Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

AN: 143, 144, 145, belongs to 03hermione1992. Also a massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.

The students were sent the next letter while they were eating breakfast.

Some also got letters and gifts from their families, but those gifts and letters were sidelined until they had read the letter from the headmaster.

Dear Students,

I just got new glasses and the frames are blue.

143. Not allowed to fill Filch's office with pudding.

Pudding is for eating.

144. Not allowed to tell people that Snape is an alien plotting to take over the world.

145. Not allowed to tell people that the Minister has the IQ of a blast-ended skrewt (even if it is true.)

That's mainly because it is insulting to blast-ended skrewts.

146. I will not provide students with a false alibi.

If going to destroy Minerva's classroom get a friend to provide you with an alibi.

147. The Ministry has not been taken over by the Goa'uld.

147a. Voldemort is not Apophis and Death Eaters are not Jaffa.

148. The Sorting Hat is to not to be used to freak out the Dursleys.

No matter how much wants the Sorting Hat wants to.

149. No student to write to Narcissa Malfoy suggesting she should divorce Lucius Malfoy because she can do better.

She can do better, but that doesn't mean you should point it out.

150. Not allowed to charm objects to insult Professor Snape.

Even if the object is a cuddly Teddy bear.

151. You are all forbidden from roller skating naked through Hogwarts.

Hogwarts is not a nudist colony and students are to wear clothes.

152. Imaginary friends cannot take responsibility for your actions.

152a. Sock puppets cannot take responsibility for your actions.

152b. Voldemort can take responsibility for your actions, but only on the third Thursday of every month.

153. Running out of bacon doesn't mean we're going to have to resort to cannibalism.

I've said before and I'll say it again, I worry about the sanity of my students.

154. Not allowed to wake the whole castle up at three in the morning claiming the house elves want to eat your brains.

I am the only person who is allowed to wake everyone up at three in the morning.

155. Not allowed to leave the school grounds to go party with goblins.

Unless I am invited of course.

156. You cannot ride a skateboard down the stairs.

Three students have ended up with broken arms because they thought it'd be cool to skateboard down the stairs.

157. Not allowed to fill the Gryffindor common or any other common room with whipped cream and feathers.

158. Not allowed to help Peeves cause mayhem.

158a. Peeves is not allowed to help you cause mayhem.

Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.