The last thing I wanted to do was go home but I figured the day had to come to an end sooner or later. Atticus kissed Maudie goodbye and shook Dill's hand as we left. I kissed Maudie as well but I gave Dill a hug.
"Let me know how tonight goes," Dill whispered in my ear.
"I will," I whispered as I gave his cheek a kiss. "How I wish tomorrow would never come though."
"I know," he said as he ran my hand through my hair.
"Scout," Atticus' voice boomed behind me. I forgot he was still there for a minute. He was beginning to stare holes through me and my face began to get red.
"It's okay," Dill said to me as he began to rub my back. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Tears began to well up in my eyes as I looked at him one last time. I wish it wasn't so hard to leave him and I wish he wasn't such a comfort to me. I wish I could find the same comfort in Hank or from Aunty or even from Atticus; I guess they just don't understand like he does. I don't know how he knows but it just seems natural to him. It scared me to feel how unnatural walking across the street with my own father felt right now.
"I'm sorry," he told me as we got up on the porch. "I'm sorry I reacted that way but you shouldn't let him touch you like that."
"He wasn't doing anything bad," I said.
"Honey, Hank still very much wants to be with you. I think you owe him a little more common courtesy."
"Have you been talking to Aunty?"
"No but Scout, you got to start using your head when it comes to certain things."
Scout, you got to stop thinking with this and start thinking with this. That phrase would probably ring in my ears for the rest of the night. My shock turned to anger as I realized that Atticus, my own father, was going against the very thing that brought me peace only so many hours ago. I walked through the house and into the dining room and felt stripped of everything that brought me back to life. I went from belly laughing to trying to remember to breathe in a matter of hours. I sat down next to Hank and he gave me another kiss I didn't want to return. Aunty served pork chops, homeade white bread and green salads in her silent smugness. I was asked to say a prayer; a real one, none of that, "rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yay God!" I pulled one off without a hitch while we went back to silence as we ate our meal.
"Excellent meal, Sister," Atticus complimented.
"Very good," Hank agreed.
"Yes, thank you," I said.
"What's for dessert?" Hank asked.
"Don't you think that's a little rude?" I scoffed.
"Oh, it's fine, darling," Aunty said while I cringed again. "There's chocolate cake in the icebox."
"I'll get it," Hank said as he got up.
"Since when does he care about dessert?" I asked as I noted that Atticus and Aunty looked a little too happy about dessert time. In no time he was back in the dining room but there was no cake. I threw my hands up in confusion as his smile widened and he got down on the floor and...
"Oh, fuck you," I said as he presented me a ring.
"Jean Louise!" Atticus and Aunty screamed at the same time.
"Will you marry me, honey?" He asked.
I couldn't answer him. I looked at the beautiful ring, then at Hank's pitiful face, then at Aunty who is ready to cry because she never thought this day would come for her pathetic excuse for a lady niece and then at my father. Oh God, Atticus. I began to cry as I looked at him and then back at the ring.
"Yes," I choked.
"What?" Hank asked like he couldn't believe it. How could he not? He didn't really put me in a position to say no.
"You got me," I said.
Fuck me. The only sound was that of Aunty sobbing and I wanted so badly to stick a sock in it for her. Hank slipped the ring on my finger and kissed my cheek. He got up and walked away to Atticus where they exchanged a bear hug. This had to be the coldest wedding proposal ever and lucky me to be at the bride end of it.
"Time for that cake," Hank said as he again walked out of the dining room.
"Oh, I need to go to the sink and wipe my eyes," Aunty said as she followed him out the door.
I broke down and sobbed into my hands. What the hell was this? I felt Atticus' hand reach the back of my neck and he began to rub it. That didn't stop me from sobbing.
"Honey, it's all right," he said.
"You knew about this?"
"He asked me this morning. He's been wanting to ask you for a long time. Look at me, baby."
I looked at him.
"Give me a smile."
I gave him a smile.
"Give me a kiss."
I kissed his cheek and he kissed mine.
"It's going to be all right. You're going to be all right."
"Atticus, I really don't want cake."
"Well, you don't have to eat it. You want to go lay down?"
"Yeah."
"Well, you do that. I'm sure Hank will understand."
"Understand what?" Hank asked as he brought out the cake.
"I'm going to go to my room. I need to go lay down."
"Are you okay, honey?"
"Yes, I'm fine," I said as I gave him a kiss for good measure.
"Well, of course you're fine," Aunty said as she patted me on the shoulders. "You're going to be a bride finally!"
"I know," I said rather sheepishly. "I'm going to my room to recover from all the excitement."
"I don't blame you. Come back when you're ready."
I thanked God she let me go like she did. I had my own phone in my room and I was going to call Dill there. I just had to get to my phone, dial Maudie's number and be able to talk. It shouldn't be that hard, right? Just breathe, girl, just breathe.
"Hello, this is Maudie Atkinson," Miss Maudie answered.
"Hello, Maudie, this is Jean Louise."
"Are you okay, honey?"
"Yes. May I please talk to Dill?"
"Sure, he's right here."
I inhaled slowly and deliberately. I heard Dill ask before he got on the line with me if I was okay and Miss Maudie told him yes. I was relieved to finally hear him talk to me.
"What's happening, Scout?"
"I'm getting married," I blurted out as I began to cry again.
"To Hank?"
"Who else?"
"Don't cry, honey."
"I can't not cry, Dill."
"You're going to be okay."
"That's what Atticus said."
"Now I'm telling you. You're going to be one hell of a bride, I tell you what."
"You're going to come to my wedding right?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
The idea of my wedding didn't sound too bad anymore.
