Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy Richelle Mead does. I only own Jesse, and the band members and some of the guardians.

A/N: some of you have been asking me about when is Dimitri going to find out what's wrong with Rose and why did she leave? Well we are getting closer… also some of you are wondering why everyone turned on Rose after lissa became Queen, everything will be answered soon. I promise that everything will be set right again with rose and the gang. Please review this story.

Day 200

Things are good today. I haven't been myself. But the songs were coming to me real fast. We finally finished up a Cd and now we're on tour. This is a new day and this is something I don't like. The memories of my past is that and only that. The flash backs don't happen as much as they used to.

The only wish that I have is that I wish that my father was here to help me. I dial his number and hang up because I'm scared he'll send me back to Court where I'm not welcomed or he'll yell at me. I've written letters and letters to Dimitri about what happened after we brought Jill back to court and what I was going through. Then I would think about sending the letters, but they would end up in the box of all the other letters I've written to him. The same goes for the others. I miss them so much that it kills me even down to think about them all. I started another journal full of letters to them. But I haven't decided to send them the letters.

I look out the window of my room and think about how everyone I once knew would be getting up soon and how I'll be going to bed. I thought about walking at night, but then I told myself that I shouldn't because it's not right, and that I need to stop thinking about them.

One of Jesse's friend brother tried to ask me out on a date and I had to turn him down. He asked me why and I told him that I wasn't ready to date anyone after I had gotten my heart broken where I couldn't let anyone love me the way Dimitri did. He told me that I needed to try and I did. But I ended it a week later and told him I could only be friends. He was mad at whoever broke me. He has been a good friend of mine since then. When he found a girl to date he decided to test her with me around. She was alright and didn't bother to ask what was going on. I told her that I was only a friend and nothing more.

Soon we would be starting our tour and I couldn't wait. I wanted to sing and be happy and this is the only way I can be happy. I love my life right now. But my past is another story.

RHM

DAY 210

It's two days since I've been on tour with the band and all. I hate that I have to sing when I know that I could run into anyone from my past. But the only thing is that I'm scared to death from seeing them. I've changed since I left court, left them. I know my father has been looking for me because Jesse knows someone who works for my father. He tells this person that he hasn't seen mw which isn't a good idea but for me it's a good idea.

Though I miss everyone, it still hurts me that they have betrayed me like they did. I wanted nothing more than to know what I did wrong and why I'm being punished for something that I never did, I hate this. I need to stop thinking about the past and at the same time I can't help it.

RHM

DPOV:

I watched as Rose walked back into the house. I knew that something happened to her because Abe has been acting strange since he started to read that book. A book I've never seen before. I wanted to know what secrets that Rose has been keeping from me and why she won't talk to me. I know I made a mistake about leaving Rose.

Walking back into the house I heard Rose saying something to her Father about some type of journal. The others were. I noticed that we were getting ready to leave and that the tour was about to start.

Five hours later we arrived to New York city and checked into a hotel. Rose was in a room by herself with a guard across the hall from hers and some of the other side. Each room was connected with one another and that was a good thing. Yet at the same time I was worried about something, I wanted to know what was wrong. I walked over to Abe's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in Dimitri."

I walked into the room and saw that Abe was reading that book. He looked at me and said, "You and my daughter have a lot of things to talk about. I need to know that I can trust you with her heart. You guys need to talk things out when you two are ready. I know what happened to Rose and why she left. But I cannot tell you because things are too completed for me to explain."

I waited for him to continue talking and when he did he said, "Rose went through a lot and I don't think she wants to be a guarding anymore. I don't know why but you need to talk to her."

I left the room because I knew I wouldn't get any more information from him. I heard Jesse talking to Maya, one of the band members.

"May, let her be. She needs her rest and having someone here from her past isn't helping matters."

"Jesse, she's getting worst. Her songs are good, but the way she's been acting isn't normal. I need to know what's wrong with her."

"I'll tell you something that you cannot tell anyone else. But that guy Dimitri broke her heart and broke her. That's why she doesn't date, go to the clubs unless we're on tour, or even touch another guy. She doesn't trust her heart to anyone. I knew her for a long time. She's broken and lost. She's trying to find her way in this fucked up world. She doesn't need any more people dropping in from her past, she can't handle anything right now."

I walked away and back into my room and thought of everything that Abe told me, and what I just heard. Rose hasn't been with another man in a long time. But something told me that there is more to that story. More to the reasons why she left court and our world.