Notes: Sorry for taking forever to publish this. My writing is becoming slower and slower these days but at least I've finished this chapter before Christmas! (Merry Christmas to you all! 3) Much like the previous chapter I'm really not satisfied with this but I've just been staring at it for too long that I just need to get this out here.

Just a warning; there's cursing in a spot in this chapter and the next will possibly be quite violent. However after that events will slow down and finally, come to a close :) Thanks for following this story this far, everyone, I didn't expect there to be this many reviews!

Trepidation

Yukawa no longer cared about the fact that he was at the front of a classroom full of students; to hell with what they would think. Utsumi Kaoru's terrified face refused to leave his mind's eye and his wound had gotten worse, unsurprisingly - he felt rather ill. He sat with his forehead resting on his clasped hands, gently rocking back and forth in his chair. It did nothing for the pain; as a matter of fact it was only aggravating it with the unnecessary movement. However, Yukawa found that it helped to give himself something other than Utsumi to focus on...

That was probably why he decided to come to work today, despite Kuribayashi and Kusanagi's advice to take a break. He still wouldn't have minded some painkillers… or a bed. A lovely, soft bed.

Yukawa took a deep breath and looked up at his class. He'd assigned them some material to read for the time being, luckily. He couldn't even consider teaching anything right now. This was a third-year class; he couldn't possibly explain advanced theorems in an even remotely intelligible way with his currently detached and physically unwell state. Not that passing his students was high on his list of priorities at this moment, but he found the concept of trying to do something as insignificant as lecturing - while a psycho was still on the loose with Utsumi - to be almost repulsive.

After visiting Terauchi the night before, even Yukawa had to admit that he was not in a state to be able to do anything about Sugiyama immediately. Kusanagi too had concluded that it would be wiser to think through the options before deciding what course of action to take. What Yukawa hadn't told the detective was the time the criminal had invited him to Utsumi's apartment...

Tonight.

His wound was beginning to throb harder and harder, to the extent that breathing normally was becoming a challenge. God damn it... The last thing he wanted was to create a commotion in the middle of a lecture. He untangled his fingers and pressed his good hand there, underneath the table - as if that would somehow hold back the discomfort, even though he knew it was futile. Clearly, being so stressed was not helping with the healing process... Yukawa just wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, slam his head against the table, and knock himself unconscious – then he wouldn't have to feel or think about anything. It was such an inviting thought that he was seriously considering doing it, even if it would likely result in a concussion or some other head injury…

"Erm… Sensei?" There was a tentative voice from the students. Yukawa, with a huge effort, looked up from staring at the patterns of wood on his table and attempted to locate the owner of the voice. Was that Murase? Was he even in this class? Yukawa couldn't have said.

"Yes?" Yukawa hoped that his voice didn't sound too strained. Unfortunately, it seemed to be on the contrary, judging by the nervous murmur that rippled through the students. Great...

"I was just wondering… uh… maybe…"

"We were thinking that maybe it would be a good idea for you to visit the campus hospital, Sensei." Another girl interrupted, finishing the boy's sentence for him. Yukawa couldn't make out her face through the lovely fogginess that had decided to settle over his vision today.

"Yes… perhaps…" He blinked in an attempt to focus his desperately wandering attention. "How's the reading coming along?"

"Fine, Sensei. I think we can cope on our own for now," the same girl replied.

Yukawa felt himself nod vaguely. He didn't want to go to the nurse. It was probably the notion of trying to lie in bed with nothing to distract him from his thoughts; his very confused and frankly terrified thoughts. He would probably suffer some kind of breakdown, which wouldn't help his situation in any way… But his body was protesting so violently against this logical analysis… he simply didn't have the energy to argue with his students nor himself.

Fine, then, the nurse it was.

Yukawa regretted not standing up more slowly. His head pounded and the room lurched before his eyes. He resisted the urge to throw up all over the floor since that would really not help matters. He unconsciously rubbed his abdomen, barely noticing the thirty or so students' eyes concentrate on the movement. Somehow he regained his composure and made it to the nurse without incident. His time there was rather like a blur – he vaguely remembered mumbling a greeting and asking for a bed, which he collapsed into immediately and slept in for a couple hours, soundly, surprisingly enough. Yukawa corrected himself; it wasn't strange at all, considering the overpowering fatigue that had been weighing on his body since his discharge. When he awoke again it was four o'clock in the evening.

Yukawa went back to the lab so that he could pick up his things and leave. He proceeded to pack up his briefcase, slowly but deliberately. He needed time to calm himself. He counted up the reports he'd received from his students that he had yet to mark. Hosoda, Shibata, Nakamura… He cursed; at the moment, he was even having trouble recalling the names of all the students in his seminar. He'd never thought that his significantly powerful brain could fail him in this way. Usually information was neatly filed away inside his head – it had to be, since he had a somewhat photographic memory and was constantly absorbing data from around him. Sugiyama had been the hurricane that had ripped through it, scattering everything… everywhere.

Yukawa ended up shoving most of the papers that were on his table into his briefcase in frustration. He noted that his hands were shaking a little – he couldn't have said why. Perhaps it was due to fatigue. Or perhaps it was because he was supposed to go confront Sugiyama in less than two hours. He still couldn't forget the message that he had received at Akiko's house. It was from an unknown sender but it was obvious who it was. It had simply told Yukawa to "drop by" at "around nine o'clock" tonight. For some reason, however, he had a hunch that Sugiyama wasn't looking to harm Utsumi at all. She was simply a tool to lure in his real prey, Yukawa. Then why wasn't he just bringing Kusanagi and the police with him? What was the logic behind seeking Sugiyama out alone? It was clear that the psycho just wanted to play more games with him. Yet something… something was keeping Yukawa from letting Kusanagi know about this reasoning. He couldn't explain it through logic, so he could only conclude that his emotions were getting in his way again.

"Sensei, do you need help?"

Yukawa had almost forgotten that he wasn't alone in his lab. Kuribayashi had also stayed behind to… "clean up". Yukawa knew that Kuribayashi only wanted to make sure he wasn't getting into any more trouble. Poor Kuribayashi had no idea.

"No, I'm fine, thank you." Yukawa shook his head and shut his briefcase. "I'll be heading back now, Kuribayashi-san. Will you be all right by yourself?"

"Oh, of course. I've asked a few students to come in and help with some of the equipment, too – everything's under control." Kuribayashi answered proudly, and grinned when Yukawa nodded in approval as he left.

Yukawa walked home slowly. The evening air was chilly already, making him hug his overcoat closer to him. The cold was making his body ache; was he getting old already? Perhaps the events of the past few months had accelerated his aging process. No, maybe the fact that you've irritated the wound again has something to do with it, Yukawa thought. The doctor was less than happy when he had seen the aggravated injury and had warned him to stay away from any demanding physical activities for the time being… but Yukawa knew that he was most likely going to disobey him again very soon.

His new phone vibrated in his pocket. Yukawa hesitated before reaching for it; every time he received anything on it he assumed there was a chance it could be from Sugiyama. Involuntarily, a sigh of relief escaped him when he saw that it was Kusanagi. "Hello?"

"Hey, Yukawa. How are you doing?"

"Fine." Yukawa could detect Kusanagi's open concern even through the phone. "What is it?"

"Nothing much, really. I was just wondering if you have free time tonight; I want to treat you to dinner."

"Why, all of a sudden?" It was probably an attempt to lift Yukawa's spirits and check on him. He had to admit that he would have seemed quite outwardly depressed for the past day and a half since Utsumi was kidnapped. He'd barely eaten nor spoken at school, save for the lecture he had given that morning. His seminar students were concerned, as well, but they didn't know what had happened…

"Oh, no particular reason."

"Sorry but I have… other plans tonight." Yukawa felt his fist tighten of its own accord as he said this. He didn't like lying, especially to Kusanagi, who trusted him, often so unconditionally.

… Well, technically, he wasn't actually lying…

But he wasn't about to tell him that he was planning to beat Sugiyama to a pulp and bring Utsumi back. He wondered how Kusanagi would react if he found out, and decided not to think about it. Yukawa wasn't willing to do it any other way, however. He needed to see Sugiyama alone and find out his motives were, once and for all.

"Oh… that's too bad, then. Maybe some other time?" There was something peculiar in Kusanagi's voice but Yukawa couldn't quite place it.

"Of course."

"… Yukawa." There was a second of hesitation from Kusanagi's side. Yukawa wouldn't be surprised if Kusanagi, being the detective he was, was already nursing suspicions about Yukawa's so-called "plans" for the night. It didn't matter. He hadn't told his friend what time he was expected by Sugiyama, or what day, for the matter. This was his mission and his alone.

"Mhm?"

"I've heard about you from… well… that doesn't matter." Yukawa heard Kusanagi take a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that everyone can tell that something's wrong with you. Yukawa. Please. Let us deal with Sugiyama, I promise you that we'll get Utsumi back. I promise we'll get that scumbag's ass in prison. You don't need to destroy yourself over this; it's exactly what he wants! Leave the case to us. You need a rest."

Yukawa was mildly surprised at Kusanagi's almost pleading tone. It wasn't enough to sway him from what he had already decided to do, however. "I'm sorry. I can't do that."

"Goddamn it. Can't you fucking listen to me for once?" Well. That was some uncharacteristic profanity. "This won't gain you anything."

"You know very well how stubborn I can get, Kusanagi."

Kusanagi made a frustrated noise from the other end. Yukawa pressed his lips together. "Yukawa, you're being stupid. You're being illogical."

There was a ringing silence. At last, Yukawa replied, "I know."

"This isn't like you at all."

"I know."

"Please don't, Yukawa. Whatever you're going to do, please don't. You're going to get yourself killed."

"And what about Utsumi, then?"

"I told you, we'll find her!"

"No… Sugiyama won't give her up, not unless I go myself."

"And how the hell would you know this?"

"… Intuition." Yukawa hung up.

When Yukawa got home he set down his briefcase and sat on the couch. He felt strangely calm for someone who was going to meet a psychopathic criminal that had almost killed him in just a few hours. It could have been his recent experiences that had immunized him to Sugiyama's twisted schemes. Or maybe he was just tired. He'd had enough of all this…

It was then his cell phone rang again. Yukawa looked at the caller ID, and froze. Utsumi? Why…?

He picked it up.

"Hello there, Yukawa." Yukawa immediately recognized the silky voice. Hatred was boiling up inside him dangerously; he forced himself to stay calm.

"Sugiyama." He let his voice betray no emotion at all. As if this was just another physics lecture.

"You don't sound like yourself today. Has something happened? Oh, is it your lady friend?"

"We can end this in a more civilized manner if you just hand her back now."

"Nah, that wouldn't be as interesting – and it would probably alter our results. Let's go along with my plan, shall we? You know exactly what you're supposed to do, don't you?" Yukawa didn't reply. Sugiyama continued lightly, "Would you like to chat with her?"

"What?"

"No, really. I'll put her on the line." There was some background noise, and suddenly a shrieking sound that made Yukawa wince, despite himself. It was then he recognized it as Utsumi's voice.

"Utsumi?" Yukawa said huskily into the phone and waited; no reply. He tried again. "Utsumi?"

"Sensei?" It was definitely her. She sounded like she always did, much to Yukawa's intense relief… "Sensei! Please don't come here – please don't – "

Yukawa surprised himself with what he said next. "Utsumi, are you all right?"

This wouldn't help him gain any more much-needed information about their current situation. He could easily predict how Utsumi would answer him. The conclusion was that it wouldn't be of any benefit to him. Yet Yukawa found himself asking her this, with more sincerity than he'd ever had.

"Don't worry about me, Sensei – he'll kill you – "

"Shhh, hush now. We don't want to give too much away." Yukawa heard Sugiyama's voice cutting her off, and then Utsumi, screaming something. Yukawa called out her name into the receiver. He could almost feel the bastard grinning at him again. "I'll see you soon, Yukawa. Look forward to it." The line went dead.

Yukawa slowly set down the phone and breathed deeply. His heart was beating so quickly. He'd never believed that the heart was where emotions were felt; it was simply a powerful mass of muscle that pumped blood. But at this particular moment, the awful constricting sensation in his chest made him think otherwise. Was he wrong about Sugiyama? What if he actually did mean to hurt Utsumi? Should he call Kusanagi…? No. He shook his head. Fear and anger were clouding his judgment. He had to focus.

Yukawa very well knew that it wasn't going to work.

After trying to sit still for a few minutes, Yukawa decided that he couldn't bear it for any longer. He paced around the room furiously until his throbbing abdomen forced him to sit down again. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, wondering how Utsumi was faring. Did Sugiyama hurt her? What could the bastard have done to her? Yukawa shivered a little and shut his eyes for a moment. Okay. Calm. You really can't go on like this.

He had to take action, now.


When Kusanagi called Yukawa again an hour later, thinking that perhaps the scientist had regained his calm, he got no response. Absolutely none at all. A sense of foreboding creeping into his heart, Kusanagi told Yuge that he had business to take care of and left the police station. He was too late, too late… He should have gone to find Yukawa after their first conversation today... Kusanagi drove to Yukawa's apartment, again ignoring the speed limits – when he got there he rang the intercom. The security guard inside, seeing Kusanagi's obvious distress, let him in, and asked,

"Are you looking for someone, sir?"

"Yes, did Yukawa Manabu leave this building earlier?"

"Yukawa-san? As a matter of fact, yes. I'd say I saw him… perhaps an hour and a half ago? He looked like he was in quite a hurry, which struck me as odd – that man never seems to rush. He didn't tell me where he was off to, though – sir?" Before the man finished talking Kusanagi had already flung himself outside and into his car.

An hour and a half ago. A lot could have happened between then and now. Where could Yukawa have gone? Where Utsumi – or Sugiyama was, of course. Utsumi's apartment. Kusanagi wet his lips, his sweaty palms gripping the steering wheel. Oh, Yukawa, you can be such an idiot sometimes. What the hell do you think you're doing? We're not going to lose you. We're not going to let Sugiyama do as he pleases with you… not this time.