CHAPTER 9

Squall and Zell awoke in their Cell, which they were still in.

BARRET: About time you guys woke up! An open opportunity to escape occurs and you two have to pass out!

SQUALL: Yeah sorry about that, had that dream again about that guy with a tail.

ZELL: Yeah, my dream wasn't half bad, His Queen girl friend went to Balamb and spent a lot of time in the pub, man that was enjoyable apart from the part where a Sailor tried hitting on her.

SQUALL: Yeah? Well the tailed guy beated up Irvine and went about disguised as him!

ZELL: Oh man! I wished I could of seen that!

BARRET: What the hell are you two talking about? Common let's get out of here!

SQUALL: So this Tifa and Cloud are the ones behind that Meteor.

BARRET: Tifa? Cloud? Wha?

SQUALL: You know them two?

BARRET: Yeah! That spiked jerk Cloud owes me money he does!

SQUALL: Look, we can discuss this latter, Lets get out of here!

ZELL: Yeah, so Barret who was it that opened the cell door for us?

BARRET: No idea, I went out and there wasn't anyone there

SQUALL: But I saw a shadowy person in the doorway! And it looked Female too!

ZELL: You and your sick daydreams Squall

SQUALL: But I saw someone open that door!

BARRET: Oh lets stop talking and escape already,

ZELL: Yeah, we must save Pikachu!

SQUALL: I think we should stop Dildo Inc first Zell, then we can rescue your pet.

ZELL: No! We save him first!

BARRET: Okay we save the damn rodent! But lets escape from this Cell first.

SQUALL AND ZELL: Right!

BARRET: Good, lets go.

Before they could leave the cell the cell door was shut closed on them.

GUARD: Good thing I heard you lot chatting from the other room or I wouldn't have came here and shut this door and you would have escaped.

SQUALL, ZELL AND BARRET: DAMN!

BARRET: Aggghh! Now I am pissed!

Barret fired his arm gun and blasted away the cell door.

BARRET: Me happy now ^_^

SQUALL: Why didn't you do that before?

BARRET: I sometimes feget I have this gun on my arm, I also forgot about it a lot when Shinra used to capture me and put me in Prison cells.

GUARD: Blimey!

The Guard ran to a button and pressed it setting the Alarm off. Suddenly music playing to Grease lightning from the movie Grease started playing.

SQUALL: What the hell?

GUARD: Hey, we had to include the security alarm in the cut backs in Dildo INC's organisation.

ZELL: Great, that ruins the astrosphere.

BARRET: Well as long John Travolta doesn't appear and start singing I couldn't give a damn, now lets go!

SQUALL: Yeah, first we escape this place, and then we find and kill the author for putting us though this!

Load of Guards appear armed with Shovels and hammers.

BARRET: Why are the guards still kitted out as builders? Man Dildo INC must have problems with money management. Anyway Lets Rock!

Barret Started firing his gun and mowed down the army of Guards as Grease lightning lyrics filled the air.

Mean while in his office Mario was up on his desk dancing.

MARIO: Grease lightning, go grease lightning!

The Worker who talked to Mario before ran in.

WORKER: Sir! That's the alarm don't you remember?

MARIO: Ah shit! What's the problem?

WORKER: Prisoners have escaped!

MARIO: You can tell by the Alarm?

WORKER: Yeah, If it was something else it would be playing "if I were a rich man.

MARIO: I see..Ah where's Lugiui when I need him?

WORKER: If I recall sir, we sent him to that haunted mansion as a prank.

Meanwhile Somewhere in the haunted mansion Lugiui was searching for Mario using his torch.

LUGIUI: Mario?

Then a Ghost appears.

GHOST: OGLIE BOGLIE BOO!

LUGIUI: Was that meant to scare me?

GHOST: Well.erm yeah.

Lugiui sucks the ghost into his vacuum cleaner.

LUGIUI: Man this place isn't so scary.

Then Pyramid head from Silent hill appears.

LUGIUI: EEEEEEEEE!

Pyramid through Lugiui over his shoulder and disappeared down the corridor with him.

Back at Dildo Inc HQ things wasn't up so good for Mario.

WORKER: Sir! We are losing men!

MARIO: This cant be! I can't lose, because it's me, Mario!

WORKER: Erm...Indeed. Sir I suggest we take whoever is left and flee on the emergency escape helicopter!"

So Mario and a handful of men went to the rooftop of the Building and boarded the helicopter. Just then Squall, Zell and Barret arrived just as the Helicopter started taking off.

SQUALL: Oh no, Mario is getting away!

BARRET: Let me handle this!

Barret aimed his arm gun at the helicopter.

SQUALL: Is blowing things up and shooting things your answer to everything?

BARRET: Yup.

ZELL: I wouldn't want to be your tax collector.

Then from the helicopter they heard Mario's stereotypical and annoying Italian accent.

MARIO: I wouldn't shoot if I were you, Ive got your friend onboard.

ZELL: PIKACHU!

SQUALL: Damn, we can't fire at the helicopter and risk killing the Irritating Pokemon rodent that has no value to this plot and cant help us in anyway. That's just illogical.

MARIO: Ga hahahahahahaha, exactly as I thought. Well bye bye fools!

The Helicopter strained but couldn't get any higher than a few feet above the roof of the building. Even when the pilot put it to full blast.

MARIO: What happening? Why aren't we rising?

PILOT: Sir we have too much weight aboard, the chopper cant gain any more height.

Squall, Zell and Barret saw their chance and ran to the helicopter, climbed on it, started whacking their weapons against it.

MARIO: Hurry think of something before they get in!

PILOT: We need to lighten the load sir!

MARIO: what possibly could be so heavy?

All the men around Mario scoffed and gave out light coughs.

MARIO: Alright, for that you can all get off!

Mario threw all the men but the pilot off the Helicopter.

PILOT: Sir, we still are not gaining any height!

MARIO: ALRIGHT! I will get off then! I can take a hint!

Mario leaped off the Helicopter, with the sudden weight lifted off, the Helicopter which was still at full blast, soured into the sky at amazing speed. Taking Squall, Zell, and Barret with it.

PILOT: AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

SQUALL: AGGGGGGHHHHHH!

BARRET: AGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

ZELL: AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!

Mario watched the Helicopter disappear into the astrosphere from the roof of the Dildo Inc building.

MARIO: Well that's one way to get rid of them. Isn't it my furry little buddy?

Mario strokes Pikachu tormentingly.

MARIO: Ga hahahahahahaha

Pikachu electrocutes Mario.

MARIO: Hey quit it, I am trying to look evil here!

Pikachu shocks him again.

MARIO: I said Quit it!

Meanwhile back at Balamb Garden Irvine woke up in the bush outside the Entrance.

IRVINE: Moan..Where I am I? I must be having an hangover or something, No wait, I remember monkey boy.

He stood up and realised he was naked.

IRVINE: The little bastard stole my clothes! Oh man I cant be found like this. I must get to my dorm without being seen.

So Irvine ran around the Garden looking for a way in that wasn't guarded while covering his crotch with his hands.

IRVINE: Oh man, Ive been around the garden four times already and I cant find a way in without being spotted.

Then Irvine met up with another young man running about naked with hands over crotch.

IRVINE: Hey who are you?

RAIDEN: Who are you? Hey have you seen this bearded guy anywhere? Named Snake?

IRVINE: No, Well at least I am not the only guy running about naked.

RAIDEN: Hey join the club.

IRVINE: Theres a club?

RAIDEN: Yeah, The Naked Computer game characters club.

IRVINE: Hey can I join?

RAIDEN: Sure.

And with that, Irvine and Raiden Ran off into the sunset.