I am very excited about these prompts! A very big thank you to Akiru Chan and Disgruntled Minion for allowing me to use their story The Devil's Canvas as the background for these prompts! If you haven't read it yet, you really should. For one thing, it's amazing, and for another thing, it will probably be difficult to follow this story if you haven't read it. This starts at Chapter 46, and continues through Chapter 49. Read and review, flame if you must!
Please DO NOT ask about "What May Come" in any reviews! Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters Sebastian and Ciel. I do not own the background plot. So basically, I own nothing of this story. XD
Sebastian is prepared to die. He always has been. In his line of work, that's a requirement. Death can come at any moment from anywhere and anyone. It is best to be on your guard, but sometimes your best isn't enough.
Truth be told, he's been expecting death for quite some time now. There have been many scenarios where he should have died, but somehow he has managed to survive each one. But now, he knows that there is no escape for him. He has reached the end of his life, but that's okay with him because every hit, every cut, every bullet that he takes, he remembers he's doing it all for Ciel.
Sebastian is prepared to die.
Ciel is his life, and Sebastian is quite sure that he will also be the death of him. This he knows for certain when his lover storms the hideout to rescue him. Ciel rambles about bombs, and Sebastian believes him.
But dammit, it isn't supposed to end like this, he thinks bitterly. Ciel is supposed to be safe at home, recovering from his injuries, not here in this hellhole trying to save Sebastian.
But then the tables turn, and it is Sebastian who is now protecting Ciel's life. He isn't sure if they'll make it out, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try. But, he thinks, if he has Ciel by his side, then why not?
Sebastian is prepared to die.
And yet he doesn't.
When Claude informs Sebastian that Ciel is dead, the red-eyed man feels so drained, so numb. Ciel is his life - and yes, he refuses to think of Ciel in past tense because it can't be true. It just can't be true.
But the more Claude talks, the more Sebastian realizes that what he is saying is most likely the truth. After all, what motive would Claude have for lying to him?
Sebastian wants to die.
Before Ciel, he was just a hitman. With Ciel, he was someone special, loved. Without Ciel, he is nothing.
An ache settles in his chest; it is so deep, so painful, he can't help but to cry out. Ciel - his anchor, his lover, his everything - is gone. Never again will Sebastian be able to hold him in his arms. Never again will Sebastian be able to make love with him.
Sebastian wants to die.
And yet he doesn't.
When Will and the others burst into the room, pushing Ciel - alive, but just barely - Sebastian feels the beginning of hope pulsate through his body. Perhaps Ciel will return to him, and they can return back to their lives of taunting and teasing and loving.
But then Ciel flatlines again, and Sebastian is left to watch in horror as the doctors struggle to revive him once more. He screams - oh, does he scream - but the still body of his lover does not respond to his cries. And all too soon, his vision is bleeding black and he slumps onto the bed, in a drug-induced sleep, dead to the world around him.
And Sebastian isn't sure if he wants to die.
Ciel is the deciding factor in whether or not Sebastian will continue to live past this point. If the younger man dies, then so will Sebastian. Even if it's not in the physical sense, he will still die. He will be as a zombie, going through the motions of life but not really caring. For without Ciel, he isn't truly alive.
Ciel completes Sebastian, and Sebastian completes Ciel. Without one, the other simply does not exist. They are so connected - so intertwined - it is impossible to separate them. They always find their way back to each other.
And that is why, Sebastian decides, that if Ciel dies, he will die, too.
There is no point in living a half-life. He can't stand the thought of facing and traversing life by himself, without his lover. Sebastian had managed to do it once before during their separation, yet it had been easy since Ciel was still alive. He could still see the blue-eyed man.
If Ciel dies, then that's it. Sebastian won't be able to see him again, and it's that thought that hurts him the most. He needs to see Ciel, to touch him, to breathe in his scent. He needs to feel Ciel's body pressed against his.
Sebastian will die.
And yet he doesn't.
Sebastian lives to see another day, and at first, he's dreading it. His red eyes search for Ciel, and he finds him, alive. Relief floods through his veins, and feelings of gratitude well up inside of him.
Life is too precious, too short, he understands now. Sebastian can't bear to throw any time away, not when they've been granted another shot at life. He stares at Ciel's face and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he has indeed died and gone to heaven, for he will never find anything more perfect than this moment.
Lacing his fingers with Ciel's, Sebastian contents himself with just watching his lover breathe, up and down, up and down. He isn't sure how it came about, but they are both alive. Scarred - both mentally, physically, and emotionally - but they are alive.
And that, Sebastian decides, is the best thing of all.
