HELLO FRIENDS!
Well I haven't posted in like two years. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I hope to get back into this, but if I don't here's a small morsel at least! I promise a happy ending is on its way. Also, I do not own any of the rights to Glee or anything.. Also, the Kaddish is a traditional Jewish prayer. I'm not Jewish, so forgive me if I mess up anything! Durme Durme, again, is a Sephardic-Spanish Jewish Lullaby, so that explains the Spanish.
Ten months had come and gone as quick as the blink of an eye. 1943 was drawing to a close and Rachel Berry was losing her hope. With sunken eyes and grey, sagging skin, she trudged daily to work, holding the tiny hand of her only friend for hundreds of miles.
She didn't even know if he was alive anymore. Finn.
She thought about him constantly. It was her only source of hope that she clung to, hoping that maybe she would be sent from this hell to the heaven of America. Even death would be an escape.
She had long since been discharged from her position at Block Eight for the Kommandant and his men. She was not deemed worthy enough for such a position any longer. Although this meant no extra food rations, she was grateful to spend the long, cold nights with her little confidant, Hanna.
Hanna. She was eight now. Two years in this hell and she hadn't had proper nutrition, which meant she resembled more of a five year old than an eight year old. Rachel tried and tried to get her more food, but it was impossible.
The only thing that got them by was the generosity of the Kommandant's daughter, Annegret Himmler. She was a kind, yet confused, thirteen year old who had always treated them with kindness and curiosity. She was understanding more now what her family was responsible for, and to make up for the lack of options for the two girls, she snuck them little bits of bread and other scraps of foods that she saved from dinners with her family.
Anne would talk with them when she was alone in the house, but it was becoming harder and harder to get words between them with the war heating up. Her father, Heinrich, kept a close watch on her, along with her four other siblings. Her mother, Hedwig, was in a constant state of panic and depression, drinking her sorrows away with copious amounts of wine. When she wasn't away at her grandmother's home in Switzerland or on marches with the BDM (Bund Deutscher Mädel, or League of German Girls), she was sneaking Hanna and Rachel tiny amounts of vegetables, bread, or even meat if she could manage. Meat was very scarce in those days.
They got by, but not without hatred and retaliation. Their jobs were the best in the camps. They were not working in factories or quarries. They were lucky to be polishing silver and crystal goblets all day, and Rachel knew that. But she felt something was amiss. The Kommandant had been watching the two of them lately, and it was rubbing her the wrong way.
She barely woke up on that cold, January morning. Her eyes did not want to open. Tiny snowflakes and icicles had settled themselves on her eyelashes, blown in from the crack in the crumbling, brick wall. Weakly, she wiped the ice from her face and sat up the best she could, knowing it was time for roll call. In unison, the barracks became alive with the sounds of breathing bodies and sobs of despair when loved ones did not stir. This was common in the camp, and unfortunately, Rachel had become numb to the occurrence of death. The only thing that mattered was that the frail eight year old next to her woke up, and amazingly, she did.
The two of them stood in their usual spots outside in the snow. It was thick today, from a storm that passed through the night. She heard the people around her muttering the traditional mourner's Kaddish, or mourning prayer for the dead. She remembered her own solemn Kaddish that she and Hanna had recited quietly the morning after her mother's death.
Exalted and hallowed be God's great name
in the world which God created, according to plan.
May God's majesty be revealed in the days of our lifetime
and the life of all Israel - speedily, imminently, to which we say Amen.
Blessed be God's great name to all eternity.
Blessed, praised, honored, exalted, extolled, glorified, adored, and lauded
be the name of the Holy Blessed One, beyond all earthly words and songs of blessing,
praise, and comfort. To which we say Amen.
May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and all Israel,
to which we say Amen.
May the One who creates harmony on high, bring peace to us and to all Israel.
To which we say Amen.
Rachel wasn't what anyone would consider a 'good Jew'. She had never gone to Synagogue regularly, nor had her parents. They didn't keep as Kosher as they should have. She was in love with a Gentile, which was strictly frowned upon in her Sephardic Jewish culture. But she had vowed to say the Kaddish for her dead parents, as she and her mother had for her father when he was shot in 1937 in front of their own home.
Her faith was not strong. But it was all she had left. That and her little guardian angel, Hanna. Hanna with her thin arms. Hanna with her discolored eye and disheveled appearance. Hanna with her ever-present smile and hopeful demeanor.
Blessed be God's great name to all eternity.
An hour of standing and they were done. But not today. Today, it was over three hours of solemn standing. Bodies dropped like flies and were shot immediately. It was all she could do to hope that Hanna had the strength to stand straight. Straight she did stand, though.
After the roll call came a selection. It hadn't happened in a while.
What was I thinking, that life could go on normally like this forever? We will not stay here. We are not lucky. She thought to herself, her face wet with tears as she heard her own number called and she was pushed roughly aside by a Kapo. (kapos were Jewish prisoners assigned by the SS to carry out administrative tasks and supervise forced labor in the German camps)
He was her own kind, but he was cruel, not like any person she'd known. This man, the kapo before her, cared only for himself and barely flinched when she screamed at him to spare her.
Hanna, trembling in the snow, ran towards her after the kapo shoved her roughly and yelled her number. Rachel's tears stung as they left her eyes and she knew they would not be sent back to their barracks or the Kommandant's house. She felt the soft, mink teddy under Hanna's shirt and barely smiled, glad the child still had something to cling to. The mink teddy had been a luxurious gift from Annegret. They would never see Anne again.
Rachel held little Hanna's hand tightly as they walked through the camp, through buildings she had never seen before and down long, drafty corridors.
Showers. They were being showered.
She pulled her filthy clothes off amidst the hundreds of others and smiled a little as the cold water hit her face. She had not showered for months. Brown dirt dripped from her body and even though it was cold, it was a shower, with soap. Meager rations of soap, probably made from animal fat, but soap nonetheless. She smiled at little Hanna, her first shower in such a long time.
Her little body looked so frail in the water, but it was what they needed to push on. Rachel carefully scrubbed her short blond hair and smiled at her.
"Now doesn't that feel better, my little Hannelore?" (Hannelore, traditional German given name mixed between Hannah and Eleanore)
Hanna smiled at her and nodded, "I have never felt so clean."
Never so clean indeed! They were given fresh uniforms to put on. Well, fresh for all intents and purposes. They were by no means fresh, but new to them at least.
They were led down another hallway and back out into the cold of the winter world outside and she suddenly realized where they were. The train tracks. She saw the forest ahead of them and the cattle cars directly in front. She did not want to go, but of course, she had no opinion or choice in the matter. All she had to do was get on with her little Hanna and ensure that she was safe, no matter what.
With no clue of where they were even going, they traveled, cramped in the small cars for several days. Each day, the dead were removed and they were given their usual meager rations of bread and sometimes potato soup. She tried peeking out the cracks between the wooden slats, but this really did not allude to much. Just forest, hills, and flat lands. No cities, no civilisation.
A week later, they came to a stop. A day of waiting. Doors opening and blinding light. Finally.
The gate to the camp was similar to the one she'd seen. But instead of 'Arbeit Macht Frei', the camp entrance read 'Judem Das Seine'. To each what he deserves.
As the new group of Jews trudged through the gates of the camp, Rachel realized she and the other women in the group were a new addition to the camp. Men were everywhere. She overheard that women only made up a tiny portion of this camp.
She wondered why, silently inside her head.
New assignments. New bunks. New barracks. New system and roll call. Not new captors. Their anger was the same everywhere, and here they did not have a soul to call their friend.
In their new wooden bunk, Rachel looked sadly down at Hanna. "Little Hannelore. Don't be so down. You are still with me, and I with you."
Hanna nodded a bit and looked at Rachel. "I am glad to be with you, but I feel as if I am leaving my mother more and more each day. I can't even remember her voice. Could you sing the song she used to sing me?"
"Of course, my angel." She said quietly. Lately, she had not wanted to sing. But it still felt good to get the words out of her mouth and let her voice ring through the quiet barracks. She heard soft sighs and saw faint smiles on the faces of the Jews and Gypsies all around her. If this is what she could do to help, to lift spirits, she would do it.
Durme, durme querido hijico.
Durme, durme sin ansia ni dolor.
Cierra tus luzyos ojitos,
Durme, durme con savor.
Cierra tus luzyos ojitos,
Durme, durme con savor.
De la cuna saliras,
y a la scola entraras
y tu allí mi querido hijico
a meldar t' ambezarás.
y tu allí mi querido hijico
Durme, durme querido hijico.
Durme, durme sin ansia ni dolor.
Cierra tus luzyos ojitos,
Durme, durme con savor.
Cierra tus luzyos ojitos,
Durme, durme con savor.
De la scola saliras,
Novia hermosa tomaras
y entonces querido hijico
criaturas tiniras.
y entonces querido hijico
criaturas tiniras.
Again, my apologies for being so late. I guess two years is a while, hm? I may be doing a one-shot here soon so keep updated on that, but as for now, I hope you enjoy.
