Chapter Nine
Devious Evans
I sat in McGonagall's Transfiguration lesson the next morning, not really taking in a word the teacher was saying.
All that kept turning over in my head was Lily's devious plan to get the Marauders back for their nasty little stunt with the two mirrors. It made me cringe even now to think that Sirius 'smirking' Black had seen me in nothing more than my underwear.
Well, he was going to pay. I would make sure of that.
"Get into pairs," McGonagall called curtly, interrupting my reverie.
Lily obediently came to sit with me, swapping seats with a blonde boy the teacher had put next to me in a seating plan. I was glad to be rid of him. Jonathan Walker prided himself on being the class clown and thought it was highly hilarious to sabotage almost every task we were set.
The redhead and myself had been forced to become fast friends in a matter of a day, our mutual hatred of the Marauders forming a strange bond between the two of us. Prior to this point I had always seen Lily as a little judgmental and dare I say, stuck up, but after her idea for revenge I had been forced to eat my words. Lily most certainly had a rebellious side, she was just clever about keeping it under lock and key for a majority of the time.
I watched the Marauders divide themselves into two teams across the room, Black obviously buddying up with James. Nothing new there.
I managed to catch Black's eye for what felt like the fiftieth time already that lesson. This time with Lily being fortunately at my side I made a show of leaning over to her conspiratorially and muttering in her ear, just as we had planned. She too glanced at Black before letting out a visible giggle.
His face was a picture. I had to turn away so I could laugh. The 'plan' Lily had told me yesterday had been nothing more complicated than exploiting Sirius's own paranoia.
Because I had more than a strong feeling Black had been the instigator of the mirror incident we were to embark on a torrent of whispers, pointing and giggling all aimed squarely in his direction. It was brilliant really, mininum effort for maximum impact. And aiming it solely at Black meant he would have no one to turn to about how strangely we were acting. He would look like a madman. At least, that was the plan.
So far it actually seemed to be working. Black narrowed his eyes at us before nudging an otherwise occupied Potter. He murmured something and pointed us out, but the second James looked in our direction we pretended to be innocently practising the Transfiguring spell.
I glanced up in time to see James shoot his friend a strange look, before continuing with his work. Lily and I cracked up into quiet laughter.
Lily jabbed her elbow into my side when she spotted McGonagall circuiting the classroom and we tried to focus back on the work we were supposed to be doing.
I jogged to the front and quickly picked a random object from the box on the desk. The idea was to transfigure your preferred item into a pure white dove.
I set the inanimate alarm clock I had chosen onto the table in front of us and Lily pointed her wand at it, uttering the spell. Sure enough we watched as the clock morphed into a very pretty white dove. It blinked it's shiny black button eyes at us and cooed softly.
Lily gestured at it again and it returned obediently into a clock.
Just as I had extricated my own wand ready to follow in Lily's lead, a loud attention seeking cough distracted my attention. "What do you want, Black?" I heard Lily demand.
Hardly daring to glance, I looked slowly up into the face of Sirius Black.
When he caught my eye he flicked his eyebrows upwards.
I responded with a cut of my eyes.
"So," he tried to sound casual, "just what were you two lovely ladies finding so thoroughly amusing a minute ago. It almost looked as though you were whispering about me..." he let his sentence trail off.
He looked from Lily to myself and I couldn't resist a smirk. "Oh, nothing..." Lily replied, the humour evident in her voice.
"Hmm," Black sounded with a knowing smile. He turned and pinned me with his stare, "If you want me so badly Morland you may as well come right out and say it." He let his eyes trail down over the front of my shirt. "We could find out if you're as naughty as I hope you are." He winked at me quickly while Lily shot me a look of mutual disgust at his words.
I shot him an unimpressed look. "Pervert."
Black barked out a laugh. "I'm not the one who's been wearing sexy red underwear, walking around the school pretending to be Little Miss Innocent," he shot back.
Lily looked at him strangely, "Well I should hope not, Sirius."
I laughed loudly at the image.
Black sent her a humourless smile. "Anyway, don't let me interrupt your first-class magical prowess, Morland." He gestured to the alarm clock, trying to regain control of the situation.
"Shouldn't you be over there practising your own spell?" I demanded.
He rolled his eyes and batted a careless hand. "I could perform that spell in my sleep," he replied arrogantly.
I desperately looked around the room in search of McGonagall. I knew from past experience she did not appreciate students wandering around her classroom when she had set them work to do, however she was frustratingly no where to be seen. It looked as though Black was here to stay.
Trying to give the impression I wasn't rattled by his presence I flourished my wand as if he wasn't there, "Transfigaro Contartum."
Both his and Lily's eyes were fixed on the clock as it shook itself into a new form, twisting this way and that until it let out a loud, "Sqwark!"
Black's barking laughter boomed through the air as a large fat chicken emerged from my spell, prancing proudly around the desk.
He slapped me hard on the back, "Close!" he said, his eyes practically welling up. "I can see how you would confuse a dove and a chicken with an eating problem."
My overweight chicken started to peck at Lily's textbook which lay innocently next to it, flinging it up into the air with his beak before letting it fall lamely to the floor. At this, he let out a new round of laughter and doubled over.
Even through my immense embarrassment I had to admit it was sort of funny, though I inwardly cursed him for making me nervous enough to make a mess of my spell. The entire class now looked on as it flew into Black's arms and he held it high above his head, brandishing it to the class.
"I give you Cheryl Morland's pure white dove," he called loudly. A peal of laughter erupted. That I did not find quite so funny. Stupid Black.
Without missing a beat, I noticed Lily pointing her wand discreetly at his back, muttering an unknown cantation.
Laughter burst from my mouth as I watched a great stream of creamy white poo come flowing from the chicken backside right onto his perfect head of shiny hair. The entire class joined in as it dripped satisfyingly down his forehead.
"Oh my God," I breathed, unable to believe what had happened. Lily grinned slyly at her own handiwork.
He let out a cry of disgust and dropped the chicken to the floor in an instant, his expression livid. Swinging one of his legs back, he readied himself to thrust one of his large boots into the poor bird's offending hole.
"What on earth is going on here?" McGonagall demanded from the doorway, having obviously overheard the students loud bursts of laughter from all the way down the hallway.
With a quick flick of her wrist, Lily changed the flapping chicken back into a clock and, unable to halt his momentum, Black thrust his disobedient foot forward and kicked the silver piece of plastic and metal at full speed across the room.
It hit the blackboard with a loud clang and fell to the floor, ringing incessantly.
Everyone's eyes darted from one side of the room to the other as if watching a tennis match. From Black to the bird, back to Black, then the clock, and finally settling on McGonagall.
The Transfiguration professor seemed at a loss with what he had just dared to do in her presence. She stared wide eyed from the source of the noise to the poop coated offender in a state of shock.
I couldn't help but laugh quietly. He was so in for it.
"To my office Mr Black," she squawked at him. "And if you know what's good for you, I suggest you make it snappy." She clicked her fingers impatiently.
"Lest I become tempted to transfigure you into a clock, and have my wicked way with you across the classroom."
To my surprise, he was brave enough to share a look of amusement with Potter across the room. "I would love for you to have your wicked way with me any day, Minerva," he told her, grinning now.
This garnered a few titters from the ready audience.
McGonagall gave him a steely smile. "Oh trust me Mr Black, you really wouldn't want my foot up your backside. I have developed a preference for pointed shoes."
At this the whole class erupted into laughter.
Black just smirked, taking a bow as he made to leave.
"Don't forget to clean the chicken shit off your head, Siri dear!" Marlene called after him.
Cue another round of laughter.
Luckily McGonagall had chosen this moment to feign deafness as she made her way calmly to her desk.
Black gave us a rather rude hand gesture before he left the room.
I think it was safe to say, Black: 0, The girls:1
