Ahh, a new chapter – and I'm updating the story without putting a two months in between posting this and the last chapter! I'm freezing, though… I wish they'd fix the heater… Eh, at least I don't have to help mom fix the toilet again.

Okay, this chapter is going to focus a lot on this random idea I had one day. Remember when I left off with Mendez? Probably not, that was back in chapter 2, but anyway – I'm finally getting back to him. It kind of started when I got thinking about how Regenerators give me the creeps while I was listening to this song from The Naked Trucker and T-bones Show (funny show) and it inspired this chapter. I might even squeeze that song in somewhere. I did have a goofy idea for that…

Well, enjoy the chapter! I'm kind of working on this to temporarily ignore my other over-due fics… Writer's block sucks. At least I have ideas for this one, right?

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Chapter Nine

In the Middle School Spanish Class, Near the Art Room

"Ahh," Mendez said in a happy tone. "Class, this is called a Regenerator."

The Spanish class just stared at the thing that had once been Robert, the seriously annoying French student. In some way, he didn't look much different than he had before… except now he was grey, and had really creepy teeth.

"They are created through simple experimentation on human subjects. They have very high metabolism, which allows them to rapidly restore lost appendages. The only sound they are capable of making is a wheeze."

He looked over at Robert, who did just that, the sickly rasp making the whole class shudder collectively. Someone in the back raised their hand slowly.

"Yes?"

"What is that music?"

Mendez had forgotten to mention the eerie song that played whenever a Regenerator showed up.

"That? That's the Regenerator's theme song – 'The Wheels on the Broken-Down Bus'."

In the Faculty Bathroom in the Very Back of the School

"Now, what's the plan?"

"There's a plan?"

"Wait a minute, I forgot to think of one." Wesker scratched his head, and leaned against the wall.

Birkin looked around idly. "This place is awfully pink…"

"I got it – this is the plan. We'll make it snow during a heat wave."

"That's not physically possible, Albert. Unless, of course, there was a second ice age and the words 'heat wave' referred to a large rise in temperature that was still below 32 degrees Fahrenheit."

"I wasn't being serious, Will."

"Then what is your plan?"

"I still don't have one."

Birkin looked around again, and he suddenly realized something. "We're in the Women's bathroom."

"I thought pink in a bathroom was a little weird for guys…"

Suddenly the door swung open, and Birkin shrieked like some unholy creature being mauled by another, even more unholy creature. He didn't waste any time running out past the woman who'd just walked in, and now stood there staring at the screeching guy and the other guy in total confusion.

"We got lost," Wesker said, walking quickly out of the bathroom.

"Uh… Okay…"

Wesker caught up with Birkin about a mile down the hall.

"What was that about, Will?"

"She just startled me, that's all," Birkin said matter-of-factly, just in time for someone to pop up right behind him.

"Hey, has anyone seen a warehouse office key around here?"

Birkin screamed again, this time, running straight into the wall and hitting the floor, unconscious.

"Great. Thanks a lot, retard," Wesker snapped, and Dario seemed taken aback.

"But it's-a me! A-Mario!"

"Don't you mean Dario?"

"Er…Yeah… Easy mistake."

"Get the hell away from me," Wesker said, starting to walk away, but Dario jumped in front of him.

"But I need help!"

"With what?"

"Finding my copy of Super Mario Brothers."

Wesker raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going." With that, Dario wandered off, hopefully not to reappear anytime soon.

"What did I miss?" Birkin asked, sitting up and rubbing his forehead.

"Nothing really worth mentioning," he muttered. "What are you staring at?"

Birkin pointed to something behind Wesker, and he turned, coming face-to-chest with Mendez.

"Mi amigos, is there a reason you're creating such a commotion? There are classes in session."

"What are you doing here? Did you escape from the freak show, or something?"

Mendez rolled his real eye, his glass one remaining eerily stationary. "Normally, I don't get annoyed very quickly. But that comment is the straw that broke the camel's back."

"Er, I'd just like to interject that an analogy such as that isn't very plausible in real life. And you're not a camel," Birkin said, and Mendez ignored him.

"I have a friend I'd like you to meet," Mendez turned and walked into a nearby room. But, instead of Mendez coming back out, a regenerator came out. It wheezed and started to approach them menacingly, until…

"Were you raised in a barn?" came Mendez's voice from inside, and the regenerator paused in its advance to close the door behind it.

"Why are we just standing here? Shouldn't we maybe go, before it attacks us?" Birkin asked and Wesker just chuckled to himself.

"I have a better idea."

Still in the Same Place

The two stood there casually, while the regenerator slowly made its way closer. Very, very slowly.

Birkin sipped a cup of tea, looking around the hall in a bored fashion. "You'd think they would be able to move faster."

"Where did you get the tea? You've been right here the whole time."

"I don't know. I didn't even notice that I have it," he replied thoughtfully, taking another drink.

"Okay, this is getting boring," Wesker said, walking up to the regenerator. "You've just wasted fifteen minutes of my life."

Robert the once-student-now-regenerator made a hissing sound, opening his creepy jaws wide, intending to bite the blond man's face off.

"Screw the plan, we have to be on our way," Wesker said, looking at his watch and then shoving Robert hard enough to knock him down. "Come on, Will. Let's go find something to do."

Outside of the High School, in the Senior Parking Lot

Wesker and Birkin strolled past car after car, quite a few of them being really expensive ones.

"We're in the middle of nowhere, just a short ways from the dirtiest, most impoverished-looking town I've ever seen, on top of a mountain. Where do these people get the money to give their snobby kids cars like this?" Wesker muttered.

"And motorcycles," Birkin replied, "I've never seen so many of them at a school before… Except for that time the Hell's Angels did an assembly at Sherry's school…"

There was a long moment of silence.

"Er, what are we doing?"

"We're looking for something to joyride through the school," Wesker answered.

"Okay… How about one of those?" Birkin pointed to a dark Mercedes and a Harley Davidson parked side by side.

"Hold on – that's perfect."

Gliding Through the Halls Between Classes

Birkin sighed, wondering why he kept getting into weird situations like this. He was riding along on a red bicycle someone had left in the parking lot, with Wesker sitting on the handlebars, sucker-punching people as they rode by.

"That sweater's a sin against nature!" Wesker shouted, knocking a preppy kid to the floor.

Even though the halls were crowded with students and staff members, no one had noticed them yet… Until Wesker punched them, anyway.

"Your hair is hideous! Where'd you find it, a rat's nest?"

"Albert, the hall is getting a bit too crowded for bike riding." He had a point – they were barely moving at all now.

"It's alright – it'll start to thin out any time now," Wesker said, "Good thing, too. I'm running out of insults." Wesker randomly punched someone without looking, and was surprised when his fist hit something hard.

"Uh, why'd you just punch my gas mask?" HUNK asked in a confused tone.

"What are you doing here?" Wesker said, never expecting to see the weirdo near a school, unless his unfounded suspicion that he was a pedophile turned out to be true.

"I'm substituting for the Jewelry Design teacher."

Wesker laughed and HUNK just shook his head.

"Laugh all you want, but it's actually an interesting class. They cut up metal, solder it together, spend a lot of time trying to open the valves for the acetylene and oxygen 'cause they gut stuck easily… "

"Point taken. Have you - " Before he could finish, Robert the regenerator popped up from the crowd just a couple yards away from them, what looked like an attempted smile on his face. "Damn it!"

"What's wrong?"

"Mendez sent that stupid creature after us, because he has some problem with people disturbing his class. Now it won't leave us alone."

"So why don't you just kill it?"

"Mendez will send another one."

"How would he know?"

"He just would."

"Kill it anyway. It'll give you some uninterrupted time."

"Makes sense."

"But we don't have any weapons," HUNK said, "The guy at the metal detector 'borrowed' them."

"Have you never watched Comedy Central?"

"… No. Why?"

"Anything's a weapon," Wesker began singing the catchy tune, "Even baby's tears. First you'd have to freeze them in ice bullet molds."

"That is seriously retarded. But tell me more."

"Then you'd need an ice gun and only an evil genius knows how to make one. Then you'd need an evil genius."

"I do believe I'd be one," Birkin piped up.

"Where is this going?"

"Keep your wits about you. A ten-foot man never sleeps. He'll track you down in your dreams, kid. And when you die in your DDDDDDDRRREAMS! – then you really die."

"I don't know whether to be amazed or disturbed."

"Who cares? Let's just do something," Wesker said, and HUNK nodded.

"Just one problem. What do we do?"

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Yeah, the chapter focused totally on Wesker and Birkin. But they kind of needed some strange adventure, I thought. That and I've been draining all of my ideas into other things. Probably why the Super Mario idea got worked in there…

One thing I noticed at my high school in my senior year, was that there were a lot of pricey cars being driven by students - and oddly enough, they were the drivers you wouldn't want to be in a car with. I've always wanted an Aston Martin, but the only car I've owned to this day was a 1985 Buick Century with no brakes. It was weird having a car two years older than me…

The 'punching people while on a bike' idea came to me when I was thinking about one of my old PS games, Road Rash Jailbreak. My favorite thing to do in that game was punch people as I drove by. And the song was borrowed from The Naked Trucker and T-bones Show. I just couldn't resist having them break into song.

Well, that's all for now. Leave me a review, and let me know what you thought, or any suggestions. I'll be back sometime soon.