Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them.
Hey guys just thought I would make a quick apology. I'm really sorry about the appallingly late update on this story, it has been ages. My excuses are as follows: well first my darling little netbook got very ill and had to be sent away and I didn't get it back until recently, plus I had quite a few exams to get ready for and then the rest of the time was laziness and writer's block. Hope that's justifiable for you all! Anyway please enjoy I don't know if it went as well as I wanted it too, so if you have any problems with it or any ideas I could try out, you know what to do my lovelies! X
Bella POV
I opened my eyes slowly, fighting against my heavy, sleep-weighted eyelids. I stared silently at the plain white ceiling above me, before I sat up, yawned and stretched my arms. I gazed round the unfamiliar room in puzzlement.
Where was I? Had Esme decided to redecorate my room while I'd been asleep? Wow, how long had I been out of it this time?
I studied the small room in bewilderment.
It was quite plain, the walls a starched white colour that matched the thin sheets that lay on top of me. There were a few discarded blue plastic chairs placed randomly next to one side of the bed. I glanced down and saw a needle protruding from my arm attaching me to a solitary drip towering over the bed. Shuddering I yanked it from my arm in a swift motion. I quickly averted my gaze, not wishing to push my fragile stomach completely over the cliff. I searched the room for any details that might give me some sort of sign or any kind of clue as to what was going on.
I frowned in bewilderment. Where on earth was I and where were the Cull-
The name stuck in the back of my throat, I choked out a gasp. Then it hit me.
It all came back. Everything that had happened in the last 24 hours blasted in a flashing spinning slideshow as horror after horror was relived, the deafening thunder of the memories swirling unstoppable round and round my head. They poured through the paper thin walls of sleep that had been struggling to protect me for those few bewildering seconds. I gripped my aching skull with the slender tanned hands that didn't belong to me as I groaned loudly, rocking back and forth.
I swung my legs out of the white sheets, standing up hurriedly, frantic with fear. I ran towards the wooden door at the end of my bed, bursting out into a narrow corridor. I slammed full force into the opposite wall, stumbling backwards dazed slightly, before sinking to my knees.
The memories hit me, all my precious treasured memories of Edward, my Edward.
His face, the warm soft golden eyes penetrating deep into my soul searching and discovering everything about me yet hiding so much about himself behind the ochre spheres, his mouth that was so angelically sculpted, hard as stone but soft as passion, his voice, the on-going songs and melodic words that flowed from those lips.
His utter perfection that out shined me in all ways possible, the way he held me with such care and love, as I tossed and turned tormented by my nightmares, all the blissful passionate kisses, however fleetingly short they were, the highlights of my pathetic human days.
So many memories fleeted and flashed through my mind, the excitement in his eyes when he introduced me to the rest of his wonderfully, perfect family. The time he first played the piano to me, when he hummed me to sleep with his lullaby, when he would catch me anxiously, every time I faltered and tripped, when he would grab my hand and point out various birds and trees as we walked through the forest to our meadow, to our private place. When he took me to watch his family's peculiar, yet fascinating game of baseball, when he saved me, from the scorching pain of James' venom, that terrifying night in Phoenix.
His breath-taking gracefulness as he strode next to me, over shadowing my pale insignificant figure. But most importantly his ever constant never changing beauty.
My heart ached as I relived every second I could remember, the memories speeding up, mashing together. My eyebrows creased in agony as I saw his face mirrored in my mind a thousand times over and over and over and over and over-
"THAT'S NOT BELLA!"
He wasn't mine and I wasn't his, I had ruined everything. My sheer stupidity had wrecked the most amazing thing that had happened to me.
He didn't love me. Not anymore.
My whole body seemed to shudder manically as I realised the finality if that statement.
He didn't want me. He would never want me.
More images filled my mind; it felt like a knife was sharply carving away at my numb insides, reminding me of every fragment of him with the cold harsh pain. These images were louder, more defined. They pierced my brain with hatred, fear and repulsion. I had caused this and now I would have to live with the consequences. I was a freak.
I desperately struggled to switch back to the earlier images. I wanted to hear him say that he loved me, again and again and again. But my mind wouldn't let me and it ploughed on relentlessly.
I saw his face when he told me he didn't love me, that he could never love me, when he screamed into my face that I wasn't Bella. How he had thrown my face away from him in disgust at my sheer ugliness. The way his eyes looked and into mine, searching for me, even though I was already there. When he turned away from me facing the wall unable to look at me, unable to face the girl he loved.
It was over, completely and utterly over.
I felt my heart shatter in despair as suddenly as that stupid mirror; I felt my body turn numb as the shards of my broken heart sliced maliciously through my soul.
"Oh my fucking God!" A man's voice cursed from somewhere along the narrow corridor I had collapsed in.
"Bella!" I heard another unfamiliar voice shout out, how odd he knew my name yet I had no idea whose body that voice belonged to. His voice sounded muffled and distant, as my inside continued to turn cold with anxiety, shutting me off from the world around me. I curled myself into an even tighter ball, resisting the growing urge to see who had spoken.
"Oh god, man we left her for 2 freakin' minutes! Quick Embry! Go get Jacob…and Paul!" The first man's voice shouted out again, I wondered who he was. I wondered if he'd ever been in love. I sighed softly. I heard the man speak again, he was much closer now. "Bella? Sweetheart? Are you okay?"
I thought about it for a minute, am I okay? I'm not hurt well at least not physically…mentally however…I think I could be beyond repair somehow. I felt the stabbing in my gut increase and I let out a plaintive whimper of fear.
I heard the sound of heavy footsteps approaching, and suddenly I was being lifted into someone's arms. I let out a shriek of fear as I scrambled against the iron grip, my eyes flying open. I was greeted by the sight of a young man's face very close to mine, too close for my liking. His dark black eyebrows were knitted together with concern. It took me a while to realise that concern, that pity was for me.
I studied his face as he carried me back into the small room and laid me carefully onto the bed. He was fairly young his cheeks still graced with a faint blush of youth, his skin was tanned, a pleasant dark shade, not like the ugly yellow tone of mine. His eyes were a calm blue with a few specs of brilliant green dotted around the black pupils. His dark hair was cropped short and he had a certain look about him that made me feel like he was in charge.
I watched him nervously as he sat back into one of the plastic chairs. I hugged my knees tight against my chest trying hard to stop the fervent shivers that wracked my body.
"Bella?" He whispered cautiously, taking in my quivering figure. I stared at him so many questions whirling round my head. Who was he? How did he know my name? Did he know where- …did he know where they were? Where was I? Was I being held hostage? Did he know that I turned into a giant wolf?
I decided the answer to the last question was a given 'no' because if he did know he would have ran far away from me, or be reacting like… like they had. If he did know the only other possible outcome would be that he would have locked me up in some kind of cage for people to gawp at.
Maybe I was in a mental institution…that would make a lot of sense to be honest.
"Where am I?" I croaked out. I had to know, so that first if need be I could make an escape and second I honestly had no idea and it was making me panic even more.
The man's eyes seem to light up for a second, he was pleased with my response. He hurriedly answered,
"You're at my house Bella, in La Push. I'm Sam, Sam Uley, by the way." He smiled reassuringly at me and I nodded back hoping he would provide me with more information. "We found you, out in the woods on Monday and brought you back here. Bella, I need to know something. Can you tell me…did the Cullen's hurt you at all?"
I stared at Sam while his words sunk in. I tried to answer him to tell him that infact it wasn't just them who had hurt me but also me who had hurt them the most. I tried to find my voice but the words were only just being sorted out by my manic excuse of a mind.
Hurt.
Me.
Cullen's.
I was hit with another wave of fresh piercing agony. I gasped startled by the brutal force of the reminder that I was all alone. I curled up into a ball the breath knocked out of me; struggling to take in a breath. My mouth opened and closed like a fish as I gulped down oxygen my lungs collapsing.
Frantically I threw my arms around myself wrapping them round my middle, desperately trying to hold myself together. I started shaking more now, the world around me began to blur as I grasped my sides tighter willing it to stop.
I launched myself off the bed vaguely aware of Sam shouting at me. I couldn't hear him over the colossal roar in my head, deafening and painful. I glanced up to see to figures run into the room, bursting through the door, stumbling over each other in panic. One of them was another unfamiliar face, but the other man, the other boy, he was, he was…
Jake.
He was my Jake.
My heart faltered for a second as I let out a heartbroken cry, I hadn't seen him in so long. My juddering and quivering increased and I began gasping for breath again as my lungs once more began to cave in as I realised that I was about to lose my best friend as well. As soon as he saw me he would hate me, he would run.
"BELLA!" I heard him scream at me.
I stared into his terrified eyes before bursting into an ugly, hideous beast.
Right so that is it for now I'm afraid, I will try to update sooner, not gonna say a date because garenteed I wont meet any sort of deadline I set myself. Please leave a review for me! I want to know what you think! So bye for now, until next time peeps! x
