Chapter 9

It was decided that the Inquisitor would rest for three more days before setting out to deal with more rifts and conflicts around Thedas. On the eve of her departure, Cullen hunted down Varric, one of her companions who had agreed to accompany her. He was in his usual place, by the fire, sitting at the long table and tending to some messages recently delivered by one of the tower's ravens. He looked up from his task when he heard Cullen approach and leaned back in his chair.

"Commander, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Varric" Cullen replied with a polite nod, "I have a favour to ask of you"

"Anything for you, Curly". Cullen internally winced at the use of the unwelcome nickname.

"I was hoping you would watch over Ath – the Inquisitor when you are away. I know she can take care of herself but as this is her first mission after the recent incident, I was hoping you would keep me updated. Unofficially". Satisfied with his justification he waited anxiously for Varric's response. The dwarf just looked at him, a smug look on his face as if he knew Cullen's deepest secrets.

"Of course, Curly. Is this purely the concern of a friend or…" he purposely let his voice trail off, allowing the Commander to put two and two together. His smug look intensified as he watched the crimson blush flush over Cullen's face.

"Of course it is, I have no idea what you are attempting to imply but whatever it is, I can assure you there are no ulterior motives! But…thank you" and with that Cullen swiftly turned on his heels and began marching back to the safety of his office.

"Any time, Curly!" Varric bellowed after the retreating Commander. The smile lingered on his features as he returned to the papers in front of him.


Athena lay in her tent, eyes heavy with exhaustion yet unwilling to give way to sleep knowing the terrors that awaited her there. They had completed their business in Crestwood without too many complications and although her anxieties had begun to settle, she still wished for the safety of Skyhold. She moved to rest her arm over her eyes in the vain attempt to hold them closed and force her body into submission. The wind bashed against the thin sheets of the tent, making Athena all too aware of the little protection it offered from outside perils. Automatically, her free hand began moving towards her vacant staff, readying herself for any danger that might present itself. She lay like this for what felt like hours before her body eventually settled into a restless sleep.

Death. Death everywhere. Haven was burning as the Archdemon flew overhead. A piercing scream forced Athena to whip her head towards the source of the sound. Her eyes found Flissa's, who had been pushed to the ground by a Red Templar. Her eyes bore into Athena's as fear consumed her, bracing herself for the final blow and for death to claim her soul.

"Help. Please" she breathed out but Athena couldn't move, her legs seeming to be trapped in the earth. All she could do was watch as the sword plunged into Flissa's chest. Watch as blood gushed out of the open wound as the Templar pulled out his weapon and turned to find his next victim. Watch as Flissa's eyes glazed over and death ripped her from this word, as her head hit the cold ground and the last shaky breath left her body.

"No!" Athena yelled to no avail. But she could not morn for long as suddenly she found herself standing in the Chantry. Varric was the first she saw. Lying, cold, dead. Bianca laying lame beside his still form, drowning in a pool of her owners' blood. She turned away from the scene, only for her eyes to settle on Cassandra and Blackwall, who's bodies had been skewered next to each other as they had desperately made their final stand, eventually succumbing to the hoard of corrupted Templars. Iron Bull and Krem were still alive, frantically trying to inhale air through the pool of blood that was gathering in their mouths, attempting to reach out to each other, if only to know they were not alone as they slipped away to the Makers side. Athena clamped her eyes shut after that, incapable of taking anymore.

"Athena"

She shook her head, unable to look towards the person who spoke her name. She knew that voice. She knew he would come. He always does.

"Athena, look at me. Look at what you have caused. You failed. You killed us all!" he spat at her. Slowly her eyes opened and standing before her was Cullen. He was being restrained by two Red Templars, his sword having been ripped from his hand and flung to the other side of the hall. His eyes were cold, filled with hatred as he stared her down. The Ancient One crept up behind him, a dagger resting casually in his hand. Athena watched as he stepped closer and closer to Cullen.

"Please. Stop. Spare him. Kill me instead" she begged, desperately trying to move her hands to aim a spell towards Corypheus, only to find she had been chained down, the metal cuffs digging into her wrists as she attempted to twist herself free.

"Please, stop!" she yelled one more time, praying tonight would be different. Praying she could free herself and save the man standing before her. If she could only save one. But Corypheus did not stop. He lifted the dagger and held it to Cullen's throat yet did not go straight for the kill. Instead he waited until Athena looked up, waited until she stared into Cullen's eyes and saw the fear and disappointment held within them.

"You are a failure" Corypheus lashed out, his harsh voice cutting through her as he slowly pulled back the blade against Cullen's throat. Athena screamed as she watched the blood pour from his neck. Suddenly she found she could move as she rushed to catch his falling, lifeless body. She fell to the ground as she failed to support his weight, desperately yelling for him to not be dead. But he was and she could not stop it from happening. She buried her face into his chest, gripping the material in her fist until they turned white and her nails painfully dug into her skin.

Suddenly she jerked awake, breathing erratically and a layer of sweat covered her entire body. Her eyes darted around the small tent, realisation sweeping over her. It was a dream. It was only a dream. She attempted to slow her breathing, griping the material of her sleeping shirt and wiping the moisture from her forehead. After a few seconds she scrambled out of the tent, unable to stand the confines of the small space any longer. The bitter chill of the wind brought some relief as she allowed it to cool her burning skin. Closing her eyes, she lifted her head up, breathing in as much of the fresh air as she could before letting out a sigh. When she opened her eyes, she spotted Varric standing at the other side of the camp, releasing a raven into the sky. Although it was unusual for anyone to be awake at this early hour, she was relieved to not be alone. Slowly she made her way over to the dwarf, mentally building up her walls and covering up her scared features with the confident mask she always wore. It was just a dream.


As soon as Cullen had received Varric's message he had readied his horse and left Skyhold. She was struggling. He could not sit by idly, knowing she was not managing. Varric informed him of the whimpers they heard coming from her tent every night and the dark circles they saw every morning before she had time to fully hide her struggles from the world. Him also told Cullen of their decision to travel to Emprise du Lion without stopping at Skyhold to collect supplies, requesting that Scout Harding arranged for their supplies to be delivered to the area instead to save time. Cullen could not endure another three weeks without being able to see her. That is how he came to rest at the Inquisition camp at Empire du Lion, sitting in front of the log fire and rubbing his gloved hands together to assist the circulation in his hands. He wasn't sure what excuse he would come up with to justify him being there. He did not care at that point in time, instead he anxiously awaited her arrival.

Night was making its presence known before hooves could be heard advancing towards the camp. Cullen turned on his seat, abandoning the fire's warmth in a hopeful attempt to catch a glimpse of Athena. Suddenly, her horse came into view and his heart raced as she approached the site. No bad injuries, thank the Maker. He let out a breath he did not realise he had been holding in. She slid of her mount, guiding it towards the makeshift stables that had been set up. Afterwards, she turned to inspect the requisition when she caught sight of the Commander staring at her. She stopped in her tracks, shock flooding her face; she was unsure she was seeing things correctly. She began making her way towards him, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Commander, I thought I had left you to command my army back at Skyhold?" she teased as she took a seat next to him. Although she offered him a genuine smile, Cullen still questioned whether she was happy to see him or if he had made a huge mistake travelling all the way here.

"I had business near by and thought since you were travelling to this area I would stop by…to say hello" he lied. She knows that's a lie you fool, you have never been able to lie. But he stuck with what he said, not wanting her to believe he thought her incapable but also not wanting her to realise the extent of his feelings for her.

"Well this is certainly a pleasant surprise! How long will you be staying with us?" she inquired, thankfully deciding not to question the Commander further.

"I don't actually know. I hadn't planned that far ahead" he replied, slightly looking down with embarrassment as he realised how disorganised he sounded.

"Thank you, it's…good to see you" and the smile she offered him nearly took his breath away. It gave him enough confidence to carry on with what he needed to say.

"I – I was wondering if you might wish to accompany me at some point whilst I am here? I have something I would like to show you". He hated how shy and unsure he sounded as he proposed his question to her. However, she did not look opposed to the idea and that filled him with hope.

"Of course. May I ask what it is?". Her eyes glinted with curiosity and something Cullen could only guess was happiness. He shook his head, returning the smile.

"I would prefer to show you". She nodded and before the couple could discuss anything else, her travelling companions joined them at the camp fire.

"Curly! What a surprise!" yet Cullen guessed from the tone of his voice Varric was not at all surprised to see him here. Blackwall and Iron Bull on the other hand looked as shocked as Athena had when she had first spotted him. Cullen offered Varric a weak smile instead, nervous about what the dwarf might possibly say about his presence. Thankfully, the group settled into pleasant conversation and the issue was not brought up again.

That night, Cullen lay on the hard mattress, trying to settle the thoughts racing through his mind. Although his armour had been discarded, he made sure to keep his sword within arm's reach, always prepared for the possibility of an attack. He let out a sigh as he allowed his eyes to close and tried to concentrate on the sounds around him instead of all the work he needed to do in the following weeks. Suddenly he heard an unfamiliar noise. It was quiet at first, too quiet for him to distinguish what it was but gradually it began to get louder and Cullen realised it was the sound of distressed whimpering. Athena. She was in the tent next to him. He sat up, listening to see if the sounds would stop, signalling she had managed to settle into a more peaceful sleep. Instead however, her whimpers got louder and he knew he could not sit there and do nothing to help. He exited his tent and saw that everyone else had retired to their own beds except for a few soldiers he could see in the distance who had been giving the unfortunate task of first watch. He made his way to her tent, the whimpers becoming clearer and were now accompanied with desperate pleas. She was clearly in a lot of distress and it made Cullen's stomach twist painfully. He called her name out softly, hoping that it may stir her from her sleep but after a few attempts he concluded that it would not work. He gingerly lifted the tent flaps and entered the small space. She had pushed away the bed covers due to her erratic movements, a clear sign her body was desperately trying to pull her out of the nightmare. Hair was stuck to her forehead as sweat dripped from her temple. Slowly he reached out one hand and stroked her head, gently whispering her name. Her body lashed out more viciously as the dream intensified.

"Athena, wake up. Please wake up".

His voice eventually awoke her from the terror and her eyes darted open. Even in the dim light, he could see her green orbs were gripped with fear and pain. She stared up at him, confused and relieved that he was there.

"Cullen" she breathed as she lifted her small hand to touch the side of his cheek.

"You're safe. Everything is okay. It was just a dream" he whispered, rearranging himself to be able to cradle her head in his arms. He felt her shake in his embrace, still trying to distinguish reality from nightmare. Eventually she settled and turned her gaze towards him.

"But you died. I watched you die. I failed you…" her voice cracked as she spoke the last part, guilt lacing her features.

"I'm here, I'm alive and you have never failed me. You never will, Athena". His words seemed to settle her and she lifted out of his embrace.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I'll be okay. You should get some rest". The walls were beginning to reform, shielding her emotions and suffering from the world.

"You didn't wake me and I am not leaving you like this" he whispered in her ear, bringing her close to his body and stroking her head. She relaxed into his touch and rested her head on his chest. Neither knew how long they sat like that. Neither knew how they ended up lying down and neither would admit the comfort they gained from having the other next to them. They both drifted off to sleep, safe in each other's arms.


So as an apology for my radio silence I have completed the next chapter early. I hope you enjoy, my fellow Dragon Age fans!