Author's Notes: I know more than half of summer will already gone when I post this, and I'm sorry for that. I just didn't know how to proceed on the following chapter. I'm really intimidated by Summer Chapter 3. It's just too good. I felt this way about Spring Chapter 2. But I didn't feel that way for the last chapter in the Spring saga. So I wonder why.
But anyway, I will fight to bring you guys a good chapter!
This chapter was originally planned to be Summer Chapter 2. So that's why the ocean plays a prominent role int he beginning. But I changed the chapter order to tweak the storyline. So the order it is in on this site is the correct order.
Four Seasons: Summer – Chapter 4
His high sense of smell picked up the scent of sea water. So they were near the ocean, at least one thing had turned out right so far. They were going the right way.
After all this time he had managed to pick out Inuyasha's trail once again. Inuyasha—just thinking about him made Sesshoumaru want to simultaneously turn back and charge ahead in defense of his damaged pride. He hadn't wanted to come this way. There were too many bad memories associated with his half-brother's scent. And now this recent defeat was one of them.
Was he happy the way he was now? Should he continue his quest? No, the real question was should he continue his relationship with Kikyou—even if the consequences would be the death of not only him but everything else that he held dear, or at least he thought he held his kingdom dear. But looking at Rin and Kikyou, his kingdom seemed small in comparison yet the people he had left behind, his clan, and his obligations to them weren't some trifle to be set aside. The time would come when Sesshoumaru would have to make a choice. His status as a demon, Lord of the West, and his love for Kikyou were at odds with each other.
But at least today he didn't have to decide upon anything. Not now.
Or could he? Could he really just walk away from it all. When he had first held Kikyou in his arms, after his disastrous battle with Inuyasha and Kikyou's grave injuries were healed, it had seemed like everything was finally falling into place. They could just walk away from everything, Kikyou, Rin, and Sesshoumaru. Then maybe it would all be over: His quest, his life as a king, everything. Every time Sesshoumaru thought about his quest being a sense of unease would wash over him. Even though he finally had Kikyou's love there was something missing.
'What is it?' Sesshoumaru asked himself. For once his mind gave him no answer.
A hand passed over his eyes, blocking out the trail, the sunlight, and the heat of the day with it's comforting coldness.
With a grimace of annoyance, Sesshoumaru brushed Kikyou's hand away.
"Good, I thought we almost lost you." Kikyou stood by his side, a coy look in her eyes and a tiny smile gracing her lips. It was obvious that she was enjoying his current state of mind.
"I liked you better when you were emotionless and took pleasure out of nothing."
"I know, you say that everyday," Kikyou replied. "And I liked you better when you didn't space out so much."
As usual, the two of them were locked in a battle of wits. Sesshoumaru choose to leave it at a tie and looked back to see Rin run up, come between them, and latch on to his arm. In her hands she held fistfuls of summer flowers.
"Look, Sesshoumaru-sama! Look what Rin picked!"
Kikyou smiled down at the little girl, taking one of her hands into her own. "Don't you mean, "look what I picked"?"
Rin blushed with happiness, not embarrassment. "That's what Ri-I-meant."
As the days wore on, it seemed like the three of them were becoming closer somehow. And Jaken would have none of it.
As Rin showed Sesshoumaru the flowers, Jaken jumped up and down while voicing his opinion. "You little urchin! Can't you see Sesshoumaru-sama has better things to think about then your stupid girlish whims?"
Rin made a face at the toad and Kikyou was tempted to slap the thing from the look on her face; but it was Rin's battle, neither Kikyou or Sesshoumaru could interfere.
"I'm not a "urchin"!," Rin pronounced the words slowly, hands on her hips. "And Sesshoumaru-sama likes my flowers. You're jealous."
"Wha-what did you say!"
"You're jealous. Jaken's jealous!"
Sesshoumaru had stopped to view this little battle between a human and demon. Jaken seemed to be at a loss for words and Rin seemed satisfied in her victory over him. Finally Jaken reached out his cane to smack her with it and this time Kikyou stepped in. She easily managed to take the weapon away from him, glaring at Jaken. After the toad backed down, Kikyou smiled at Rin. And surprisingly, at Jaken as well.
"We are being a burden on Sesshoumaru acting this way. The both of you should try to get along better. Jaken-"
Jaken glared at her and said nothing.
Kikyou continued: "You are still Sesshoumaru's number one servant. Rin, you shouldn't let Jaken's words get to you. Now let's continue. We don't have too far to walk."
To Sesshoumaru's astonishment, Kikyou's way of handling the situation impressed him. Her experience with children made it quite easy for her to settle any quarrel amongst them and people (or demons) that acted like children.
"Kikyou, Rin, Jaken-hurry up." Sesshoumaru turned around and continued walking. This was another reason why he kept Kikyou around. He didn't need her help when it came to Inuyasha, in fact he refused it. Their separate goals were such that it was impossible to make a compromise. And to accept help would be dishonorable. But her advice and her help with raising Rin was valuable. Rin needed a mother. Some woman that she could look up to and learn from. There were certain things that he would never understand about Rin because he was both a man and a demon.
This time the person that latched on to his arm was Kikyou. The scent that drifted up to his nose was Rin's flowers and the earthly smell of her body. Sesshoumaru glanced at her. Rin had quickly intertwined flowers into her hair. Kikyou herself had undone her usual pony tail and pinned the locks of her hair up into a clumsy bun.
She chatted to him about various things to keep his mind off his troubles. Oblivious to either Jaken, who was still jealous, or Rin, who had dropped several feet behind them from the sound of her laughter.
Kikyou's arms were wrapped around his arm, pressing his arm into her bosom unconsciously as she gazed off into the distance in front of them. The intoxicating scent coming from her and the press of her body against his stopped him from pushing her away. Despite the scent of death underlying it, her smell was something that he had grown fond of. Death had always been around him, only now it had a form. Sesshoumaru looked off into the distance as well and tried to focus on Kikyou's words.
Their conversation had turned toward Inuyasha. They had both tried to ignore what had happened, both between them and the battle, but eventually they would have to face the truth.
Inuyasha wasn't going to disappear because they were a couple. Naraku either.
"If we continue this way we should reach the "city by the sea" soon, as our guide called it. It's more of a small town from what I managed to get from a villager back at the inn we stayed at. But it is one of the major port towns. They have a few ships capable of fighting on the sea and a sizable militia that is pretty tough as well despite it's small size. So if we must fight it would be better to fight some ways away from the town. When we meet Inuyasha, I'll drag him and his companions several acres away. Then I'll take care of his friends, while you focus on yoru fight."
"What about Rin and Jaken?" He questioned her, though he already knew what she was going to say. The question was more to keep himself focused than anything. It seemed her being around him like this made the heat much more unbearable than before.
"They will stay in the city, as before. Rather we will come back as the victors or not, we shall meet up with them again once this is over," Kikyou said. And then she noticed the perculiar expression on Sesshoumaru's face and changed the subject. "Sesshoumaru? Are you alright? Are you-"
"I'm fine! What do you mean if "we are the victors or not?" "
Kikyou stared at him, a frown forming on her lips, and finally she separated herself from him. "Well you can't call what we have a winning streak."
Her irritating words, which were the truth, made Sesshoumaru want to slap her. But Kikyou just calmly stood there, not flinching or afraid of the consequences of her words or actions. Sesshoumaru lowered his hand. What more could he do to her that hadn't already been done to her? Kikyou was still recovering from the wound she had received trying to come to Sesshoumaru's aid during his fight with Inuyasha.
Plus, she was right. The truth was here in front of him. Kikyou's weakened state and the shreaded remains of his former outfit. Kikyou was currently wearing the maroon and black clothes Sesshoumaru had taken with him after his wedding at the castle. Her clothes were damaged and stained beyond repair by his blood. And Sesshoumaru himself was still regaining his strength.
And of course, the ultimate truth, the kiss that stood between them. The sensation of which had stilled his hand. What he had been about to do was slap the woman who days before he had declared his love for. If he hit her, their budding relationship would be over and it would destroy not only his relationship with her but with Rin. An argument, and his wounded pride, wasn't worth it. Nor was taking out his frustrations on her, which would be a cowardly thing to do.
"I'll ignore that woman."
"I'm not a woman, not any longer."
Sesshoumaru smirked. This wasn't the right time or weather to be having a fight in. Yet he wasn't about to let her win either.
"Then would that make you a man?"
For once Kikyou's complexion blushed to a light crimson. "You know what I mean!"
Leaning down to have their faces level with each other, Sesshoumaru whispered mockingly. "No, I don't."
Kikyou's blushed with anger. "Don't tempt me! I'm not in the mood for a useless argument with you. Especially not here."
Not with an audience is what she meant. With Rin around, it was hard for the both of them to voice their opinions. Especially if it had to deal with the current state of Kikyou being undead.
"Fine." With those stoic words Sesshoumaru returned to his full height and placed his hand on Kikyou's head, undoing the messy bun that she had made. The flowers Rin picked fell from her hair, scattering and drifting away in a sudden sea breeze.
For reasons unknown, or not admitted to, Sesshoumaru secretly kept one flower. Then he continued walking as Kikyou fumed behind him over his actions of treating her like a child and acting like one.
But the hidden tone of warmth in her words spoke otherwise. This was probably the first time she had been treated kindly, even if Sesshoumaru had treated her like a child. Probably not even in her childhood had she been treated as such. Which made the moment all the more enduring.
And the more precious because it quelled the storm that had been brewing between them.
"Wow! The ocean is so... Huge!"
Rin danced around as she said these words, pausing to catch her breath. At the site of the ocean she had ran ahead to view it. This was the first time that she had seen it. The other time they had been near an ocean front town she had been asleep when they had arrived and too mad at Sesshoumaru getting married and Lady Mitsu, Sesshoumaru's new wife, to leave the hotel.
Even in descriptions or paintings the ocean always seemed to be endless. And so it seemed now. But mere descriptions could not possibly catch the both unpleasant and pleasant smell of sea water and the life inside it. The calm deep blue of it's depths and the white waves crashing upon the beach and the sound of the seawater as waves splashed against the shore. The ocean was calm, and not a cloud was in sight.
Sesshoumaru stood a few yards back, looking across the land to where Rin danced around in the very shallow water amongst the waves that crashed against the shore. He wasn't afraid of Rin drowning, she could swim, but even taking his eyes away for a second could cause something to happen that he might regret for the rest of his life. Sesshoumaru was quickly learning, thanks to Rin's numerous brushes with danger, that taking care of children was a full time job.
"It is huge," Kikyou softly said, awe in her voice as she stared at the water and the sea gulls circling above them. Like Sesshoumaru, her eyes were also on the water. Sitting by his feet with her knees curled up to her chest and her arms around her legs, Kikyou seemed much more human then she would like to believe.
"This is your first time seeing it."
Kikyou nodded to his statement. Used to his way of speaking not questions but sentences that seemed to always be correct.
"No, this is my second time. My first time I saw it with you."
In the blazing fire of the sunset they had stood here together with Rin on his back and Jaken by their side. Yet they had each felt alone and small in the scheme of things. And each of them had held on to their private thoughts, Sesshoumaru of his marriage and the possibility of children and Kikyou with her own, mysterious, concerns. Yet while watching the ocean, then and now, they could clear their minds. Even without them life would move on. The ocean humbles all creatures.
"Do you want to go in it?"
Surprised at the first real question of the day, she briefly looked up at Sesshoumaru. Her eyes telling him of the common hesitation of going into something that much alive and that big.
"You won't dissolve, if that's what you're afraid of."
Kikyou looked back up at him, her eyes holding a sudden fiery light in them. "I'm not afraid of dissolving. I know that is impossible." She looked back at Rin. "I was just wondering if I would wake up, that's all. Wake up from this dream that started a season ago."
"I'm so glad you saved me..." Kikyou had clung to him like her life depended on it, and maybe it did. With Kikyou, Sesshoumaru sometimes felt like he could see how fragile and uncertain she was of everything. As if her life could be snatched away in a moment. Sesshoumaru wondered if all humans lived with this fear, or just people like Kikyou who, while given a second chance at life, would never know true peace.
Sesshoumaru said nothing. What could he offer her in terms of hope when he himself was unsure whether this was a dream or not.
Kikyou stood up, brushing the sand off of her clothing. Walking toward Rin, Kikyou looked back at him over her shoulder with a small smile on her features. "I guess I'll just have to see then. Whether this dream will end or not."
They would all have to see if dreams could become reality. Or if they were just that: a dream.
Rin looked happily up at Kikyou. Kikyou returned Rin's smile just as brightly. Now he was watching the two of them dance around, holding hands and splashing each other with water before chasing each other.
Sesshoumaru turned away from the sight of Kikyou and Rin playing together to look toward the direction they would soon be traveling in. While Kikyou watched Rin, and Jaken tried to fend off the advances of a crab, Sesshoumaru scouted the horizon. Little could be seen of the town they would soon come upon, yet the presence of their common enemy could still be felt. Faded as it was with time, there was no way it couldn't be Inuyasha's aura.
Without bothering to call either Kikyou or Rin back to land, Sesshoumaru walked off in the direction of town. Jaken seeing him leaving called to the both of them rudely.
Ignoring the argument in progress, Sesshoumaru looked up at the sky briefly. It seemed a storm was on the horizon after all
"Once again we have a room together. Isn't that strange?"
Kikyou said while pouring Sesshoumaru a cup of tea. It seemed to be more her doing that they ended up together than by the number of rooms or the owner of the inn. No matter whether or not they paid them, the humans always gave Sesshoumaru and his group the very best rooms where they went. Throughout their walk through town there had been plenty of people gossiping about them as well as cowering in fear or hatred.
Though the one comment Sesshoumaru had heard and couldn't ignore was this: That Kikyou and Sesshoumaru were a couple. The exact words weren't as flattering as the words "couple," but the people in this town basically thought Rin was their child and they were a traveling group of demons come to wreck havoc.
"Do we really look that much like a couple."
Kikyou smiled sadly. "What's with all the questions today? This isn't like you."
"What's with all the smiles? There is nothing to be happy about." Sesshoumaru briefly replied. His interest was taken up by the scene outside. An awkward couple that was going through the stages of newlyweds. In their own happiness they were completely oblivious to the fact that they were sharing their lodging with a demon a few doors down. Or the husband was taking advantage of it to "comfort" his new wife. It was the typical mushy stuff that anyone could find during spring or summer.
Sesshoumaru found them annoying, but reminded himself that murdering them would be a waste of time. The life they had pledged themselves too would be worse than death. Happiness at first then reality settling in with the weight of being together forever.
It had never been Sesshoumaru's habit to be noisy, but something about the couple made him wonder if Inuyasha and Kikyou were ever that way.
The answer was: Of course not. They were never married. Too little information and too little time stood between them.
But were him and Kikyou like that? Were they a "couple?"
Kikyou passed a hand over his eyes, like she had earlier on the trail by the beach. Her face was concerned, yet emotions that she couldn't show, through habit or from design, always made her expressions just a little awkward. Out of place like the feelings in his heart.
Except her tears. Those were 100% accurate, Sesshoumaru thought as Kikyou's concern for him reminded him of the night they had shared after his defeat. Of her worries, and her fears.
"Hey, it's not like you to stare off into space. Do you need to talk about something?" Kikyou asked. He wasn't the only one stuck in an awkward situation and worrying about the future. Though worrying about someone else was foreign to him, Sesshoumaru appreciated her concern-
"I'm not Rin," Sesshoumaru said.
But he couldn't properly express his appreciation or tell her what was on his mind.
"I'm not saying you're Rin," Kikyou looked toward the tea cups on the table. The steam rising from their cups superficial in this summer time heat even though it was said to take one's mind off the temperature by digesting something hot. Yet not even the a cup of hot tea could cool them down. "I'm just saying that I'm here."
Silence. There was nothing he could say to counter her words.
Kikyou sighed. A rare moment. He could count on his remaining hand exactly how many times he had heard her sigh. "I don't really know what I'm trying to say. But it feels like I'm getting farther away from you sometimes."
"We were never close to begin with." Sesshoumaru stood up, looking down at Kikyou. Her face seemed filled with worry for him now, but later with Inuyasha it would change. "I don't need you to be there for me. I just need you to be near me."
Kikyou's face clouded momentarily from his strange words. The tone used was probably odd to her. It was odd to himself as well, a slight strange note of envy was there. For once Sesshoumaru was envious of Inuyasha for something other than the Tetsusaiga.
"I am here besides you," Kikyou said. The words were barely spoken and were hard to pick up even with his sense of hearing as Sesshoumaru left the room. It seemed even Kikyou had given up on him for the night.
'And I am here besides you. I just don't know if this is where I should be,' Sesshoumaru thought. He briefly wondered what was bothering him more: The thought that him and Kikyou are together, the thought of facing Inuyasha, or if he was just looking for excuses to end their relationship before it even began for some reason.
Sesshoumaru punched the wall besides their door, leaning his head against the damaged wood and ignoring the broken bits that cut into his flesh or the mess he had made. What the hell was he doing to her? One minute he's serious in his feelings of love, and the next he's throwing her away. Did he want Kikyou to leave him?
Would she leave him?
'She would be better off with him.'
Inuyasha had never gotten trapped in the schemes and pride of the nobility. He had made sure of that when he had made him and outcast all those years ago.
Walking down the hallways of a busy inn thoughts seem to become disoriented in the crowd of many people that are not the same as you. This was how it felt to Sesshoumaru. The feeling of being alone, not only in person but in self. His feelings were only possible because she was here. Of course these feelings were familiar, it wasn't the first time that such a thought had popped up whenever he was near. It was always possible that despite her words Kikyou would leave him. And then he would end up fighting Kikyou. What a complicated situation.
'Am I hesitating? Am I not sure of myself. Why? Why again... Why again am I hesitating, doubting myself? Her?'
Sesshoumaru stopped and looked down into the palm of his one remaining hand. Somewhere in this place there were people that he had grown to care about. But by growing to care about them he had left something behind. And by leaving something behind a seed of doubt had been planted.
'So this is "love". This is what it's like to be more worried about others and lose yourself in an illusion and forget your dream, your goals. It would be better to not feel this feeling, it would be better if-'
"-If they just left, My Lord."
Sesshoumaru turned around quickly, he hadn't even noticed when Jaken had come up behind him.
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed in anger and Jaken backed up in fright.
"What is it."
"Um... Sesshoumaru-sama, it's just that..." Jaken gulped down his next words from fear and then bowed in a very clumsy and formal manner. "Excuse me, Sesshoumaru-sama, I had no right to voice my opinion."
"Out with it before I lose my patience!"
The toad jumped back at least 6 feet. In this quiet hall there was only the two of them for once. Sesshoumaru covered his embarrassment from speaking out loud his thoughts and from having someone, especially the toad demon before him, sneak up on him.
"It's just that... Sesshoumaru-sama seems distracted."
Before he could even stop himself Sesshoumaru's sword was already poised to strike Jaken down. But realizing what he was doing, losing his temper, Sesshoumaru returned to his normal frigid composure and turned his back on his servant.
Such small words of truth that could cause such a reaction. Even if Jaken had overheard him Sesshoumaru didn't want to lose a valuable servant.
"I should get rid of both Kikyou and Rin. Was that what you were about to suggest?"
"Well...um...My Lord-" Jaken stuttered, trying to find some way out of this conversation with his head still intact.
"I will decided who goes and who stays. Not you."
"I understand Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Besides," Sesshoumaru turned back to his servant. In the light of the setting sun it seemed as if the demon lord was covered in blood. "No mere human would be able to hold my attention enough to be distracted. Nor would they be anything other than like you, a servant. Something for my amusement or pleasure."
Jaken looked down quickly, his large eyes riveted to the floor boards to avoid looking at Sesshoumaru. "Does that mean my Lord that you...and...um the humans..."
Sesshoumaru barely showed his anger, but this toad was so infuriating. It would have been better to just walk away instead of keeping the conversation going, or trying to convince himself and Jaken that he meant every word. "That means you live, for now. And they as well. Do you understand?"
Of course he understood. Knowing his position in life there was no way Jaken could have done anything else but bow and accept his terms. After all, the only reason the toad demon was living was because of Sesshoumaru. Without Sesshoumaru's protection he would have probably died a long time ago.
Before anything else could be said, a small gasp distracted them.
Kikyou stood behind Sesshoumaru. Her body half concealed by a corner, she held a hand to her mouth in disbelief. The tears on her face were an accurate portrait of a lover being hurt again for the final time. There was no anger in it, only a sad, broken glare of disbelief and hurt.
As if she herself couldn't even believe she was crying, Kikyou looked down at the tears on her fingers and then turned quickly and ran away.
Before he could stop himself, Sesshoumaru ran after her.
"Kikyou, wait!"
Kikyou shook her head, tears and her black hair fanning out and shaking with her movements like the tail of a fish. Her hand went back to her mouth, keeping in a sob.
He easily caught her in the small hallway, grabbing her forearm and bringing her to face him.
"I said wait, dammit!"
She shook her head, tears—saltwater tears, which were the build up of rainwater and any other liquids she had consumed—falling on his body with the movement. She was fragile beneath his hands, a clay body perfectly molded and easily breakable, but inside her spirit was still human, still a woman despite how strong she appeared. And Sesshoumaru was reminded of it as Kikyou continued to cry in his arms, stiffing her sobs by biting down on her fingers and clenching her eyes shut.
"Just look at me!"
Kikyou avoided his eyes, her hand still clamped to her mouth. The smallest movement of her head was a negative as her shoulders started to quake.
He hadn't meant for her to hear that. It wasn't even what he really felt. But in the world he existed in, a world far different then the sheltered world she had lived in, this was how things had to be.
He could not offer her his hand. At the most she would forever remain his mistress. A servant for pleasure in the public eye. A fallen priestess that was now a demon lord's concubine.
Kikyou shook her head again as he pulled her toward him once more for a tense embrace. Her head rested against his chest as her shoulders shook harder than ever and she could no longer hold back her cries.
"Never... Never, never! Never again...Never..."
Her muttered cries were against betrayal. He hadn't lost her, but he was beginning to lose her by keeping his thoughts from her and by trying to push her away for the sake of keeping his status as a powerful a king and a demon without a heart. Sesshoumaru was losing Kikyou.
"Hey, look at me."
Sesshoumaru put his fingers under her chin and gently compelled Kikyou to look at him. Kikyou closed her eyes as her face was brought up to meet his. Her hands trembled on his chest, clenched to breaking point in the fabric of his coat.
"Look at me."
Her brown eyes were liquid pools of agony, yet the trust and love was still there. And Sesshoumaru cursed himself for it.
He was falling down the same path that Inuyasha had fell down. The same path his father had taken. He was letting Kikyou, the person who he loved, down.
"I will never betray you. Alright? I will never-"
Kikyou broke his hold on her chin and returned his embrace with a fierce, passionate one of her own.
It was salty, the meeting of their bodies, with her tears and her kiss tasted like the sea too. And his lie hung over the two of them even as their embrace deepened.
"Do you ever regret it?"
In the darkness of the night the full moon hung over the both of them. Its light cast shadows in the room and highlighted both Sesshoumaru and Kikyou's hair. Her eyes were full of moonlight and full of him.
Sesshoumaru leaned his cooling body against the window frame, his nude torso and wide shoulders blocking out part of the window and Kikyou's view of the moon. The blanket was between them and Kikyou had the upper half of his robes.
Wrapped in the silky fabric of the sheets and the rough crimson of his clothes, Kikyou looked over at him with messy hair and worried eyes.
Sesshoumaru looked back at the moon. "I don't regret anything."
"Not even being born?"
"Never."
Kikyou looked down at the mess they had made. It had been more of a fight than lovemaking.
"I thought the first time was suppose to be gentle..."
"Sorry."
"Forget it. I'm not a "woman" anyway."
"Kikyou-"
Kikyou cut him off. "And this body isn't real, is it?"
Sesshoumaru turned back to look at her, his face a mask of fury. "I don't ever want to hear that from you again. Understand?"
Kikyou crawled toward him on her hands and knees and rested her head in his lap. Fingering his shorter hair she smiled up at him. Only 50, plus 17, she was younger than him. Still a child compared to him. Yet she was all woman, even in that body, and it was enough for Sesshoumaru.
"Hmmm... Your hair's getting longer."
"I'll cut it again."
Kikyou laughed, it was like the ring of a bell in the night; scattering moon beams with it's sound as it reached his ear.
"Why bother? It'll just grow again. The hair of a demon grows fast."
Sesshoumaru leaned toward her, almost about to kiss. "There is something I regret."
"What?" Her worry over his fickle feelings was amusing in that she still doubted his word. Her emotions had become clear as she had screamed his name and wounded his back with her passion. Kikyou wanted to wound him, leave some mark on him, and even after the climax of their lovemaking she had kept her nails embedded in his flesh and watched with dismay as the marks she left healed.
"I regret his existence."
Kikyou pulled back, tugging some of his strands of hair as a hungry smile appeared on his lips for an instant. Hungry for the blood of the being whose existence could still be felt in her. The old hatred flared up in her eyes, and Sesshoumaru couldn't tell if it was true hatred or just what her soul needed, was made of, demanded. Kikyou had told him that she was the only part left of Kagome that would not bend, would not forget, or move on. She was born in this world to hate, and would hate. Yet Sesshoumaru knew she could love to, and even as he watched her eyes light up he noticed that as he watched the hatred for Inuyasha simmer in Kikyou eyes that other feelings for him existed too.
Sesshoumaru believed that Kikyou loved him, but he also knew that even though she loved him the issue of Inuyasha was where they differed.
"If Inuyasha didn't exist all doubts would be cleared. I could love you freely. Even with the nobility standing in the way no one would dare doubt my power or your origin with him out of the way."
Inuyasha, the only one that was privy to all their secrets. The only one besides him that had ever caused Kikyou to cry, out in sorrow or passion or rage, and the only thorn in his side. With him out of the way, with all of his father's swords by his side, how many would decry him as a traitor once he had his father's power? Even though marrying a human was unforgivable, weakness was even more so. Isn't that why his father kept his crown after marrying a human wench, after murdering his lawful wife, because of power?
"Sesshoumaru-"
"I will destory him. I will have his head. It is either me or him. I won't surrender you to him."
Yes, Kikyou loved him. For now. But if she died her soul would go back to Kagome wouldn't it? That means that someday, somewhere, Sesshoumaru would lose her to his brother. Time would separate them. How long could Kikyou exist in her current body? And what if someday, despite all her words and promises, Kikyou went back on her word and went back to his brother?
Always the strategist, there were too many factors, too many lose ends, to trust it all to feelings or chance. Whether in love, war, or everything in between, for Sesshoumaru it had to be all for nothing, with no obstacles in the end.
"-Sesshoumaru, you already have me-" Kikyou tried to interrupt him, to plead with him, but Sesshoumaru ignored her.
Sesshoumaru could no longer see Kikyou. He looked down into the palm of his remaining hand. Scarred and coarse from his years of battle and bathed in blood of both the innocent and the damned. Inuyasha's hands and his own wouldn't rest without the death of the other. Every time they fought he could see it in his eyes the same hunger that burned in his own.
Either Inuyasha would die, or Sesshoumaru would. This was the law of all territorial creatures. Either one would submit or the other. There could be no other way.
As long as both Inuyasha and Kikyou held even the smallest bit of feelings for each other, Inuyasha would have to die.
"Sesshoumaru? Sesshoumaru you already have me! Is this about the sword-"
"Damn the sword! I'm not talking about the sword! Let him have father's trinket. I have something greater," Sesshoumaru pulled an unwilling Kikyou up by her wrist. "Don't you see? If Inuyasha is dead it will be the end of both our suffering. Two birds will be killed with one stone. With the sword and you at my side I will have become invincible."
Kikyou appeared not only worried this time, but frightened of him as well. "Sesshoumaru, you're starting to scare me. You sound like Naraku."
Sesshoumaru pulled away. He put his hand to his forehead and dug his claws into his hair in confused frustration. The sudden urge to hit her came, hot and fierce and consuming in its fury, but was held back by whatever ounce of humanity his father had seen in him to give him Tenseiga.
It was not out of guilt for plotting to kill Kikyou's former lover right in front of her that Sesshoumaru hesitated in reassuring Kikyou. Nor was it because of the absence of guilt that Sesshoumaru felt. It was the injury Kikyou had inflicted upon him by linking him to Naraku that made him hesitate.
Sesshoumaru could feel no shame in plotting to murder his brother. He had been trying to kill him for centuries. These were the feelings of a demon. He did not have Inuyasha's human side to fall back upon. Love could not be counted on to stay his hand.
If Kikyou got in the way then he would kill her as if they had no ties at all. That was certain. As much as he loved Kikyou, if death would make her his then so be it. As long as Inuyasha was dead first.
Kikyou, worried for his mental stability, ignored whatever warning signs in her that had made her frightened of him in the first place and hugged Sesshoumaru to herself. Her body enclosing his like a parent to a child's in a tender embrace.
"I'm sorry. We'll get through this together. You promised to protect me remember? And I-"
"Promised to cry for you. I remember."
Kikyou smiled and smoothed back his hair as Sesshoumaru buried his face in her shoulder and her scent. Saltwater, earth, decay, his sweat and his spent seed on her skin marking Kikyou as his. Forever, if Sesshoumaru had his way.
The moon watched over the both of them.
Their summer was coming to an end.
"In the summer false hopes grow like weeds and days stretch on to eternity. Only my love is certain. Smoldering in the desert heat and into the night.
Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall:
This is only the beginning of our journey."
(Summer – Chapter 4 – End)
Author's Notes:This is the end of the Summer trilogy. The next season if Fall. There is some bonuses for this season though:
1. Kagome and Inuyasha's separate views concerning the last chapter will be up, but I don't know if they will be a part of the four chapters for Fall or not yet.
2. Also Rin's view on Sesshoumaru and Kikyou's affair will be apparent, but will probably be part of the Fall trilogy.
Fall is the time to reap the bounties that have been planted and grown during the spring and summer. Spring is the time to sow roots, and summer is the time to watch those roots grow.
And winter is the end until next year's cycle of birth and growth. All of which leads back to death and the promise of enrichment.
I hope this is taking a turn away from the other Sess/Kik fiction out their, but staying true to both characters roots. If Sesshoumaru had just turned away from it all, including the sword, it would have seemed too fake. Just as if Kikyou had suddenly had her heart mended it would be a WTF factor. People don't change that easily, if at all. Sesshoumaru is a demon. Kikyou is dead. This is just how things are. A miraculous rebirth for the both of them would just warp the whole story. Nothing is certain, but Kikyou is not going to walk out of this human and Sesshoumaru will not walk away from this forgiving everyone and forgetting the past. In fiction, especially fan fiction, this often happens, but in reality it does not. I enjoy plots that make Sesshoumaru forgiving and Kikyou human, but I want to put a little reality into this with out distorting the feel. Since this is not reality, but fantasy with real elements of romance, I only feel it's right to give you—the reader—an enjoyable read. That comes first and foremost. So if I am often late, about a month or more, in releases, I am sorry. But I want to dish out the best, first class A+ angst, romance, and drama without any fillers like bad plot lines.
With that said, look forward to Fall!
