Pairing: Sirius/Hermione

Sirius practically skipped into the room. "Hello, my love. If you're ready, I'm ready to bathe you with my affections."

Hermione felt her eye twitch. She was not amused. "Sirius Black, you are in trouble," she growled.

Sirius blinked. "What did I do to offend you, my reason for breathing, my love, my soulmate?"

"Stop with the soulmate crap. Remus fire-called me."

Sirius' shoulders slumped. "Oh."

"Oh? Oh? Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

"What else can I say? Other than it was an accident."

Hermione shook her head. "How do you accidentally put your nose—where it doesn't belong mind you—into Remus' business and get him into a fight with Tonks?"

"I was trying to help," Sirius plaintively argued.

"Well, your help caused such a bad fight between them that Tonks went to spend the night at her mother's house. Congratulations on a job well done! "

"My heart was in the right place," he tried.

"You're an impossible man."

Sirius waited.

"You're impossible because you did something you shouldn't have, but you were honestly trying to help."

Sirius began to grin.

"No smiling yet. You are going to go to Andromeda's house and try to get Tonks to talk to her husband. And then you're going to promise Remus to never get involved in his marriage again."

"Will I get a kiss then?"

"Only after everything between them is resolved."

xXx

(word count: 236)

Written for:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry: Roald Dahl Day Event
Word Prompt: Impossible. Ticket Prompts - Skip, Bathe