I don't think you understandin'
It's black and white just like the color of pandas
You think that's you smarter than me and I doubt it
You raising your hand and then I'm gon' shout it
You student, I'm teacher
Now please take a seat
Cuz you think that your hot, but really in the bleachers
Keeping up with me
You probably get tired
Cause I go from Disney to fuck it, Miley Cyrus, uh!

Yall versus me, you would all lose
Crazy like them white Boyz, suh dude
I don't see a man I see a kid, blues coy
He don't got the stuff to get up in go-go gas it
Everybody asking you what happened
Tell em that the boy AG is a savage
For no heart like a new IG babe
Blastin, exposing yell like need on catfish

I got broads in Atlanta
Twisting dope, lean, and the fantastic
Credit cards and the scammed a
Hitting off licks in the bando
Black x6, phantom, white x6 look like a panda
I'm going out like I'm Montana
Living weirdo is a hammer

*******
It's 6:30 in the morning when they get off the plane. Alec had a few interviews this morning, and couldn't miss them. So here he was standing in the airport restroom washing his face and brushing his teeth to try and look somewhat presentable. He put lotion on his face and hands, then changed his clothes into something more comfortable.

He put on a blue shirt, blue jeans, and a blue snapback. That's the best he could do with so little time. He was going to have a talk with Cat about this. He felt dirty, washing up in the facilities with his bandmates, aside from Helen. Honestly Catarina! She couldn't book them a hotel room so they could freshen up properly?

Sighing he laced up his combat boots, put on his jacket and made his way out the bathroom towards the waiting women. "All good then?" Cat asked.

He groaned and nodded, not wanting them to see him getting beat by his manager for picking a fight. But for some reason, he didn't care. "You could've booked a hotel so we could freshen up instead of using the public restroom Catarina!"

She glared at him. "Didn't out shower before we left LA? You shouldn't stink that much, honestly what is with guys you all act like women more then we do. Such a shame." She slaps his shoulder. "Now get your ass in the car so we can go. We have a schedule uphold. Also, the label released your new single 'Can I be him' while we were on the plane, and it went to number one in 51 countries, including the US. So they might interview you about it."

Alec blinks for a few minutes, then frowns. He thought he got to choose his singles, not the label. He loved the song, don't get him wrong, but they should've confirmed it with him first. Catarina must have caught his inner turmoil because her face softened and pulled him into a hug. Alec hugged her back tightly, laying his head on hers.

"I know what you're feeling, believe me when I say I snapped when I found out while you were in the bathroom. They had no right to do that not one bit, they apologized for thinking ahead when you weren't ready to release this particular song. They wanted you to put out a love song since your album is about the darkness you were going through. Try not to let this get to you okay? I know you can do this Alec, you're stronger than you know. Plus, you get to perform it live on X factor this weekend, and then you can attend the MTV awards with Magnus in Canada. So things are looking up."

Alec sighs knowing Catarina is right. But he's still pissed with his label at the moment, and they will hear what he has to say about it. But for now he'll let it slide and think about the interview, and the questions they are going to asks. He finally gets into the car, and the rest of his band joins him. Onwards to the radio station.

******
Interviewer: "We're here with the one and only Alec Lightwood!"

Alec: Thanks for having me, how you doing?

Interviewer: I'm good, thank you, but I know you must be exhausted right? You've just come off an 8-hour flight, how are you even up right now?

Alec: You know what, I don't know really, but I'm going to tough it out today, then sleep when I go home.

Interviewer: Oh that's right you've moved into a house with your boyfriend none other than the legendary pop star Magnus Bane. How is that working out?

Alec: It's going great, I wish I was going home to him tonight but he's currently on tour in America at the moment, so ima be in an empty house all alone.

Interviewer: Awwww, that's so cute. I have to say that I am one hundred percent a Malec shipper. You guys are absolutely adorable together.

Alec: *groans* Don't say that, now ill never hear the end of it. *chuckles* But thank you so much.

Interviewer: *coos* So how long have you two been together, sorry if I'm being nosy, but I'm not the only person that wants to know.

Alec: *chuckles, and rolls eyes* Its fine, I love talking about my boyfriend, who I cant see at the moment...*fake glares* Way to make me feel even lonelier.

Interviewer: Sorryyyyy

Alec: Its fine, and if I'm honest, we've always been together. But we were too stupid to confront one another about our true feelings until some years ago.

Interviewer: Basically inseparable.

Alec: Yeah Exactly.

Interviewer: Well I hope you two never break up, it will break a lot of hearts if they were to happen.

Alec: That's never going to happen, nothing can ever break us apart.

Interviewer: Oh, before I forget, I love the youtube video that you posted yesterday. Is there any way I can download the cover online?

Alec: *chuckles* Yeah, I'm actually working on that with my team when it's available I will announce it to the world.

Interviewer: Can I ask who the song is about?

Alec: *shrugs* I'm sure everyone knows who it's about. But for those of you- who don't I will inform you. The remix I did of Panda is about my ex-band members. I don't know if any of you follow them on social media, but they have been bashing me left and right for no particular reason. I haven't said or done anything to them even when I was in the band. I always kept to myself because I didn't trust them.

Interviewer: Now that you are a successful solo artist they are upset that you're making money and they aren't?

Alec: Right, but what they seem to forget is that the band was initially mine. If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't have the fame and success they had for the past 3 years. But they seemed to forget that. I was the face of the band, my fanbase alone on youtube made the band bigger than it should've been. When Valentine found out I was gay, that's when things started going downhill, he bullied me into the background, and let the other four shine. They knew exactly what was going on, but never said a word, or stuck up for me. And now that I'm telling the world my side of the story, they want to slenderize my name. But when the documentary comes out, everyone will see their true colors. But when I tried to tweet them, I was blocked from their pages.

interviewer: So they talk crap, but when you want to address it, they block you?

Alec: Yeah exactly. They hide behind their phones, and social media accounts but never have they once said any of this stuff to my face. But I just got fed up with their BS and made a video to let out my frustrations.

Interviewer: Right, and the drummer is your brother Jace correct?

Alec: Yeah, we've been wanting to collab for a long time, but with the whole label ordeal, it wasn't possible so he was happy to work with me. And he smashed it.

Interviewer: Well he did an amazing job. Isn't he Magnus' drummer?

Alec: Yes, and I couldn't be prouder.

Interviewer: So your new single dropped last night. Tell us what does the song mean the song means to you, I mean Idk what does the song mean to you? It's one of my favorites songs by you.

Alec: Um, I mentioned before you know when I was writing this album it was really self-indulgent it's like a quite autobiographical, um. I was writing a lot of songs about redemption and trying to get over the crappie I was going through and my AR and my label were like come here can we have a couple of love songs you wrote that we want on the album, can I be him. Those two, we like the songs, and funnily enough they don't really represent the album that much but there the two that obviously had the most universal most relatable. Kind of him... um, the concept was like I'd imagine that this person singing and he being madly in love with them and you know when you're in love with someone and everything they do is absolutely amazing, even if they can't sing. Whether it's like I wish you were singing that song for me even though it was terrible. Unrequited love is something I think everyone's felt.

Interviewer: Which is the crappiest feeling in the world.

Alec: It's the worst feeling, and sometimes you don't tell that person ever because you don't feel good enough for them so that's kind of like what I wanted to paint that picture as much as I can because it's something that I think everyone goes through. I fancy people at school, I just never talk cause I'm nowhere in there, and I reckon a lot of people feel like that so.

Interviewer: OMG so you're like I was literally obsessed with somebody for like a year

Alec: Yeah, yeah, yeah

Interviewer: And it's like okay, It'll just go away, just go away and eventually it did because you just suppressed the feelings down so much

Alec: Yeah yeah, so that was it. But after a while, I could suppress the feelings anymore and eventually told that person and now we are together, and I couldn't be happier.

Interviewer: Awesome! I love the song, I think it's just as good as 'Tenerife sea' I'm happy that you decided to release it because that's one I definitely want to hear over and over again.

Alec: Yeah, it's a bit of a fan favorite at the moment, so yeah.

Interviewer: Yeah, it's a good one. So you mentioned you were filming a documentary?

Alec: Yeah...

Interviewer: That's cool. It's cool, I feel a bit embarrassed about it actually.

Alec: Why?!

Interviewer: Because I think when people think 'oh you're making a documentary about your life' they think 'oh, he's crying about his life and the things he went through.'

Alec: Oh like, here's what I've done.

Interviewer: Yeah, or like here's my story.

Alec: Right, which by the way can you not downplay your story. Forget what everyone else says about it.

Alec: My story, Is kind of wild, but also amazing, you know. I was given the option to write a book or make or a documentary that also acted as a bit of a self-help movie as well. I wouldn't have done just my story yet because I feel like it's so much more to go. Like I said before I'm a high ambassador for the mental health, and it's something that I care a lot about it want my story of...it's called back to the boy. The boy represents the vulnerability and the mental illness that I've suffered with throughout the past five years of my life and it's intertwined with my journey through being the kids of billionaire parents, having to raise my brothers and sisters alone while my parents traveled the world. Living abroad a couple of years and having different lives and just going through so many difficult things. Getting signed at 16, getting told not to be openly gay. Being forced into a relationship with women knowing that I wasn't attracted to them. Being bullied by everyone in the band emotionally, and physically. Having anxiety, not wanting people to touch me, panic attacks, insomnia. Going through PTSD, pushing my loved ones away and shutting down, nearly dying, being hospitalized. Losing my record deal, getting picked up the same day. Etcetera. And now being successful as a solo artist here in America as well as in the UK which is what I've always wanted. But all the while still having to panic attacks, that just been there crippling and I want anyone who's going through that... I want to show them that if I can do then so could they. That ultimately the message. If I can get up, talk about myself all day which is really hard to do. Then you know, you could get up and do things as well.

Interviewer: I think what you're doing is so awesome because I think everyone in this room including myself probably has panic attacks all the time but it's something that you know again I love that's today it's more than ever okay to talk about it. Like anxiety such a huge thing.

Alec: Yeah I feel like we're getting into this age where we're talking about it.

Interviewer: Yeah so I really appreciate that you are joined that movement of saying hey this is what I go through and here how I can help you. I think that so incredible, very admirable.

Alec: Thank you.

Interviewer: Um, now it's nice talking to you, but we've been told you were going to cover a song for us today in the live lounge?

Alec: Yeah. I'm going to cover 'it hurts' by my sister Isabelle Lightwood. She recorded just for fun, but she didn't think anyone would like it. But I'm in love with the song, I really connected with it on a deeply/emotional level than most people not only because she's my sister and I knew the situation she written they song about, but also going through the same as her. I'm really proud of her. She has an amazing voice, and I wish she would sing more, but she's shy. So hopefully after today, she'll think about pursuing a career in music along with modeling. Only one could hope.

Interviewer: Well, we are cutting to a commercial break, and when we return Alec Lightwood is blessing us with a cover of 'It hurts' by his sister Isabelle Lightwood. Thank you for tuning into Institute z100 we'll be right back after these messages.

Catarina pulls him into a hug and whispered she was proud of him for talking about what he was going through, something like that is very personal, but he handled it professionally.

Alec shoots her a small smile, then walks into the lounge with Helen his guitarist and Cody his pianist. Cat hands him a tablet with the lyrics to Izzy's song, then he puts on the headphones so he can hear the instruments clearly. The interviewer introduced him once again, then they began playing.

Mmmmm, Mmmmm, ohhh

Baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts
Loving you the way I do, it hurts

Hold tight, it's a sing-along
I'm alright, I'm alright, but I could be wrong, baby
I know you remember me
5"3 in the back of the library, come on
You could at least try and look at me
Oh man, oh man, what a tragedy, ha-ha
Bang, bang, there goes paradise
Ah shit, why we always have to roll the dice, la-la
Heartbeat on the regular
Two seats in the back of the cinema, hazy
Ah yeah, you're forgetting it
And all the mad shit we did after that, crazy
Your heart, come on, baby
I swear you're giving me shivers, shivers

Baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts
Loving you the way I do, it hurts
When all that's left to do is watch it burn
Oh, baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts

Hold on, it's a marathon
Run fast, run fast like the rivers run, goddamn
Never seen in the restaurant
I took a minute 'till the penny dropped, you know
My tears don't fall too often
But your knife is cutting me deep
Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep

Baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts
Loving you the way I do, it hurts
When all that's left to do is watch it burn
Oh, baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts

It hurts the way that you pretend you don't remember
It hurts the way that you forget our times together
Like the time laid in bed when you said it's forever, baby
I can't, I can't explain no more

Baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts
Loving you the way I do, it hurts
When all that's left to do is watch it burn
Oh, baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts

Oh, baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts
Loving you the way I do, it hurts

Cheers and whoops could be heard in the studio. Alec thanked them again, they cut to a commercial break, and it was time to leave. Alec hoped he made Izzy proud covering her song. He would have to found out tomorrow, but right now, all wanted to do was sleep do get something to eat before he went to the next interview...