AN:
So sorry for the delay in posting. I thought I'd give you all a brief explanation on why it took me so long. Firstly, I got this burst of creativity to work on the original novel I'm writing. I was totally consumed with that for about a week and I couldn't focus on anything else. Secondly, I had a really hard time getting back into Edward's head, and that was probably due to my obsession with my original stuff. Thirdly, I have been working more for the last two weeks since my boss had a death in the family. I really wanted to try to finish this story before the movie comes out, but I'm not sure if that will happen. Anyway, thanks for reading and for your patience.
I'm a little nervous about this chapter since a great deal of it is extra stuff that isn't in Eclipse. I hope you like it *crosses fingers*. All of this belongs to Stephenie Meyer, by the way. I'm just playing. Much love to you all.
PS. My birthday was this week. Please leave me some love in the form of reviews.
Chapter 9-Puzzles
While I waited for Bella to change clothes before her evening in La Push, I decided that tonight might be a good time to unveil the Ducati. I hadn't asked Alice how Bella would react to my surprise, but I assumed that wouldn't be necessary. Bella loved riding, after all. I wanted to prove to her that she and I could enjoy ourselves together while she was still human. I also hoped that she'd stop thinking of me as a reserved, controlling man who wanted to tell her what to do.
"So, what have you decided to do with your motorcycle?" I asked Bella casually as she drove her slow, decrepit truck down the winding roads toward my house. I hated letting her drive almost as much as I hated her truck, but she'd insisted and I decided to humor her since Charlie was there when we left.
Bella raised her eyebrows at this unexpected topic of conversation and paused for a moment before answering.
"It's funny you should bring that up since I was just thinking about it," Bella replied, her forehead creasing pensively. "I really don't want to sell it, so I suppose I should take it back to La Push. I was going to ask you load it up for me so I could drop it off this evening. I haven't had a chance to ride much lately and once I've been…changed Jake can do whatever he wants with it. He's the one who fixed it up, after all."
I tried to keep my expression neutral as I listened silently. I didn't want her to hear disappointment in my voice, so I merely nodded as she spoke. Perhaps I would be able to load her bike into the Volvo before she saw the Ducati. If she went inside with me, there would be no chance of that since it was parked right next to her bike. I didn't want her to feel guilty about spoiling my plans. She glanced apprehensively at me, and I knew she must be thinking about my previous disapproval of her hobby.
One of these days she's gonna get tired of you acting like a controlling jackass, and I'll be waiting...
Jacob had thought earlier that afternoon.
I had been such a fool to try to tell her what to do, no matter how well-intentioned I'd been. Jacob would surely use my mistakes to his advantage tonight.
"If you want to wait here, I'll go and get your bike," I told Bella as I walked toward the garage.
"That's okay, I'll come with you," Bella replied as she closed the rusty driver's side door loudly.
I sighed inaudibly. She was going to see it no matter what I did.
My shiny new toy was parked right beside Bella's little red motorcycle in the garage, and of course, she noticed it immediately.
"What is that?" She asked as she studied the glossy silver bike. . Her tone was subtly disdainful. The motorcycle had clearly been a bad idea.
"Nothing," I grumbled quietly.
"It doesn't look like nothing," she pressed, looking up at me curiously. I might as well come clean. I tried to keep my expression nonchalant as I explained.
"Well, I didn't know if you were going to forgive your friend, or he you, and I wondered if you would still want to ride your bike anyway," I replied with a halfhearted shrug. "It sounded like it was something that you enjoyed. I thought I could go with you, if you wished."
She stared intently at the motorcycle, lost in her thoughts. I couldn't figure out why she almost looked…sad. I couldn't make sense of her reaction. Did she see my disappointment?
How I wished I could read her mind just once!
"I wouldn't be able to keep up with you," She replied quietly, still focused on my motorcycle.
Ah. Bella liked simple things, and this particular bike was loaded with features and designed for speed. Perhaps she was also bothered by the amount of money she knew I'd spent. Maybe I should have purchased a base model Harley…
"I'd keep pace with you, Bella." I promised, thinking that Jasper and I could test the bike's full potential together should I feel the need to do so.
"That wouldn't be much fun for you." Bella said with a sad sigh.
As usual, Bella was trying to put my feelings before her own, but in this particular case she was missing the point. What I wanted-no, needed-was to show her that I could change my overbearing ways and enjoy life with her.
"Of course it would, if we were together." I assured her earnestly.
"Edward, if you thought I was going too fast or losing control of the bike or something, what would you do?"
I paused for a moment, trying to decide how to respond. An image of Bella racing down the winding spruce lined roads on a speeding, out of control motorcycle flashed in my mind. I knew exactly how I would react, and from the look in Bella's eyes, so did she. This was never going to work. It had been a stupid, impetuous idea on my part.
"Overprotective, isn't he," Jacob had sneered at Bella when he'd shown up at school to confront me about the encounter my family had with the pack. Bella's response to his comment had been defensive, and I realized now that the reason for her reaction was that she agreed with Jacob's assessment.
"This is something you do with Jacob. I see that now." I replied, trying to hide the hurt I felt. I had no right to feel this way; the only reason she'd formed an attachment to Jacob Black was because I'd left her.
Bet that bloodsucker's a real bore. Jacob's mental voice sneered in my head.
"It's just that, well, I don't slow him down so much, you know. I could try, I guess...." Bella said skeptically as she bit her lip. I could tell that she was trying to spare my feelings and the last thing I wanted was for her to worry about upsetting me. On the bright side, maybe her concern for me would make it easier for me to get her to accept the riding jacket and helmet I'd purchased for her with the Ducati.
"Don't worry about it," I replied with an airy, forced laugh. "I saw Jasper admiring it. Perhaps it's time he discovered a new way to travel. After all, Alice has her Porsche now."
"Edward, I—" Bella started to protest, but I distracted her by cupping her face in my hands and kissing her gently. "I said not to worry," I continued when I released her soft, warm lips. "But would you do something for me?"
"Whatever you need," Bella promised at once. I pulled away from her and retrieved the helmet and riding jacket from a shelf next to the bikes.
"Please?" I implored with another forced smile.
She took the helmet and examined it for a moment.
"I'll look stupid," she grumbled as she ran her fingers over the smooth red top.
"No, you'll look smart. Smart enough not to get yourself hurt." I argued, hoping desperately that she'd wear it without further argument as I draped the riding jacket over my arm. I placed my newly freed hands on either side of her face, stroking her warm cheeks with the pads of my thumbs.
"There are things between my hands right now that I can't live without," I told her in a choked whisper. "You could take care of them."
"Okay, fine," she conceded, eyeing the riding jacket doubtfully. What's that other thing?"
I laughed in earnest this time as I unfolded the coat.
"It's a riding jacket," I explained. "I hear road rash is quite uncomfortable, not that I would know myself." I held it out hopefully.
She sighed in an exasperated sort of way as she pushed her long mahogany hair over her shoulders and donned the helmet. I assisted her in putting on the jacket and stepped away from her to examine the fit. It was perfect, but I was surprised to see something else when I took in her appearance. The way she looked in the supple leather of the jacket with her hair cascading down her back underneath the helmet was nothing short of erotic. I shifted slightly as put a little more distance between us.
"Be honest, how hideous do I look?" Bella said with a sigh. I nearly laughed at the impossibility. She was so stunningly beautiful and she had no idea what she did to me. I looked at her slumped shoulders and realized I should tell her more often.
"No, no, Bella. Actually..." I began, trying to decide how bold I should be before I chose to be completely honest. "You look...sexy." I continued, my voice lower than usual with desire.
"Right," Bella laughed.
"Very sexy, really," I said thickly as I tried not to think about unzipping the jacket and slowly sliding it off her shoulders to allow me better access to…
"You are just saying that so that I'll wear it," she continued disbelievingly, interrupting my lurid daydream. "But that's okay. You're right, it's smarter."
I adjusted my jeans quickly before she could notice and pulled her close to me.
"You're silly," I said as I relished the feel of her against my chest. She had no idea how much I desired her. "I suppose that's part of your charm. Though, I'll admit it, this helmet does have its drawbacks."
And before I could stop myself, I decided to indulge my fantasy just a little as I pulled the helmet off and kissed her. I ran my fingers deftly through her hair as our mouths moved together. The feeling of her warmth pressed against me was ecstasy. For a moment, I forgot where I was taking her tonight.
"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Bella asked me as I drove toward the treaty border with her motorcycle in tow. It was a short drive to the prearranged location between the territories where Jacob had agreed to meet us, and I was deliberately taking my time.
"I'm just going to spend the evening at home with everyone," I replied casually. We'd planned to have a discussion about the goings on in Seattle but I had no intention of mentioning this to Bella at the moment. I told her enough when we were reading the newspaper earlier today. I didn't want to remind her of all of our troubles when she deserved to enjoy her evening.
"Tell them I said hi," Bella replied with a small smile. "And tell Alice not to worry about me."
I nodded, managing a small, false smile as I clenched the steering wheel a little tighter. I was going to be a million times more worried than Alice tonight. She had already predicted that I would get on everyone else's nerves this evening, and she'd asked Jasper to stay close to me. But I didn't want the company, so I planned to keep to myself once we were finished talking about Seattle. I considered returning to the place were I'd be meeting Jacob, but decided against it. If the wolves discovered I was hovering near the border it might make them nervous.
Bella was silent and pensive for several minutes and I wondered what she was thinking. I had just decided to ask when she interrupted the quiet.
"You know what this reminds me of?" Bella asked just as I started to smell the pungent odor of werewolf. "It's just like when I was a kid and Renée would pass me off to Charlie for the summer. I feel like a seven-year-old."
I let out a shaky laugh at the analogy, though Bella didn't seem to notice the nervous timbre of my voice. The comparison was surprisingly fitting, though the custody exchange here was far more somber. I was going to leave the most precious creature in my universe with my dangerous mortal enemy, who also happened to be in love with her. I had scarcely ever felt so helpless and frightened in my entire century of existence.
I saw him standing beside his patchwork Volkswagen long before Bella's eyes could register his appearance. He was wearing a smug smile as he stared intently at Bella through the windshield of my car. I tried not to listen to his thoughts, but considering they were aimed at annoying me I found it impossible to tune him out.
Six on the dot. Well, at least you're punctual, Bloodsucker. Glad you brought her so fast. Bella looks hot tonight…can't wait to get her on the rez where I won't have to worry about any leeches interrupting us…I wonder what she'd do if I kissed her…
I gripped the steering wheel so tightly that it nearly snapped beneath my fingers. Every fiber of my being wanted to turn the car around and take Bella as far away from Jacob Black as possible. I glanced briefly at Bella and saw her wave at Jacob through the windshield. I knew she wanted to be here and I had to respect her wishes.
"Call me whenever you're ready to come home," I said quietly, trying to keep my voice even. "And I'll be here."
"I won't be out late," Bella assured me. With a tremendous effort, I managed to smile at her as we got out of the car.
I grabbed her little motorcycle and the safety equipment I'd purchased for her out of the trunk of the Volvo. I tried not to think of the way she looked in the leather jacket as I handed it to her. I hated the idea of her wearing it in front of Jacob, but at least she would be safer.
"Do you have it all?" I asked her as she took the helmet and the jacket and sat them on the seat of her bike.
"No problem," Bella replied with a small smile.
I glanced back down at the leather jacket again and sighed regretfully. I couldn't stop thinking about the way she'd looked in the supple leather and the feel of her mouth on mine. Bella looked up at me and I knew she wanted me to kiss her goodbye. A sudden wave of intense longing washed over me, and I pulled her close on impulse, pouring as much passion as I safely could into the kiss. I could tell that she was surprised, but pleased as she responded to me at once, pressing her soft, warm form into my chest as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She moaned softly and I tightened my hold on her.
Gross! I think my retinas are on fire. Hearing Bella say she kissed him was bad enough…didn't need to see that…she's just as into it as he is. Trying to get her back might be a lot harder than I thought… I hate seeing his hands on her! Thank God I haven't had dinner yet…Ugh!!!
I was unable to suppress a laugh as I reluctantly released her. I sincerely hoped the filthy mutt thought about what he'd just seen in his dreams tonight.
"Goodbye," I said, feeling some satisfaction as I looked at her flushed face. She was still trying to catch her breath, and I could sense the heat radiating from every part of her. I loved being able to affect her the same way that she affected me.
"I really do like the jacket." I added as an afterthought.
Bella smiled and turned away from me and suddenly an overwhelming surge of terror raced through me like an electric shock. I froze for a moment as the panic and anguish crushed my chest. Horrible images raced through my mind as Bella moved toward the border and I away from it.
In an instant I saw Josiah Clearwater's memories of attacking his wife. The vision blurred and twisted until Jacob replaced Josiah and Bella replaced his wife in my head... the horrible feeling of emptiness as I walked away from Bella in the forest when I left her…Bella crashing her motorcycle…Jacob pulling Bella into his arms and kissing her passionately…
For a split second I nearly fell to my knees, prepared to beg her to come back home with me.
Fortunately, before I lost my mind, Jacob Black's gravelly voice brought me to my senses.
"What's all that?" Jacob asked Bella anxiously as he watched her pushing the bike over the boundary line. Did the bloodsucker tell her she isn't allowed to ride anymore, or did she get into trouble with Charlie again?
"I thought I should put this back where it belongs," I heard Bella reply cheerfully as I quickly made my way to the Volvo before I did something rash.
As I started the engine on the Volvo, I watched the exchange between Jacob and Bella with an increasing pain in my chest as he smiled warmly at her approaching figure. As soon as she'd crossed the treaty line, he bounded forward, setting the motorcycle aside as he scooped her up into his arms.
I started to pull away, revving the Volvo's engine loudly before realizing I was still in park.
Enjoying the view, bloodsucker? Payback's a bitch, huh? Jacob thought as he squeezed Bella tighter.
My chest felt like it was on fire and I had a mad desire to cross the boundary and run Jacob down with my car.
"Cut it out, Jake!" Bella cried halfheartedly as she squirmed in his arms. I pulled away at once, unable to tolerate the sight of the woman I loved in the embrace of another man, who was my rival and enemy in every way now.
I hated him.
"Hey, bro, how was the dog?" I heard Emmett ask me as soon as I walked in the front door of the house a few long minutes later. Every second that I had been away from Bella had felt like an eternity.
Rosalie promptly punched Emmett on the shoulder.
Idiot! His mouth runs off before his brain has a chance to catch up. Rosalie thought, and there was a note of apology in her mind.
"Sorry Edward, Emmett muttered, rubbing his shoulder. Guess that was pretty tactless. He added mentally.
"Yes," I agreed curtly as everyone made their way to the dining room and took their usual seats.
"What's the latest?" Emmett asked Carlisle at once.
"The Seattle Times is reporting a further escalation in the attacks," Carlisle replied grimly, reiterating what he'd said to me earlier as he laid several copies of the newspaper down in front of us. "I'm sure that a visit from the Volturi is imminent, and I don't believe Bella's break in was a coincidence. It's entirely possible that the events in Seattle have prompted members of the guard to investigate the situation before they choose to clean out the city."
I clenched my fists as Caius's smug face flashed in my mind. Had he sent the vampire who had ransacked Bella's room?
If they were coming to sort out a careless maker and unruly newborns, what were they waiting on? Was Caius biding his time until he could show Aro undisputable proof that Bella was still human so the guard could deal with us and Seattle at the same time? It would explain why her visitor had taken her things.
"I haven't seen anything yet," Alice interjected in an attempt to reassure everyone, especially me. Though that doesn't mean anything…could I be losing my talent? Is that possible? I wish I could at least see Bella right now…this is driving me crazy. Stupid dogs. She thought worriedly.
Jasper felt his mate's anxiety, and he clutched her hand reassuringly as he calmed her.
"We don't need to wait any longer," Emmett said emphatically as he pointed at the headlines. No one missed the eager undercurrent of his voice.
I wanted to agree with him, but we needed to come up with a plan first, and I had to make sure Bella would be safe in my absence.
I refused to dwell on the person I might have to rely on to protect her if she stayed here while I went to Seattle.
"No Emmett," Jasper replied forcefully. "We need to stay out of this and let the Volturi do their job." They are the keepers of the law. I refuse to believe they would do anything unjust to us. He added silently.
"And if their job involves visiting Bella again?" I growled angrily as I ripped a newspaper to shreds in one swift movement. How could he possibly continue to think highly of the Volturi after what Alice had told him about our experience in Italy?!
"Then you change her now," Jasper said clinically. "Alice should be able to give us enough time to do it before they come."
"No," Rose and I both said at the same time.
"I won't allow her to be changed when she's under that kind of stress," I said angrily. "It isn't fair to her."
"She's already made up her mind," Alice countered stubbornly while Esme nodded in agreement.
I meant what I showed Aro in Italy Edward. I'll do it myself if necessary. She's my sister! Alice added silently.
"She needs to have time to change it," Rose argued. I still don't think Bella has a clue about what she's giving up by choosing to love a vampire and an endless life of immortality. She thought.
I winced at the thought of Bella deciding that being with me was too great a sacrifice.
"I could do a lot more with her than he could in other ways too…" Jacob had thought the day of our encounter at school.
I shook my head slightly to try to rid my mind of the image of him with his arms around her. Panic squeezed my chest again and I wanted to tear my hair out. Jasper sensed my distress and I felt a wave of serenity wash over me like cool water a moment later. I tried to focus on the conversation at hand.
"Edward is right about Bella," Carlisle agreed. "Now is not the time to change her. In the interest of discretion, there are preparations that will need to be made, and she needs to finish school first if at all possible." She should be able to do this on her own terms without pressure. He added silently.
"And what about Seattle?" Esme prompted.
"As far as Seattle is concerned, I'm still going to agree with Jasper," Carlisle answered calmly. "We shouldn't intervene. But, if the killings continue we will have to leave Forks within the next few weeks."
"I can set up an appointment with Jenks on Monday about documents," Jasper agreed.
Jasper will need to talk to Jenks about getting papers for Bella too. Carlisle thought.
"I already have everything you'll need to take care of Bella," I told Jasper in response to Carlisle's thoughts.
I'd gotten copies of Bella's pertinent personal information when we'd been working on college applications together. I knew the day would come when we would need to move and I wanted to be prepared for an abrupt departure.
"But people are dying and it isn't right," Esme said sadly. "Isn't there anything we can do to stop it? Maybe if we could talk to these newborns, the Volturi wouldn't need to come here."
I had briefly considered what Esme was proposing when I first read the latest headlines about the deaths but quickly decided against the idea.
"I wish that were possible," Carlisle said sadly as he kissed Esme's hand. "But if there's a reckless creator in Seattle we cannot afford to get involved. If we were implicated, it would mean a death sentence for all of us." I won't sacrifice my family for anyone. He thought.
"Well, I think it's better to be proactive than reactive," Emmett added. "And I'd rather fight newborns than Volturi."
"I was thinking the same thing myself, Emmett," I agreed. "But we would need to plan any course of action carefully.
If it comes down to Bella's safety, I'll fight anyone and you know it, Edward. Emmett continued silently. I smiled at him. There were no words to express how grateful I was to my brother in that moment.
"We have a lot to consider," Carlisle said diplomatically. "For now, I think its best that we watch and wait and be prepared to leave Forks quickly should it become necessary."
Carlisle had essentially said the same thing to me earlier that afternoon. I was frustrated; I felt that we were talking in circles and deciding nothing. Emmett's thoughts echoed mine and we exchanged commiserating glances. I knew my brother wasn't finished expressing his opinions yet.
"Why are we meeting in here if we aren't going to do anything? Shouldn't we take a vote or something?" Emmett persisted, dissatisfied with Carlisle's opinion on the matter. I would have agreed with him, but I already knew the majority of the family, including Alice, would side with Carlisle.
"I know how frustrating it is to wait, but I'm not going to change my position regardless at this point." Carlisle replied patiently. His eyes traveled from Emmett's face to mine, and I knew from his thoughts that he was speaking more to me than the others. I know you're worried about Bella, but I promise you we'll take care of her. Please don't panic. He added mentally.
I glared angrily at him as I tried not to smash the table in front of me into sawdust. It was difficult to control my temper since I was already an emotional wreck over Bella's intruder and her being in La Push. It was a good thing that Jasper was using his gifts to keep me calm. Otherwise I would have been pacing fast enough to burn a hole in the floor.
"Why don't you go for a run with me, Edward," Jasper asked me pointedly after a long pause in the conversation. You're too wound up to go upstairs and hide until you hear from Bella. Alice knew you'd need me. He added mentally.
"I think we're done here, so you all can go ahead," Carlisle agreed pleasantly. "I've got to be at the hospital in a half an hour." You should stay with Jasper. He thought.
"I need to get back to Charlie's," Esme said as she got up from her seat and followed Carlisle out of the room.
"Okay," I agreed with a heavy sigh. "Are you coming, Alice?"
"Not today," Alice chimed cheerfully. "Rose and I have fashion related matters to discuss." And you need to talk to Jasper She thought.
"Do you guys mind if I tag along?" Emmett asked eagerly. You still owe me a rematch on our last race because you cheated, Edward. He added silently.
"You promised Esme you'd clean up that mess you left in the living room," Rosalie chided Emmett.
Damn it. Emmett thought. If hadn't been in such a wretched mood I might have laughed.
"I didn't forget," Emmett grumbled regretfully. "See you guys later."
"How is sitting on our hands and doing nothing going to solve the problem?" I said to Jasper as we raced through the evergreens. I looked at my watch for the 100th time in the last hour. I was desperate for Bella's call. Night had fallen hours ago, and a few stars were visible through tiny breaks in the constant blanket of clouds.
"It's not our problem to solve," Jasper replied calmly through the cool, misting rain. Getting involved at this point will only make things worse for us. You told me yourself that Aro sees our family as a threat due to our size and talents. He added wordlessly.
I suppressed the urge to pull a large spruce tree out of the ground by its roots.
"And you know that if they come here and find out Bella is still human, Alice and I will both be held accountable, correct?" I growled furiously.
"Yes," Jasper replied heavily. "Which is why you should trust me when I say doing nothing is for the best right now; you know I would never do anything that would endanger Alice." Don't you remember what I was willing to do to make sure Alice was safe from the Volturi when you risked exposing us to save Bella's life?
I nodded. I remembered all too well; Jasper had wanted to kill Bella after I saved her from Tyler Crowley's van. The heated argument that followed my decision divided our family, and I would have fought Jasper to protect Bella. Alice had persuaded him to leave her alone after she'd had a vision of Bella either dying at my hands or becoming a vampire.
"I feel all of your anger and fear and frustration, Edward," Jasper said as we stopped beside the river a few minutes later. "You're too emotional to be thinking clearly right now."
I sighed deeply as I sat down on the damp earth beside the water. I knew Jasper was probably right. I didn't make the best decisions when I was upset. What I'd done last fall was indisputable proof of that.
I know you're terrified of losing Bella for more reasons than one. Jasper added wordlessly.
"Yes," I whispered thickly, hanging my head. I really didn't want to talk about Jacob Black at the moment.
Just as I was about to change the subject, I felt the phone in my pocket vibrate. I pulled it out at once and elation surged through me when I saw the number flashing on the front of the screen. Thank heaven! It was nearly ten thirty, and she had a curfew.
"Hello love," I said eagerly as soon as I pressed the answer button. "Are you ready to come home?"
"Aww, I didn't know you cared, bloodsucker," Jacob Black's deep voice retorted through the receiver.
Rage and panic replaced the happiness I'd felt at once. I kicked at a large rock on the shore and crushed it into a fine powder.
"Where is Bella and why in the hell do you have her phone?" I snarled furiously. If she was hurt I would kill him.
Jasper was standing right behind me now, trying to keep me calm while he listened carefully.
"Bella's fine, so you can relax," Jacob assured me in a more civil tone. I could hear the sounds of a crackling fire, a whisper of wind and muted voices in the background. "She just fell asleep. She seems really tired and I don't wanna wake her up, so I called Charlie and he said she could stay out an hour later."
I didn't say anything for a long moment; I was too surprised. I couldn't believe that Jacob was actually being courteous enough to call me.
"Well…thank you for calling, Jacob," I replied finally. "I appreciate you sorting things out with Charlie as well." I meant it, but I was terribly anxious about being away from Bella for an extra hour.
"Sure, sure," Jacob answered dismissively. "I didn't want her to get into trouble and Sam didn't want a hoard of bloodsuckers crashing our council meeting."
I heard Bella mumbling incoherently in her sleep a moment later.
"She's still outside with you?" I asked. It was a stupid, rhetorical question. An image of Bella curled up in Jacob Black's arms flashed in my mind and my insides churned horribly.
"Yep," Jacob replied smugly.
"Don't you think it's a bit cold to have her out in the elements?" I replied, hoping futilely that my lame excuse would make him take her inside. She could catch cold for one thing and for another, I hated the idea of him holding her close.
"Don't worry, bloodsucker. I'm keeping her nice and warm…or maybe you should worry." He laughed at his own joke. It wasn't remotely funny.
"Thank you again for calling Jacob," I said coldly as I suppressed a growl. I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much his words affected me. "I expect to see you back at our meeting place no later than midnight."
"See ya soon, Dracula," Jacob replied. An instant later the line went dead.
"Damn it, damn him and damn this whole fucked up mess!" I screamed as I finally lost control, ripped the large spruce out of the ground and threw it in the river.
Jasper gaped at me in shock. We'd lived together for over half a century and he'd only heard me use such language one other time. It had been when we were on our way to the ballet studio in Phoenix last year. I shuddered at the memory.
"Calm down, Edward," Jasper said as he stared intently at me. I felt my body relax marginally.
"I can't take this anymore," I said, feeling strangely tired. "I'm going to wait for Bella."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Jasper asked me doubtfully. "Maybe you should just stay here until its time."
"I've got to get out of here," I snarled, daring him to argue his point further. He could feel my resolve and he didn't. I ran back home to get my car without another word.
It was barely eleven o'clock when I made it to the boundary. I had a whole hour to drive myself crazy. I was nearly nauseated with worry and jealousy. I was grateful that vampires couldn't actually get sick.
I tried to think of something, anything to keep from losing the last threads of my patience and sanity as I sat in the car. Music did no good; every CD I tried to listen to seemed to mock me as every song was about love or held some significance to Bella and I. I turned on the radio, hoping to hear something less familiar. I switched stations until I found a melody that seemed pleasant. I focused all of my attention on the lyrics and regretted it almost instantly.
Touched by your grace
The only one to see my other face
Is it too much to ask of you
To stay inside with me?
Is it too much to ask of you to keep me alive?
It's my jealousy creeping up on me
Just my jealousy creeping up on me
Fortunes could fall upon your kiss
Everyone's a suitor I could miss
"Damn it," I growled through gritted teeth as I turned the radio and the ignition off in one swift movement. I jumped out of the car and began pacing restlessly, a thousand terrible scenarios playing in my head like a bad horror film.
Edward, there's something I need to tell you, Bella's voice said in my mind. Jake and I talked tonight and I realized that I'm in love with him. I'm so sorry…
Sam changed and I couldn't stop him, Jacob this time, his voice thick with remorse and tears. He lost his temper and I was too late. She's dead.
She's dead, Edward. Rosalie said.
I kicked and demolished yet another tree as the fear gripped my chest again.
It was five minutes until midnight when I finally heard the distant sounds of Jacob's old Rabbit trundling toward me. I relaxed slightly, but I knew I wouldn't be at peace until Bella was back in my arms. I continued my obsessive pacing until the little red car stopped about 20 yards away.
I looked up to see Bella watching me curiously through the windshield of the car. She registered my anxious demeanor and quickly unbuckled her seatbelt.
"Yeah, he's not so patient, is he?" Jacob said. "Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?" If I didn't know better I'd say you didn't trust me, leech. He thought sarcastically.
"Sure, Jake," I heard her reply as she opened the car door. I cringed at the though of trying to endure being separated from her while she was in La Push again.
"Sleep tight, Bells. Don't worry about anything—I'll be watching out for you tonight." Jacob assured her with a small smile. Two of us will be patrolling the outskirts of Forks tonight, bloodsucker. I wouldn't want that redheaded leech to get past you again.
I wanted to grab him by the throat and tell him that Bella didn't need him because I would be with her, but the practical part of my mind knew that her safety was more important than my animosity. As much as I hated to admit it, the wolves could be an asset to us.
"No, Jake. Get some rest, I'll be fine." Bella answered as she got out of the car. I hated hearing the care and concern in her voice.
"Sure, sure," he said in a patronizing tone. Sam is waiting for me and I don't have time to argue about it. He thought.
"'Night, Jake; thanks," she smiled sleepily.
"'Night, Bella," he whispered. I love you. He added wordlessly.
I cringed internally at his mental musings for a brief moment, but seconds later my Bella was walking toward me and nothing else mattered but her.
"Bella," I cried, scooping her up into my arms and holding her close. I couldn't even find it in me to care that she smelled like dog. She was in my arms where she belonged; safe and unharmed. She rested her head on my shoulder and I sighed in contentment.
Don't hold her so tight leech; she's cold enough as it is. I bet she'll miss how warm I am on the way home. She slept so soundly when I was holding her…Jacob thought, deliberately conjuring up images of Bella curled into his side, resting peacefully.
"Hi. Sorry I'm so late. I fell asleep and—" Bella began apologetically.
"I know. Jacob explained," I answered quickly as I walked her to the car. I wanted to get away from Jacob and his thoughts about how much he'd enjoyed having her in his arms.
"Are you tired? I could carry you." I offered as she leaned against me for support. I knew that Jacob was right to let her sleep. It had been a difficult day for both of us.
"I'm fine." Bella slurred sleepily.
"Let's get you home and in bed," I said hurriedly as I half carried her to the car. Did you have a nice time?"
"Yeah—it was amazing, Edward. I wish you could have come," Bella said enthusiastically. Her words filled me with happiness. She must have missed me. I nearly laughed at the idea of me showing up at a party full of werewolves.
"I can't even explain it. Jake's dad told us the old legends and it was like...like magic."
"You'll have to tell me about it after you've slept." I replied earnestly. Her eagerness to tell me about her evening made me feel much better. She obviously hadn't experienced any startling revelations about some subconscious underlying passion for Jacob Black.
"I won't get it right," she answered through a large yawn. I laughed as I picked her up gently and put her in the car, kissing her cheek as I buckled her seatbelt.
Alright, bloodsucker, stop kissing her and get her home before Charlie gets pissed. Jacob thought irritably as he turned his car toward the reservation. I kissed the top of Bella's head for good measure as she waved through the window at him.
I watched Bella sleep peacefully in the front seat all the way back to Charlie's, feeling intensely relieved to have her back. She murmured my name softly as we drove through the city limits, and I smiled.
Charlie was peering out of the front window when I pulled the Volvo into the driveway. I could hear Esme's quiet footsteps in the forest behind me. Alice had foreseen our arrival so she'd been expecting us.
There she is. She's late. I didn't know Edward was driving her home. Jake must have called him to pick her up since she was so tired. He's such a good kid. Charlie thought.
I ignored his rhapsodizing as I gently jostled Bella awake.
"We're here, love," I whispered. "Charlie's waiting for you."
"Oh," Bella muttered as she stretched. I resisted the urge to carry her inside, knowing that it would remind Charlie of the way I brought her home when we returned from Italy.
"Running a little late, aren't you kid," Charlie scolded as Bella staggered in through the front door with me close behind her.
"Sorry dad," Bella apologized. "I fell asleep and Jake called Edward to come and get me."
"Yeah I know," Charlie replied. "Get to bed. You have school tomorrow and I expect you to be up and ready on time."
"Sure, sure," Bella agreed, and I gritted my teeth at the expression she'd obviously picked up from Jacob.
"And I'm sure your parents expect you to be at school bright and early in the morning, too Edward," Charlie said pointedly. That means its time for you to get out of my house. He thought.
"Yes, I should be going," I agreed, thinking of Esme. "Good night Charlie."
"Humph," Charlie grumbled with a nod of his head as he turned to go upstairs. I don't want to see their goodnight, but I'll be watching for his car to leave and if he's not gone in five minutes…
"I'll see you tomorrow," Bella said as the hint of a smile played on her lips. She knew that I would be right outside waiting for Charlie to go to sleep.
"I'll pick you up at the usual time," I said quietly, winking as she leaned in to give me a hug. Charlie might have gone upstairs but she and I both knew that he was still listening.
"I love you," Bella said softly as she kissed my shoulder.
"You are my life," I whispered into her hair, thinking of the first time she'd said those words to me. If I heard her say it every moment of every day I would never tire of the sound.
"All is calm and quiet," Esme said as I joined her in the woods a few moments later.
"Good," I replied.
"How was Bella's visit with her friend," Esme asked me carefully. I could hear in her thoughts that she was reluctant to broach the subject but too curious to keep from asking.
"She enjoyed herself," I replied evenly.
"That's nice," Esme said with a nod as we did a quick run around the perimeter of the house. "I know this is hard for you, dear, but it won't be for much longer. Soon Bella will be one of us forever, and all of this will be over."
I sighed heavily, unable to discuss this situation any more tonight. Between Bella's visitor, the escalation of tension in Seattle, and the werewolves, I had very nearly reached the end of my rope for the day. I could hear the faint, muffled sounds of wolf paws running through the ferns 6 miles away.
"You should go home now, mom. I daresay Carlisle will be home from the hospital shortly." I said in response.
"Of course, dear," Esme nodded, understanding. "I'll take the Volvo home and I'll see you in the morning.
I needed to be with Bella.
When I reached the edge of the clearing near Charlie's house, I could see Bella looking out of her open window through the chilly rain. She was waiting for me. I smiled at the sight of her in her old sweats and ran to her. I zipped up the tree and climbed into her window before her human eyes could register the movement. I pulled her wordlessly into my arms. Thankfully, she'd taken a shower and the dog smell was gone.
"Is Jacob out there?" Bella asked me as she shuddered from the cold wet air. I suppressed a groan. I'd had enough of Jacob Black in the last twenty four hours to last an eternity.
"Yes...somewhere," I answered as I listened to the faint footfalls again. And Esme's on her way home."
"It's so cold and wet. This is silly." Bella grumbled. As if to illustrate her point, she shivered again.
"It's only cold to you, Bella." I said with a laugh as I latched the window. "Now you need to go to sleep."
"I'm not really that tired anymore," Bella replied, yawning before she could finish her sentence. I laughed again as I picked her up swiftly. Before she could protest I had tucked her into bed.
"Goodnight my love," I said as I cradled her in my arms and turned out the light. I began to hum her lullaby, and she fell asleep 46 seconds later.
Bella slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning much more than usual. Twice I was sure she would've fallen out of the little bed had I not been there to hold her. She didn't speak my name nearly as often as usual. Her restlessness disturbed me, as did many of the things she uttered in unconsciousness. Finally, she settled down for a time and I decided to do a little more reading. I picked up Bella's well used copy of Wuthering Heights. Once again, I found myself relating to Heathcliff in ways I could never have imagined before. I thought of how much I loathed Jacob Black as I read.
And there you see the distinction between our feelings: had he been in my place and I in his, though I hated him with a hatred that turned my life to gall, I never would have raised a hand against him. You may look incredulous, if you please! I never would have banished him from her society as long as she desired his. The moment her regard ceased, I would have torn his heart out, and drank his blood! But, till then—if you don't believe me, you don't know me—till then, I would have died by inches before I touched a single hair of his head!
I laughed humorlessly at the idea of drinking Jacob's foul blood. Killing him might sound appealing, but making a meal of him was another matter entirely. Under normal circumstances I would have no compunctions about killing him, but for her sake I knew that I would never be able to harm him even if my life depended on it. But no one, not even my own family would have believed that. I was just about to turn the page when Bella began to thrash and moan again.
"Stop," Bella muttered desperately, her heart racing. "You can't…too dangerous…Rosalie,"
Rosalie!?? Why on earth would Bella be dreaming about Rose? This just kept getting stranger.
"A knife…" Bella muttered, twisting as though she was running from something.
Abruptly, Bella's eyes flew open. I pulled her closer to me in an effort to soothe her.
"Did I wake you?" I whispered anxiously. I tossed the book aside and it fell to the floor with a soft thud.
No," Bella muttered, relaxing as she nuzzled my neck. "I had a bad dream."
"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked her curiously. Her nocturnal muttering had been so bizarre that I was desperate to know what she'd been dreaming.
"Too tired…maybe in the morning, if I remember," She replied as she shook her head drowsily.
"In the morning," I replied with a nod.
"What were you reading?" Bella slurred, she was already starting to doze again.
"Wuthering Heights," I confessed.
"I thought you didn't like that book," Bella muttered with a frown.
"You left it out," I whispered.
"Besides...the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I'm discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn't think possible before." I explained as I tried not to think of the parallels I was drawing between Heathcliff's situation and my feelings toward Jacob Black.
"Mmm," Bella sighed, and I knew she was only moments away from being asleep again.
"Rest, my darling," I cooed as her breathing became slow and even again.
"I love you, Edward," She muttered softly.
"I love you," I echoed in return, as I stroked her cheek reverently. "So much."
For a moment, all thoughts of werewolves and vampires and other strange supernatural puzzles were meaningless as I cradled my reason for existing closer. I thanked whatever mysterious force that ruled the heavens for giving me the peace that only her presence could provide.
AN The song Edward was listening to is called Jealousy by the Cary Brothers in case you want to check it out. Also, I noticed a very small canon discrepancy over the driving arrangements here, but it was something that I couldn't really change without rewriting a portion of chapter 8 and I was too lazy to do that. I think from the way this scene is written in Eclipse that Edward should have been following Bella in the Volvo. The book doesn't come right out and say so, but the way it's written out makes it sound like he had his car with him when they went back to the house. Oh well. It's a tiny thing, really but I wanted to make a note of it just in case.
