"Are you scared?" Mariana asked her mother as everyone sat at the dinner table on Sunday night.

The entire table stopped eating and watched Stef for they all wondered the same thing.

"I'm no, are you?" Stef asked back, wondering what this was doing to her already insecure and guilt ridden daughter.

"A little." Mariana admitted honestly.

"Couldn't you get like, a desk job or something?" Jude asked innocently as he watched all three of the Foster kids looking so grim.

Stef laughed and glanced at a wife who she knew would love for her to do just that - but they all knew that it wasn't who she was and it wouldn't be fair to ask her to be anyone but herself. "This is who I am sweetheart." She answered the young boy. "I am very well trained and I have protection and I know that I wasn't wearing my vest that night but the situation was different. I wasn't acting like a cop that night, I was a mother and I thought that my son was in danger." She paused to look at Jesus, remembering just how afraid she'd been about what state she would find him. "When I'm on the job I am much more rational and prepared and… I've learned from my mistakes." She continued. "I know now that no matter how important a situation, I have to be prepared because I'm no use to anyone if I'm shot or injured or, or dead."

"But it could still happen right?" Mariana questioned. "I mean, cops get shot all the time."

"Yes, it's true that my job is on the dangerous side but that's why we are so well trained and we are given vests and gear to protect us, we have backup and support from our co-workers and we have rules and protocols that we have to follow in order to keep ourselves, each other and everyone safe."

"Honey, we can't live in constant fear of what might happen." Lena answered her daughter and the table at large. "Fear paralyzes us and keeps us from enjoying life. The truth is that anything could happen to any one of us. We could have a heart attack or be at the bank when someone walks in with a gun or there could be a car accident simply because your brakes failed. Anything can happen at any time but that doesn't mean we're all just going to sit at home wrapped in bubble does it?"

Everyone shook their heads as Stef watched Callie, thinking of how her world had turned upside down in just such an accident. It made her realize just how much life could have changed for her own family all because she'd been reckless. Yes, it was her son in there and he could have been in danger but rushing into that house the way that she did would have done him no good either if she ended up lying dead on the floor.

"I am so, so sorry for what I put all of you through." Stef finally said. "I know that, for a while at least, it's going to be tough watching me go to work every morning but I want you know that I promise never to be so rash and impulsive again. I know I was in a hurry to get to Jesus and nothing was going to stop me but it wasn't my job to get him that day. Not as a cop at least." Stef continued. "I wasn't acting like a cop, I was acting as a mother, It's like with doctors and why they aren't supposed to perform surgeries on their own family and close friends or why judges aren't allowed to try cases involving people they know because their judgement is clouded and they don't always make the best decisions. I should have waited and called for backup but my judgement was way off. You guys are the most important thing to me and I don't want to miss out on watching you grow up into the wonderful people you are meant to be."

As Stef talked Callie could understand just how everyone felt - if she had known, even at ten, what was to happen to her mother while she was just sitting in a car she would have been terrified every time her mother so much as went onto the road. These kids had gotten a glimpse of the horrors of their mothers job and now they wanted to just keep her home and keep her safe - it wasn't as ludicrous an idea as Stef made it seem.

"But please, always, always, remember that I love each of you and nothing anyone can ever do will change that. You are my babies and even when I'm dead and gone, know that I love you with all of my heart." She finished, focused solely on Brandon and the twins; trying with all her power to convey just how true and how powerful her words and feelings were.


Eventually, after a dinner much longer than most, everyone headed up to their rooms to get ready for bed. Callie knew that Stef and Lena would be up in a bit to say goodnight and knowing Stef, she'd make sure to remind all of her kids that they were loved and not to be scared despite having just had an hourlong conversation on that very subject. But even that would be a while for the dishes still had to be done and the moms didn't ask the kids for help because it was already late on a school night.

But as Callie crawled into bed, more than glad to finally rest her aching leg she watched Mariana get ready for bed herself. The usually perky and perfect foster sister was less than focused today. The girl was brushing her hair but where she usually made sure to brush it out well without missing any part of it, she seemed to be focused on something far away, the brush making its way through the left side of her head for well over forty strokes by now.

"She really does love you, you know." Callie said, breaking the silence, and hopefully Marianas fearful thoughts. "She would tell me everyday just how much she loved you and your brothers; especially after you would leave from visiting."

"I know." Mariana answers, putting down her brush and turning to look at Callie. "But that just makes it worse, like Brandon said - they love me so much and I went behind their backs and nearly cost Stef her life."

"I get where he's coming from but he's wrong." Callie added her two cents. "He's scared and hurt and he's mad at you guys but that doesn't change the fact that you are their family and your moms love you just as much as ever. People can die at anytime from anything but I know that my mom loved me despite all our fights and all my bad behavior and knowing that means the world to me."

"But that doesn't make it any less scary." Mariana replied. "I mean, I always knew that her job was dangerous and things like this could happen but you never expect it to happen to you. It's alway something you hear about on the news or see in a movie."

"I know what you mean." Callie agreed. "My mom went out on night for dinner with my dad and some friends and she never came home. I woke up the next morning and I didn't even have a family anymore."

"We're like your family." Mariana offered kindly, actually liking Callie for the very first time and seeing her as someone dealt a terrible hand just like she herself had been. The girl was no longer just a roommate she was forced to allow into her room.

"It isn't the same." Callie said sadly. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the offer but a temporary family that wasn't even really hers just didn't cut it now matter how much it was exactly what she wanted. "This is definitely the best house that we've ever lived in and the fact that Jude and I are here together means more than anything but it's still temporary." She said with a shrug. "It's like I can catch my breath for a while but we never know how long it will last or what the next house will be like. Some of the houses we've been in are worse than nightmares." She admitted for the first time besides to Stef.

"What were they like?" Mariana asked curiously. She remembered being in some less that appropriate homes but they'd been rescued so early on that they were lucky enough to have skipped the really horrific ones.

Callie shrugged, wondering where to even begin. "Our first house was actually a really nice one. The Segals." She relayed. "I screwed that up." She added with a miserable shake of her head as the other girl listened with interest. "They took us back to our house to get some of our things and I was just standing in the middle of the room trying to decided what I wanted to take with me, or rather what I could bare to leave behind and then I just lost it; I starting flinging everything everywhere until my room was one royal mess. I broke the furniture and shattered the mirror and somehow I even managed to wreck my pillow. They sent us back the next day saying that they couldn't handle such a traumatized child who obviously needed a lot of help. After that we never got a good home again. We had foster parents who wouldn't feed us or made us do all kids of chores from morning to night. The foster father who landed me in the hospital shattered my knee with a baseball bat."

"Really?" Mariana asked, her eyes wide in surprise.

"Yup." Callie answered with a shrug. "He shattered my knee, broke my arm in several places, cracked my ribs and knocked a tooth out when he hit me on my face. All because I was trying to stop him from beating up Jude for trying on a dress."

"Man." Mariana said sadly. "I can't believe people like that even get to have foster kids."

Once again Callie shrugged for she had absolutely no idea. All she knew was that if there was bad luck anywhere then she seemed to have a gift for finding it and even here, in this house, she knew that it would eventually come looking for her.

"When mom first got shot mama had me talk to the school counselor for a while and she said that she believed that everything happens for a reason and that something good comes out of every situation." Mariana explained. "I'm not using it as an excuse or anything but if mom wasn't in that hospital then she would never have met you." She offered.

"That was good for me." Callie admitted. "But she could still have done without being shot." She said.

"You could both have been done without being in that hospital but it wasn't just good for you to have her there. You kept her sane too. Stef lovesto take care of people and she absolutely hates being seen as incapable or weak. You gave her something to care for and that was something that she really needed." Mariana said wisely.

Callie thought about what Mariana had said and she realized that there must have been truth to her words for Stef had truly become like a parent to her - she'd taken care of her and corrected her when she was wrong; lended a shoulder for her to cry on and celebrated with her whenever she had some good news. Stef had been everything to her in that hospital and she'd wanted nothing more than to come back home with Stef and be a part of her family but now that she was back home with her own kids Callie wasn't needed anymore. Stef had been only hers for those weeks they were alone but now she was the very last thing on Stef's mind.