Disclaimer: Don't own. Still. But I'm working on it. Just kidding. That would take time and effort, both of which are foreign concepts to me.

Requested by: No one, because only dear sweet UsagiPyonPyon-Alice and 'Guest' gave me suggestions! Thanks for all of the follows and faves though, still love ya! But if you want funny crack, you gotta review! I can probably still make your requests this crack week, but please, REVIEW! Before I bite your heads off like the angry T-Rex I am. Rawr.


Crack Pairing: FinlandxLitchenstein

Horrified Observer: Switzerland, who can't sleep for weeks

Oh god... I'm adding more people, just so ya know!

"Finny? Are you ok?" The child-like boy Liechtenstein skipped merrily up to Finland after a meeting. Said Finn smiled gently and nodded, not noticing the nickname given to her or the perverse smirk lighting the Liechtensteiner's face.

Suddenly, the blonde-haired boy grabbed Finlands cheeks and pulled her into a passionate lip lock... Just as Switzerland was walking around the corner. Sadly, Switzy was carrying a cup of coffee, which she chose to spill down her front as she froze at the sight in front of her.

'Oh. My. Fucking. Fuck. My. Holy. I. What? I don't? How? Why?' The Swiss girl's mind screamed. The image was forever burnt in her mind. Forever.

Sweden entered next to Switzerland and burst into tears as she ran away, screaming something about "buying cats to keep her company" and "sending Finland straight to hell" and other shit. Because she can.

Sealand popped in behind Switzy and gasped before fangirlling, "OMG, totally did not see that coming!"

"Go back to England!" Switzerland yelled in frustration, angering the Sealander, who muttered something about "seeing Sea in her nightmares" and other shit like that. Man, that family has a bad habit. Really.

Once the two pulled apart, Liechtenstein grinned, "So, how was that?" before getting totally bitch-slapped. Like, for reals, yo.

"I feel so violated!" The Finnish girl cried, running of to apologize to her wife and to make her daughter stop watching those soaps with America! Only grannies with a million cats and old melted candies in their purse watch those! Like Sweden if they ever got divorced!

"So..." Liechtenstein drawled, "wanna make out?"

Later that night...

"Still haunting me... Save me... Please!"


Crack Pairing: Poland x Italy (seems legit)

Horrified Observer: Estonia, who blows up the world (seems legit *shot*)

"Mmmmm... I love this, Pola- Ah! Ah! Ah!"

"Are you ok? Italy? Did that hurt?"

"No, I'm fine... Just got a little stuck's all!"

Estonia listened from outside the door, her face gradually growing redder and redder.

"Ve, that's much better! See, that feels good, right? Nice and gentle... There you go! Up, down, up, down..."

The Estonian woman backed away slowly from the door and ran to her room, where she slammed the door shut. She had been training for this moment for centuries, and now it was time. She headed methodically to her large computer screen, where she slipped her headphones on over her ear.

Before speaking she adjusted the microphone, then looked solemnly at the screen, "I always feared that this day would come... You know, Poland and Italy... Well, sadly, that day had to be today! I was going to go see the new Justin Bieber concert! Oh wait... Look at that, I was right! It really IS Armageddon! That obliterate button's not gonna push itself!" And she reached her hand towards the button in slow-mo.

With Poland and Italy, they had finally finished eating their second batch of homemade pasta. It was a good thing that Poland got Italy's curl untangled from her fork carefully, or something bad could have happened! Am I right? Am I?

After they sorted out the Italian girl's hair, Italy gave Polska a lesson on making homemade noodles and how to turn the handle; not roughly, but gently up and down.

Oh yeah, and then the world blew up. But seriously, Bieber? Really Estonia? Other-America is rubbing off on you. And that's why Italy and Poland should never date. Ever.


A/N: Hopefully you guys will REVIEW and give me some ideas for crack week! If ya want it, give me something to work with, or else I'll be forced to spew out this crap-sterpiece!

RE. VIEW. NOW.