Like Juggling Snowballs through Hell
Before Mad-Eye could begin again, Fred and George spoke up.
"Before you start –"
"– Mum wanted us –"
"– to tell you –"
"– that she'd really like –"
"– to see you–"
"– and she promised –"
"– not a word about Dumbledore," Fred finished.
Although Ron and Ginny continued eating breakfast peacefully, Tonks's eyes crossed and Harry frowned at the twins. "Do you two have any idea how annoying that is?"
"Is it?" George asked seriously.
Harry stared at him. They really weren't aware? "It is, very much."
"Okay then," said Fred briskly with a nod to his twin. "You got the message anyway, right? Mum's having kittens, not having the chance to fatten you up."
"She might change her tune once she sees you now," Tonks said, giving Harry an approving once-over. Hermione and Ginny made noises of agreement, still clearly appreciative of Harry's literal overnight transformation despite their newfound 'understanding.'
"It might not be a bad idea," Remus spoke up. "Gives Alastor and I a day to prepare for your lessons."
"I suppose that works," Harry decided. "Nymphadora, you in for a trip to the Burrow?"
"I'm all yours, babe," she replied with a wink. "Maybe you can talk some sense into Molly and help her realize that our dearly beloved Headmaster isn't as altruistic as he appears."
Harry looked to Mad-Eye for confirmation, but he was prodding an omelet with his wand, clearly suspicious. Willie stood nearby, watching Mad-Eye with such a look of offense that Harry expected they hadn't seen the last of the House-Elf Retribution Front.
When everyone had finished eating and washed up, the teenagers plus Tonks made to leave.
Remus popped down from one of the libraries, where he had settled with Hermione-like enthusiasm. "Anything in particular you'd like to focus on when you return?"
"Dueling, Occlumency, Legilimancy, and Animagus transformation," Harry instantly reeled off. Hermione raised her eyebrows. "What? Just because I wasn't particularly concerned with academics for five years means I can't change my tune? Nothing like a life-or-death prophecy to give you a swift kick in the arse."
"If you need to be smacked in the arse," Tonks began quietly, quelled by a look from Remus.
Once past the boundary of the wards, the twins each took a girl, leaving Tonks with Ron and Harry, and all apparated to the Burrow. Molly Weasley met them in the garden, immediately sweeping Harry into a rib-cracking hug.
"Let me look at you," she said when she finally released him. Her eyes widened, and Harry was grateful to note that they only showed surprise and none of the other emotions that the other women in his life had shown. Immensely grateful.
"Do I pass inspection?"
She smiled fondly. "At least those Muggles have been feeding you properly for once. Now come inside out of this ridiculous heat."
While they draped themselves across the sitting room, soon joined by Bill and Fleur, Molly disappeared into the kitchen to fix lunch. Surprisingly, the twins offered to help.
"You've become quite the name over at Gringotts, Harry," Bill said. "Just be careful. Goblins are a tricky lot."
"I think they're rather similar to house-elves, though I'd never say it to one's face: if you treat them with respect, you'll earn theirs," Harry replied. "And they're not as tricky as Dumbledore."
Bill harrumphed. "Yes, about that –"
The twins bounced into the room with a large platter of goblets of pumpkin juice, distributing them across the room. "Here you are, Harry, Hermione," George said, handing them the last two remaining.
Everyone took a sip, and then two very interesting things happened at once. Hermione threw herself at Ginny, knocking the younger girl to the floor and pinning her there very effectively with her mouth. Harry slid down the sofa until his thigh was pressed against Ron's, stroking the side of his face. "You're pretty."
"Er, I am?" Ron repeated in a high voice, trying to move away but trapped by the arm of the sofa.
"What the bloody hell?" Bill asked in amazement. "What was in – GINNY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR HANDS!"
"I love you," sighed Harry.
On Harry's other side Tonks watched the two boys with some interest. "I don't know whether to be annoyed or turned on."
Alerted by the commotion, Molly ran into the room, coming to a screeching halt. Her eyes widened as she saw what could only be described as Harry petting Ron, and she let out a gasp when she spotted what could be seen of Ginny under Hermione. "Hermione? GINEVRA!"
Fleur covered her face with her hands. "What kind of family is zis I am marrying into?"
In the middle of it all, Fred and George merely watched with amusement.
"I know how to handle this," Tonks declared. She wound Harry's hands away from Ron, who breathed a sigh of relief only to cut off abruptly when she plopped herself in Harry's lap, resting her feet in Ron's and winding one hand around both boys' necks. "Pity you don't look like Charlie, but I can work with this."
Harry beamed. "As long as I can be with my beloved Won-Won."
"Help me," Ron pleaded weakly.
Seeing that his mother had lost the power of speech when Ginny was about one removed garment away from showing off just how many muscles were Quidditch-toned, Bill stood up, pointing an accusing finger at the twins. "What did you do?"
"Oi! We're the picture of innocence," Fred said, adopting an appropriate expression.
"It's clearly some type of love potion, and I know you two carry them at that shop of yours."
"You wound me –"
"– oh brother of mine. I would never –"
"– do such a thing."
"Don't you know how annoying that is?" Bill asked in exasperation. "Now tell me you left some antidote in your old room."
They exchanged a look. "We might have," admitted George, and they quickly disappeared upstairs.
Just then Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror and Order member, walked into the Weasleys' sitting room. "Sorry, Molly, I've been knocking but no one answered and I was worried …" he trailed off, his regal features showing first confusion and then astonishment as he took in the scene. "Er, Molly?"
"She's in a bit of shock," Bill said. "Someone supplied these two with a love potion. Fred and George are looking for an antidote right now, but I'm not sure what to do in the meantime."
"Unfortunately, it's best to let it play out," Kingsley advised. "Love potion victims have been known to become violent. Who are the victims, by the way?"
"Just Harry and Hermione, I believe."
"Merlin's beard! That's Potter?" Kingsley narrowed his eyes at the no longer scrawny teen.
"No more fucking glasses!" Harry shouted gleefully before returning his attention to his intended paramour. "All the better to gaze at this face."
Kingsley glanced at Bill with a trace of a smile. "And what about Ginny and Tonks?"
"My sister seems to be a rather willing participant," Bill said in a hard tone. "And I'm not sure what Tonks is doing. Tonks?"
The pink-haired Metamorphmagus barely glanced up, mischief written all over her face. "I'm instructing these two fine young men in the finer points of that lovely French experience known as a me–"
"Got it!" The twins thundered down the stairs, holding up a medium-sized vial. "A few drops of this will sort them right out."
Accordingly, the antidote was administered, though only after Ron personally asked Harry to drink some and Kingsley physically removed Hermione from Ginny. After a few seconds both victims sank into chairs, Hermione embarrassed and Harry mortified. Molly came back to life after Bill gave her a shot of Ogden's Finest, when she shocked everyone by throwing back like a pro. Ron wouldn't look Harry in the eye, Ginny was rather disappointed, and Tonks offered to take Harry's mind off it.
"Why are you here anyway, Shacks?" Tonks asked from her perch on the arm of Harry's chair.
"Looking for you, actually. You haven't been to work in several days."
"Work? Shite. I do have a job, don't I?" With one last soothing hug for Harry where his head just so happened to be on level with her cleavage, Tonks made tracks for the door. "Bye, all. I'm off like Hermione's knickers last night."
Bill stood in the middle of his room, looking from his mother, who flushed, to his twin brothers, who grinned. "Alright, no one else is leaving until we figure out what just happened."
