The dark feeling came back as soon as Manda had pulled into the driveway.

She was about to walk up the porch stairs when she heard the whispering she couldn't make out again, and then it felt as if someone had just breathed down the back of her neck.

Manda froze where she was as the chill ran down her spine along with the sensation of something scratching down her scars once again.

Dean saw her stop dead in her tracks and how her posture stiffened as he came up beside her. "Manda?"

She looked over her shoulder as if on reflex, and then hid the fear she felt as she turned her head to look at him.

"What?" Dean looked at her curiously as he saw she was on alert and ready to strike at something. She was in the hunter mode and for no reason at all that he could see.

"I heard… I just thought I heard something," she mumbled out. It wasn't entirely a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either.

He saw the way Manda's eyes betrayed her. She was good at lying, but he picked up on it. Dean would press her for the details now, but not as much as he wanted to. "Care to tell me what all that was about back in the cemetery now?"

She sighed and sat down on the stairs. Manda knew she should have gone inside to tell Chuch and Sam too, but she barely wanted to tell Dean as it was. "Everything caught up to me all at once?" she offered the excuse. She'd try to keep the brave front going for as long as she could again.

Dean stood there and looked at her for a moment. Then he sat beside her. "Try again, Manda." He didn't believe her excuse at all, it was weak.

Manda was silent for a minute. "I felt too hot, my scars hurt, and then I passed out." That's what had happened, but she left out hearing the voice. She was going to keep that to herself until she was sure that's what it actually had been.

Dean leaned back a bit and didn't bother to ask, he just lifted up the back of his shirt she had on, and looked at the scars to make sure nothing new was happening with them. Though there wasn't any change in them that he could see. He pulled the back of the shirt back down, and leaned forward again. "Okay, now what about all the weird talk back there about dying and it being the same demon?" He tried looking at her then, but she kept her head straight and away from him.

"I don't… I just…" Manda started and choked on the words. "Knowing I was in that town… and so close to the date of what happened there… either the bastard demon has one great sense of humour or it's the same one." The words came out of her slowly and with disbelief. "And if it's the same one… you know exactly what I'll do."

"You'll chase it." Dean sighed. He knew she would hunt it and destroy herself completely in the process.

Manda nodded, and refused to look towards him still. "My parents always said my reckless behaviour would be the death of me if I didn't find a way to let it go. And they were right… I got them killed with it, and it's how I ended up in whatever screwed up situation this is now." She took a deep breath. "Once again I've failed them, I always have." Her voice broke a little as she confessed the feelings she held inside.

Dean knew all too well about feeling like a failure in the eyes of parent. He had felt like he'd let his dad down more times than he could count. There was nothing he could say to her that would take that feeling away or make it okay. They were too much alike that way, he saw that so clearly now.

"I knew that demon would come back one day, but I never went after it after all that happened. If I had… their sacrifice for me would have been meaningless, and I just couldn't do that no matter how badly I wanted to. They should have let me die that day… it should have been me, not them," Manda faintly spoke the truth she'd always believed.

Dean debated putting an arm around her, or reaching out for her hand, but he wasn't sure she would want that right now when she was letting all this out. He settled on a simple touch instead, and placed his hand just above her knee, then squeezed a little to remind her he understood that type of guilt. Manda knew about what his dad had done for him, and what he'd done himself for Sam. It had come up once, and she'd heard parts of the stories elsewhere anyway.

Manda looked at his hand on her knee. She knew how his father had sacrificed his own life for Dean's, and then how he'd turned around and done the same thing for Sam. She rested her head against his shoulder, then slipped her arm under his and took his hand off her leg and into her own. "The things we have in common, Dean…it's why we get each other too well at times."

"I know," he said softly. Dean knew that by taking his hand in hers, Manda needed him. She had always maintained a distance from him when they were together around Sam or Chuch. And at any given second either one could see him and her sitting there like this right now. It wasn't like her to let this soft side of her be seen when it wasn't just the two of them.

"There's an evil feeling inside me that won't go away," she whispered. "I just feel this darkness lurking inside of me and I can't get rid of it." Manda hadn't wanted to admit to it, but found herself unable to keep it in at the moment. She raised her head and looked at him.

Dean looked back at her and saw the fear in her eyes she wasn't trying to hide from him right then. "It'll be okay, Manda. We'll do what we do best, figure it out and stop whatever it is." He didn't know that it would be, but he'd do what he could to make sure it was.

"I wish that was true, Dean," she muttered as she rested her head against his shoulder again. Manda knew just how much of a scared little girl she was being right then, and she didn't care. She needed this man that was at her side, but she just couldn't bring herself to say the words that she wanted to.

"What did I tell you last night?" he whispered as he bowed his head to hers. Dean didn't know how much longer she'd hold on without losing it soon. She'd been good so far at not breaking down, but he knew that on the inside she was tearing herself apart with everything.

Manda closed her eyes as she let herself feel the safety Dean offered when she was with him. "I'm safe with you," she answered. Her voice had been just above a whisper. She knew he would look after her, and for a brief moment she felt as if nothing would happen to her as long as she was with him.

"Nothing's going to happen then, is it?" Dean knew he had to reassure her. The strong part of her just wasn't there right now. He knew she was scared and starting to crumble inside. And if Manda needed him to take care of her for now, then that's what he'd do because it was her. Right now they were together, and as their arrangement went, it meant just that for him – no ifs or buts about it.

As much as she wanted to believe Dean, sometimes things still happened anyway. Manda knew that, and he did too, but she appreciated the effort he was putting in. She decided it was time to ease out of the sombre mood. "Thanks for indulging me during my not-so-tough girl moments, Winchester."

Dean chuckled. This was more like her after the small breakdown and confession she had just shared with him. "Someone has to rescue the damsel in distress," he joked with her.

She laughed at the comment and nudged him softly with her elbow for it.

Sam could see his brother and the female hunter from the window.

Chuch had filled him in briefly on Manda's past once Dean had gone after her when she had taken off, and that only revealed another reason as to why the two hunters had connected with each other.

The guilt they both held for things that weren't really their faults was just something else they shared in common with each other. Sam knew Dean saw parts of himself in her, and it was no surprise then that he'd come out here the way he had for her.

Watching them from behind, he saw the way Manda was leaning against Dean and how much it seemed to say she needed his older brother right then. He didn't want to disturb the rare moment they were having with each other either.

He'd only seen them get this way with each other the two times he'd had to witness them saying goodbye to each other after the few days they spent together both times. But if Dean still wanted to hit that bar tonight, they'd have to get on the road soon.

Sam walked over to the door, and then went a few steps outside. He cleared his throat first, and then called out, "Dean?"

Manda instantly dropped Dean's hand, slid her arm from under his, and sat up straight. She wasn't embarrassed by being caught like this with Dean, but she was a bit uncomfortable with showing that side of herself when it was more than just him and her.

He let go of her hand at the same time since Sam didn't need to see the softness between them. Then he turned a little to look at his brother. "What do you want, Sammy?"

"We need to get going if you want to make it to that bar tonight," Sam said. "We're still going, right?"

Dean looked back at Manda with a look that asked her if she wanted to go.

She just nodded at him. She needed to go there, as much as she knew it could be a disaster, it was something she had to do.

"Look's like we're going… so get packed up and ready to leave soon," Dean told his brother.

"Chuch find out anything else yet, Sam?" Manda called out.

Sam knew Chuch was looking into it now. She had just made the phone call a few minutes ago and would be trying to get whatever additional information they needed from the first murder. "Not yet," he replied, and then went back inside.

Manda got up and headed inside.

Dean went in after her. He stopped her before she went upstairs. "Hang on a second," he said as he walked away.

"Um… okay," Manda said oddly, and waited while he disappeared briefly.

He came back with her revolver in his hand. He held it out to her. "Uh… I took a better look at it earlier, and it shouldn't jam or stick again."

She grinned as she took her gun from him. Dean had taken the time to fix it for her, and it had it completely slipped her mind that he had said he would last night. "You're giving out those impressions again, Winchester, but thanks for doing that."

He chuckled at her remark. "Thank me by hanging on to my shirt… I got a feeling you'll let me reclaim it later since you're still giving out your own impressions, Chambers." He raised a brow and gave her a flirty smirk.

Manda laughed as she went up the stairs since Dean was right. She would probably give him the chance to take back his shirt later.

She was definitely falling quicker and harder for him in spite of the situation she was in and dragging him into. And now she was starting to wonder if and when she could try to have more with him than what they currently did have going on with each other.

-

The six hour drive was made in a little less than six hours since there was barely any traffic, and they had managed to drive a little faster than they had anticipated.

Dean had wanted Manda to ride with him and Sam, but she had insisted on making the drive by herself, and Chuch had figured she might as well take her own car too just in case. Each of them had issues with leaving their cars behind, so their three classic cars had hit the road together.

When they had stopped for to grab a bite to eat three hours in, Sam, Dean and Chuch had found Manda a bit quiet at that point. She hadn't spoken much to any of them, barely ate anything, and just sort of sat there half paying attention to the conversation.

They all figured that the closer they got, the worse it was for her. The town where the worst of her past had happened, and the answers that could be waiting once they got there had to be weighing on her mind. Her distance seemed normal to them given the circumstances, and none of them tried to press her for anything.

Dean had made the offer at that point to ride the rest of the way with her in her car or for Sam to drive her car while she rode with him in the Impala, but she had refused. She was starting to push him away a little now, and he wondered just how much more she would do that by the end of the night.

Once they had completed the drive, they pulled up in front of a hotel Manda had led them to. They were going to check in first and then make their way to the bar.

Manda stopped them when they all got out of their cars. She told them she'd take care of the rooms since it because of her that they were here, and that it was the least she could do to repay them for it.

She felt even stranger that she had been already as she walked to the hotel. She'd been feeling weird during the whole drive. A sense of déjà vu and dread had started to take over in her as each mile clicked by while making this drive again.

The first time she ever had driven out here, the price had been too high for her. Now the feeling that coming here once again was going to cost her people she cared about yet again or it would finally be her this time around was gnawing at her.

When Manda walked into the front office to rent their rooms, she had the faint memory of being here before. "Hi, I need to get three rooms for a few days," she said as she got to the desk.

The clerk looked up at her, and recognition crossed his face then. "You're back here already, are you? Do you want the same room again?"

Manda felt her stomach drop, and her knees wanted to buckle. This meant she'd been here just a few days ago instead of years like she remembered. "Yeah, loose ends to tie up, and sure, the same room will be fine." She flashed a great fake smile as she rolled with it, and wondered if she'd remember being in whatever room it turned out to be.

The clerk looked at her a little strangely. "And two more rooms this time?"

"Friends," she answered, and nodded back towards the window.

"Want them near you or not?" he asked.

Manda thought about it quickly. "No… the other two can be further away, but close to each other."

"Singles, doubles, queens?" His voice was flat as he asked her the routine question.

Manda paused in thought. "Make one of them a single queen, the other… two queens." Dean could share with Sam. She might have wanted him with her, but she was feeling the need to be alone now.

The clerk worked out the rooms and the total. She paid, got the keys for the three rooms, and went back outside to where her friends were waiting. She hid the emotions that were banging on her insides for release as she approached them, and heard their conversation come to a halt at the same time.

Sam, Dean and Chuch had been talking about her when she'd been arranging their rooms. None of them thought it was wise if she went to the bar, but they knew they couldn't stop her from going. Chuch and Sam had talked more, and Dean had just kept his eye on her through windows of the front office in case something happened.

After what Dean had witnessed earlier, and then what she'd told him, he wasn't taking chances. He would give her space, but he'd be keeping a closer eye on her from here on out.

She tossed a key to Chuch. "Number six for you." Then Manda avoided looking at Dean, and tossed him a key. "Eight for you and Sam… and that leaves fifteen for me," she said and headed back to her car. "Be ready in about ten minutes," she called out as she got in her car, then shut the door and drove to her room.

Dean's expression was odd as it clicked in she'd just said the room was for him and Sam. She wasn't letting him stay with her tonight. He would entertain her idea for now, but one way or another he was ending up in fifteen with her later. Manda might have wanted it this way, but he wasn't about to let her sleep alone that far away from any of them.

Sam saw the reaction on Dean's face that disappeared quickly. He could tell his brother was bothered at how she'd just pushed him away. "What's that about?"

Dean shrugged even though he had a pretty good idea as to why she was doing this.

"She's pushing all of us away already," Chuch added in. "One of us is going to have to talk to her soon."

Both Sam and Chuch looked at Dean then. Even if Chuch was sort of like a sister to Manda, they both felt he was in the best position to get through to her.

"Hey… maybe one of you should try it this time before thinking it's my job." He felt the rejection settle in as he got in the car and tried to ignore it.

Sam looked at Chuch. "You talk to her, I'll talk to him."

She nodded as she got in her car, and then drove to her room.

Sam and Dean pulled up two spots over from her almost immediately.

Dean got his bags out of the trunk, and headed directly into the room. He didn't say anything, because he was feeling the sting now, and within a few minutes he'd have to be around Manda without wanting to pull her aside and ask her what the hell was going on.

Chuch looked at Sam as both of them were claiming their bags out of the trunks of their cars. "Somebody's feelings are hurt I take it."

Sam chuckled. "I caught them in sort of a moment earlier, so I'd say the sudden freeze out hurts a little."

"Ouch," Chuch said. "Manda's quite good at doing that though."

"Sammy, get your stuff in here already and then let's get going," Dean called out loudly from inside the room.

Chuch looked at him apologetically, and then went to her room with her bags.

Sam sighed as he went into his room with Dean. "Dude… Chuch will talk to her later. She'll come around."

"We're not talking about it," Dean responded harshly.

"Manda's stubborn, but she does need you, Dean. I saw her with you earlier, and it said a whole lot for how she feels about you." Sam had talked to him about her on the ride here when Dean had told him about what she'd said and what had happened to her in the cemetery. Later on Sam was going to look into that too. None of this was adding up still, but he knew it was definitely something that wasn't going to be good when it did.

Dean didn't say anything. He wasn't going to talk about this with Sam.

Manda got changed and ready to go to the bar. She knew there was only one angle she could work at that place in order to get the answers she needed. There was no badge tonight that would help. She had to play the woman who'd been on a bad bender, and use her charm to get what she needed.

She locked up the room she had no memory of being in days earlier, and got back in her car.

Stopping behind and between Dean's Impala and Chuch's GTO – she honked the horn to let them know it was time to go.

Chuch came out, walked past her own car, and climbed into Manda's passenger seat. She'd changed quickly herself when she had gotten the text once she had gotten inside her room. They had worked this angle a few times and it had always worked. Answers came out quickly each time they had played it as two girls out on the town looking for fun or trouble. "Ready to do this?" she asked her friend.

Manda nodded. "Not looking forward to it, but we don't have much of a choice for this place."

Sam and Dean came out then. Sam flashed them a look through the windows, but Dean just kept his eyes averted as they both got into the Impala.

Manda pulled away then and saw the car in the rear view mirror appear a moment later.

"So, Dean's got to feel a bit rejected by you right now considering the two of you are… sort of together?" Chuch knew it was time to talk to her about this.

"I don't want to talk about it," Manda replied. She didn't, her relationship or lack of one with Dean was something she didn't want to talk about right now.

"Manda… I'm going to say this once and you better listen." Chuch's voice was serious to show she meant what she was about to say. It was time to call her friend on her behaviour.

"I don't have a choice do I?" Manda muttered. She knew what was coming. Chuch was going to call her out on her bullshit like she had numerous times before.

"Maybe Dean won't say it, but it's clear he's cares a whole lot for you. He's going to hide how much your sudden rejection bothers him, but if you'd just stop pushing him away at times like this, I think you'll find the two of you will scrap this silly arrangement you have with each other quickly. So kill the stubbornness and make up with him later tonight." Chuch believed that if the two of them could just decide to be honest about how they both really felt towards each other, then the two hunters would be together a little more than they were now.

Manda sighed as she looked in the rear view mirror at his car. "I know it's wrong to shut him out… but it's not that easy, Chuch."

"It is if you'd stop being scared and quit running him hot and cold when you're around each other." Chuch knew that's what her friend was doing with him, and that Dean would get fed up with it quickly no matter how much he might like her.

"I can't let him…" Manda couldn't explain how letting Dean get any closer to her right now might just be the worst thing she could do to him, and what it could cost him if she didn't distance herself from him.

The nagging fear inside her had amounted to pushing him away because the last thing she wanted to do was repeat history with any of the three people who had come out here for her. Manda wasn't willing to risk losing more people she'd grown close to, especially not here where she'd already lost so much just about ten years ago now.

"I've said what I had to, now think it over and decide if you're hot or cold with him, 'cause it can't be both." Chuch said as they were just coming up to the bar. She took a look at it through the window. "God you were right, what a hole."

Manda pulled into the bar lot, and saw Dean pull in a couple of spots away. She knew Chuch was right, she had to figure out if she was on or off with him. Going back and forth like this was a game she knew she shouldn't put him through since it wasn't fair. But right now she had to forget that since they had reached the bar. Hopefully there would be some answers inside, and that came before whatever she had or didn't have with Dean at the moment.

She started to feel warm again when she got out of the car, and then a memory flashed of walking through the doors before. The frightful feeling reached the pit of her stomach as she got closer to the entrance.

Manda froze on the spot just before reaching the doors as it felt like nails scratched down her scars, and the whisper echoed in a creepy mocking tone in her head.

Welcome back Manda… welcome back.

Dean noticed her freeze as he and Sam came up behind them, and then he caught Manda when she started to fall.


I tried writing this one a few ways, but this fit best. Sorry for keeping you waiting if you've been following. Parts of this story are getting harder to write, and I feel like I'm trying to do too many things with it at once. Then again I'm not quite seeing it in order in my head either when I work on it. It's different paced than the last once and I'm trying my best to get through it at times without wanting to abandon it.
Hope you enjoyed it! And thanks to the two vocal readers for the comments :)
If you want to comment - by all means, go for it!
ps... hope Dean's not going too soft here. I'm trying to keep him in that balance I've given him when he's with Manda to lead up to where I want to take them in this story.