Note : If you guys don't get this at all, I think you forgot to read chapter 8. I know some people DO read these notes and some people DON'T. And they only read it if they don't understand a single thing in the chapter. Straight to the point : FLASHBACK. From the beginning till the end, flashback. The next one should be coming soon. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day after. Just these few days. Be sure to check or you'll never know the ending of the story! So, it's way past midnight now... The time I completed this. I'm gonna go sleep, and probably wake up so damn early in the morning to find the blanket I'm using to be hogged by my cousin who's gonna be wrapped in a damn cocoon. So, goodnight and pray I sleep well. I hope you enjoy this...flashback. . . Although I didn't -_- except for the last part. Yes, the last. I like writing those stuffs, problem with that? Hah.

Damn. I feel like young Kuroko shouldn't be like this. It's too deep for me I guess. But, let's assume he's a smart kid alright? Well, he IS one. So, let's leave it like that. Remember, it's a flashback. This whole thing.


Feelings Inside

He opened his eyes and felt extremely tired.

Strange.

It wasn't the I'm-too-lazy-to-wake-up tired but the exhaustion of not being able to move a muscle. He tried to use his hands as leverage to position into a sitting position but failed miserably. The single push used up all his energy and he fell back to the bed almost immediately.

Now, he was panting slightly faster than before. He wasn't sure whether it was the drop that made him pant or the exhaustion. Then, he felt like there was a warmer under him. The heat was warming up his whole body. He immediately kicked the blanket off his body with all his power like how any other person would have done and shifted his body a bit, hoping the cold air from the air conditioner would help cool him.

"I made hot chocolate for you," his mom said, entering his room with a mug in her hands. The aroma of his favourite hot drink was filling the room. Naturally, the young boy loved it. He started feeling rather cold as he felt another breeze of cold air against his skin. Thankfully, his mother picked up the blanket and out it over him.

The boy averted his gaze from his mother and it lingered at the door for a few moments. He expected his father to come in, but to his disappointment, no one else entered. "Mama, where's Papa?"

"He went to the pharmacy to buy some medicine for your fever. He'll be back in a moment."

She removed the warm, wet folded cloth from Kuroko's forehead and kissed it. Smiling, she dipped the cloth in a basin of cold water and placed it on Kuroko's forehead again. Kuroko was having trouble keeping his eyes open. He wanted to wait for his father, but he couldn't stay awake. His mother just looked at him while smiling. Soon, he was already asleep.


"...he feeling better now?" A voice so familiar he didn't have to open his eyes to see who it belonged to.

Still, he opened his eyes and stared at his parents like he just woke up from a 2-day sleep.

"Hey kiddo, feeling better now?" His father said gently, using his big hands to stroke against Kuroko's hand continuously.

"Papa..." Kuroko mumbled with his eyes closed as he enjoyed the heart-warming feeling of being loved when his hair was stroke.

He opened his eyes and stared at his father when he stopped stroking his hair. His father just chuckled at Kuroko. It had always amused his parents that he would always stare at them, searching for family affection and attention more than usual when he's sick.

"You have to take your medicine now," his father said, receiving a pill and a mug of cooled hot chocolate from his wife.

He placed the pill in Kuroko's hand and supported him up by using his hands which resulted in the cloth on Kuroko's forehead falling off. His mother took the cloth and held it in her hands before it could wet the blanket. After placing the pill in his mouth, his father passed the mug to him and Kuroko swallowed it together with the pill. Then, his father gently placed him back to the bed.

His mother sat beside him on the bed as her husband left the room after giving Kuroko one last stroke on the head. She smiled at how flushed Kuroko's face was from the fever. She wondered whether she'd ever see him this flushed again in the future. Not from a fever but maybe because of a girl.

"Get some rest, okay? We'll be back later," she said.

Just as she stood up and was about to walk away, she was stopped in her tracks when she felt something holding on to her hand. She turned and saw Kuroko looking at her, his small fingers tugging on the index and middle fingers of her hand. He loosened his grip but still held onto the fingers. He locked his blue eyes on hers.

Don't leave. I don't want to be alone.

"Don't..leave..." He finally said, feeling so selfish.

I shouldn't.

He let go. His hand fell on the bed with a soft 'thud' and his mother walked towards him with an affectionate smile. She bent down and wrapped her arms around the young boy. He accepted the affection and moved his head next to his mother's so that they're heads were touching. He closed his eyes. After a long moment, she let go and looked at her son. The boy didn't open his eyes and she assumed that he was simply asleep. She then made her way out of the room quietly.

Hearing the door click a second time, signalling someone leaving, he kept his eyes closed in case his mother was still there. After a moment of silence, he finally opened his eyes and stared at his ceiling. He wasn't thinking of anything. Just...staring.

Until he realized.

He's alone.

No mama. No papa.

I should sleep.

He shifted his sleeping position sideways and closed his eyes so that he could quickly fall asleep. He never liked being alone. Being in school helped him build the loneliness, for he was not always noticed. Thus, the only affection came from the place he called home.

Where his family was.

Where love was.

His eyes opened. The small glimmer of hope shone for a moment before disappearing. His mouth curved a little downwards. He closed his eyes slowly and shifted his sleeping position to the opposite direction. He could care less whether the cloth was on his forehead or not. He went into a fetal position. His limbs brought near his chest, head lowered with his fists clenched tightly.

He wanted it to go away. He knew it was temporary. He just needed to sleep and once he wakes up, they'll be there. And it will be gone.

They will.

He assured himself and closed his eyes and he know that he'll be asleep in no time.

Sleep.

But he couldn't help the feeling stirring inside him.

Fear.

Loneliness.

And... Silence.

It was eating him.

Inside out.

It seemed that the pill's were finally taking effect. The young boy was now asleep. With his face looking so peaceful. With his sleeping position looking like a baby's.

So calm. So peaceful.

No one will know.

The feelings inside a moment before.