Pretty Little Lovers Untamed
Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated.. First I had like a million things to do at school. But for the next few days I'm on spring break and going to be updating a lot.. On this story and one of my Fuffy ones. Please review.
Chapter 9
Caleb set his jaw and kept his teeth ground together the entire drive to Emily's house. He hated what he was about to do, but he had to do it. He didn't want to sit around worrying anymore. If Hanna wanted to be with Emily, then he was just going to let her be with Emily. When he got to Hanna's house, he could see her already sitting on Emily's front porch. She had on pajamas he didn't recognize and he knew he was jealous because he could feel his cheeks getting hot. He turned the car off and slammed his door a little too hard.
"Hey Han," he said, and pushed his hands into his pocket. "What're you wearing?"
"Oh," Hanna looked down at her shorts. "These are Emily's. I.. I was wearing the dress and I didn't want to sleep in that.. So she let me borrow some of her pajamas."
He nodded, surly. "Okay. I thought so."
Hanna waited for him to sit down and when he didn't, she felt a lump forming in the back of her throat. "So," she started, her voice already shaking. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Us," Caleb said, and he sounded upset too, though his voice was stern and steady. Hanna could see pain in his eyes though and that hurt her to witness. She knew she was treating him wrong, but she also cared about him quite a bit.
"What about us?"
He cleared his throat and kicked at a pebble on Emily's sidewalk that led up to her porch. "Well, I've been thinking about it for a while actually." He looked away from her and tossed his head to get his hair out of his eyes. He'd undone his hair and it lay loosely around his face. "I get this vibe around you and Emily," he said. "And I love Em, don't get me wrong. But I think..I think you feel something for her. And I can't.. I can't compete with that."
Hanna stood up. The chilly night air made her have goosebumps on her legs and she was shivering. "Caleb.."
He held up his hand. "No, listen. I'm not mad at you. I'm just jealous. I can't deal with you liking her and being with me, thinking one day you're going to leave me for her. So.. So I think.."
"Caleb," Hanna tried again and took a step towards him. "Can't we talk about this? You mean so much to me and..."
He laughed, but it was a sarcastic and wounded laugh. "That's just it Han," he explained, backing up, not letting her touch him. "You tell me that you care about me and that I mean so much to you, but you never say you love me. And I love you Hanna Marin. Maybe I always will. But I can't stand here loving you when I think that you're feeling the same way I'm feeling about you.. About Emily Fields." He breathed out slowly and crossed his arms over his chest.
"So what?" she said, unable to argue with what he was saying because, honestly, she didn't know what she felt for him and couldn't deny that she DID feel something for Emily. Something strong and scary. "So what do you want to do?"
"I know you wouldn't act on your feelings for Emily," Caleb told her, "But I don't like that I'm keeping you from it. I think.. I think that we should take a break."
Hanna swallowed uneasily. Had Caleb just said that he didn't think she'd actually act on her feelings for Emily? Her mind instantly started to replay their make out session. It had felt so GOOD to kiss Emily. And she'd done it behind Caleb's back. Maybe it WAS for the best that they took a break. She sighed. "I don't want you to be unhappy or scared," she told him.
He frowned at her. Even though he maybe knew that she did want Emily, he had expected her to actually fight for their relationship. He blinked at her and said, "So you think it's a good idea?"
Honestly, Hanna didn't know what she thought. She wanted to keep Caleb and make everything okay again.. But at the same time she wanted to go back upstairs and be in Emily's arms. Why was life so hard sometimes? She sniffled and realized she was crying. "I think.. I think that maybe we should," she found herself saying. "I mean, you're not happy and I want you to be happy."
Caleb turned and walked away. He knew what that meant. It's wansn't Hanna being selfless- it was Hanna realizing that she could do whatetver she wanted with Emily now that she didn't have to worry about Caleb anymore. He got into his car and turned the key in the ignition not even bothering to look back to the porch. He backed out and drove away before he could change his mind.
Hanna felt Caleb leaving her in more than one way and she wondered if she should have said something that she didn't say. She wondered if there had actually been any way at all of salavaging their relationship. But as soon as she remembered whose house she was at, she knew that there wasn't. She had feelings for Emily. But what did that mean? She sobbed openly into her hands, wishing things would just make sense for once.
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