Written by: CI and KP

Kevin and Carla listened in horror as their other two angelic friends, along with Brady and Cindy filled them in on what had occurred last night. The twosome had been asleep when Cindy had called, leaving Rose and Tess to bolt out the door to the hospital, so they had been terrified when an hour ago, Philip had carried the sedated little angel into the cabin and up the steps.

"I can't believe she would do this," Carla whispered through tears before she shook her head,
"Or maybe I do…I never could imagine one of them without the other…"

"You couldn't help but to look at she and Andrew and just know that they fit," Cindy remarked softly,
"And without him, nothing is fitting for her and she has no desire to keep doing this. Our whole family has tried and tried to reach her, but she just pulls farther away each day as if the pain is slowly destroying her."

"She looks awful," Kevin uttered shakily, feeling incredibly afraid at losing another of his closest friends and not sure if he could bear it. The pain of Andrew hasn't lessened and despite his sometimes tumultuous past with Monica, he loved her as well and she was his greatest link to Andrew as the three of them had worked together.

"You're going to have to keep an eye on her," Brady stated firmly, though his eyes shone with worry,
"I don't put it past her to try something like this again, so don't give her any opportunity or means to do so."

Before Brady could say anything more, Carla looked up sharply,
"Yesterday was the 24th, wasn't it?"

Tess felt tears filling her eyes,
"I never even thought about it," She uttered, choking on a sob,
"We all should have been with her yesterday…oh baby, I'm so sorry…"

Seeing the confused glances around her, Carla spoke up tearfully,
"Yesterday was the anniversary of the day she and Andrew first met…they celebrated it every year…"

At those simple words, Cindy covered her mouth with her hand and whispered,

"Oh my God, I had no idea..."

"We all had so much on our minds," Rose jumped in, tears filling her blue eyes all over again,

"I had no idea either...that poor little angel..."

Shaking his head in misery, Kevin spoke up, his voice laced with more grief then anyone had ever heard from him,

"How could we have forgotten? How in the world could we have forgotten about the anniversary...? If anyone needed us then, it was Monica." Not wanting the others to see the tears streaming down his face, the youngest angel turned around and bolted from the bedroom and down the stairs.

"Those babies are hurting so much," Tess whispered in misery with a shake of her head,

"I don't see how any of us are going to be able to help them now..."

"Tess," Philip responded urgently,

"We can't even think that. There has to be some way to help her and that will in turn help Kevin. I'm not saying that I know what the answers are, but we have to find a way or we could very well lose her as well and I, for one, am not willing to do that."

"Philip's right," Rose replied shakily,

"These are our friends and Andrew's best friend we're talking about. That Angel Boy would be devastated to know we forgot about yesterday and left her on her own to try to deal with it. She won't go to the Father, so this is up to us right now."

Rising to his feet, Brady held his hand out to his wife,

"We're going to run home and check on the kids and get Monica's things as well as Molly. That little cat sticks to her like glue and I'm sure she is frantic about now. I'll check on Monica when we get back, but other than being sore from having her stomach pumped, she should be no worse off for what happened last night."

Nodding her head, Tess sighed softly before taking a seat on the edge of Andrew's bed where they had laid Monica down,

"All right, Brady..."

After Cindy and Brady had eventually left the room and hurried down to their car, Tess exchanged a look with the remaining three angels,

"You two are right, babies...both of you. There has to be a way to help both of them, although we can't see it," Reaching for Philip's hand, she gave it a tight squeeze,

"I don't want to lose my second Angel Baby either..."

"I know," The angel choked out,

"That's why I said it, Tess."

Standing behind Tess and Philip, Rose wrapped a gentle arm around Carla and pulled her close before whispering up,

"Oh Lord help them...help us all..."

"Can you at least tell me if you are ever coming back?" Monica whispered as she looked into the eyes of her dearest friend watching miserably as he shook his head.

"I wish I knew, sweetheart, but I don't," His green eyes appeared to be looking right into her soul as he spoke,

"I don't know what is going to happen, Mon, but I need you to be there…"

"Don't ask that of me, Andrew, please…" She broke down into sobs as she shook her head helplessly,

"The pain isn't even bearable, Andy…you took the best part of me with you when you were taken away. I have no idea how to be without you any more…everyday is my worst nightmare, Andrew…every day…tell me how to do what you are asking…"

"You've always been stronger than you thought you were, little girl," He replied, his voice laced with warmth.

"But not strong enough to be without you…" She pleaded, tears racing down her cheeks,

"I miss you so much it physically hurts, Andy…it hurts to move…"

"I miss you too, sweetheart, more then I think you know," He replied, his voice choking up as he looked right at her,

"But this has to be done-"

"No, it doesn't, Andy, no it doesn't," The Irish angel sobbed as she tried to make her way over to him, but the closer she stepped, the further away he faded,

"The Father can't expect this from me! What did we do to deserve this? What did you do to deserve what happened to you? How can He ask this of me? He knows how I feel about you..."

"Just like He knows how I feel about you, Angel Girl," Andrew replied, tears rushing to his green eyes,

"I hope you know that I want to hold you in my arms more then anything, but I can't...and I can't come back..."

"And you may never will," Monica wept, falling to her knees,

"Andy, please...please..."

"I'm so sorry, Angel Girl, I'm so sorry..." He whispered and then his voice soon faded and when Monica looked up again, he was gone. Gone from her existence.

She didn't even want to open her eyes even as she felt the tears streaming from them. At least in the dreams, even though at the end of each one he left, he was still there with her for a time and she only wanted to be able to live in those moments. The moments where she could at least see and hear him, if not touch him as in those moments were the only place she knew any kind of peace.

She tried to will herself to fall back asleep, unable to face the emptiness of another day. She could sense someone was in the room with her and she didn't want to face whoever it was about yesterday. She didn't want to explain or listen to how she shouldn't have tried to do such a thing as her only regret was that it hadn't worked. Though she knew that in the dream, Andrew was asking her to stay, all she still wanted to do was die. How could he ask that of her when he wasn't even here?

Reminding herself that it was only a dream, she left out a trembling sigh as she slowly opened her exhausted brown eyes.

"Hey there, Angel Girl," Tess spoke up as she watched her former charge's eyes open and look up at the ceiling,

"We were worried sick about you..." She waited to see if the little Irish angel would reply, but her heart broke as it seemed that Monica was trying to ignore her,

"Baby...will you look at me?"

Her eyes still looking up at the ceiling, Monica shook her head and didn't reply to her former supervisor. She didn't have the strength to tell her to go away, and she didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Not Tess or Brady or even Kevin; she just wanted her dearest friend back. Was that too much to ask for?

Tess let out a trembling sigh as she watched her friend shake her head,

"Well then, baby, maybe I can talk to you? I can understand why you did what you did, sweetheart, and all of us are so sorry for not being there with you yesterday. We forgot about the anniversary, and we're so terribly sorry. We should've been there with you, Angel Girl..."

A small sob escaped her, though she still didn't look at Tess,

"You understand?" She whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I do, baby," She whispered back to her, realizing now that Monica had expected a lecture and Tess was not about to give her anything more than understanding,

"You and Andrew were two parts of a whole, sweetheart, so I know you feel like you've lost part of yourself…"

"I've lost everything that matters…" The Irish angel interrupted softly, before closing her eyes against tears, not wanting to hurt anyone,

"I mean…I love all of you…but…but…"

"But we're not your Angel Boy," Tess finished for her, seeing Monica nod as tears spilled down her pale and drawn face. The older angel's own voice trembled as she spoke,

"You know, even as much as Rose loved him, she often referred to him as yours, baby, because in so many ways, he did belong to you."

"He...He was my Andrew..." She wept softly, still not meeting Tess' pained eyes,

"He was a part of my soul...a part that I never wanted to loose...and now-and now...I have lost him, and I may never g-get him back..."

"We don't know that, sweetheart..."

"But it c-could happen, Tess," The sobbing angel interrupted, clutching the covers with trembling hands,

"It could happen...the only times I see him now are-are in my dreams, and each time...I can n-never touch him..."

"I'm so sorry, baby-"

"I don't want people to be sorry," Monica uttered miserably,

"I just want to go away. I want to be with him...to touch him...if I can touch him one more time and hug him one more time, then I may be able to survive; but I'm not allowed to, and-and...and I just want to die. Why didn't the pills work, Tess? Why didn't they work?"

Trying as hard as she could to not break down and sob herself at what Monica was saying, Tess struggled to answer,

"They didn't work, baby, because it wasn't meant for them to work and more than anything I wish I had a better answer for you as to why Andrew was taken from us, but you have to stay here, but I don't have one. And as for being able to touch him one more time, sweetheart, one more time never would have lasted you the rest of eternity, no matter how much you think it might. It would never be enough, sweet girl."

The Irish angel swallowed hard as her eyes swam with tears, as she struggled to form words,

"T-Tess…Tess…H-help me…I can't…I can't…"

Without a second thought, Tess moved from her chair and wrapped the sobbing angel in her arms, holding her as tightly as she could,

"I'm here, Angel Girl...All of us are here, baby..."

"I can't survive this, Tess," She wept like never before,

"I can't...there's no way..."

"Shhh, baby," Tess blinked back more tears from her own dark eyes as she rocked Monica on the bed the same way Andrew used to do,

"Shhh...just let it out, sweetheart, let it out..."

"I want him more the a-anything, Tess. I want him," Monica repeated over and over again as she buried her face in the older angel's shoulder, her arms clutching the angel bear tightly to her chest even as Tess rocked her back and forth,

"Tess, please...please, can't y-you bring him to me...? I want him..."

"Oh baby girl, I wish I could…there is nothing I would like more than to bring him here to you," Tess whispered, wondering if she dared say what she was thinking,

"But since I can't do that, sweetheart, I do think I know what he would say to you," She was thoughtful for a moment as she held the anguished little angel tightly in her arms,

"I think he would tell you not to give up, and maybe to trust, even though he knows you're struggling with that right now and I think he would give you a 'cross my heart' promise that God has a plan in all of this, even if you don't believe it or like it right now. Then I think he would tell you that you are his whole world and that he loves you, just so much, baby, just so much," As the older angel's voice got softer on each word until she realized Monica had cried herself into an exhausted sleep.

Tenderly and with great care, she returned the little angel to her pillow and covered her up with the blanket. Smoothing back the damp hair around her face, Tess whispered lovingly to her,

"You go and visit your Angel Boy in your dreams, baby, and when you see him, please give him my love."

CI and KP