AN: So I am happy to say that this chapter is long... And for me it's very long, but I've been trying to work out how to make the events work for me. Mainly cos the fact a suicide attempt can make or break a relationship.
I hope you all like what I am doing with this story, also that since I have not seen episode nine yet, the next update won't be posted until Friday, so I hope you all enjoy, and if you're alerting this, please feel free to review, cos I have no idea who is reading and liking this.


Chapter nine
Helpless lives grow


Opie sat on the bed with just his thoughts, he kept thinking of how everything had changed for him in a matter of a few years, he lost the woman he loved, and he still feels like a stranger to his own children. Losing Lyla was the last straw to everything, he knew deep down that his marriage to Lyla was nothing like being married to Donna. Donna was his old lady; she took care of things, made him strong. When he married Lyla, he knew that it didn't feel right, but he just prayed for some kind of miracle to make things better.

Turning the music he was playing down he heard a knock on his door, "Who is it?" He called not moving off the bed, but sees Kelly poking her head in. "I thought you weren't talking to me."

Kelly felt her eyes going over Opie, "The promise you made to me still stand? That I can come to you if I need someone?"

"It still stands," Opie sat up on the bed watching her enter the room; she closed the door looking nervous. "Kelly what's the matter?" He got to his feet heading over to her, his hands brushing against her cheeks.

For a minute Kelly stood still, her hands by her side trying to push the image of Juice hanging in the tree before crashing to the ground, her body started to tremble with all her fear. "I can't talk about it." Her voice was weak, she was tired, and she was scared of everything she felt.

"Did Juice hurt you?" Opie felt his voice growl, he didn't think Juice was capable of doing anything that stupid, but he watched as Kelly shock her head violently. "Kelly…" He started but watched as she crumbled, he caught her in his arms feeling her breaking down.

Kelly couldn't hold it anymore, she felt Opie cradling her in his arms, she wrapped her hands into his cut, she held onto him feeling her tears falling down onto his shirt, but he never let he go. "I can't," Her voice breaking through her tears, "Opie, I just need you," She cried.

He didn't know what to do, lifting her up he placed her on the bed, he got on too feeling her head resting against his chest, he listened to her crying, and it was the one thing Opie couldn't stand. The painful sounds in her sobs, the way her hands held tight onto him, he could tell her wrist wasn't in good shape as it looked red and swollen. "Kelly, you want to stay with me tonight?" He pushed her hair from her face, her eyes staring up at him, he knew she needed someone right now, and he lightly tried to smile for her.

She didn't need to think as her head nodded, her throat hurt, her face stung from tears as she moved on the bed. Rubbing her eyes Kelly looked over Opie, "Why do people want to be in love, when all it does is hurt you." Her eyes looked down to her hands.

"I don't know what to say," Opie ran his hand across her face placing some of her hair behind her ear; he looked into her eyes, the same eyes he remember when she was a little girl. "It's complicated."

"I wish it wasn't, I wish it was all simple." Her voice straining to keep control, Kelly sniffed while Opie found a tissue to give to her. "I'm not even sure what's going to happen anymore."

He could tell whatever was wrong, he wasn't going to get it out of her, and Opie just hoped Juice would get his shit together and look after her. "I wish it was simple too." He said while looking to the time, "I better get some sleep, big vote tomorrow."

"Change of leadership, it seems big." Kelly looked around the room, "Who's challenging Clay?"

Opie got off the bed, he walked over to a draw taking out an oversized T shirt and short, "Bobby," He passed her the clothes, "But that's all I can say." He glanced to the bathroom. "I'll let you change in here if you want."

Kelly nodded, "Thanks Ope," She watched him walking into the bathroom, when the door closed she got up pulling her shirt off.

Getting changed in this room felt weird, all the rooms practically looked the same, but she knew Juice's room was neater; it was like he made sure everything he did at the club reflected on him in a good way.

Getting into the bed Kelly pulled the sheets over herself, "I'm finished." She called as Opie exited the bathroom, he smiled. "Thanks for letting me stay here." She watched him take his cut off placing on the desk; he pulled his shirt off sitting on the bed.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to have a few words with Juice," He watched her face go pale, "I am just going to talk." He felt himself touching her face again. "I know you love him, but whatever is happening with you two, it's got to stop before you push each other away and lose what you have now."

"I don't want to lose him Ope," Kelly watched him kicking off his boots getting into the bed with her, "But I think he's just pulling away."

Opie exhaled, he pulled her into his arms hugging her tight. "I'm going to figure this out." He whispered into her hair, he kept staring at the wall before turning the lamp off, "Just get some sleep." He kissed the top of her head before lying down in the bed with her head resting against his chest.


He felt worn out, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get any sleep. The club house was quiet as he rolled over in the bed to remember that Kelly wasn't with him.

When he parked the truck that night, he walked over to Tig to see she was already gone. Tig couldn't even help with where she went, but inside Juice knew that she wasn't going to be talking to him for a while.

He couldn't feel any worse, more on the fact that now he had the time to think about it, he couldn't believe he went that far, he knew he couldn't risk doing it again as he got out of bed throwing on some clothes.

Walking out of the room he started to make his way to chapel, but felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him around. "Me and you need to talk," Opie's face looked mean, Juice didn't have a good feeling of this as he glanced back to the chapel, but could tell Opie was serious.

"Sure," He followed Opie outside.

Opie now pointed to a table, "Sit!" He snapped watching Juice carefully.

Juice sat down. "What do you need to talk about?" He looked nervously around himself.

"I think you know who we need to talk about," He reached into his pocket taking out a smoke, Opie wasn't sure what was going to happen, but he exhaled watching Juice carefully. "You've upset Kelly real bad." He pointed to Juice's face, "She won't tell me anything, but I've not seen her this upset since her old man killed himself."

Feeling like someone had shoved a knife into his throat Juice stared at Opie, "Shit," He muttered, "Kelly never told me he killed himself, she just said he died."

"No, she wouldn't tell anyone that," Opie exhaled some smoke studying Juice, "She was only nine at the time when she found him hanging in the garage." He flicked the smoke away, "Kelly doesn't like to talk about it, and we don't talk about it either." Opie see Jax pulling up on his bike, "I know you're a good guy Juice, but whatever is going on, you need to fix it fast before she believes you don't care."

Juice nodded, "I do care," He watched Opie walking towards Jax, "Hey Ope!" He called watching the other man turn around. "Do you think I can fix it?"

He shrugged, "All I know is I've been looking out for Kelly since she was a little girl, she'd not little anymore, and she'd no girl either." He sighed, "But she still needs to feel cared for." Opie turned walking away.


Her head was throbbing when she opened her eyes; she heard the car before she heard the sound of guns. "Oh shit!" she shouted seeing a round of bullets smashing through the window. Kelly pushed herself on the floor crawling under the bed, she listened to the sound of automatic guns firing against the wall, and she kept still listening to the speeding car. Her hands were covering her ears waiting for the sound to stop.

Hearing silence Kelly rolled out from under the bed, she stood up looking to the mess, she exhaled running a hand through her hair seeing holes in the wall where she was just sleeping. "Fuck…" Her eyes going to the door, she picked up a shirt Opie left on a chair putting it on walking outside slowly.

While everyone was talking about the bag of heads Juice watched as Kelly walked out of the club house, she looked shaken up as Opie turned to see her too. Juice couldn't help but notice she wasn't wear much, no shoes as she had an old T-shirt of Opie's on with one of his shirt wrapped around her, and he studied over Opie's face as he walked over to her quickly.

"You alright?" Opie ran a hand down her arm, he looked back to the wall where he knew the guns had fired, and then remembered that was where she was sleeping that night.

Kelly's eyes went over to Juice; she could tell he was staring at her as she wrapped the shirt around herself more. "I'm good," She touched Opie's hand, "What's going on out here?"

Opie turned to see the look on Juice's face, but also went to Gemma watching them like a hawk. "Rival Cartel," He exhaled, he took in her appearance, and he knew why Gemma had a sour look on her face. "Why don't you go inside and clean yourself up." He touched her arm again.

Kelly nodded, "Okay," She took one more look at Juice; she felt her stomach tightening up. She couldn't stop her eyes focusing on his neck from across the lot as she turned and headed back inside.

Watching Kelly go back inside Juice's attention went to Gemma as she met Opie half way from the group, "What was that all about?" Gemma asked nudging her head towards the club house.

"She had a bad night, so I let her stay with me," Opie shook his head at the expression on her face, "It's not like that Gemma." He now could see Juice looking upset. "She needed someone to talk to."

"Okay, if you just talked," Gemma noticed Clay and Jax heading to the office, "Just after what happened with Ima, I didn't think you'd make a habit of making bad choices with would you have sex with." She started to walk back to the club house.

Opie walked over to Juice loading things into the van with Chibs, he placed a hand to Juice's shoulder. "Look, if you think something went down with me and Kelly last night," He could see the fear in Juice's eyes, "Nothing happened, she was upset and I let her stay with me."

"Yeah," Juice nodded, "I trust you Bro." He now could see that look in Chibs eyes, "I'll talk to her when this is over with." He looked to the wall seeing the bullet holes, then thought about how Kelly must have been feeling when it all happened.

Chibs closed the van doors, "Did she mention why she's upset?" He asked folding his arms across his chest.

"No, but whatever it was…" Opie could tell that Juice didn't like hearing it, so Opie patted Juice's shoulder. "Just give a while to be on her own, and then make it right." He turned to Chibs who was still looking serious.

Juice knew they had to leave, but took one last look at the club house, "I will." He went to the driver side of the van.

Chibs looked to Opie, "Kelly's crazy about him."

"She's scared she's losing him," Opie felt his attention going to the van, "So we need to figure out what's up his ass soon, so he doesn't fuck it up." He tapped Chibs's shoulder walking away to start fixing their own mess.


Roosevelt walked through the empty club house; well it was as good as empty. He could see they still hadn't gotten around to fully cleaning up his damage, but he walked through the dorms. He opened a door looking inside, it was neat, and everything had a place. He walked into the room looking over the computer set up, on the desk he picked up a picture frame; the only picture in the whole room was Juice and Kelly. He studied over Juice's face; he looked happy holding Kelly close on his lap. Kelly's hand was still in a cast, he felt weird looking at the photo like he was invading a private moment between the couple.

Placing the picture down he left the room opening the door to the next room, he was greeted with a scream as Kelly quickly wrapped a towel around herself again.

"I'm sorry!" Roosevelt jumped back seeing Kelly glaring at him, "You've got to leave, this building it part of an investigation and is being locked down." He pointed out trying to avoid staring.

Kelly pulled the towel up, she kept trying to calm herself, but this man made her feel rage, a kind of rage that would only lead her into bad shit. "Well officer, if you want me to leave this building, will clothing be optional, cos I am not leaving in just this towel." Her voice bitter, her eyes kept glaring at the man thinking of the things Juice told her.

"You may get dressed," He pointed to the door, "I'll wait."

Kelly laughed, "You must be so smug behind that badge," Her words filled with hate, Roosevelt turning around to look at her.

"I beg your pardon?" Roosevelt could see the anger in her eyes, the way she stood tall, but most of all how much he could see Gemma Teller morrow in her.

Kelly exhaled, "You act big, and you walk around this club like you're doing whatever you're doing for the good of this town." Her hands holding the towel up, her voice dropping, "But we both know you're nothing but a dirty cop."

"A dirty cop," He laughed, "And why would you suddenly be calling me that?" He waved his hands, "I tried to do everything in my power to find your attacker." He shrugged, "And now I am doing all I can to find the person who threatened to kill Doctor Knowles."

"I'm not talking about that, I am talking about Juan." Her eyes narrowed, "That you took a secret of his, and you used it to make him do something that he…" She bit her lip feeling the pain of it all again, seeing him, and knowing he reached the last resort. "You don't care about anything." Kelly finally said, "As long as you end up smelling of roses, shutting down the Sons of Anarchy."

"So he told you…" Roosevelt took a step forward, "You know his old man's black."

Kelly nodded, "And I don't care, the club wouldn't have cared, but you had to push him, you pushed the fear into his heart and you broke him into a million pieces." Kelly laughed. "Juan is a good man, he is an amazing man." Her hand holding the towel while the other pointed, "But you hurt him, you made him into something he was never made to be, and if I believe in a heaven and hell, I hope you rot in hell for the things you made him do."

Roosevelt inhaled, "I'll leave you to change. You've got fifteen minutes." He walked out the room slamming the door.

He closed his eyes for a second, but opened them to see Gemma, "I told you this building is on lock down." He snapped.

"And my niece is inside there waiting for clean clothes," Gemma held the bag up, "Do you mind?" Her voice was edgy, but he stepped out the way looking to the door.

"Sure, you've both got fifteen minutes to be out." He walked away from the bedrooms heading into the main area of the club house.

"Kelly you decent?" Gemma asked on the other side of the door.

Sitting on the bed with her hands covering her face Kelly looked up, "I'm cool," She watched as the door opened with Gemma stepping in. "I'm not gonna ask."

"I brought you some clean clothes; you left them at my place." She placed the bag on the bed sitting down with Kelly. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," picking up the bag of clothes Kelly looked inside, "Why have you brought me this?" Kelly took out the smart dress, and then also sandals. "I can't ride in this?"

"You're not; you're helping me with the fund raiser." Gemma brushed her hand under Kelly's chin. "Nothing will brighten your mood while looking pretty in a garden."

"What's the catch?" Kelly asked looking serious.

Gemma broke into a smile, "Well, I know it's been a while, but I know you've got an amazing voice and…"

"No!" Kelly pointed, "I am not singing at this thing." Getting to her feet Kelly headed to the bathroom for her jeans and shirt.

Getting to her feet Gemma rushed over to stop Kelly, her hands brushing into her damp hair, "Look, I know how you're feeling right now." She brushed Kelly's hair to one side resting her chin on her shoulder. "It's hard when you fall for someone, and you fall so hard that you don't know how you can be yourself anymore, how you can't separate your shit from theirs."

Closing her eyes Kelly felt Gemma hugging her back, "Gemma, it's more than that…"

"No it's never more, but you have to understand with men, finding that one woman is scary, figuring out that is harder, and they try and fight it, but soon it will make you two stronger." Gemma turned Kelly to face her now, "As long as I've known Juan, he's had no attachments, he's been from sweetbutt to sweetbutt, but you've changed him." Her voice calming, "So you can sing at this fund raiser, show Charming how much SAMCRO helps this town." Her eyes focused on her niece, "And when it's over, when Juan comes back to you, you're going to take care of him, and he'll take care of you."

"Fine I'll sing." Kelly exhaled, "But I'm not wearing that dress," She pointed out. "I can drive to my place and I'll pick something to wear."

Gemma smiled, she put the dress back into the bag, "By your place, you mean?"

"Mine and Juan's place," Kelly could only manage a small smile, but looked over Gemma, "I can go by myself, I guess you've got shit to deal with before this thing starts."

"Well darling, I'll see you in an hour back here," Gemma kissed Kelly lightly, "Be good." She walked out the bedroom leaving Kelly alone.

Kelly sat back on the bed, she ran her hands into her hair feeling worn out, and the day hadn't even begun yet, but she was already tired of it.


Kelly pulled up to the club house, the squad cars were still around seeing Tara sitting at a table outside. Getting off her bike she walked over to Tara taking her helmet off, she shook her hair out seeing Tara looked upset. "Were you meant to be at work?" She asked sitting with her.

"Yes," Tara exhaled looking over the club, "But work sees me as a security threat." Her eyes narrowed at the reaper on the club house wall.

"Shit," Kelly placed her helmet on the table, "So you have any idea who is threatening to kill you?" Kelly had a feeling it wasn't the rival Cartel, being they just dumped a bag of heads on their doorstep after shooting up the club house.

Tara shook her head, "I have no idea," Her hands moved on the table studying over Kelly. "I heard you've been having a bad few days." Taking Kelly's hand she squeezed it in her own.

"I really don't want to talk about it," Kelly watched Tara, "Plus Gemma's roped me into singing for this thing." She got to her feet looking over the outfit, "Hence this…"

Tara laughed looking to the dress, it was purple with a white belt around her waist, and she wore a pair of tight black jeans tucked into her biker boots. "You look really odd…" Her eyes went to the boots.

Kelly reached into her bag taking out a pair of small heels, "I needed to wear the boots to ride," She looked to the heels, "I don't think it's safe riding in these."

"No," Tara smiled, "But I didn't think Gemma could talk you into singing." She looked over to see Gemma pulling into the lot, "But I guess it's just best to smile and agree."

Walking over to the two girls at the table she felt confused staring at Tara. "Hey I thought you had surgery?" Gemma stood in front of the table studying Tara more.

Tara's smile dropped, "Apparently I am now a security threat," She watched Gemma with a serious expression.

"Ahh shit," Gemma placed her bag down on the table; she glanced over Kelly giving her a funny look.

Tara's attention was still on Gemma, "Am I crazy Gemma?" She started, "Why do I believe him when he says it'll get better." Her face fell thinking of how much this was getting out of hand.

"Because he means it," Gemma replied looking to over her, Tara was really losing her way. "No one saw it coming baby, I hate this shit too." She turned to see Kelly trying to keep her distance.

"I'm trying to do it his way Gemma, I really am." Tara replied. She felt sick to her stomach trying to work out how this was ever going to get better.

"I know you are, Jax is too." Gemma kept her tone calm, but she kept feeling bad about everything that was happening. "We'll pull through, we stick it out." She nodded to herself, "Because that was family does." Her voice was sure of itself.

Kelly rocked on her feet trying to smile, "And I'm pretty sure you've got through a lot, you can get through this." Her hands went to her hips.

Gemma did a double take, "What are you wearing?" Her eyes focused on her biker boots, and then back to the dress.

"You expect me to ride in these?" She held the heels up to Gemma's vision.

Gemma rolled her eyes, "Well why don't we go inside and cheek on my chilli," She took Tara's hand trying to bring some happiness to this horrible day.

Tara exhaled going along, she watched Kelly behind her as they walked into the club house seeing two officers eating bowls of chilli, Gemma giving them funny looks walking into the kitchen with Tara and Kelly behind her.

"Hey Gemma," Chucky rushed after the girls going into the kitchen, he felt worried knowing what she was going to see once she opened the pot. "It's not ready yet…"

Kelly stood behind seeing the look on Gemma's face; she caught a quick glimpse of the head floating in the chilli. "Did you follow the recipe?"

"I had to add some things of my own," Chucky kept a straight face; he knew that they couldn't let the cops get an idea on what was tainting the chilli they were now eating.

Gemma nodded, "I can see that…" Her eyes went back to the cops eating, then to Kelly behind her.

Tara took a step forward to the pot, "Is it spicy?" She went to lift the lid, but Gemma stopped her. She looked confused for a second seeing Kelly staring at the pot as if it was gross.

"Very, actually made my eyes burn." Gemma said looking serious at Tara.

Tara took a step back, "Oh…"

"May have gotten a little over my head," Chucky watched as Kelly did a double take to him. The fact was the four of them standing in the kitchen, he could only think of the cops he gave the chilli to.

Gemma nodded, "It's an old family recipe, very delicate I should have made it myself." Gemma took Tara starting to walk them from the kitchen, "Maybe you should take it down the reservation. I hear Happy likes it that hot." Her eyes snapped to Kelly still staring at the pot. "Come on Kelly you have sound check to get to." She pulled her arm dragging her away from the chilli pot.

Getting outside Kelly felt her gag reflex kick in, "Oh my god!" Her hands waving over her face, "I," She pointed to Gemma, "Sound check?"

"Singing," Gemma pointed to the car, and then to Tara, "Come on ladies of SAMCRO have business to take care of."


Chibs watched everyone scattering out, he could see Juice standing on his own in thought. He wasn't used to seeing this side of Juice and it was worrying him. Walking over her glanced over the bruise still standing out violently on his throat, "You not heading to the fund raiser?" He asked thinking about the event that Gemma probably roped Kelly into helping with.

"Nah," Juice turned to face Chibs, he had a feeling that Chibs didn't believe his story about the security chains, but wasn't going to say anything else about it. "I think right now I just need some space from Kelly."

"Space from her," Chibs laughed, "I'll tell you one thing that I admire about Kelly, when she's mad, she is well to let people know it." He the sighed, "It's the same when something upsets her too."

"I'm not sure how to do all this," Placing his hands into his pockets, Juice could tell Chibs was paying attention. "I've never really had a serious relationship, and neither has she." He closed his eyes for a second opening them to see Chibs looking serious at him. "I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"No one is ready," Chibs touched his shoulder, "When I got here, Kelly was this little thing, she used to give me funny looks cos she didn't understand a word I said to her, so I used to give her lollies to make her happy." He exhaled stretching out, "I want you to know that you've got two options from here." He reached into his pocket taking out a smoke offering one to Juice watching him take it. "You can end this now, break her heart and go on living your life, or you can stick it out, whatever problems you two are having you make it work."

"I don't want to end it," Juice lit the smoke, his eyes going over Chibs, "I've spent too long trying to work out what we are, is she just my girlfriend? My old lady?" He shrugged.

Chibs patted Juice on the back, "Right now, you're not being a good man to her, and you were good when she was attacked, but now something is going wrong with you, and I think you need to stop pushing her away, and you need to tell her to stop pulling away too." He took a long pull of his smoke, "You two are both young, but it's always a struggle when you first get serious, but soon you'll look back on this phase, you'll look back and be glade it made you stronger." He flicked the butt of the smoke away watching Juice. "I know, because I've been there."

"You said you knew Kelly when she was little," Juice spoke up, "Opie said to me her old man killed himself."

Chibs nodded, "Yeah, she was only nine, it hit her hard." He thought for a second about it looking over Juice, he couldn't understand why he was bringing it up, but his eyes went to the bruise again. "She doesn't like to talk about it, not a nice thought to know that she had to find him either."

"No," Juice flicked his own butt away looking over Chibs, "Maybe I should go to the Fund raiser for a bit," He looked to the door of the barn, "I'll be back when all this goes down."

"You do that son," Chibs patted his shoulder, "Rumour has it she's gonna be singing, she's got a lovely voice." Chibs smiled watching Juice walk away, he shook his head, but in the back of his mind he didn't want to think the worst.


Gemma smiled looking up to the stage seeing Kelly singing, she paused looking over to see Juice standing away from the table, he had his hands in his pockets watching Kelly with a sad expression on his face.

Getting to her feet Gemma walked over to stand next to Juice, "She sounds good," Her eyes kept focused on her niece, she could tell that people were enjoying her songs. "I'll assume you've come here to talk to her, not just watch." Her eyes were looking over to Juice staring forward.

"I don't know if I can talk to her," Juice felt Kelly's eyes connecting on his, she then closed her eyes carrying on singing, "Gemma."

"Yeah baby?" Gemma turned to face Juice; she could tell he had a lot going on in his mind. "I am not mad at you, a man changes after he does the things you did," She patted his arm, "She still loves you, I know because seeing you two together." She broke into a smile, "It's like looking into my history book."

"What do you mean?" Juice stopped watching Kelly looking over Gemma's face.

He rocked on his feet, Gemma placed a hand on his shoulder, "I know my niece, and she's practically a daughter to me, so when I'm telling you that she loves you. She really does." She let a smile slip watching Clay walk over to them.

"What you doing here Juice?" Clay asked, but his eyes going over to the stage, he smiled to Kelly singing, it was a good thing to have her showing the beautiful side of SAMCRO, he wrapped an arm around Gemma, "Come to admire the show?"

Juice watched Clay, "I thought I'd show my support." He found himself finding it soothing to listen to Kelly sing, he'd not heard her sing in so long, but he used to listen to her sing while in the shower. As she started to sing a song by one of her favourite bands Paramore, he smiled as she was looking at him.

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched, as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promise, I'll never sing of love it does not exist. But darling you are the only exception, you are the only exception, you are the only exception, you are the only exception…"

Gemma watched Kelly singing, "I think we need to go talk to the organiser." She went to pull on Clay's arm hinting them to leave him alone.

"I better get back, I don't want the guys to have all the fun," Juice walked away, getting back on his bike, driving off.

Gemma looked to Clay, "Why do I even bother…"

"Because you want to see Kelly happy," Clay kissed her walking them over to talk to Roosevelt's wife. "Mrs Roosevelt, Excuse me."

"What?" Roosevelt took a step in front of his wife; he looked over to Gemma standing next to her husband.

Clay kept his charm on, "I was hoping I could say a few words to the folks and make a formal donation, Family friendly. I promise" He held up his hands giving her a smile.

Mrs Roosevelt smiled, "Sure," Her eyes going to the stage as Kelly was finishing her song looking to the band. "Your niece was very kind to sing at such short notice," She smiled to Gemma.

"Yup that's my baby; she's always willing to help." Gemma smiled linking arms with Clay watching the band get off the stage, and Kelly walked over to the table sitting next to Tig placing her head on his shoulder.

Tig brushed a hand against her cheek looking as they set up the stage for Clay, "He's a dumbass." He said looking to everyone starting to gather around.

"Why you say that?" Kelly whispered getting to her feet with Tig; she looked up into his eyes seeing that he held that worried expression everyone seemed to wear around her these days.

Tig touched Kelly's face, "You are an amazing woman, any man would be lucky to call you his old lady, but he's just pissing it away." He let her go, "I don't like seeing you upset darling."

Kelly tried to smile, "I know, why I love you Tig," She kissed his cheek looking around, Clay was now getting ready to speak, "I'm gonna head off, I think all that singing has given me a head ache."

"Wait and I'll give you a ride when I take Gemma back." He held her shoulder, but knew that she had her mind set on leaving.

Kelly picked her bag up that had her boots and helmet in, "Sorry, I got to go." She pointed at the stage, "Seems like it's going to be a hell of a speech." Kelly now headed to where she parked her bike, changing shoes and getting on, she already knew where she was heading, but she needed to make a quick detour first.


Juice walked back to the tree branch, he glanced at the chain that was once around his neck. For a second he studied over the scene, but rushed to the chain pulling it from the branch, he kept looking around himself praying that he could get this over with.

It wasn't until he heard a noise behind him that he notice Chibs standing in the background, "Ah shit," Juice dropped the chain before he turned around; "You scared me man." He looked to Chibs face nervous.

Chibs didn't look happy, he reached down picking up the chain, he felt sick holding it but his eyes going to the bruise on Juice's neck knowing it all added up. He felt like he didn't know who he was looking at as he made a charge at Juice, grabbing his by the collar of his cut shaking him to the ground, "Jesus Christ!" He yelled throwing him to the ground to pick him up and throw him again, "You coward!" He snapped sitting by the tree brushing his hands into his hair.

Curling in on himself Juice started to cry, he felt sick and ashamed of himself, and he couldn't believe the actions he did, but couldn't look at Chibs starting to crawl towards him. "Come son, get up…" Chibs getting to his feet, he held Juice in his arms listening to him crying.

Chibs kept holding onto Juice to the snapped of tree branches to see Kelly standing in the opening, her hands were folded around herself looking to Juice with her eyes welling up. "Ah shit," Chibs felt like crying himself, he could see the pain in her face, feeling the sobs of Juice. "You saw him do it."

Kelly couldn't think of anything to say, she stood back feeling her attention going to the chain still tied to the fallen branch. "I freaked, and I did the same thing as I did back then Chibs. I ran away, it was like being nine all over again."

Juice felt his sobs stop, his eyes going to Kelly slowly stepping towards him, he felt her hand lightly moving around him, he didn't know what to expect feeling her hugging onto his back holding him. "I'm sorry Kelly, I didn't know, I'm so sorry." He cried feeling Chibs turn him to face her.

"You two need to talk, I'll be waiting there," He pointed the way he came; he walked away slowly taking one last look at the couple holding each other.

Juice calmed his tears down, he felt her resting her head against his chest, her arms holding onto him for dear life, "You said you was going to fix it Juan, if I'd known this was your way of fixing things, I would have stopped you," Her eyes looking over his face in the moon light. "Why?" Her voice was weak trying to make sense.

Juice bit his lip, he touched a hand to her cheek, "Kelly, I'm in deep, it's so bad that I thought if I died, if it was over for me, then I'd never have to hurt the club more than I already have." He brushed a hand into her hair, "I never wanted you to witness that."

"No, I've seen one person I care about end their life that way; I never thought you'd do the same thing." She let out a painful laugh, "Funny they say girls fall for guys who remind them of their fathers."

Juice kept brushing his hand into her hair, "I never knew, I just…" He stopped talking seeing her eyes staring at his bruise, "I don't want to die." He whispered softly.

"I don't want you to die, but thinking for them few seconds that you were dead, thinking of the possibility of you being dead." Shaking the thought from her mind Kelly tried to keep calm, but felt the tears falling down her cheeks. "Juan, you can't ever do that again."

"I won't," He held her face, he could still feel his own tears falling down his cheeks, he didn't know what to do keeping her face in his hands. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Kelly pursed her lips looking to the chain, "I want you to know we're going to make it, I don't know how right now, but we're going to get through this together." Her hand moving up to her face taking one of his, she held it tightly in her own hand. "I want a story Juan."

"A story?" Juice asked confused, he moved the hand from her face touching it to her waist.

Kelly nodded, her hand squeezing his again, "Yeah, a story, the kind you tell to your kids when they ask how mommy and daddy meet." She tried to smile through the pain she was feeling. "I want to be able to tell that story. Because my mom never had one, she just told me she met my dad in Miami when she was nineteen…"

"Miami," Juice laughed for a second, it was awkward to think of the times Kelly never really talked of her parents, and it was like she pushed them out of her memory, only to speak of the club as her family.

Kelly nodded, "Yup, all I got." Her thumb brushing over Juice's hand, "But as corny as it sounds, when I have kids, I want them to ask me about their daddy, I want to say that I feel in love with an amazing man, my hero, and he was everything I ever wanted, and most of all he still is." Her hand still in the splint touching the side of his head, "I don't ever want to see you strung up, I don't." Shaking her head, "My father took the cowards way out, he planned it, he made sure my mom and I wasn't in the house, and he strung himself up in the garage." Kelly bit her lip feeling sick thinking of the memory. "And I told Opie I had a cool bike to show him, and I ran home, and I saw him."

"Kelly…" Juice tried to stop her, but she shook her head.

"I saw a man that day, a stranger with my father's face, but he gave up, he had debt and he couldn't handle it, so he took his life, but suicide isn't good when it comes to life insurance, so my mom was left with nothing but his debt and the club stepped up and paid that debt off." Kelly rolled her eyes, "That's when my mom gave up, she stopped caring for me, Gemma was more of my mother than she was, but my mom took us away from Charming to take me away from the club."

Juice brushed her hair back, "I want you to know, what I did was a mistake, and I promise I'll never do that again." He had calmed down, "But you said about a story, I'd like that." He smiled faintly, "But you said about kids, you want that?"

"Someday, not now but someday," Her eyes looking into his, she lightly kissed him, her hand still holding his, "I don't care if you're part black, because you're not your skin colour."

Juice felt his arm around her back pulling her closer to him, he kissed the top of her head, "What do we do now?"

"Well, we clean this mess up, we keep this between me you and Chibs, and no one else needs to know." Her voice calming looking to his eyes, "I kinda had a go at Roosevelt this morning."

"Shit!" Juice stood back, "You didn't tell him I did this?"

"No, I didn't, I just called him a dirty cop, and he should rot in hell," Her eyes studying over his, "But for now, maybe you should take me home," Her voice comforting, touching a small kiss to the bruise, "I need to take care of you," She let his hand drop before untangling the chains, she held it up so he could get a good look at them. "You are stronger than this," Her voice confident. "Now," she starting to walk out of the clearing turning back to Juice, "I think it's time to take your old lady home." She gave him a smile.

"My old lady?" Juice caught up with her, his hand taking hers.

Kelly nodded, "Your old lady," She repeated as they made their way to the van, they see Chibs having a smoke; "I'm taking him home." She threw the chains at his feet, "I don't think I need to say more."

Chibs nodded, "This stays between us three," He flicked the smoke away picking the chain up, "We don't say anything to anyone about it." He added with a serious tone.

Juice nodded, "I think I should take Kelly home, it's late." He kept watching Chibs; he could tell in his eyes he was still disappointed in him.

"Yes," Chibs turned to Kelly, "Take care of him lass,"

Kelly smiled, "I always do Chibs, and I'll call you in the morning." Her hand holding onto Juice's strong, she could tell his bike wasn't here, but hers was. "We'll see you later."

Chibs now watched as Juice got on Kelly's bike, he let her get on the back starting the bike up, all on the ride home he couldn't help but think of the future, even if shit was bad now, he had to think of a better tomorrow.