If I may, so long as the woman you love lives, and lives for you, all the privilege I claim for my own sex, and it is not a very enviable one - you need not covet it, is that of loving longest when all hope is gone
Anne Elliott, Persuasion
Sitting in her old room at her dressing table with Anna dressing her for her 'date' Sybil felt a weird sense of familiarity. Wearing one of her most intricate dresses she tried to push away the butterflies that lay in the base of her stomach. She had missed Tom when she had returned to Downton, she felt at home here but little things like seeing his books around the house were missing from her life now. She also missed the odd conversations she'd had with him whilst she had been trying to get her memory back about all the political adventures they'd had. It was nice to have someone who knew you inside out, maybe better than you knew yourself. As she stepped outside the house she saw Tom waiting on the gravel path expecting to see the Car as well. Tom was playing with his cap nervously until he saw her and beamed at his wife.
"I was expecting the car, where are you taking me?" Sybil enquired.
Tom took her hand excitedly, he should of felt frustrated at starting again with her but he didn't want to let it show, he wanted to prove to her he could make her fall in love all over again. "You'll see..." was all he said.
Sybil couldn't hide her disappointment to see they weren't going very far at all, only to the garage. "I have three places to take you but firstly here..." he stated proudly, whilst Sybil's expression remained clueless. "This is where we fell in love, all the time you would come and visit me, talk to me, kiss me..." Sybil trailed her fingers across the dusty shelves, the bonnet of the car and looked back at Tom when he talked about them together seeing the joy on his face. Sybil wondered what it would be like to kiss Tom, she had clearly done that and a lot more being his wife so why not now, why not try it and see how it feels...
Being back in the garage Tom's mind struggled to think of their new life back in Ireland, here she was the Lady, he was the chauffeur. He had waited so long and his hopes had been raised so high that when she'd arrived in the garage on that fateful night he was ready to be let down.
She had been there earlier in all her finery telling him she would make a decision soon and he could tell she was close. Part of him wanted it over either way, at least then he knew, but part of him wanted to cling on to that hope inside that maybe one day she would say yes. It was unusual for her to visit so late but the house had been in celebration for their new heir and his bride to be. She walked towards him, more nervous and urgent than usual. Then it came...the decision "my answer is..." Tom's mouth dry in anticipation, her words drowned out with the sound of his heartbeat, only knowing the prize was his when her smile lit the garage, him still in disbelief being rewarded for years of waiting. The kiss went from soft, sincere to strong and succulent. As they broke apart, their foreheads together, gasping for breath, Tom ran her fingers down her cheek as Sybil whispered in her husky tone "Definitely worth the wait..."
Now in the future Sybil glided towards Tom as he continued to explain their story, obviously nervous around her because of his rambling, Sybil silenced him with a quick kiss that tumbled into an embrace. This time as they broke apart the confusion had drifted from Sybil to Tom "What was that for?" Sybil returned his smile playing with the beading on her dress unaware her body language was flirting with his. "I just wanted to see what it felt like to kiss you" Tom's face full of hope his hands grabbed her waist and went in for another kiss, Sybil returned the affection but her eventual protests when the kiss became more passionate were ignored by the aroused Tom. Sybil forced his hands away with great effort and walked swiftly out of the garage, Tom shouting after her "Wait, Sybil, Please, I love you, I'm sorry, Come back."
Mary found Sybil in the library curled up in a ball on the sofa crying "My dear, whatever's the matter, what's happened?" Sybil remained silent even when Mary's arms surrounded her, rocking her to a calm state. Sybil couldn't put into words what had happened, she just needed to let her emotions and frustrations out and didn't know how. She didn't know why she was so upset, was it the frustration of having a man deeply in love with her who she couldn't love back? Was it not being able to live this adventurous life she kept hearing about? Was it that she felt empty because she didn't know who she was? Either way she felt defeated and alone.
As Tom sat in the servant's quarter, the only place he felt at home at Downton other than the garage, he saw Anna come down and place her hand on his shoulder "I'm here if you need to talk" and continue her duties. That's why Anna was so respected in the house because she was there for everyone without presuming to know what had happened even if she did; she was not a gossip like some of the staff. Tom had his head in his hands and only looked up to tell Anna his inner thoughts "I think I have to give her up Anna, I don't think I can do this again. I waited six years for her to fall in love with me, I don't think I can wait six years again" Tom didn't mean it, Anna knew that but she knew how difficult it had been for him the first time round, longingly pining for someone who may never be yours, Anna knew far too much about that herself. "Lady Sybil was in love with you far sooner than that Mr Branson, I saw the way she looked at you, even as soon as Ripon, Never give up on love, as long as you're both alive and hope is there, you'll find your way back to each other..."
Hope you enjoyed this longer chapter, I seem to start the chapter's positive and end them on a low note, sorry about that! Hehe!
