Enjoy the chapter! It took so long to get out due to the Beta. *shame on the Beta*

**Please view a short message from the Beta at the end of this chapter. It's pretty important.

Saving Roxas

Chapter 9: I Hate My Life

Axel's POV

I slowly opened my eyes when the morning light shown down on them from my open blinds in the bedroom. I sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes before I checked the time and date on my phone. I sighed loudly for two reasons:

It had been exactly three weeks since I first went to Hollow Bastion to find Roxas, two weeks since I had the deepest, darkest wish of my heart fulfilled, one week since Roxas decided to kick my heart in the ass and throw it into oncoming traffic, and two days since I came back to Twilight Town. It was also seven a.m.

I stumbled tiredly into the kitchen of the small, even lonelier than usual, apartment. I sat at the table and just stared at the empty seat beside me. It was hard to believe that just three weeks ago, Xion would be up and about making breakfast for us both while brewing my morning coffee. Now I just wondered what she was doing right now. Was she still sleeping? No, it was a school day and she had a lot to catch up on. When we came back together two days ago I had asked her a very simple question once we walked in through the door.

Do you still want to live with me?

She answered no.

She packed her bags and moved in with Marluxia and Larxene. They were glad to have her, and I was grateful they took her in. I needed to be alone anyway. No one should be witness to me drinking again, especially before ten in the morning. I knew I had a drinking problem growing up, but that didn't stop me from buying a bottle of Jack Daniel's yesterday and pouring it into my coffee. I took long gulps since my coffee wasn't that hot and felt the slight burn of alcohol as it ran down my throat. I figure if one of my friends saw me now, I'd have my ass kicked into next week. Demyx was a real stickler about my drinking, but then again he witnessed what it did to me first hand. I put the bottle away and walked toward my door to grab my mail. When I opened the door, I was greeted by Marluxia, just about ready to unlock the door with his spare key.

"Axel!" He smiled widely. "I didn't think you'd be up yet." He rubbed the back of his head embarrassedly. I cocked my head to the side and lifted a single eye brow.

"Marly, what the hell are you doing?" I questioned, and he paused. "I'm home, so you can knock you know. I'm a light sleeper," I stated. He smiled even wider, and I wondered how one could be so full of energy before eight a.m. "That's beside the point, what fuck were you going to do if I was still sleeping?" I demanded, and he held his hands up in his defense.

"Hey," he started defensively, "Larx was worried about you when you dropped Xion off, so she kicked me out this morning and told me to come see you," he said, pushing past me into the small apartment. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the mail beside the door before shutting it behind me. I trudged through the living room and found Marluxia staring at my coffee weirdly.

"What are you doing?" I asked, grabbing the mug and chugging the rest. "There's a whole pot in the kitchen, Marly~"

"That had alcohol in it," he said, glaring at me angrily. I looked away, sitting down in my chair.

"You shouldn't drink other people's drinks," I said simply, looking at the bills that came in the mail.

"I didn't have to taste it! I could smell it!" he argued, getting angrier. "Where's the bottle?" he questioned. I sat at the table and didn't respond, pretending he wasn't there. "Tell me, Axel Lea!" he yelled loudly. I slammed the mail on the table before getting up and walking into the kitchen to the cabinet that hid the bottle. I pulled it out and ripped the brown paper bag it was in off before I opened the lid and lifted it to my lips. "Axel," he warned. "Don't!" he yelled, but I tipped my head back and gulped what was left of the bottle, which wasn't that much considering how much coffee I'd had in the last two days. I hadn't been sleeping well. I dropped the bottle on the floor, and it shattered.

Just like my heart did when Roxas told me to get lost, when Xion wished I was dead, just like every other time in my life. One would think I would learn not to trust people so much after everything I'd been through.

"You idiot," he cursed, kneeling to pick up the broken glass slowly. I stumbled slightly as I tried to stay on my feet before I collapsed to the floor. I lay there and let my eyes slowly flutter to a close. The glass Marluxia hadn't cleaned up yet made a terrible cushion as it dug into my back harshly, but it didn't hurt as much as it should have. I'd been half drunk for a while, since I had dropped Xion off really, but I could finally feel the full effects of being drunk again.

Why had I ever stopped? The effects were just what I needed: the perfectly balanced mind numbing effects with just enough sense to remember my own name. I closed my eyes right as Marluxia leaned over me calling my name worriedly. The scene felt all too familiar…

He crawled weakly to the kitchen and threw the cupboard open and grabbed the first bottle he saw and began to chug before he pushed the half empty bottle back into place. The vibrations sent one bottle falling, and it landed on Axel's back.

"Fuck!" Axel cursed and then coughed before rolling over and staring at the ceiling. He didn't care he was lodging glass into his back; he didn't care that he might have cracked a rib. He just lay on the floor, enjoying the sting of the alcohol on his open cut and thinking about the buzz he was now experiencing. He didn't know how long he was on the floor until his door opened and someone ran to his side.

"Axel!" The person slid beside the drunken red-head and Axel barely recognized it to be Demyx.

Oh…this had happened before. I felt a light sting on my cheek, but ignored it, willing the darkness to pull me into a deep sleep. Although, the sleep was filled with nightmares about all the wrongs that had been done to me in my life, but it was still welcomed one in the same.

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Reno's POV

I knocked lightly on the white door in front of me. The secretary had let me pass without hesitation, stating that I was much needed. I heard nothing on the other side, so I cracked the door open and spotted Rufus lying on the couch in his office, sleeping. My face softened slightly and I walked in, shutting the door lightly behind me. It had been six days since we came back from Kairi's birthday party in Radiant Garden, and Rufus never had the chance to head home in that time yet. I had gotten a call earlier in the day from Marluxia that Axel needed me over at his apartment. Apparently he wasn't feeling well, and I just wanted Rufus to know I wasn't going home.

I walked closer to him, kneeling beside him and looking at his sleeping face. I hated that I needed to wake him up, but he would want me to tell him directly instead of leaving a message. I shook his shoulder gently, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. The normally light-blue eyes were much darker than usual, and I smiled goofily down at him.

"Evening, Reno," he said dryly. I relaxed my face and kissed his forehead lightly. "What are you doing here?" he questioned.

"Well, Marluxia called me earlier saying Axel wasn't feeling well. I voted to stay with him until he was feeling better," I explained. Rufus began to sit up on the couch as I continued. "I thought you might want to know in case you needed me," I explained. He nodded lightly, rubbing the sleep out of eyes. "Any leads?" I questioned.

"We caught one guy sneaking around one of the reactors, but he hasn't said anything yet according to the police," he explained, flattening his hair back into an acceptable style. I ran my hands over his suit to straighten it up while he stared down at me.

"You're making me look like a stuffy bastard, Rufus," I said regarding how messy he looked. "The President of Shin-Ra, Inc. shouldn't carry himself as su~" I paused when he grabbed my hands in his and kissed them lightly. "No need to be all sappy," I told him, looking away as my cheeks colored pink.

"Thank you," he started quietly, "for being so patient with me," he finished. I nodded and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed back deeply, running his hands through my hair before pulling away. "When this is all over, I'll take you someplace nice, anywhere you want to go," he promised. I snorted and glanced up at him dangerously.

"Corny as it sounds, I just want you," I said simply, rising to my feet. "Well, I gotta get going, Boss," I said heading toward the door. "Don't forget to eat, Rufus! You look thinner!" I called over my shoulder as an afterthought. I paused, realizing what I forgot to tell him, but his phone rang so he walked over to his desk to answer. I saw him begin to check things on his computer and pick up scattered papers that littered his desk. I realized for the first time what kind of stress he had on his shoulders.

Three little words can wait to be heard.

I left the building and ran to my car as fast as possible. One couldn't be too careful these days. Random places were getting robbed, burned, or even worse things done to them every day. This gang must really have it out for the town. In the beginning, attacking the town seemed pointless, but when they started attacking the reactors they just seemed like a terrorist group. Rufus studied all the factors himself for at least a solid day before recognizing a pattern. They attacked employees of one certain reactor, and then the next day the reactor itself was blown sky high. Only reactor employees were being attacked though, but everyone was scared and worried. People were refusing to leave their homes and go to work, some going as far as to quit. Shin-Ra employed most people in town, as well as all over the world, and the company was really taking a hit.

It seemed so coordinated, like someone inside Shin-Ra was leaking details, but who would? The group wasted no time and acted quickly and efficiently…kind of like the private police force for the company, the Turks.

I parked a block from Axel's apartment building. I didn't want to risk endangering him at all since he was having a really hard time. He lost Roxas again, and he even lost Xion. I began to walk down the street, keeping a hand on the EMR hidden in my jacket the whole time. Axel always had the worst luck ever since we were kids, but he took it all with his head held high. I just hoped all this would blow over quickly so things could go back to normal. We're all worried, but Axel's most likely on the rocks. He always took things to heart and always worried for everyone else beside himself. He was tearing himself apart and this gang business was just fuel to the fire. It was like life decided to watch Axel fall apart, or maybe a specific person~

A message?

It had to be message to someone. It was to get someone's attention, but who could they possibly be trying to reach with all the heinous crimes they've been committing? Who could be any important to a gang like this? The only person I can think of was Axel's dad, but he took his own life…or did he? Could they be after the man's only son, my cousin Ax~

"Ah!" I yelled falling to the concrete. My stomach stung with pain as I coughed up blood. I could barely breathe, but my training led me to try and kick behind me where I heard the movement. Though before I could gather enough energy to do so, I was nailed in the side by someone wearing steel-toe boots, and I heard something snap…a rib most likely. I fell to the side with a gasp as the pain reverberated through my body. I tried to move, but the wind had been knocked out of me in one, well-placed kick to the gut. I wheezed, looking for a way out of this, but none came to mind. I tried to catch my breath when something was tied around my eyes and a gag was shoved into my mouth. I heard shuffling of feet and then the opening of a car door.

"Inviare una lettera al Shinra." (1) I looked forward, trying to pinpoint the speaker. The language they were speaking I didn't know, despite my training. I began to regret not paying attention when Tseng tried teaching me these things years ago.

"Sissignore," (2) I heard from beside me. I didn't know what was happening at the moment, and that scared me more than anything. I worried about if the man beside me just gave the death order or not. It was a tactical nightmare, and I was on the receiving end. Maybe I should have told Rufus I loved him before I left, because my chances of escape seemed pretty slim. I felt myself being lifted up and dropped again, but I felt someone looming over me. I looked upward where I thought a person's head might be, wishing I wasn't blindfolded.

"Incubo Crimson colpisce ancora." (3) What? I was being kidnapped by that gang? Or did these people think I was in that gang. What were they saying? "Non temere, Reno, sarai salvato abbastanza presto." (4) They knew my name, that much I could tell. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but even a child could tell I was in trouble. "Prendetelo!" (5) I felt myself being lifted off my feet, but I made it as hard as possible for them to move me. I just hope Rufus will be okay with me gone for a little.

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Roxas's POV

"What do you think, Roxas?" Namine asked me, holding up to colors. One was purple and the other was...purple. She had two of the same color, but why? Shopping wasn't for me. She rolls me out of bed at six in the morning to drive for three hours, listening to bad pop music the whole trip, and then force me around an outlet mall all day! Basically, I just wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep...after I ate everything in the refrigerator of course.

"It looks purple, Nami," I stated in a bored tone of voice. She frowned at me, and I stared right back at her. "What?" I questioned, confused.

"But...this one is aubergine," she said holding the color in her left hand closer to her face. She set the other color down and kept the aubergine-colored one in her hand as we headed toward the owner of the dress shop. I stood to the side, glancing around the store, wishing I had food and something more entertaining. I reached up around my neck and felt the ring on the necklace there. I wished I had the strength to take it off, but I was only able to remove Axel's ring off the chain. I wanted to give them both back so Axel could finally move on, so that I could finally move on, but my heart just wouldn't let me. No matter how many times my mind says no, my heart simply causes my desire for him to grow. I watch Naminé being measured by a woman working for the store and tried to force that picture into my heart. No more Axel. I was tired of torturing myself…both of us.

"I'm done, let's go!" Naminé cheered, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the door. "The lady said it should be ready in about a week, and hopefully by then we can have our formal engagement announcement," she said, and I nodded. "You have no idea how hard it was to not tell our families. Even Kai is bursting at the seams!" she explained as we walked around the outlet mall. I had told everyone not to say anything because at the time I was scared. I thought asking Naminé to be mine would fix all my problems and yearnings for Axel, but it didn't. If anything, it became worse.

"Sure," I said distantly. I caught sight of two teenagers running about, smiling and laughing. The boy held the girl close to him every so often and kissed her. I remember being like that with Axel… It felt like such a long time ago, a time I miss considerably~

"Roxas?" she questioned. I paused before her words sunk in, and I turned to her slowly.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, and she cocked her head to the side in worried confusion. I smiled for her, but she didn't look like she was buying it.

"Engagement party," she said simply, pulling me to sit with her on a bench. I sat down and let her rest her head on my shoulder. "I thought we could have one by at least next week, right?" she inquired, and I nodded.

"Y-Yeah," I said hesitantly, trying to sound excited. "We'll have a big one, okay? You can invite everyone you want to, all right? My treat for being such a stick in the mud lately," I promised. She gasped and cheered to herself, hugging me close to her. I hugged her back, but it just didn't feel right. I wanted someone bigger than Naminé so hugging would give me warmth and a place to rest my head when I'm sad and lonely. I wanted to feel safe, but with Naminé it was just a hug…nothing more.

I had to be one of the most indecisive people on the planet…not to mention a complete jerk.

"Oh, that's me," Naminé said, pulling her ringing cell phone from her bag. It was about eight o'clock, and we hadn't heard from anyone all day. "Hey, Kai… What?" Naminé then practically screamed, "You're kidding! We'll be back as soon as we can, Kairi!" Naminé promised, ending the call and pulling me to my feet. I looked to her for an explanation and she handed me the keys to the car. "Reno's missing, and Rufus was shot!" she exclaimed.

I suddenly lost all appetite, and again, Axel was on my mind along with Kairi.

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Axel's POV

I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet right now.

"Fuck!" Rufus cursed loudly from the hospital bed.

"Mr. Shinra, please," the nurse huffed. Two other nurses were holding Rufus down to the bed since he refused to sit still long enough for them to do anything. I leaned against the far wall, wondering why I'm such a moron. Had I not been an asshat and started to drink again while wallowing in self-pity, I would never have collapsed, Marluxia would never have called Reno, Reno would never have gotten kidnapped, and Rufus would have had Reno to help him avoid getting shot. So, yeah, issues in the world are always my fault.

Global warming? I was standing near some ice cubes.

"I'll be fi~ Ah!" he grunted in pain as the nurse purposely pushed on the wounded arm when dabbing his bleeding head with cleaning alcohol. Rufus glared at her and continued to fight them off. "I have things I must do and—ah!—a c-company to run," he declared through his pain. I saw how frustrated the nurses were getting and how one was inching toward the drawer of sedatives when I finally decided to speak up.

"You can't help Reno by refusing the help of doctors," I yelled, and Rufus stopped arguing and slumped back against the bed. I stared at the ribbon I held in my hand, a red ribbon, and tried my hardest to make it disappear, taking all my problems with it. Rufus grunted in a pain a few more times before the nurses finally finished after fifteen minutes. They left the room giving me their thanks for controlling Rufus, and when I glanced over at him, he was already reaching for his phone. I strode across the room and took it from him. "No."

"You have no right!" he argued. "I have business and~"

"We both know that if Reno was here you'd be forced to relax for a while," I said. His good hand dropped, and he stared at the white sheets he was sitting on. "Can you tell me what happened?" I asked, wanting to know the real story before he used his 'Shinra charm' to bend it in his favor for the cops. He took a breath, but didn't move to look at me.

"I woke up and Reno told me you were sick and that he was going over to watch you. I watched him leave the office. I was going over some files and making phone calls when my personal assistant buzzed over the intercom that I had a message. I asked her to bring it in and when I heard her scream, the door was kicked open, and I was shot. I remember I fell in my haste to move out of the path of the bullet and hit my head on my desk. Then the letter was dropped on top of me," he explained. I nodded, sitting in the chair beside him. "Who all knows?" he questioned me.

"I called Kairi considering Reno is her brother, and who knows who that girl told," I informed him. He nodded looking at the phone in my hand that belonged to me and the red ribbon.

"Incubo Cremisi," he growled in anger. "They'll pay," he swore darkly.

"Yeah, but for now, rest a little. You need to, okay?" I said, and he nodded, leaning back. I never knew Rufus to care all that much or show many emotions. In a way, he reminded me of Roxas's uncle, Sephiroth. They didn't show it, but they really do care for their loved ones. In fact, the closest affection I'd seen Rufus and Reno share in front of me was when Reno bought Rufus a new wrist watch for his birthday three years ago. He kissed him on the lips for less than a second, but never takes it off. Speaking of the watch, I watched Rufus finger the watch absentmindedly while I stood up to call Kairi with a status.

Making that girl wait more than an hour would be dangerous.

I was still angry at myself, blaming my own inability to suck it up and deal with it for once and dialed Kairi. I waited and tapped my foot on the floor as I waited outside the door of the hospital room. I watched an Officer come down the hall, one I identified instantly as Kuja, and I smiled slightly. He nodded, passing me and walking into the room to question Rufus.

"Hello?" I froze for a beat, knowing the manly voice on the other end was most certainly not Kairi. "Hello?" he drew out in annoyance.

"Is Kairi available?" I questioned. It was quiet for a minute, and I bet Roxas was having the same reaction as me.

"No."

"Well, tell her that Rufus got away safely with just a bullet wound on his right arm and a cut on the left side of his head. As for Reno… We'll find him," I said simply. I waited for the confirmation on the other end, wondering if I should just call Hayner since I actually liked him.

"Sure," he said simply. I was about hang up when he spoke again, this time a little more hesitantly. "How are you doing?" he questioned. He sounded generally concerned since he knew I was very close to Reno and Kairi. Reno was like my stupid, older brother, and Kairi was like my bratty, little sister. I normally would have accepted his kindness since I knew deep down I still loved him no matter what, but after everything that had been going on with me, I couldn't but respond angrily.

"Why the fuck would you care, Roxas?" I drew out. I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to yell at him, or punch a wall or something, so I just hung up the phone, refusing to let my anger out. I stormed back into the room and saw Kuja reading the letter silently. I returned to sitting beside Rufus knowing Reno would want someone keeping an eye on him if he couldn't.

"Well," Kuja started, "it seems like Reno is in some serious trouble," he said, handing the note to me. "I promise on behalf of the Police Department of Twilight Town, we'll find Reno as soon as possible and bring down this group," he promised. Rufus nodded, and Kuja nodded to me again, excusing himself and leaving the room. I looked at the note and read it silently.

President Shinra:

I have been enjoying myself as of late. This game never seems to disappoint me in the slightest, and I hope you are enjoying yourself as well. As you know, you only have four working reactors in town, and many of your employees are either dead, injured, or hiding. Company sales have dropped, yes? Our sign has almost gotten the attention of our prey and once we get them, all will be well again. Isn't your Reno so smart? He figured it out all by himself. As much fun as playing with him is, my patience grows thin, and he's running out of unmarred skin. We both know there is one more bank code you have yet to give us and maybe some weapons as well. I love gifts, and I'm sure Reno loves breathing. I'd suggest you send me a gift…and soon, sir.

-Incubo Cremisi

Bastards, the lot of them.

Messing around with us like that. What do they mean prey? Are they after someone specifically? I thought they were just after the destruction of Shin-Ra. I mean they're doing all they can to cause trouble for Rufus and his company. They even took Reno to mess with his heart, not just his head. Then basically telling him they were torturing him? It was so confusing, but I didn't care who they were after, I just wanted them out of Twilight Town. I watched Rufus from behind the cover of reading and saw just how tired and defeated he must have truly felt, but when I lowered the paper, he was all business again.

"I'll talk to the nurses about getting you outta here," I said, and he nodded slightly. I placed his cell phone on the table beside him. "Do what you gotta do," I said as I got up and left the room to find the nurses' station.

If only I had just sucked up my emotions…we might have been able to avoid all of this.

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3rd Person POV

A resounding slap echoed throughout the darkened room. Reno was still blindfolded and gagged, but you could still tell he was screaming when the pain was enough. You could still tell when he was cursing and the like, but mostly you couldn't hear anything. A man stood leaning against the wall of the dark room, smirking in pleasure when Reno tried to call out when he was kicked to the floor. He waved to the man doing the beating as he picked up Reno and the chair he was sitting on. The gag was ripped from his mouth, and Reno was punched in the face, crying out in pain from his already bruised face. The man in the shadows only laughed at Reno's pain.

Oh, how I love the game, he thought quietly.

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Axel's POV

"Couldn't you have said no?" I asked the cold slab of stone in front of me. "If you didn't have me, I wouldn't have to curse all of mankind by breathing," I explained. I sighed, placing my head in my hands, wondering what possessed me to come out, in the middle of the night, to the cemetery, especially since Reno was kidnapped. "Honestly, Mom…" I trailed off, wondering why I still talked to graves. I thought I outgrew the habit a year after Jessie died. "Why am I back?" I questioned. "I have no idea in hell," I sighed, answering myself. I stared at the name quietly as I pondered what would have happened had my mother not gone to that party that day. "What about you, Nana? Have any idea why the failure's back?"

"I wouldn't say such things about yourself, Axel," a voice spoke from behind me. I jumped up from my position on the ground and saw Setzer put up his hands as a sign of peace. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized. I waved him over, and he came closer and stared down at the stones with me.

"What brings you out so late?" I questioned.

"I was paying some respects to my parents," he informed me, and I nodded slowly. "I guess you're just looking for someone to talk to, yes?" he questioned, and I nodded. "I heard about Reno on the news as well as from Kuja. How's Rufus?" he questioned.

"He hasn't talked to me since yesterday when we left the hospital, and when I called his assistant, he apparently locked himself in his office using what Reno figured out to identify the person they're looking for."

"They're looking for someone?" he questioned, shocked. I nodded, and he looked at me to elaborate.

"Well, they attack the employees of a certain reactor and then when they're all gone, or can't come in, they attack that reactor. They're slowly taking the Shin-Ra company down by cutting its profits repeatedly," I explained. "Reno thinks it's because they're trying to get someone's attention specifically, and Rufus wants to find out who it is," I finished.

"If they get this person…things will be normal again?" he inquired, and I nodded slowly.

"I wanna help out, but I have enough problems of my own. I guess I thought being here would inspire me with a solution to the world's problems," I decided while he chuckled to himself. "You know you're supremely messed up when you get ideas from talking to dead people." I smirked slightly, and he smiled.

"I'm sure you'll figure things out," he said simply, turning away from me. "Just face the problems head on and everything else will fall into place," he promised. "See you around, Axel." I listened to the crunching of gravel as he walked toward the gate along the path, and I took his words to heart.

Face them head on, huh? Wonder how I'll pull that off.

All the following sentences are in Italian, as translated from Google Translate:

"Send a letter to Shin-Ra."

"Yes, Sir."

"Crimson Nightmare strikes again."

"Fear not, Reno, for you will be saved soon enough."

"Take him."

Now a message from the Beta:

I suppose the end of the chapter is better than any. Yes, this chapter is a filler chapter (according to the writer and me, anyway). I thought I'd let you all know that this story will be entering a hiatus phase. Sorry. It's my fault. Really, it is. I told her to stop writing it in favor of a new story she has begun writing (for an important reason). Check it out when it gets posted, yeah?

Thanks for reading, leave reviews, and all that jazz.

Until next time! (Whenever that is.)