right. I was angry, too, but I loved you. I was so in love with you. I was ready to, I wanted to spend my life with you."
"I know," Buffy said quietly. She pulled her necklace out from under her shirt. "I found this on my finger when I came back." Dean stared at the charm that was once a ring. "I've never taken it off." She took a deep breath. "The demon couldn't make a deal with you, Dean, because I wasn't in hell. I went to heaven."
"Heaven?" Dean didn't hide his surprise or his skepticism. "There's a heaven?"
"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "And it's just what you want it to be. I don't remember it clearly anymore, but I do remember my mom being with me." She only gave Dean a moment to come to terms with that and then she continued. "Willow did a spell which pulled me out of heaven. She returned me to a Sunnydale overrun with demons. After I woke up in my coffin and had to dig my way out of my grave, I thought I was in hell. I was so scared, so confused. Dawn eventually found me at the tower where the portal opened."
The memory caused Buffy to pause; giving Dean time to realize how alone and afraid she must have felt. Part of him desperately wanted to hold her and comfort her but another part was still too angry.
Buffy needed to stay calm while she spoke. "She took me home and helped me clean up. That's when I saw the ring. The gold was mangled and the diamond cut into my finger. I destroyed it even more trying to get it off my finger. I knew what it was, that it was from you. I went to my room to find you, to find my pictures and letters, but everything was gone. You were gone." She saw her pain reflected in his eyes. "That's when I realized how empty I felt, how alone, how wrong. In heaven, I was happy and safe and loved. In Sunnydale, I was dead inside. Except for anger. I had a lot of anger."
Dean took a moment to walk across the room. He needed to distance himself from her. He was beginning to feel that familiar grip on his heart. How could he let her do this to him again? "Fine. You were mad. I can see that. And I give it a month, two even. But over two years? Why does it take me dying for you to tell me you're alive?" Dean pleaded. "You didn't have to take me back. You could have kicked me to the curb. But you didn't even want me to know you were alive."
Buffy saw the pain in his eyes and hated herself for putting it there. "Dean, I thought I came back wrong. I even had Tara test me."
"Wrong?"
She nodded. "I was so cold and empty. All I had was my anger and I took it out on everyone." She moved closer to him. "Believe me, everyone wanted me to call you, but I couldn't. I couldn't ruin you, us, with what I had become."
Dean looked confused. "What you became?"
"When I was in heaven, I got to relive my favorite moments. And other than my eighth birthday party at the ice capades, you were in most of them." Buffy blushed slightly and huffed a small laugh. "Obviously it wasn't you, it was my perfect version of you, but that doesn't matter. I could relive any moment, our first kiss, San Francisco, prom, the time we spent the whole day in my dorm room." Blushing at the memory, she smiled warmly at him for a moment then tears welled in her eyes. "I was so afraid that if you came back into my life, you would see how wrong I was and you wouldn't want me."
"Buffy, you should have given me the chance."
"I know. I was wrong, I know that, but I was so scared."
Dean shook his head sadly. "You never believed that I loved you. Didn't the ring mean anything? I wanted to marry you, Buffy."
She couldn't look at him. "You moved on."
"You were dead!"
"You did more than cross my mind, Dean, but you fell in love again and you looked so happy. I," she heaved a breath, "I couldn't take it. You forgot me."
"Moved on? Forgot you?" Dean's mind was whirling, but slowly it focused on one thought. "I 'looked happy'? When. When, Buffy, when did you see me looking happy?"
Buffy hesitated. "I, we, live in Cleveland, now. Cleveland's not far from Athens."
"Athens, the Crawford Hall case." Dean said with resigned sigh.
"Yeah, but you got there first."
"Cassie. You saw me with Cassie. I was with her for three weeks. I was with you for over three years!" Dean cared for Cassie, but those feelings paled in comparison to what he had felt for Buffy. He looked at Buffy. "Look around, Buffy, she's not here holding my hand, she's not part of my life. If you think I was ever over you, you're wrong. I never stopped loving you. I never loved anyone else. I died when you jumped from that platform." Dean took a moment to control his emotions, but it was pointless. "I must still be in love with you because you can still tear my heart out. You were close enough to see me, but you still didn't want me enough to let me know you were alive."
"Dean -" She struggled with the urge to hold him, to touch him. She so desperately wanted to feel his warmth wrapped around her again. However, she knew the chances of that ever happening were slim.
"Save it," he said bitterly cutting her off as he saw Tessa enter the room. He took a deep breath as it dawned on him that this was his last chance to talk to Buffy. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you down, sorry I disappointed you. I tried. It was too hard. I couldn't stay there without you. It hurt too much." He cleared his throat. "I couldn't take Dawn with me, away from everyone she knew and loved. That wouldn't have been right, either." Dean nodded at Tessa. "I've got to go and I don't want to go out like a whiny -" he edited himself. He took a breath and plastered on his standard fake smile. "Thanks for coming to see me, Buffy."
"Dean, you're not going anywhere. Get back to your body. The specialist will be here and you're going to get better."
"No, I'm not Buffy." He took a long look at her hoping to hold on to her image for a while. Finally, he looked away and began to walk towards the reaper.
"Where are you going?" Buffy called after him until she too saw Tessa. "Seriously? She's your reaper?"
"You can see her? She can see you?" Dean asked. Tessa nodded.
"Yes. I was dead before, remember? Figures you'd have a cute girl for a reaper."
"Thank you," Tessa said quietly.
Dean turned his back on Buffy. "Is it time for me to go?"
"Yes," Tessa replied quietly. "You can have some time if you need to say good-bye."
Dean barely glanced at Buffy. "No. She's said all she needed to say."
"Take me instead," Buffy insisted.
Spinning to face her, a shocked Dean said, "No. Buffy, what are you doing? No."
Buffy stepped around Dean to face Tessa. "I'm supposed to be dead already. Take me."
Tessa raised an amused brow. "You want to make a deal? Your soul for his?"
Dean grabbed Buffy by the arm and yanked her back. "No, dammit Buffy. It doesn't work that way. You are not taking my place here."
Buffy stared at Dean's hand on her arm. She could feel it. He had moved her. Willow had said that was impossible. "Dean," she whispered now desperate for another chance.
Buffy changed her mind. She no longer wanted to die and she surely didn't want to lose Dean. "If you want him you'll have to go through me."
"Buffy don't. You just sold me on how great the after life is. I'll be fine. Maybe I'll even get to be happy. You know if they don't check the books too carefully." He touched her cheek. "If you ever gave a damn about me, look after Sammy. The demon wants him and it's not going to stop 'til he has him."
"Dean," Buffy pleaded. But, Dean saw the portal open behind her and with all the strength he had, he shoved her back to her realm.
John knew that with Sam and Buffy doing a 'spirit walk' Dean wouldn't be watching him. Dean won't see him make a desperate plea to save his life. John also knows that Dean would hate that his father even thought to make this type of deal, but that didn't deter him in the least. John reminded himself of everything he had taken from Dean over the years, and began to draw on the concrete of the boiler room floor.
The words of Willow's spells are taken from Btvs season 4 ep. 21 and 16
