Chapter 9:
I am walking with Emmett and Jasper. Edward had left earlier tonight, to go see Bella of course, and Emmett and Jasper wanted to go spy on him. I begged them to let me go, they didn't think it was a good idea, but I needed to go see them together.
I had witnessed little moments they had shared during school. Edward said they weren't together, he was just her friend, but I didn't buy that. I needed to see for myself.
As we run through the forest, Alice had a vision earlier of them in a clearing; I watch Jasper and Emmett pass certain looks like they are really worried. Emmett stops and so do I, Jasper stops after me. I hear whispering and giggling. I tense up. Stop, you promised, no freaking out. I whisper. I move a little bit closer and Emmett gives me a warning glance. I navigate between the tree branches and leaves so I can get a better look.
I spot them in the center of the clearing. They are both sitting, close together. Edward mumbles something and points up to the sky. I move closer when I realize I can't hear.
"It's beautiful," Bella chimes.
I notice the moon plays perfectly on his shape and seems to dance on top of his surface making him even more beautiful. Edward picks up a dandelion with thousands of little seeds begging to be set free and he holds it up to Bella.
"You should make a wish," he says musically and I know that she is into him. How could she not be? It would be merely impossible.
She waits a second and then she leans forward and blows on the dandelion and the seeds take flight. On cue, a wind blows through the forest and picks up the seeds and they continue their flight gracefully and dance around Edward and Bella. My heart yearns to be her at that moment.
She laughs a little and watches the seeds fall slowly. She turns to look at Edward slowly. Their eyes stay locked for moments and I know what is going to happen. She will either kiss him and he will kiss back, or he will kiss her. Either way ends in heartbreak for me.
Jasper's hand takes mine. I realize he had been beside me the whole time; I was just too focused on the scene playing out in front of me. He must have sensed my feelings. I give him a small smile and return to the viewing torture I seem to not be able to look away from.
Bella is moving closer, slowly. She must have decided she was going to kiss him. Her lips hit his awkwardly and I watch as he didn't pull away immediately. I feel as if my heart has sunk to my feet after it's been hit repeatedly over and over again. A lump forms in my throat as if I could cry. I gasp as the pain hits me like a thousand thundering trains and Edward pulls away and looks around the clearing. Jasper's hand clutches mine tighter. His amber eyes lock on mine. I can't move. He stands and it's as if everything is happening in slow motion. Jasper pulls on my hand trying to get me out of there. I give in and let him lead me away. I hear Edward's feet slowly thundering behind us. Emmett and Jasper begin to run, fast, Jasper still dragging me behind him. Edward's feet turn around and seem to run the other way as if he was returning to Bella.
My feet slowly begin functioning again and I can hold my own, running beside of Emmett and Jasper.
When we get back to the house, I let go of Jasper's hand. He looks to me with a nervous look. I force a small smile.
"Don't worry," I tell him and Emmett. "I just need some air." I say.
They look to each other before nodding and going inside without saying anything else. I look up to the house and think about going in, but I go against it and I turn and walk to the back of the house. I see Alice come out on one of the back decks but I see Jasper take her and lead her back in. He understands my heartbreak. He's experienced the feeling of betrayal. The difference is Jasper had a reason to believe that Maria loved him, she did play him. I, on the other hand have no signs that Edward returns my feelings, so I shouldn't be so heartbroken.
I walk over to one of the huge oak trees and I go to the side away from the house. I lean against it and I slide down it until I'm sitting on the ground. I bend my legs to my chest and I wrap my arms around them. I bury my face in between my knees and I try to get the image out of my head that keeps replaying over and over again.
After moments of silence a branch breaks from behind me and I snap my head up and look around. Edward looks to me shyly and continues his journey to the tree. When he arrives he leans up against it. I jump up and I put some distance between us. I look to the ground and then to him.
"Annabeth," he begins but I shake my head. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear his lies that he would say just to make me feel better. I didn't want anything to do with it. I shouldn't have gone. But I had to see it; I was so determined to see it. The lump forms in my throat again; it was a feeling I thought was gone for the rest of the night. Edward moves closer, I try to pull away but his hands rest on my arms. His eyes search mine, looking for answers. "Why were you out there?" He asks.
I shrug and swallow the lump down my throat. "I was just taking a walk. I heard giggling, and I was wondering who it was coming from. I guess I got my answer." I say.
"I didn't kiss her Annabeth." He says quietly.
"You have nothing to explain Edward." I say and try to walk away again but I fail when his arms tighten around me.
"You're right I don't." He says and I nod. "I mean since we aren't together or anything it doesn't really matter who I kiss right?"
I look up to him and I feel my lips quiver. He says it like it's my choice that we aren't together, like it's my fault and I'm on the brink of not being able to take it anymore.
