Ammy: Yo!
Terin: Roll the prices back!
Ammy: Because it's time for-
Terin: Organization XIII in Walmart!
Sora: Rolling, rolling, rolling, keep them prices rolling! Rawhide!
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Xemnas liked to get up late on Saturdays. On said Saturdays he would skip down to the kitchen, open up the cabinet and pour himself a big bowl of Trix.
Today was a Saturday, today, honorable number one was looking forward to his morning bowl of Trix. When he bounded into the kitchen, still in his feety pajamas, he opened up the cabinet to see nothing.
The cabinet was empty.
At that very moment…
"I shouldn't love you but I want to, I can't turn away…" Roxas sung a few bars of a song as he rubbed his hair dry with a towel. He took his right hand and would have placed it in a tub of hair gel, to find, that there was no hair gel. The teen started to panic…
At the same time…
Marluxia hummed a song as he prepared to care for his plants. He filled his watering can and walked to the shed to get fertilizer. Happily, he opened the shed door to see three empty bags of fertilizer.
Just then!
Larxene was also out of dun-dun-dun feminine supplies.
Ammy: Oh dear…
Terin: You better back up…
The three bathroom doors flew open and Xemnas hit his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO!" All four of them roared loud enough to shake all of The World That Never Was.
Marluxia dropped the watering can and ran inside. Roxas pulled on his clothes and ran down the hall to the kitchen still trying to get on his black cloak. Larxene ran down the hall and pushed Roxas down as she ran to the kitchen. Roxas got up and ran after her.
The three organization members burst into the room.
"I'm out of fertilizer!"
"I'm out of hair gel!"
"And I am out of- never mind!" Larxene withdrew to the back of the room.
"And I am out of Trix! Has the world gone mad!? How am I suppose to get my daily recommended amount of fruit!?" Xemnas screamed. As always, placing his needs above everyone else's.
"But, uh…Superior, there is no fruit in Trix. They aren't even shaped like fruit anymore." Roxas pointed out.
"Don't back sass me boy!" Xemnas shouted.
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All of Organization XIII was gathered in the living room. Xemnas was standing in front of the TV. Pacing back and forth he started to address his Organization.
"As you all know, we, the fine members of this organization, are faced with a dilemma. This, my friends, is no ordinary problem. We are currently out of Trix. The greatest breakfast food ever invented by man kind."
"We're also out of hair gel." Roxas said.
"And fertilizer." Marluxia added.
"Yes, yes, that too. But! As I was saying, we are faced with a mission so dear, that I don't think Roxas will make it out alive."
"What do you mean!?" Roxas stood up angrily. He was, of course, unheard.
"Just spit it out, what's the game plan?" Luxord asked.
"We must make a trip… To The Walmart That Never Was."
"You're kidding right?" Vexen asked.
"Do we all have to go?" Zexion crossed his arms.
"No, unfortunately, one of us will have to stay behind to hold down the fort."
Zexion started to raise his hand.
"Lexaeus will stay behind." Xemnas stated.
"Damn." Zexion whispered.
"Alright here's the plan!" Xemnas shouted as he pointed to a map of Walmart. "I will head right to the cereal aisle to secure the precious cargo. Roxas, Axel, Demyx, and their chaperone Xaldin will go and secure the needed hair care products. Marluxia, Vexen, Zexion, Luxord, Larxene and Xigbar will go and obtain the fertilizer and then make a run for dog food. We rendezvous at the self check-out and then make a pit stop at McDonalds. We all have our assignment! To the Organization XIII bus!"
Xemnas ran outside. Everyone else went at a rather slow pace.
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After much screaming and pleading the ride to Walmart was finally over.
Xemnas led the rest of the Organization off the bus and through the parking lot. He was mumbling to himself about why he lives with such wimps. He just grazed that van! He wasn't going to hit it! Of course that traffic cop didn't exactly agree.
Once inside Xemnas scoped the battle field. He inhaled deeply. "Do you smell that team? It smells like discount shopping."
"I dunno know. I smell something, but I don't think it's the shopping." Axel whispered into Roxas' ear.
"Okay! We all know what to do! Stick to the plan and we will survive this! Good luck!" Xemnas got himself a cart and headed off to the dry food aisle.
The ones that Xemnas had left behind all looked at each other.
Axel and Demyx both jumped on the handicapped carts and raced down the aisle. Zexion headed for the book aisle. Roxas sulked his way over to the hair style products. Larxene grabbed a cart and headed for the ladies… ahem, toiletries. Xigbar left to check on the ammunition supply. Xaldin stuck his gum under the table at McDonalds and "accidentally" walked into the girls' bathroom. Marluxia went to the outdoor section to find fertilizers.
Vexen slunk off. There was only one thing he had ever wanted to do at Walmart. He followed a worker through the swinging doors and into the freezer. He found the milk, pushing one slightly to the left in order to spy on unsuspecting shoppers.
Someone tapped on his shoulder. "Excuse me, but this area is off limits, I need you to leave."
"Off limits? Then you wouldn't mind if I…" Vexen slugged the unsuspecting employee square in the jaw, instantly knocking him out. He removed the employee's vest and button, which were coincidentally his size… He put them on and headed out through the swingy doors.
Dressed in his brand new get up, Vexen walked down the freezer aisle and started to look at the assorted ice creams.
"Excuse me? Can you please tell me where I can find soy milk?" A shopper asked Vexen.
"I'm sorry," Vexen said. "but I don't work here." He than walked off leaving the customer confused.
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While Vexen starts up his brand of mayhem, Axel and Demyx were stirring up some of their own.
Both had been racing the scooter carts up and down the aisle until the manager found them. They finally got away after they hid behind a shelf of alarm clocks.
The two didn't hesitate to set all the clocks to ring at the same time. Not one clock was missed. No digital or dial clock was spared from their never ending need to cause trouble.
All the clocks were set to go off at eleven-ten. It was now eleven o' clock. They had ten minutes to set each clock. It was managed in about seven. The two cloaked trouble makers pretended to look at the jewelry as they waited for the clocks to go off and see what would happen.
As they waited the all call went off. "Clean up in aisle seventeen!"
Axel collapsed to the ground and started screaming, "THE VOICES ARE BACK!"
Demyx started to laugh hysterically, everyone else just kinda looked at them like they were crazy, and then walked off hoping that it wasn't contagious.
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Xemnas stood looking at the Trix. For him, this was a rather difficult decision. He could get the box with a sponge-bob pencil topper, the Trix stamp roller, or the fruit-ified kaleidoscope. Xemnas shrugged and swiped all of the boxes off the shelf and into his cart. He started to head off to the rendezvous point.
As he walked a little girl came up to him and started to wag her finger at him. "Swiper no swiping!" She shouted.
Xemnas smiled and picked up a box of Trix from his cart. He held it over the little girl's head and taunted her. "You want it little girl!? Never! For all the Trix are mine!" He tossed the box back into his cart and walked away. The little girl's mother picked the girl up and ran from the store as fast as possible.
The in-store McDonalds was packed. Xaldin was sitting at a table eating a hamburger. Xemnas walked up to him with his massive cart of Trix.
"I thought you were chaperoning the children. Emphasis on Children."
Xaldin swallowed his bite of burger. "What? You mean Roxas and the two babies?"
"Yes! Who else would I mean!?" Xemnas sat down on the other side of the table.
"Decided not to. They can take care of themselves."
Xemnas sighed. He couldn't always be around to hold their hands. It was time that they shopped for themselves.
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Roxas was staring at two different brands of hair care products. One offered gravity defying style and twice as much avocado oil. The other one offered vitamins and dandruff control.
Sighing, and taking after his father figure, he swiped all of both brands into the cart. He picked up four tubs of his favorite styling shampoo and headed off to the rendezvous point.
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Marluxia's group had split up. Marluxia was in the plant department and looking at the lovely flowers and getting all the fertilizer he would need for his gardening fetish.
Luxord was eyeing a brand new poker table. He had already picked up several packs of cards.
Zexion was in the book section. A girl was standing near him reading a book. He moved ever so slightly to see what the title was. Then he asked in a quite voice; "Is that book any good?"
In a soft voice the girl responded; "Yes, yes it is."
"Cool." Zexion said in reply. He continued to look at the other books around him.
Xigbar had long since moved from the ammo aisle. He was now passing by the ladies lingerie. He smirked and picked up a thong. He tried to imagine it on Larxene. Not the most pleasant image he had ever imagined. He decided that he would buy it and stuff it in Roxas' dresser to blackmail him.
Larxene was already checking out. She had bought all the things she would need for a few months. Before anyone could notice her she went and put all the things on a hidden place on the bus. She went back into the store and waited with Xemnas and the others.
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Demyx went up to the cashier with a small bag of M&M's. "Excuse me miss," He said. "but can you place this on layaway for me?"
The cashier took the M&M's and placed them on layaway for him. When Axel tried to get her to place a bag of M&M's on layaway from him, she looked at him as if he were crazy.
Demyx snickered.
"Why did it only work for you?" He asked.
Demyx pointed to himself and smiled. "It's because I have a baby face."
"Yeah right." Axel said. "Baby face my ass."
Demyx looked at his Mickey Mouse watch and sighed. "We better get to the self check out." He said.
Axel looked down at his Power Rangers watch. "You're right," He said. "let's go."
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"The weight does not match the number of items scanned." A robotic voice on the self-check out said as Xemnas scanned a box of Trix and placed it in the bag.
"Son of a bitch!" Xemnas yelled, getting some stares from other customers. "I scanned the box and placed it in the bag, what more do you want from me!?"
Xemnas started to take the box of cereal out of the bag when the robotic voice sounded again; "Not enough weight for all scanned items."
"Damnit! This thing can't make up its mind." Xemnas placed the box back into the bag.
"The weight does not match the number of items scanned." The voice said.
Xemnas kicked the machine. "Please press payment type." The machine said. Xemnas rubbed his temples and began scanning his items again.
Roxas and the others had long since given up on the self-check out and stood in line for a cashier. They were waiting at the exit for Xemnas to finish.
Everything seemed to be going well. Xemnas selected his payment type and pulled out his credit card. He swiped it through the card slot.
"No bastante peso para todos los artículos escudriñados."
"What the hell!?" Xemnas roared. He stomped his foot. "If you're going to work here learn English damnit!"
"No bastante peso para todos los artículos escudriñados."
"What are you saying to me!?" Xemnas screamed. The rest of the Organization went out the doors. They didn't want to be associated with the self-check out psycho.
"No bastante peso para todos los artículos escudriñados." The machine said.
"NO!" Xemnas shouted. "All I want to do it go home and enjoy a bowl of Trix!" Number One pointed at the Walmart worker standing at the help desk. "You!" He screamed. "It's your job to help customers like myself! Get your ass over here and help me buy my delicious breakfast food!"
The worker came up and pressed a few buttons. He swiped Xemnas' credit card and walked away as Xemnas snatched his receipt, loaded his bags back onto his cart and marched out the doors to the Organization XIII bus.
Back home Xemnas was finally enjoying his bowl of Trix, Roxas got his hair just the way he liked it, Marluxia took care of his flowers, Larxene handled her girl problems and all was right with the world.
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Ammy: By the way, we appreciate all our reviewers!
Terin:So please do!
