Disclaimer: I wish to own an angsty Ichigo and a very horny Grimmjow, but Kubo Tite owns them. Minus the 'horny' on Grimmjow's part though, regretfully.

Long chapter, and weird logic (twisted and inspired by Kubo Tite's own) is present once again… And Ichigo is very angsty and quite emo in this chapter. Well, why shouldn't he be?

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The war with Aizen and his Arrancars was over; Soul Society celebrated and welcomed their heroes back. Ichigo and his friends stayed over for the celebrations, and also for rest and healing before they return to the human world. All of them were fully healed by the third day of their stay, thanks to Unohana and her fourth division squad and also Orihime, but they continued to stay for the seemingly never-ending celebrations. The atmosphere was happily chaotic everywhere and at every squad. Kenpachi was already up and running on feet, chasing Ichigo for a duel; Rukia and Renji (awkwardly) having tea with Byakuya; Orihime, Chad and Ishida chatted, ate and drank (tea as well) with Unohana, and strangely, Kurotsuchi (Ishida was grateful Unohana didn't allow Kurotsuchi to 'heal' him with his healing method).

Finally when all the chaos had settled and the celebrations calmed down, the group of friends gathered for their own celebration. They didn't get the chance to do so due to the demand of their presence in numerous parties held by the squads and captains. Ichigo was still upset over the abandonment of Grimmjow at Las Noches, but he was too preoccupied by the activities to really show his sorrow. He decided to just be happy for the moment – besides, Ichigo wouldn't believe that Grimmjow was dead. Yeah, that was it. Grimmjow isn't dead. Ichigo let that thought cheer him up as they continued. All were having fun chatting and joking around, but Renji seemed to be distracted.

"Is there something wrong Abarai-kun?" Ishida asked the red-headed vice captain.

"Huh?" Renji snapped out of his daze. "Oh, it's nothing."

"Oi, Renji, what's up? You're ruining the mood here," Ichigo said. Renji scratched his chin in hesitation before he spoke again.

"It might not be a big deal," Renji started, brows furrowing in thought. "…But I've got some questions to ask you, Ichigo, and I want you to answer truthfully." The rest of the group perked up at the topic and the sudden tense atmosphere.

"Yeah?" Ichigo asked, wondering what the question would be innocently. Deep inside, he hoped it wouldn't be about a certain Espada.

"The Espada back then… Grimm-something? The one that saved you," Renji said. Ichigo felt his heart sink. Renji just had to pick on that subject. "He called you 'Ichi' didn't he?" Crap, Ichigo thought. He desperately clung onto his straight face and suppressed the blush that threatened to show at the mention of his pet name used by said Espada. "He sounds a little too familiar with you there, Ichigo." Everyone's eyes moved to Ichigo and the Vizard squirmed in his sear uncomfortably.

"I don't know about that…" Ichigo tried, avoiding everyone's gaze. "Probably he's tired of calling me 'Shinigami' every time we met and battle…" It sounded reasonable… right? Renji eyed him, making the teen more nervous. Ichigo was never good at lying or hiding things.

"Speaking of which," Rukia suddenly voiced out. Ichigo gulped at the seriousness of her voice. "The fight at the park with that Espada a few months back… If I recalled correctly, you had an opening for a finishing blow, Ichigo. But you didn't take it. In fact, I thought I saw you hesitate." All eyes were on him again.

"Look, Rukia… that was a long time ago and I don't remember why I didn't finish him off; probably my injuroes were too much," Ichigo said, "and I'm tired of talking now. Sleepy, so I'm going to sleep. See you guys tomorrow." Ichigo faked a yawn, got up and walked off quickly before anyone else could say a word. The group looked at one another at the orange-head's strange behavior. Orihime watched Ichigo as he left, feeling worry and concern for her friend. She knew Ichigo was still feeling the pain of the loss.

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"Inoue," Rukia called to the strawberry-blonde who had just completed her voluntary work with the 4th division squad.

"Yes, Kuchiki-san?" Orihime asked as she walked into a secluded area with Rukia. Renji popped up and greeted her. "Eh? Abarai-san too?"

"Inoue, both me and Renji had been thinking about that Espada and Ichigo," Rukia said. Orihime winced at where this was going. "…Inoue, we think you might know something about this. No… I think you do know."

"E-Eh? I don't…" Orihime shrank back. She didn't want to betray Ichigo.

"Inoue-san, please tell us. We need to know," Renji insisted. "You protested for Ichigo back then didn't you? And that Espada also said something to you…"

"R-Really, Kuchiki-san, Abarai-san! I really don't know! And… And that Espada had helped me escape, that's why I…" Orihime struggled to lie. It wasn't a full lie since the last part was true, but still Orihime couldn't lie no matter how small the lie was. And both Shinigami knew that.

"Inoue…"

"Do you guys really want to know that much?" an angered voice asked. All three turned to find the orange-haired teen standing a few metres from them, with an upset expression.

"Kurosaki-kun! I–I'm sorry I..." Orihime stammered helplessly.

"It's okay, Inoue. Thanks, you tried to cover for me," Ichigo smiled and walked to her side. Orihime looked back at him, a little confused.

"Ichigo, what do you mean by that?" Renji asked.

"You guys really have no right to interrogate Inoue, you know," Ichigo seethed. He hated to be the cause of trouble for other people.

"Ichigo, we just want to know. You're depressed over something, and it's most likely it's because of that Espada. Your clamming up on us isn't helping! Did he do something to you?!" Renji said angrily.

"I already told you: I can't tell you."

"Stop being stubborn, Ichigo! We're your friends!" Rukia pointed out angrily. "You know you can trust us, we -"

"Fine!" Ichigo snapped, making the three jump at his sudden outburst. 'Friends and trust' hit his nerve. He knew exactly how the two would react negatively to the secret, and it was the reason he didn't want to tell them. "I'll tell you then." Since they were begging for it, why not just shove it in their face? "I was sleeping with him. You happy now?"

"…What?!" Renji exclaimed. He did not just hear that.

"Ichigo?! Uso!!" Rukia reacted similarly as Renji. That can't be right!

"It's true…" Orihime added, eyes lowered.

"B-But since when?!" Renji couldn't stop yelling. It was too shocking. "When?! How?! Why?! What the – this is crazy!!" Renji's expression was completely of shock and disbelief.

"Ichigo, Inoue, stop joking!" Rukia said nervously.

"I'm not lying or joking. And those details are private, Renji," Ichigo replied curtly.

"But with an Arrancar, Ichigo?!" Renji stared agape at the orange-head. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" There was a hint of disgust in his voice, and Ichigo didn't like it one bit.

"I don't know, it just happened!" Ichigo yelled back frustrated, blushing slightly at a memory that came back.

"...Ichigo." All turned to Rukia. "Do you… Do you love him?" Renji stared agape at Rukia, then back to Ichigo, waiting for the answer. Ichigo immediately looked away and kept his lips shut. That action alone was enough of an answer for the two.

"Ichigo, what the hell possessed you to do such a thing?!" Renji was appalled. To have feelings for the enemy; to be intimate with the enemy - a Hollow, an Arrancar - he was supposed to kill… And that Espada even tried to kill him!

"I said I don't know, Renji!" Ichigo shouted. The three trembled as Ichigo's reiatsu shot up in his anger. "You're disgusted with me now? That I was fucking with the enemy?! That I'm in love with him?!? Now you don't have to worry, Renji, 'cause we left him back there to die!!" Ichigo's voice cracked at his last sentence. His expression twisted in pain and he bit his lip to stop himself from saying any more.

"Ichigo…" Rukia felt guilty. She didn't like the idea of Ichigo's relationship with the Arrancar, but they had no right to stop him. Furthermore, the Espada did save Ichigo, and had aided them in defeating Aizen.

Renji looked as guilty, but he was still against such a thing. That, Ichigo knew. The Vizard turned away and took his leave angrily. Orihime called and chased after him, leaving the two Shinigami to their thoughts.

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Ichigo was back in the human world, and he was glad to be home. The war had taken almost a month, and he missed the comforts of his bed terribly. Kon was also glad to see him again, glomping the Shinigami the moment he reappeared and asking for Rukia, Orihime and Matsumoto. Ichigo replaced the modified soul with his own into his physical body, and popped the pill back into the stuffed lion plushie.

Ignoring the plushie's protests, Ichigo laid back onto his beloved bed. So much had happened and he missed everything here at home. He missed school, his classmates, homework, his sisters and their cooking, and even his crazy father's antics. And Ichigo also missed something terribly as he glanced at his bedroom window.

Yeah, Ichigo missed that teal-haired horny bastard. Ichigo just couldn't – wouldn't accept it. The answer he received when he awoke at the 4th division's squad house and asked for the Arrancar. Ichigo believed Grimmjow was strong – there's no way he could die! But the image of said Espada's bloodied body on the ground kept haunting him. It drove him mad. Mad with guilt, anger, frustration and helplessness. How could he, Ichigo, the hero of Soul Society, and supposedly of the war – let someone he cared for die? And Grimmjow had sacrificed his life for Ichigo's mistake in being distracted in battle. He hated himself terribly. Ichigo buried his face in the pillows with clenched teeth and fists.

"King…" his inner Hollow called. Ichigo's anger rose at his voice. The nerve of this being… "It's raining here, King."

"Fuck you, Hollow," Ichigo growled. He shut his eyes and let himself slip into his Inner World where Hichigo stood, completely drenched from the rain and looking slightly pissed. The sky was indeed dark and gloomy, with rain pouring down heavily. Thunder and lightning were present as well, probably due to his anger.

"Stop thinkin' 'bout him, King," Hichigo said, surprisingly sounding almost remorseful.

"You!" Ichigo lunged at the white being, screaming angrily at the Hollow as he punched him continuously. The Hollow retaliated and threw Ichigo off.

"Don't fuck with me, aibou, I did what I hafta do," Hichigo hissed, "If I didn't do it, ya'd never have done it an' we'd both be dead! I told ya, aibou, that I can choose when ta let ya rule over me." Ichigo's glare overflowed with anger and deep loathing towards his Hollow self. Hichigo clicked his tongue in resignation and shrugged, "Look, King, I'm sorry tha' Grimmjow died, but ya gotta -"

"You're sorry Grimmjow died?" Ichigo laughed almost wickedly, a sound that Hichigo didn't like. It sounded too much like his own laugh, and that wasn't his real King. "Don't fucking bullshit me, Hollow! You're the one who killed him! You…" Ichigo grabbed the Hollow by the collar, and punched him once again. Hichigo fell to the floor but didn't fight back. He only looked back at Ichigo with a blank face. Still angered, Ichigo took hold of his zanpakutou and raised it at Hichigo, wanting to kill the other so bad.

"Ichigo," Zangetsu disappeared from Ichigo's hand, and its spirit form stood behind him. He placed a gentle hand on Ichigo's shoulder who calmed at the touch.

"Zan… Zangetsu…" Ichigo turned to the sword spirit. "I was… so weak…" Zangetsu shook his head slowly.

"No, Ichigo. You were strong. And you still are," a rare smile crept up on Zangetsu's lips briefly before it faded away. "But Hichigo did the right thing, and you do know that." Ichigo frowned and bowed his head in shame. Zangetsu's eyes moved to Hichigo, who had stood and straightened himself up with a somber expression on his white face. The touch on Ichigo's shoulder tensed slightly and Ichigo looked up. "We too, are mourning for him." Zangetsu's eyes were now completely hidden behind his shades, almost as if on cue.

"...King," Hichigo called once more. Ichigo turned. The white being's unusually somber expression disturbed Ichigo somewhat. "…We… didn't really want ta do it either. For you." Ichigo raised an eyebrow and felt himself soften at the words. "…But he wanted us ta do it."

'He'? Ichigo frowned confusedly, "Who?"

"Grimmjow," Ichigo's eyes widened. He grabbed Hichigo by the collar again, demanding for an explanation. Hichigo didn't react but just stared at Ichigo with his golden-black eyes. "Ya know that he did that reiatsu transfer thing?" Ichigo narrowed his glare. "Ya both are actually connected through it somehow. I chose ta not eat his reiatsu all the way – I don't know, I don't really like that bastard but yer stupid feelin's rubbin' onta me – and since he wasn't dead, da remaining reiatsu of his in yers acted as a link. Somethin' ta do with spirit threads, maybe, or whatever," Hichigo paused to allow Ichigo to think his words through. "We were da only ones who can hear it though."

Ichigo scowled at this. His frowned deepened and he asked, "And so?"

"...He told us ta do it. Grimmjow found out about da link somehow and he growled at me ta do it instead of ya. Knew ya'd be bitchin' and whinin' about not wantin' ta do it. Guessed he knew that ya'd never have da heart, King," the Hollow explained. Ichigo kept quiet at all the overwhelming information that was given to him. The words hit him slowly, and when they did, Ichigo's fist shivered against Hichigo and Ichigo gave a pained smirk to him.

"You're really full of bullshit, Hollow," Ichigo managed to say, still in denial of the truth.

"I'm not lyin', King." Ichigo looked desperately to Zangetsu, who gave a small remorseful nod and Ichigo's body went numb.

"Fuck…" Ichigo's fist in Hichigo's robes tightened. "FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!" Ichigo yelled angrily, though not at his Hollow. Ichigo's body trembled so hard, it almost looked as if he was convulsing. Ichigo's knees buckled as he continued to scream in anger, voice hoarse and choked. He sank to his knees and rested his hands against the floor to support himself while overwhelming pain and sorrow took over. Tears stung his eyes and Ichigo could no longer hold them back. He hadn't experienced such strong sadness since the day his mother died, and his head throbbed and ached. "Grimmjow, you fucking idiot…"

Gentle hands rested on his shoulders, and Ichigo felt warm presences by his side as he grieved.

"Forgive me, Ichigo." "Sorry, King…"

Ichigo only sobbed harder in response and his Inner World grieved along with him, rain beating down ever heavier.

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"Oi, Ichigo!" A knock on the door.

"What?" Ichigo replied in annoyance to his father's voice. He had locked himself up in his bedroom these days, and waving off every single person who tried to talk to him.

"Let Daddy in, Ichigo! Daddy wants to spend some father-and-son alone time with you!!" Isshin chirped from behind the door.

"Like hell I will!" Ichigo hissed, but opened his bedroom door anyway. Ichigo however, was startled by the face his father had when he opened the door. He was smiling, but one that meant he was being serious. "Old man?"

Isshin let himself in and sat on his son's bed, quite to Ichigo's annoyance.

"Is anything wrong, Ichigo?" his father asked as Ichigo took a seat beside him on the bed. Ichigo jumped at the question.

"Um, no…" was Ichigo's reply, and Isshin gave a hearty laugh.

"Ichigo, I know when you're lying," Isshin said. Ichigo shifted uneasily in his spot, eyes averting away from his father's. "You've been depressed ever since you came back and took over Kon." Ichigo blinked. How did he know about Kon? Ichigo shrugged and chose to ignore it. Admittedly, Ichigo wanted to open up. He needed to. And no matter how crazy his father is, he knew his father could help him.

"I… lost a friend," Ichigo said softly. "A close friend."

"I see," Isshin merely replied. There was an awkward pause and Isshin spoke again, "Well, Ichigo. It may not be fair to say this, but we've been through such a thing before. This isn't the first time you've lost someone close to you." Ichigo knew he was referring to his late mother. "How are we doing now? I say we're doing pretty good, don't you think? In moving on, I mean. I know it's hard at first – it always is. We all shed tears and mourn and grieve for a while but aside from that we can't do anymore." Isshin smiled. "The best we could do for us, the living, is to move on for our own sake, our other loved ones and also for the passed. Surely the ones who left would also feel sad to see that they're the cause of our sadness too." Ichigo stared at his father.

"Wow, old man, I didn't know you could do a speech," Ichigo retorted sarcastically. Isshin gave him a mock hurt look.

"Well, as long as we remember them and how they've affected us, it's fine, right?" Isshin smiled again and ruffled his son's spiky orange locks. Ichigo kept quiet as Isshin got up to take his leave.

"Old man," Ichigo called to his father. Isshin stopped by the door and turned to his son who smiled gratefully. "Thanks, dad."

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Another two months flew past after the war in Hueco Mundo had ended. Ichigo was feeling much better now, thanks to the talk with his dad. Life was back to normalcy, and the same routine of school, homework and Hollow-fighting. His Shinigami friends would also drop by occasionally to check up on him. Rukia and Renji had came by to apologize, with Rukia saying that she didn't mind whatever choice Ichigo makes while Renji reluctantly agreed.

After that, life seemed to be boring. It was plain and drab. Fights were boring, since the Hollows that came for souls in the human world were too weak. Even sparring with the Vizards had become almost easy, even with the whole group of Shinji, Hiyori and company ganging up on him. Ichigo still did find himself thinking of Grimmjow once in a while, though now his emotions were much stable. Grimmjow had always made his life a little more interesting, and sparring with him was more fun than sparring with anyone. He didn't really know the reason for so back then, but Ichigo knew it now. Ichigo sighed, forcing to stop his thoughts of the Arrancar.

Urahara hadn't been bugging Ichigo lately ever since Ichigo came back. The teen hadn't even had a glimpse of his face since he had returned. He wanted to ask the ex-captain if he could do something about his (still growing and) already immense reiatsu, since Ichigo was bad at hiding it and thus would attract unwanted attention. But each time Ichigo dropped by the shop the past two months, it would be closed and locked. Even a barrier was set up. At times he caught Ururu or Jinta outside the shop, but both would always manage to wriggle out of his grasp and into the shop without uttering a single word. Maybe Urahara's inventing some top-secret thing, Ichigo thought to himself absently, Can't wait for the reveal then. And Ichigo left it at that.

Ichigo placed down his pen and stretched his arms. He leant back against his desk chair, satisfied that he managed to complete his homework early. Ichigo glanced at the clock which read 9:35pm. It was too early for him to sleep, and Ichigo would only have to end up doing nothing but study again. Boring. Usually Ichigo would take a much longer time to complete his schoolwork, sometimes not even managing to complete it at all due to distractions from someone… Ichigo scratched his head. Not only he was bored, he was sexually deprived. Blame it on that horny prick for always sexing him up. But Ichigo wasn't one to complain; he enjoyed it and now he really, really missed said bastard's touch…

Ichigo let out a deep sigh. He had been sighing a lot lately. Because he kept thinking of him again. Ichigo turned to look at the window. It was open and wind blew in, and the curtains danced in the night breeze. Ichigo had been keeping his window open in memory of him, since he would always come by through the window. Another sigh and Ichigo turned away. He got up and occupied himself by clearing up his homework and schoolbooks.

THUD. Ichigo dropped the books in his hand and his eyes immediately snapped to the window. Ichigo raced to it and looked out of it eagerly, scanning the area for anything, something. But there were only shadows.

"No, it can't be," Ichigo mumbled to himself. "It can't be him." Ichigo swore he thought he felt his reiatsu nearby. Ichigo smirked at himself. Maybe he was tired. A lot of homework does things to one's head at times. Ichigo ignored his uncertain feelings and looked to the night sky. Yeah, I gotta move on, Ichigo thought with a smile at the moon and slid the door close.

Ichigo got back to his desk and continued cleaning up his books. He did so quietly, yet engrossed in it since he didn't notice the clicks of his unlocking window. But Ichigo immediately stiffened when he heard the low rumble of the window sliding open and Ichigo faced the window once again.

A teal-haired man in white with markings under his eyes and a broken yet menacing bone-like mask on his right jaw sat on Ichigo's bedroom window sill. The man broke into a feral grin and Ichigo could only stare wide-eyed, stunned.

"Yo, berryhead," Grimmjow greeted casually.

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This is the end!! Yay!!!

Okay, I'm kidding, though it was first meant to be the end. One more chapter to go; something like an epilogue. A follow-up on Ichi's and Grimm's activities after they've been reunited! Personally, I think the ending's rather cliché? Oh well… Anyways, the next chapter would/may contain some explanation as to how and why dear beloved Grimm survived. And perhaps a jealous Ichigo too X3 Oooh yes yes, that would definitely be a good idea (evil snigger).

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand THANK YOU to all who have reviewed and egged me on!! I love you guys!! I promise GrimmIchi smut in next chapter in return… Because that's the only thing I can do since I'm pretty much hopeless at everything… So yeah! Thanks again!! I love you guys who reviewed, added the fic to story alerts and favorites!!! (drowns readers in a flood of gratitude tears)