Summary: When strange things start happening around Halloween, Calvin and Hobbes begin suspecting that Socrates' two hundred year old mansion is haunted.
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123
The screen starts out black. In the background there's the sound of two men arguing, followed by a gun shot.
The sound of a man moaning in pain is heard as well as footsteps and then the slamming of a door.
Bright red letters fade onto the screen, followed shortly by the title card.
Nobody has lived there in over fifty years...
Pranking the Ghosts
Halloween was the next day in Calvin and Hobbes' neighborhood. The streets were decorated with Jack-O-Lanterns, inflatable ghosts and witches, plastic gravestones, and one house even had a cardboard vampire that growled at you when you stepped on a button.
The camera pans down the street to Calvin's house and slowly starts to zoom in on it. A voice rings out.
"HOBBES!!"
Calvin was searching the house in vain.
"HOBBES, I ORDER YOU TO GET OUT HERE AND FACE YOUR FEARS!"
Hobbes would not come out.
"I'M GOING TO COUNT TO THREE, AND THEN I WANT TO SEE YOUR STRIPY BUTT OUT HERE! ONE! TWO!"
"Calvin, stop yelling!" Mom groaned.
"But I can't find Hobbes!" Calvin complained.
"Well, that's nice, but you don't need to broadcast it coast to coast! Just look for him quietly."
Calvin's eyes popped open.
"Of course!" he said. "If I continue to shout for him to show up, he'll know where I am and get farther away from me! On the other hand, absolute silence means absolute secrecy! It so crazy it just might work!"
Mom rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. Just be quiet."
"Check."
Mom walked away, leaving Calvin to his own devices.
Being as quiet as he could, Calvin slipped around the house, checking every direction for Hobbes.
Then he noticed something.
There was a sound coming from nearby. A sort of metallic rattling sound was heard.
Calvin grinned and listened carefully.
It was coming from behind a door in the hall.
He opened it and saw the water heater behind it. He opened the door on the side of it, revealing Hobbes to be cowering inside.
Calvin grinned smugly.
"It's amazing what you'll find if you just clam up," he told the audience.
Then he spoke to Hobbes.
"I don't even wanna know how you got in there," said Calvin.
"It's probably for the best," Hobbes replied, climbing down.
"Hobbes, this is ridiculous! Halloween is just a day for kids to get candy and be under the false delusion that they're scary."
"But…but the ghost…!" Hobbes whimpered.
"Oh, we haven't seen him for two years! What makes you think he's gonna come back now of all times?!"
Hobbes thought as hard as he could for an answer.
Calvin continued. "Besides, we have to get ready for the candy raid! We're going for a big run this year! I've got my Stupendous Man costume ready for the year! I asked Mom to make you a Tiger Lad costume. It's essentially a blue mask and cape."
Hobbes looked at him unsurely.
"Uh…," he said.
"Come on! I'll show you!"
Calvin took Hobbes up to their room and ducked into the closet. He came back out holding the blue mask and cape.
"Here! Try them on!"
Hobbes looked uncertain, but he complied with the request. He put the cape on around his neck and placed the mask over his head. Then he looked at himself in the mirror.
"Hmmm…," he said. "Not bad. Cape's the right length… The mask extra ear holes…"
"Yeah, it's a piece of work," Calvin said, looking it over. "Think you're ready to take on the world of evil as Tiger Lad?"
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
"I'm not sure I want to be named Tiger Lad," he sighed.
Calvin simply grinned and pulled out a plastic pumpkin that had a handle on it.
"Candy, here we come!" he said, grinning madly.
Hobbes grinned.
"Eh, who knows?" he said. "Maybe we'll have a normal Halloween for once."
Meanwhile, at his mansion a few blocks down, Socrates was hard at work. He was setting his house up for the annual Halloween pranks. While he was trick-or-treating with the others, he would leave the pranks to go off on their own, therefore keeping any other trick-or-treaters from taking the candy at his house.
Right now, he was sitting at his desk drawing on some blueprints.
"Alright, let's see…," he said. "If I put the ropes on the sidewalk and cover it with leaves, I should be able to fling them into the wading pool filled with ketchup, and then an anvil will land on the opposite end of the teeter-totter, and fling the kid and the pool over my house and into the forest!"
Then he remembered something. He quickly drew a few more pictures on the blueprints.
"Just add some mattresses on the landing target," he said quickly. "Don't want to hurt some little kid."
With that, he rolled up the blueprints and took them towards the door.
"Alright, now to start construction," he said cheerfully.
Whistling to himself, he left his room and made his way towards the elevator.
As he walked, however, he heard a noise coming from above him.
CREEEEAAAAK!
Socrates looked up.
"Hello?" he asked the ceiling.
Nothing happened.
Socrates shrugged it off and carried on towards the elevator.
CREEEEAAAAK!
Socrates whipped around and glared at the ceiling.
"Stop it!" he ordered.
CREEEEAAAAK!
Socrates continued to stare.
"Huh," he said. "That's the attic."
He decided to investigate, so he went down the hallway again and came to a part of the hall where the ceiling had a door in it with a rope dangling from it.
Setting the blueprints aside, Socrates jumped up and grabbed the rope and with a good hard yank, managed to pull the door down, revealing some wooden stairs. Quietly, Socrates scurried up them and into the dusty attic.
When he got there, he found tons of boxes and such, but nothing out of the ordinary.
"Hello?!" he called. "Anyone up here, because if you are then you shouldn't have put the stairs up! Hello?"
CREEEEAAAAK!
Socrates heard the creaking floorboards again.
Gulping, Socrates looked around a bit more thoroughly. He searched some of the attic, but soon got bored and started to leave.
"This is ridiculous," he muttered. "There's no one here."
CREEEEAAAAK!
Socrates jumped.
"Except you," he said to no one in particular.
He quickly ran down the stairs and slammed the stairs back into the ceiling and slamming the door back into place.
There was a pause as he picked the blueprints back up.
"Well, that was weird," he muttered, and he made his way down the hall to the elevator again.
As he walked, he passed a bathroom that had its door open. As he passed it, the door suddenly slammed shut.
SLAM!
Socrates jumped.
"What the heck…?" he asked.
SLAM!
Suddenly, his bedroom door slammed shut.
Socrates stared at it.
SLAM!
Another door slammed shut.
Feeling as though someone was watching him, Socrates made a mad dash down the hall towards the elevator again.
SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!
Socrates ran past all the slamming doors in slight panic and quickly dove into the elevator, quickly slamming the doors shut.
He sat in the elevator, gasping for air.
"Phew!" he gasped. "What is going on?!"
Cowering in the elevator, he couldn't shake the feeling that eyes were looking at him. He checked all around the small room, but he knew he was alone.
"Okay, okay," he said, catching his breath. "Pull yourself together… Nothing's happening… It's all in your imagination…"
DING!
"MOTHER!" he shrieked, jumping in the air.
Then he realized that the elevator had just stopped moving, he meaning he had to get out now.
"Oh, I knew that," he said, standing up again.
Brushing himself off, he left the elevator and made his way to the front door.
"Everything is fine," he whispered to himself. "It's just the house. I'll talk to Elliot about getting it fumigated."
And with that he walked calmly out of the mansion.
But when he went to close the door behind him, the doors suddenly slammed themselves shut.
SLAM!
Socrates stared at them in surprise.
Then he noticed something on the doors.
There were gold plaques that were covered in grime that he had never noticed before.
Squinting carefully, he noticed they said, "Established in 1805."
Socrates grinned.
"Well, that explains it!" he said, feeling relieved. "The house is just over a hundred years old! Phew! Glad that's over!"
And with restored vigor, Socrates set off to set up his Halloween prank.
Later that day, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman arrived at the mansion to find Socrates busily raking some leaves.
"Hey, Socrates!" Hobbes called.
Socrates looked up and waved.
"Hello, boys! Happy Halloween's Eve!"
Everyone stopped and stared at him.
Socrates stared back.
"Uh…," said Andy at last. "Are you aware of how incredibly lame that sounded?"
Socrates flinched. "Yes, yes, I am just now realizing that."
Calvin rolled his eyes and proceeded to walk down the walk to the mansion, but Socrates stopped him.
"Whoa, hold it, Cally!" he called. "You don't want that to detonate too soon!"
Calvin halted and stared at him.
"Want what to detonate too soon?" he demanded.
"My Halloween pranks!" Socrates explained. "Every year, while I'm out trick-or-treating, I set up different pranks all around the mansion. I have set up approximately twenty-one booby traps around this entire building."
"Mm-hmm," said Sherman. "I'm guessing your raking the leaves has something to do with one of them?"
Socrates nodded. "Yep. Prank number twelve," he said proudly.
The others rolled their eyes.
"Anyway, what brings you all here?" he asked.
There was a pause.
"What are you talking about?!" Calvin shouted. "You called us!"
Another pause.
Socrates' face lit up.
"Oh, right! Come on in! Watch your step there, Calvin. You're about to step into Prank Number Seventeen!"
Calvin carefully stepped over a patch of ground, and they carefully followed Socrates as though he were a sheep in a field of landmines.
They entered the mansion and looked around.
"Be careful around here," Socrates warned. "Some doors have been randomly slamming for some reason, so don't stick your fingers through the open ones."
The others simply nodded.
As they headed towards the stairs, Calvin noticed someone walking away from them down a hallway.
"Hey, Socrates," he said, turning away from the hall for a second. "Who's that?"
Socrates looked down the hallway Calvin was pointing to.
"Who?" he asked.
Calvin looked at the hallway.
Whoever it was had vanished.
"Huh," he said. "That's odd. I saw someone walking down there."
Socrates shrugged.
"Eh, it's probably just an insurance salesman friend of Elliot's parents," he replied. "They have a lot of important friends come around here sometimes."
And with that, he led the others up the stairs.
Calvin paused to look down the hallway again, and then followed them upstairs.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stood in Socrates' bedroom, waiting for him to come out of his closet.
"So, what's this costume?" Andy asked, leaning back on the bed.
"You'll see!" Socrates said from inside the closet.
"I beginning to doubt that very much," said Calvin, glancing at his watch.
"Oh, you guys have no appreciation for suspense."
"Hey, I'm still waiting for Red Dwarf wrap up that cliffhanger that's been hanging there for nearly nine years," Sherman snorted. "How's about getting that costume on before then, huh?"
"Fine, fine, I'm ready," Socrates said.
Suddenly, Socrates burst from the closet in a Batman outfit.
"TAA-DAA!" he said triumphantly.
Everyone stared at him in surprise.
"Okay…," Calvin said at last. "Now what?"
There was a pause.
"Uh…," Socrates said awkwardly. "I guess I'll take it off now."
Everyone groaned.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Calvin sighed, and he walked out the door.
Calvin looked around the hallway and spotted the bathroom just down the hall.
As he approached it, he heard footsteps. Thinking it was one of the others, he turned around to look.
Then he saw that it was that same man again, but he was walking away from him and going down the stairs.
Calvin arched an eyebrow, but simply waved it off and went into the bathroom.
Hobbes, Andy and Sherman were waiting for Socrates to come back out of the closet.
As they waited, the door slammed shut.
SLAM!
They all jerked their heads up.
"What was that?!" Socrates shouted from inside the closet.
"I think Calvin slammed the door shut," said Hobbes, walking over to it.
He attempted to open it, but suddenly found it was locked.
"What the heck…?" he said, grunting as he pulled the door.
Andy and Sherman watched in confusion.
"CALVIN, OPEN THIS DOOR!" Hobbes shouted.
Socrates stepped out of the closet and looked at him.
"Oh, hang on," he said, pushing Hobbes aside. "Let me see."
Socrates pulled on the door as hard as he could. He strained as he tugged at the handle.
"Come on, come on!" he moaned.
"Calvin, this isn't funny!" Andy said through the door. "Let us out!"
"Here, let me try something," said Sherman.
They all cleared a path for Sherman, who quickly squeezed himself under the door.
They paused for a moment.
"Uh, Calvin's not here," said Sherman from behind the door.
The others exchanged glances.
Calvin, meanwhile, had just finished his business, and he set to work on washing his hands. He was quietly humming to himself as he went about it, and he was just toweling off when he heard a noise.
CLUNK!
He stopped and looked up.
"What was that?" he asked.
CLUNK!
He looked all around the bathroom. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.
CLUNK!
Then he saw the air ducts.
CLUNK!
Arching an eyebrow, Calvin climbed up onto the counter and looked inside the vent.
CLUNK!
Looking determined, Calvin pulled a screwdriver out of his pocket and started to unscrew the cover on the vent. Four screws later, he was able to shine a flashlight more carefully into the vent.
He looked up into for a long time, but he could see the source of the noise.
"That's weird," he said.
As he got down from the counter, he heard another noise.
CLICK!
This one came from the door.
It was the lock.
"What the…?" he pondered.
He tried to open it, but then found he was trapped.
"Hey, let me out! SOCRATES, YOUR DUMB DOOR PRANKED ME! LET ME OUT!"
By now, Sherman had found a hairpin and was carefully picking at the lock, and soon, it clicked open.
"Got it! Try it now!" he called.
The doorknob he was sitting on suddenly turned and he slid off and grabbed onto it again, more frantically this time.
"Careful!" he shouted.
Hobbes opened the door.
"There we go!" he said triumphantly. "Now then, where's Calvin?"
They looked around as Andy scooped Sherman back up and placed him on his shoulder.
"LET ME OUT! I CAN'T LIVE IN A BATHROOM! IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE!"
They all turned and heard the pounding coming from the bathroom door.
"Oh, there he is," said Andy casually.
They walked over and tried to open the bathroom door.
"Calvin, what are you doing in there?" Hobbes asked.
"Being trapped! What's it look like? GET ME OUT!"
Andy took Sherman in his hand held him up to the lock.
Sherman carefully picked the lock, and they were able to get Calvin out.
"Finally!" Calvin complained. "Now what's the big idea trapping me in a bathroom?!"
"We were just about to ask you the same question!" said Socrates, glaring at him.
"What are you talking about?"
"We were just locked in my bedroom!"
"Oh, so you guys get a room with a bed, and I get the room with a tub? That hardly seems fair!"
There was a long pause.
Suddenly…
SLAM!
They all looked up.
A closet door suddenly slammed shut.
"Oh, by the way, I think something's up with your air ducts," Calvin said, showing him the removed air vent cover. "There was a weird clunking sound."
"Something weird is going on around here," said Hobbes, looking around nervously.
SLAM!
The bathroom door slammed shut again behind Calvin, who jumped in surprise.
WHAM!
They looked back at the end of the hall and saw that the attic stairs and fallen out of the ceiling.
They stared at them in shock.
"Uh…Socrates?" Andy asked. "How much did your family know about this house before they bought it?"
Socrates nervously shook his head.
"Don't worry," he said. "The house is just really old! Over one hundred years! It's nothing!"
The others looked at him unsurely.
"Well, maybe we should get going," said Hobbes.
"Yeah," said Calvin. "I'm not sure I should be here anymore."
Calvin and Hobbes started running towards the stairs, and Andy and Sherman followed after them.
Socrates continued to look around at the now closed doors.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman rocketed to the stairs.
Then they spotted the man Calvin had seen earlier.
"Hey!" Calvin shouted. "Excuse me! Who are you?"
The man didn't stop. He just walked past the base of the stairs and disappeared around the corner.
Calvin ran after him, but soon found that the man had vanished.
"Hey, where'd he go?" he demanded.
Hobbes grabbed his shoulders.
"I don't know, and I don't care!" Hobbes said frantically. "Let's get the heck out of here!"
They all ran from the mansion, leaving it behind.
Socrates was left behind, because, well, let's face it, he lives there. He just stood there, looking around nervously.
The next day was Halloween.
Calvin and Hobbes were dressed as Stupendous Man and Tiger Lad, and they were getting ready to leave.
"Have fun, Calvin," said Mom.
"Oh, we will," said Calvin, who was incredibly excited. "Let's go, Hobbes!"
Hobbes followed on behind Calvin, holding his own plastic pumpkin.
"Okay, I think I'm okay," he said. "I should be just fine."
Just then, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.
"WE'RE FINISHED!" he shrieked, promptly diving into some bushes.
"Hobbes, it's just us," said Andy.
Hobbes looked and saw Andy wearing an alien costume. It was a shiny silver cloak with two silver balls sticking out the top of his head.
Sherman was on his shoulder, but he wasn't in costume. He was rolling his eyes at Hobbes.
"You're a disgrace to your own kind," he snorted.
"Thank you," said Calvin, nodding to Sherman.
Hobbes grumbled and climbed out.
"Where's Socrates?" he asked.
"He's coming," said Andy. "By the way, Calvin, I looked up the information on Socrates' mansion like you asked me to."
"Great. What'd you come up with?" Calvin asked.
As Andy was pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket, Socrates came up in his Batman outfit.
"Hey, guys!" he said triumphantly. "Ready for trick-or-treating?!"
"Yeah, just a minute," said Calvin, waving him off. "What did you find, Andy?"
"What's going on?" asked Socrates.
"I looked up the history of your mansion, Socrates," said Andy. "The info I got was pretty grim."
"What's it say?" asked Hobbes.
Andy read from the paper.
"Well, the house itself was built in 1805," he said. "It says there was an accidental killing in that house during the tenure of the first owners."
Everyone raised an eyebrow.
Andy continued.
"Afterwards, only five more families lived in it as the years went on, and each one only lasted a few years, and they all vanished shortly after moving out. The house would just sit there for several years at time in between families. Finally, no one lived in it from 1953 until now, when Socrates and Elliot and those other people moved in."
There was a long pause.
Socrates finally snorted.
"Nonsense," he said. "It's probably just… It can't be a… It's not haunted, alright?!" he insisted.
The others stared at him.
"Look, can we just go trick-or-treating now?!" he complained.
"Fine, fine," said Calvin, "but I want to take a more thorough look at that house tonight."
Socrates rolled his eyes.
"Do what you want," he said. "You're not gonna find anything!"
The others shrugged and started trick-or-treating.
A few hours later, Calvin and Hobbes were arriving back at home, both struggling under the weight of the full candy pumpkins. They were loaded to the brim.
"Come on, Hobbes," Calvin grunted. "Let's get these up to our room, and then we can go scope out Socrates' mansion!"
Hobbes simply grunted in response.
Mom looked up from her book.
"Well, I see you had a good night," she said.
Calvin simply nodded and headed up to the stairs.
"Well, it's time for bed, so you can enjoy your candy tomorrow," she said.
Calvin looked up.
"But Mom, we need to go to Socrates' house and figure out what's up with the haunting!" he exclaimed.
Mom rolled her eyes.
"Yes, well, that's too bad," she said. "Now go to bed."
Calvin groaned angrily, and then shoved the candy pumpkins and Hobbes upstairs.
Once there, Hobbes immediately started to get into bed.
"Well, so much for that," he said. "We tried, we failed, goodnight."
Calvin stopped him.
"Hobbes, we're still going," he said.
Hobbes stared at him. "But your mom said we couldn't!"
Calvin arched an eyebrow and stared at him.
Hobbes sighed.
"Right, I forgot. You don't care."
"Correct. We'll sneak out."
Hobbes groaned.
Later that night, Calvin and Hobbes tied their bed sheets together and lowered them out the window, and then loaded the bed with pillows to make it look like they were still there.
Quickly, Calvin armed himself with all the inventions he could grab, and then they slowly climbed down the sheets.
They checked around the street and spotted Andy and Sherman just down street waiting at their house.
They quickly joined up and ran down to the mansion to face God knows what.
Cautiously, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman walked up Socrates' walkway.
...In order to avoid all the booby traps he still had set up.
Slowly, Calvin opened the door, and peeked inside.
Socrates had all the lights on.
Calvin stepped into the house, the hypercube held in his hand.
"S–Socrates?" He started, as Hobbes, Andy and Sherman entered.
"Yes?" Socrates called.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman turned, and looked into the livingroom.
Socrates was sitting on his couch, munching on candy and watching David Letterman.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at him.
"Gee, Socrates," Andy said. "You just found out that your house is being haunted by a tormented spirit. You sure are taking it well."
"Oh, come on," Socrates insisted. "My house isn't haunted. I've been here long enough to know that."
There was a pause.
"He only moved in, what, two years ago?" Hobbes asked.
Socrates rolled his eyes.
"Look, if you guys are so insistent on searching my house, then be my guest." He said. "Elliot's parents are at some Halloween party and Elliot is at some other Halloween party, so you have the whole place to yourselves. Just leave me out of it."
"Oh come on, Socrates!" Calvin demanded. "You know as well as I do that something is going on here. You're part of it, whether you like it or not."
"Pppppthhh." Socrates said, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head.
CREEEEEEEEAAAAK!!
Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all looked up towards the attic.
CCC–CC–CCC–CCC–CREEEEEAK!!!
"That's been happening all day." Socrates grumbled. "Stupid two hundred year old house."
"Socrates!" Sherman growled. "It's not the house!"
Suddenly, the door leading to the closet slammed shut.
SLAMM!!
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman jumped.
Socrates stood up, and started walking towards the kitchen.
"Socrates, come on!" Hobbes yelled. "You can't blame that on the house!"
"Just watch me." Socrates sniffed.
Just then, something else happened.
Something that made Socrates's blood run cold.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGGH!!!!!!"
A terrible shriek filled the entire house.
Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman froze.
There was a long moment of silence.
Socrates' eyes went up towards the attic.
"Wasthat the house, Socrates?" Andy asked, nervously.
Socrates eyes went from Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman then back up to the attic.
Then, he heaved a sigh.
"OK, fine." He said. "We can scout the house out. Just so I can prove to you that there's nothing here."
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman nodded.
"OK, Calvin said, as Socrates walked up them. "Here's the plan,"
He began pacing back and forth in front of them.
"We're going to explore the house. Every single crack. But, we need to stick together. It's extremely important that we stick together. Now then..."
Calvin turned back to the group.
Hobbes had disappeared.
Calvin stared at them for a long throbbing moment.
"OK, maybe we better split up." He said, finally.
Socrates did a solute.
"I'll go through the bottom floor here, Andy Sherman, you take on floor two, Socrates, you can handle the top floor, and Hobbes can check out wherever it is he's at right now."
"What about the attic?" Andy asked.
"We'll meet back at this spot in one hour and we'll secure the attic all together." Calvin said. "Here, each of you take an invention."
Calvin reached into his pocket, and pulled out the hypercube.
He pulled out three inventions. The MTM, the Time Pauser, and the Scream Horn.
He handed the Time Pauser to Socrates and the Scream Horn to Andy.
"Crateso, if the ghost attacks you just freeze time with that and get the heck out of there!" Calvin ordered.
"Uh huh" Socrates said, rolling his eyes.
Calvin turned to Andy and Sherman.
"The Scream Horn creates a pretty ear rattling screech." He said. "If the ghost comes after you, this should be enough to slow it down so you can get away."
"Should?" Sherman demanded.
"Well, what do you want, a gold plated guarantee?" Calvin demanded.
"Yeah, actually that would be nice." Andy said.
"Too bad. I'm all out of those." Calvin replied.
Andy, Sherman and Socrates rolled their eyes.
"Alright men, move out!" Calvin yelled, spinning around. "We'll meet back here at one hundred hours!"
And with that, Calvin rushed off, holding the MTM.
Socrates, Andy and Sherman paused.
"Did he mean at one in the morning, or in four days?" Socrates asked, finally.
"Just get in the elevator." Sherman sighed.
Socrates shrugged, and the trio turned and walked towards the elevator.
"Alright, MTM," Calvin said, looking around the livingroom. "You are me eyes and ears!"
A hologram popped out of the machine.
When did you become deaf and blind?
"Shut up," Calvin growled. "I need you to scan this entire house for any increase in radioactivity or whatever it is ghosts increase."
Processing...
Calvin waited.
Then, the hologram changed.
Abnormal magnetic activity in current location.
"Pin point." Calvin ordered.
Radioactive increase in ten yards due west.
Calvin looked around
Everything seemed normal.
The livingroom was empty.
But Calvin couldn't shake the feeling of someone watching him.
Just then, he saw the faint outline of someone standing in the doorway to the closet.
Calvin whipped around.
"MTM, Flashlight!" He ordered.
Light streamed out of the tip of the MTM, and shown in the closet.
There was nothing there.
Calvin stared at it for a long moment, his eyes wide, the slowly began walking away, his eyes cutting from side to side.
Meanwhile, Hobbes was walking down the hallway on the second floor, looking around, nervously.
He came to Socrates' room.
Very slowly, he opened the door, and looked inside.
All the lights were on, and there was no one there.
Hobbes walked into the room, and closed the door.
He sighed, and sat down on Socrates' bed.
He looked around, terrified, making sure he was totally alone.
BRRIIIIING!!!
Hobbes jumped.
"YIKES!!!" He screamed.
He landed in a heap on the floor, and lay there, shivering.
BRRIIIIIING!!
Hobbes leaped to his feet, and looked around, frantically.
BRIIIIING!!
Suddenly his eyes fell on the phone on the desk next to him.
He snatched the receiver up, and pushed the ON button.
Then, he paused.
Very slowly, he held the phone up to his ear.
"H-hello?" He began.
Socrates was walking down his hallway, humming to himself, and carrying the Time Pauser along with him.
Everything had seemed normal so far.
There had been no more loud creaks from up in the attic and none of the doors around him had slammed shut.
He kept walking, looking around, casually, and whistling some random tune.
Suddenly, he stopped.
His eyes widened, as he looked straight ahead of him.
There was a darkened figure walking down the hallway away from him, slowly.
It was limping, slightly.
"HALT!" Socrates ordered, holding a hand up.
It kept walking.
"I am ordering you!" Socrates declared, pointing at it. "Stop or face the consequences!"
It kept walking.
"I'm warning you!" Socrates said, starting after it.
It kept walking.
"Alright, you asked for it, bub!" Socrates declared.
He whipped the Time Pauser out.
"Time to for no time!" He declared.
He pushed the button.
BOOM!!
A spiraling white shockwave exploded from the sides of the pauser, and spread out, stopping time, completely.
Socrates' eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open.
The figure kept walking.
The Time Pauser had had no effect on it!
The figure rounded a corner, and disappeared from sight.
Socrates watched in pure shock.
He looked down at the Time Pauser.
He stared at the little screen on the front.
TIME OFF
There was a long moment of silence.
Then, he heaved a sigh.
"Good one, Calvin," He muttered.
He pushed the button again, and kept walking down the hall.
Suddenly, he heard something.
Breathing. Heavy, raspy breathing.
He turned and looked over his shoulder.
He didn't see anything.
The breathing got louder, as if it was getting closer.
Socrates looked around, nervously, and rushed off down the hallway.
The breathing followed him.
Socrates raced through the hall, desperately, then finally came to a dead end.
He looked around at the wall in front of him.
Then, he heard a deep exhale behind him.
He spun around.
Suddenly, the light hanging at the end of the hall burned out, throwing that part of the hallway into darkness.
KA-COOM!
Then, the same thing happened to the next light over, and the darkness continued.
KA-COOM!
Then,it happened to next lamp, except this time, right when the light got brighter before going out, Socrates saw something.
KA-COOM!
It was a man. His skin was deathly pale, his head was hung low over his chest and he was limping.
Socrates backed into the wall as far as he could.
The lights all up the hall started going out, and with each blow out, it showed the man getting closer.
KA-COOM!
KA-COOM!
KA-COOM!
KA-COOM!
KA-COOM
Socrates began walking sideways along the wall, until he realized something.
There was a door right next to him.
Socrates grabbed the doorknob, ripped the door open, and rushed inside, just as the final light in the hall went dead.
KA-COOM!
Meanwhile, Andy and Sherman were walking along the second floor, looking around, nervously.
"Sherman?" Andy asked.
"What?" Sherman replied.
"Suppose there is a supernatural force invading this place," Andy began.
"Mm-hmmm," Sherman said.
"What is an extra powerful megaphone going to do to him?"
There was a long moment of silence.
"Calvin's the one who gave it to you, not me." Sherman said, finally.
Andy sighed.
Just then, he stopped.
"What?" Sherman asked, looking around.
"Listen," Andy whispered.
There was a pause.
Then, Sherman heard it.
Heavy breathing.
Very slowly, Andy and Sherman turned, and looked to their right.
Right beside them was a wooden door.
Andy and Sherman stared at it.
"Where do you suppose that leads to?" Andy asked, quietly.
"I dunno," Sherman said. "Dungeon, torture room, blood thirsty zombie, the mansion's balcony."
Andy looked at Sherman.
The hamster pointed at the door, again.
Andy looked around.
There were a pair of windows on each side of the door, both showing the outside.
"Ohh, good," Andy sighed. "I could go for some fresh air."
Without any hesitation, Andy walked over and opened the door.
He walked out onto the balcony, and looked around.
"OK," he said, putting Sherman down on the glass table, and sitting down in the swing. "I declare this part of the house spook free."
Sherman looked around.
"Andy, shouldn't we be getting back into the house?" He asked, quietly.
Andy looked around at him.
"Why?" He asked.
Suddenly, the light hanging on the balcony's roof, began flickering.
Andy and Sherman looked up at it.
The light was flickering like mad, then suddenly, died.
There was a pause.
"Eh," Andy shrugged. "We still have the bug zapper as a source of light."
ZZZZZZT!!
Right on cue, the blue light on the bug zapper went dead.
There was another pause.
"Well, I have my flashlight," Andy said, weakly, reaching into his pocket.
"You just don't want to go back in, do you?" Sherman sighed.
Andy rolled his eyes around.
"OK, look, to prove I'm not afraid..."
Andy stood up, and turned his flashlight on.
He then turned, and faced the door.
Suddenly, Andy gasped, and he dropped the flashlight.
Just as he shown the light on the window, he saw the pale face of a man staring out at him from it.
"What?!" Sherman asked, wheeling around.
"I saw... someone... something!" Andy gasped, backing up into the side of the balcony.
"Look, look, don't panic!" Sherman said, holding his paws up. "It was probably just the reflection off the window."
Andy ran over, out of sight of the window, and scooped Sherman up.
"Sherman, there was something in that window!" He hissed. "It was staringat me!"
"Well come on!" Sherman shrugged. "Ghosts have every right to stare at you as the next guy."
Andy turned and gave Sherman a totally blank stare, showing absolutely no emotion.
There was a pause.
Sherman blinked.
"OK, you can stop now." He said. "I get the point."
"The point is, I'm not going back in there!" Andy said, looking back up at the door in terror.
"Well, we're gonna have to go back in, eventually." Sherman protested. "Let's just move in, and keep that horn thing at the ready. If any rate, it will at least slow it down. If it's even there."
Andy took a deep breath.
"OK... OK... I'm going." Andy breathed, holding his chest.
He picked the Scream Horn up off the ground, and moved towards the door.
He was inches away from it, when suddenly, both he and Sherman thought they heard something.
A voice. A quiet whisper.
"Don't go in that house..."
Andy and Sherman looked behind their shoulder. An expression of pure fear on both their faces.
Suddenly, a pale hand reached out from the darkness, and grabbed Andy's arm.
Andy head spun around, and he tried to scream, but it died in his throat.
The hand yanked Andy and Sherman forward.
There was a loud whooshing sound, and suddenly, Andy and Sherman found themselves back inside the house.
"Hey!" Someone yelled.
Andy and Sherman spun around, and held up the Scream Horn in panic.
"STAY BACK!!" Andy warned, switching the machine on.
"Relax!" Calvin yelled, holding his hands up. "It's only me!"
Andy and Sherman looked around.
They were in the livingroom, again.
Andy slowly lowered the Scream Horn, shivering.
"Sorry, we're kind of on edge." Sherman said.
"I can tell." Calvin said, raising an eyebrow. "How did you get down here so quickly? You're supposed to be up on the second floor."
"Long story short," Andy said. "We hate this place. Can we leave?"
"No," Calvin said, glaring at them. "We stay until the ghost either kills us or we get rid of it."
Andy and Sherman groaned.
"I'm trying to track the ghost down right now with the MTM." Calvin said, moving forward, holding the CD player in front of him. "With any luck, we might be able to contact the guy and tell him to get lost."
Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.
"Now, MTM," Calvin continued. "Track down all radioactivity increases."
A hologram shot out of the MTM.
Well, for starters, your standing right in the middle of an abnormally magnetic spot.
Calvin blinked.
"Thanks, MTM, don't know what I'd do without ya," He grumbled.
Just then, all the doors around Calvin, Andy and Sherman slammed shut.
SLAM!
SLAM!!
SLAM!!
SLAM!!
SLAM!!
The trio looked around in terror.
"Help..." Andy whimpered.
Meanwhile, Socrates had wandered downstairs, and was currently walking down the hallway on the second floor.
You think he was terrified? Walking around, shivering and staring at all the darkened doorways in pure horror? Oh no, he was walking quite casually down the hallway. He was even whistling the Doctor Who theme song to himself.
I have no comment on this.
Socrates walked over to his bedroom door, and opened it.
First thing he spotted was Hobbes, shivering in the corner, staring at the telephone, which was laying on the ground with a dial tone coming from it.
"Hey, Hobbo!" Socrates said, cheerfully. "Are we going to go with mildly mortified, terribly disturbed or medically insane?"
Hobbes glared at Socrates.
"I can't believe you can prance through a haunted house, and keep that weird attitude of yours." He growled.
Socrates shrugged.
"Eh, it's my house, I'll act any way I like in it. Ghosts or not." He said. "What's the problem?"
"I just got a phone call from some vampire ghost thing screaming into the phone." Hobbes replied.
Socrates blinked.
"I get those phone calls all the time." He said. "I watched this video tape, once. Something about wells and wrinkled up teenagers or something like that. Real bad movie. Can see why they didn't put it on DVD. Anyway, as soon as I was done watching it, I got this freak on the phone telling me I had seven days to live."
Hobbes stared at him.
"One week later, all my TVs got stuck on that Relacore weight loss commercial. For weeks, afterward, I had to listen to that idiotic announcer reciting that stupid Relacore slogan! 'Relacore: The belly fat pill... ZZZZZT!!! Relacore: The belly fat pill... ZZZZZT!Relacore: The belly fat pill...' I about went insane!!" Socrates shouted, dramatically.
Hobbes stared at him.
"Couldn't you just turn the TV off?" Hobbes asked.
"What, are you mad?" Socrates demanded, offended. "It was my brand new 30 inch plasma screen! I needed to test it!"
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
"Well, anywho, one o'clock is in forty five minutes, better go check in on Calvin." Socrates said, standing up. "Care to join me?"
"Sure," Hobbes sighed, standing up. "Don't have anything better to do."
"That's the spirit!"
Socrates frolicked over to the door, and opened it.
Hobbes sighed, and followed.
Just then, he stopped.
So did Socrates.
Both tigers stared at the wall in front of them.
Hobbes' eyes rolled into the back of his head.
All the way down the hallway, the wall was covered in black hand prints.
There was a pause.
"Huh," Socrates finally said. "The ghost found my finger paint."
Hobbes glared at him.
Meanwhile, Calvin, Andy and Sherman were still standing in the middle of the livingroom, frozen in terror.
The doors had all slammed shut, and all lights had gone out.
Nobody dared moved.
Just then, a hologram popped out of the MTM.
It glowed in the darkness as Calvin read over the message.
Long range scans confirm radioactive decrease at 30 percent
Calvin looked around.
"It's... it's leaving!" He grinned.
"Where's it going?" Andy asked.
Calvin typed into the MTM.
The hologram changed.
Abnormal magnetic activity fifty feet skyward.
There was a moment of silence.
"That's the attic." Calvin said, quietly.
CREEEEEEAAK!!
Calvin, Andy and Sherman all looked upward in terror.
CCCC–CCC—CCREEEEEEAK!!!
Calvin spun around to the MTM.
"OK, MTM, things are looking bleak!" he hissed. "Quick, provide comedic relief!"
The hologram changed.
No.
Calvin stared at it.
"Fine, who needs you!" He growled at it.
He looked back up at Andy and Sherman.
"OK, we need to find Hobbes and Socrates," He said. "Where are they?"
"Present!" Socrates suddenly said.
Calvin, Andy and Sherman jumped.
Hobbes and Socrates had been standing beside Calvin for twenty seconds.
Calvin glared at them.
"How... do you do that?" He growled through gritted teeth.
"Because," Socrates said, patting Calvin on the head. "So, Creepo's in the attic?"
"Yeah," Andy said. "Which means we should avoid the attic at all costs!"
There was a long moment of silence.
"TO THE ATTIC!" Socrates declared.
Andy, Sherman and Hobbes groaned.
Calvin pulled his hypercube out.
"Alright, I have just about all my inventions." He said. "We could probably take the ghost on."
"What do you have?" Sherman asked.
"The MTM, Scream Horn, Time Pauser..."
"Doesn't work on ghosts," Socrates pointed out.
Calvin glared at him.
"Of course the Time Pauser doesn't work on ghosts. They exist outside of time. What did you think?" He demanded.
Socrates opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it.
Calvin turned back to his inventions.
"Mega-Shrinker 5000, Transmogrifier Gun and, of course, the hypercube."
"Sounds good to me," Socrates grinned.
"What's the plan?" Hobbes demanded.
"Walk through a dreary attic, spot a few interesting things that might help us, stare at them for a while, get attacked by ghosts and die." Calvin replied.
"He'sso positive," Andy growled.
Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all stared up at the attic door.
Very slowly, Calvin reached forward, and pulled the rope, to bring the stairs down.
It didn't move.
Calvin yanked on the rope.
It didn't budge.
Calvin lunged against the rope, this time.
This succeeded in only breaking the rope.
Andy, Sherman, Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances.
Calvin growled, and threw the rope away.
He turned on the MTM.
He pointed it at the sides of the trap door, and pushed a button.
ZAP!
A laser shot out of the CD player, and hit the crack between the door and the ceiling.
Calvin ran it along the sides, back and forth.
With each round, his expression got darker and darker.
Finally, he shut the laser off.
"Whatever is in there doesn't want us up there!" He growled, angrily. "The nerve of him! He's wiping out a perfectly good suspense scene!"
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
Socrates tapped his chin.
"Ya know," He thought out loud. "There's another entrance to the attic."
Andy, Sherman and Hobbes all turned and glared at Socrates.
"Right, good move, Crateso," Hobbes growled.
"Really? Where?" Calvin asked, eagerly.
"Follow me," Socrates said, walking off.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances, then moved forward after Socrates.
"Right here," Socrates said, pointing at a door on the wall. "Right here leads to a little room with a staircase up to the attic."
"Why didn't we just use this entrance?" Calvin demanded.
"The other one was creepier." Socrates shrugged.
"Okay, fine," Andy sighed. "Let's just go and get this over with.
He walked over and tried the doorknob.
The door didn't move.
"Oops, it's locked." Andy said. "Guess we can't go in. Too bad! I was really looking forward to that. Can we go now?"
Calvin ignored Andy, and walked up to the door, holding the MTM.
He held the CD player in front of the door.
"Take it out," He growled.
KA-BOOM!!
Hobbes, Andy and Sherman watched, helplessly as a blast of electricity shot from the MTM, and the door swung wide open.
"There we go. An entrance." Calvin said. "Socrates, after you."
He pointed into the room.
Socrates' eyes popped open.
"Me?" He demanded. "Why do Ihave to go first?"
"Your house. Move it." Calvin growled.
Socrates looked back and forth between Calvin and the door, sighed, then walked inside.
He looked around the small, dark, room.
He was unaware of a pale face staring at him with wide eyes, from up in the darkness of the attic.
"OK, the coast is clear." He grinned, turning to the group. "And here's the ladder."
He took hold a wooden ladder before him.
He looked upwards.
"And up there is the attic! Gold mine! Come on in!" He grinned.
"You two must enjoy attempting suicide." Hobbes muttered.
"We're adventurers." Calvin replied. "Let's go."
Calvin then started towards the door.
SLAM!!!
Calvin, Hobbes Socrates, Andy and Sherman all jumped.
The door had slammed shut.
Trapping Socrates inside.
"HEY!" Socrates shouted.
He rushed over and tried to open the door. It was locked.
"HELP! OPEN THE DOOR!" Socrates wailed.
Outside, Calvin held the MTM up over the door.
ZZZZZT!!
Another barrage of electricity blasted at the door.
Hobbes, Andy and Sherman covered their faces as it did so.
Calvin turned the MTM off and looked over at the door.
It was still shut.
Calvin glared at the CD player.
"I told you to open it! What's your problem?" He demanded
A hologram popped out.
The sudden increase in radioactivity has blocked the electric blast. Deal with it.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at the message.
"Thanks a bunch," Calvin grumbled.
CREEAAAAAK!!!
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all looked up towards the ceiling.
CCCREEAAAAAK!!!! GROOOOOAAAAAN!!
Their eyes moved across the ceiling, following the sound, as it went for the room Socrates was in.
Socrates looked up at the opening above him, which lead to the attic.
K-K-K-K-K-K-K CREEEEEEAK!!
Suddenly, from the darkness, a pale man leaned over the side of the attic opening, and its eyes fixed right on Socrates.
Socrates' eyes burst open.
The man lowered his head down, his eyes wide and bloodshot, and moved towards Socrates.
There was a pause.
Then, Socrates reacted.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!" He screamed, backing up against the wall, and flailing his arms in all directions.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, and Sherman jumped in alarm at Socrates' sudden outburst.
"HEEEEELP!!!!" Socrates shrieked, yanking at the doorknob. "THING!!! CREEPY!! NOT WANTING TO BE IN HERE AT THE MOMENT!!! WEIRD!!! PLEASE DON'T EAT MY BRAINS!!! I'M WARNING YOU!!! YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT ME!!! I'VE BEEN CONSUMING CANDY ALL NIGHT!!!!"
The ghost moved forward, its eyes still wide, and its mouth hanging open, slightly.
"Get out of the way," Andy said, stepping in front of Calvin and Hobbes.
He held up the Scream Horn, and pointed it at the door.
He flipped the switch to the ON position, and pulled the button on the handle down.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHH!!!!!
An ear piercing shriek emitted from the megaphone, rattling the walls.
The lock on the door clicked, and swung open.
Socrates came tumbling out.
Andy quickly turned the Scream Horn off.
He, Calvin, Hobbes and Sherman rushed to his side.
"Socrates, are you alright?!" Hobbes demanded, in terror.
Socrates looked around.
He stood up, and straightened himself up.
Then, he pointed at the door.
"Donot go in there!" He said. "WHOOO!!!"
Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.
"You're so weird." Calvin growled.
Socrates nodded and grinned.
"Well what do we propose we do, now?" Sherman demanded. "We can't get into the attic, this place is still haunted..."
"And Elliot and his parents are going to be coming home in about ten minutes," Socrates yawned, checking his watch.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at the red tailed tiger.
"Socrates," Hobbes began.
"Mmm, yes?" Socrates asked.
"Have you ever felt like you might be going insane?"
There was a small pause.
"Well," Socrates began.
"Of course he hasn't," Calvin growled. "Because it's already happened! You've just been attacked by a ghost, and your standing there as calm and bored as ever, and you've just informed us that we have ten minutes to de-haunt this place?!?"
"Yep, that about sums me up." Socrates nodded.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman groaned, loudly.
"OK," Calvin said, holding the MTM up. "We may still be able to get up into the attic."
"I wouldn't highly recommend that," Socrates stated.
"That's nice." Calvin said. "MTM, activate the transporter."
There was a moment of silence.
"Your MTM has a transporter?" Hobbes demanded.
"Yup." Calvin grinned. "It's pretty cool, too. Only there's one problem to it."
"What?" Andy asked.
"It drains just about half of the batteries." Calvin replied. "And due to the amount that I've used it since the last time I recharged it, we're probably going to be left with enough fuel to throw panic-y electric blasts around for about a minute or so."
Socrates, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at Calvin for a long moment.
"This is crazy," Hobbes sighed.
Teleportor activated.
"Ah, very nice," Calvin grinned, reached for the PLAY button.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Socrates asked.
"Nope." Calvin said.
And with that, he pushed the button.
KAZAP!
Immediately, Calvin and the gang all disappeared, and suddenly reappeared.
Inside the attic.
"Activate flashlight," Calvin said, as soon as they appeared.
Light poured out of the MTM, filling the attic with light.
There was nothing there. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around.
There was a moment of silence.
"I wonder if this place being haunted will effect the property value," Socrates considered, tapping his chin.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman turned and gave Socrates bewildered stares.
Socrates looked around the group.
"What?" he asked.
"Let's just find the ghost and get rid of it, Socrates," Andy said. "Then we can worry about the resale value,"
Socrates shrugged.
Calvin scanned the attic, moving the MTM's flashlight from side to side.
He looked in all the boxes, and checked all the corners.
Then he turned to Socrates.
"Socrates, this place is filled with blueprints!" He exclaimed.
Socrates nodded.
"Yeah, so?"
"You have an entire attic up here, and your cramming it with prank ideas?" Calvin demanded.
"What's wrong with that?" Socrates shrugged.
Calvin stared at him.
"Well what did you think I did with my prank plans when I was done with them? Throw them away? I like to keep records!"
"Socrates, your crazy! There are blueprints wrapped up in the boxes, tied up in corners, taped to walls..."
He pointed at the wall, which was totally invisible, as it was covered in blueprints.
"I mean come on!"
Calvin ripped on the blueprints off the wall.
There were a pair of eyes behind the wall of blue paper, staring off to corner of the attic.
The second the paper was pulled away, the eyes bolted around, and fixed on Calvin.
"ACK!" Calvin exclaimed.
"HELP!!" Hobbes screamed.
"MOTHER!!" Socrates shouted.
"AAAUGH!" Andy yelled.
"GASP!" Sherman cried.
Calvin began backing away, aiming the MTM at the wall.
"OK, spook!" He ordered. "I command you to identify yourself!"
The ghost stared at him.
"I am ordering you!" Calvin glared. "State your identity!"
It stared at him.
"What was your name in your previous life?" Calvin demanded. "HEY! I'm talking to you!"
"Yes, good, Calvin, please, provoke it." Hobbes said.
The ghost continued to stare at him.
Calvin glared at the ghost.
"OK, bub, if you don't want to be social, then too bad! Your gonna be! MTM! Engage!"
Suddenly the fan on the MTM roared to life, and started spinning.
All the paper flew from the wall in a blast of wind.
There was nothing behind it. Nothing but a wall.
Calvin growled.
"OK, this is really starting to get frustrating!" He warned. "Here we are stretching this story out, so you can be creepy and weird. SHOW YOURSELF!!!"
Suddenly, several boxes in the room, shot off the ground, and began hovering in the air.
Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around in terror.
Calvin stood his ground, and glared off into the darkness.
"Yeah, right, what are you going to do?" He demanded. "Give us paper cuts? MTM, override!"
Electricity surrounded the tip of the MTM.
ZZZZZZZT!!
The boxes all fell back to the floor.
Suddenly, the ghost appeared in front of Calvin.
It was a tall man who was balding, and wearing old fashioned clothes. His eyes were bloodshot.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGH!!!!!" It screamed, its eyes as wide as dinner plates.
"AAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, stumbling backwards.
The ghost vanished.
"Now you knock that off!" Calvin ordered. "You're a full grown ghost! I would expect you to be a little more mature than that!"
Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman began backing into the wall, rolling their eyes.
The attic began shaking.
Calvin stood up, and looked around.
"Hey!" he shouted. "Stop this at once! Calvin the Bold commandsyou!"
The attic kept shaking, and now, there were screeches of pain accompanied with it.
Calvin looked around in terror.
"What are we going to do?!" Hobbes wailed.
"RETREAT!!" Calvin screamed.
ZOOM!!
Hobbes had vanished.
How is Hobbes able to do that, especially with an insane ghost rampaging through? Again, I have no idea.
Calvin stared at the spot where Hobbes once stood.
"OK," He growled. "FOLLOW SUIT!!!"
There was a mad scramble, and Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rushed over to the door.
Calvin ripped the door open.
The ghost was behind it, hanging from the ceiling. Its eyes wide and its mouth hanging open.
"Uuuuuuuuuuhhhh!" It groaned, lowering down to Calvin's eye level.
Calvin slammed the door in its face.
"NOT THAT WAY!!!" He screamed, whirling around.
"Well, don't hurt it!" Socrates said, his brow furrowing.
Andy tried the trap door, trying to get out.
"It's still stuck!" He cried.
"How did that stupid cat get out of here?" Calvin growled.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!" A haunting moan rang out through the attic, and the shaking worsened.
Calvin looked all around the attic, his mind racing.
"Hold on a second!" He yelled, suddenly. "I'm getting a plan!"
He spun around to Socrates, Andy and Sherman.
Instead, he saw the wrinkled, wide eyed, gaping face of the ghost.
"UUUUUUUUUUHH!!!!" He gasped, reaching for Calvin.
"Back off!" Calvin growled, holding the MTM up.
The ghost vanished, revealing a terrified Socrates, Andy and Sherman.
Calvin ran up to them.
"From what I've heard on those TV documentaries on the Scifi Channel, ghosts are essentially just gas and electricity!"
They stared at him.
"Yes...?" Andy growled, through gritted teeth, motioning him to continue.
"We have to burn something!" Calvin grinned. "If I'm right, then the intense heat will drive it away! Being electrical and magnetic it couldn't stay! It would blow up!"
Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at Calvin.
"Or it will destroy my house," Socrates said, finally.
Calvin sighed.
"Socrates, put this into perspective. There's a twenty five percent chance it will destroy everything in here. But exactly what do you think theghost is about to do to your house?"
Socrates looked around.
Everything was still shaking, and it was obvious it wasn't going to keep standing for long
"Alright," Socrates said, finally. "But what did you intend on burning, exactly?"
Calvin's eyes went to the several boxes of blueprints next to him.
Socrates' eyes burst open.
"Oh no!" he exclaimed. "NO! No, no, no, no, no, NO!!! Extreme No-ing! NO!!"
"Do you have any better ideas?" Andy asked.
"Yeah, there's that for instance," Socrates said, pointing over his shoulder.
Calvin, Andy and Sherman turned.
There was a pile of wood behind him.
Calvin, Andy and Sherman stared at it for a long moment.
"You keep your firewood in your attic?" Sherman demanded.
"Something wrong with that?" Socrates asked.
Calvin rolled his eyes, and ran over to the pile.
He grabbed a couple pieces of wood, and carried them over to the floor.
Sherman studied the wood.
"Maple wood?" He asked, turning to Socrates.
"Yep," Socrates nodded. "Nothing burns better than maple wood."
Calvin rolled his eyes.
Then, he stood back, and turned the MTM on.
Suddenly the door Calvin had attempted to go through, flung open.
Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around.
A pale hand was reaching over the top, and pulling itself up into the attic.
"HURRY!!" Andy screeched.
Calvin frantically pushed some buttons on the MTM.
The ghost began pulling itself into the attic.
"OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!" It moaned, lifting its head up, and staring at Calvin with its bloodshot eyes.
Electrical
defense activated
Warning:
Low batteries
By this time, Socrates, Andy and Sherman had retreated to the wall, again.
Calvin looked up.
The ghost was gone.
Calvin looked around.
Suddenly, it reappeared in front of him.
"GAAAASP!!" It shrieked.
"ENGAGE!!!" Calvin screamed.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning shot from the MTM, and struck the logs, which immediately went up in smoke.
The ghost disappeared, again.
The wood suddenly caught fire, and began throwing up a thick cloud of smoke.
The house stopped shaking.
"Mmmmm.. Nice and cozy, isn't it?" Calvin grinned, holding his hands out to the fire.
Socrates, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.
There was a loud groan through the house.
Calvin turned a grin onto Socrates, Andy and Sherman.
"Remember this. The only way to beat a ghost is to attack it with a camping oven!"
Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.
By this time, the house had stopped shaking, and the violent screeches had stopped.
Calvin turned back around.
The door was still open, and the ghost was no longer there.
Instead, there was a thick greyish smog floating on the ground, below the smoke.
Calvin and the rest stared at it.
It lingered for a second, then, suddenly bolted forward.
Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched, as it zipped past them, and slipped through the crack in the window.
There was a small pause.
"Well, that was easy!" Calvin grinned. "The ghost is gone!"
"Off to bother some other house." Socrates sighed.
"Right! Not our problem, though!" Calvin chuckled. "MTM, put out the fire!"
Instantly, a blast of water burst from the tip of the MTM, and landed on the logs.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
A large cloud of smoke went up, and the fire was extinguished.
"Well," Calvin said, looking back towards the window. "Fires out, your house has been un-haunted, and all is as it should be. Now then, where's Hobbes?"
"I'm here," said a voice.
Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman wheeled around.
Hobbes stared at them.
Calvin lowered the MTM.
"How do you do that?" he growled, through gritted teeth.
Hobbes shrugged.
"Well, anyway, the mission was a success," Socrates said, stepping forward. "Now I can get some well deserved rest,"
"We never did find out who that guy was." Andy said, suddenly.
Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates turned and stared at him.
"Well we didn't," Andy shrugged.
"Actually, I did some more research on it, and found out who it was," Sherman said.
"Really? Who?" Hobbes asked.
"His name was Issac Avox." Sherman said.
There was a long moment of silence.
"What kind of mother names their kid that?" Calvin demanded.
Sherman shrugged.
"Anyway, he was the first person to live in this mansion." The hamster continued. "And he was a gambler. He often made a lot of deals that he couldn't back up. And, uh, a lot of people didn't like him..."
There was a pause.
"Yeah?" Socrates asked. "And then what happened?"
"I told you," Sherman sighed. "There was a killing in that house. Someone who Issac owed money to shot him."
There was a long moment of silence.
"So... he was ghost from then on?" Hobbes asked.
"Yep," Sherman nodded.
There was another pause.
"Huh, weird," Socrates said. "Well, anyway, Elliot and his parents are going to be home any minute, now! So I suggest you all get lost!"
Calvin glared at him.
"With pleasure," Andy said. "I can't wait to get out of this house!"
Andy then said his goodbyes to Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates, and rushed off with Sherman.
Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates watched them go.
"Well," Hobbes said, turning around. "I suppose we'd better be heading back, also before Calvin's parents figure out he's missing from bed."
"Yep-er-doodles!" Socrates grinned.
"There's still one last thing that I don't understand though," Calvin started, tapping his chin.
Hobbes and Socrates turned and stared at him.
"Where did the ghost go?" Calvin asked, turning to the two tigers.
There was a long pause.
"Maybe he went to the bar to get some boos." Socrates suggested. "Get it? Boos?!"
"Socrates, have you ever noticed that every time you tell a joke, it's even worse than the last one you came up with?" Hobbes asked.
"Yes," Socrates grinned.
Calvin and Hobbes rolled his eyes.
"Well, it doesn't concern us, right now, so I'm not going to worry about it." Hobbes said.
"Good point, Hobbes," Calvin nodded. "Oh, and just so you know, that documentary I saw told me that ghosts can't actually hurt people or kill them. All they can do is scare you half to death!"
There was a long moment of silence.
Hobbes and Socrates turned murderous glares onto Calvin.
"I guess I should have mentioned that, earlier." Calvin considered, rubbing his chin.
"Socrates, what would you think about an early April Fools day, tomorrow?" Hobbes asked, turning to Socrates.
"Not a problem," Socrates said, cracking his knuckles. "You see why I keep records of my pranks?"
Calvin looked back and forth between Hobbes and Socrates and gulped.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the neighborhood, Moe was sleeping soundly in bed.
He had a huge bag of candy beside the bed. Most of it what he bullied out of other kids.
Suddenly, Moe heard something that made him wake with a start.
K-K-K-K-K-K-K CREEEEEAAAAAAAK!!!
Moe sat up in bed, and switched his lamp on.
"Hello?" He asked, looking up towards the attic.
Silence.
"Anyone there?"
Silence.
"Or not...?"
Silence.
Moe looked around for a moment, then suddenly, acquired a serious expression.
"Idiot, there's no one there. What am I, three?"
And with that, Moe laid back in bed, and switched the light off.
CLICK!
The End?
Voice work
Pamela
Segall Adlon
Calvin
Tom
Hanks
Hobbes
Ryan
Stiles
Socrates
Andrew
Lawrence
Andy
Colin
Mochrie
Sherman
Jennifer
Love Hewitt
Mom
Bill
Murray:
The ghost
Elizabeth
Daily Moe
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