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Chapter 9: Nothing Left to Lose
Vaela woke up in a bedroom that, at first, seemed unfamiliar to her. A comfortable bed, decorated walls, countless books, and even a nice fireplace were all present, easing her back into the world of the living.
"Ugh, where am I?" the Warden thought aloud.
"Denerim, of course," a regal voice answered.
Startled, Vaela shot out of the bed with lightning quickness to face the one who greeted her.
"Wait… Queen Anora?" Vaela wondered after laying her eyes on the human woman standing in front of her.
"It's been a long time, Warden. You never visit anymore."
"How did I get here? The last thing I remember is-"
"You were hurt. Badly," Anora interrupted. "If Alistair hadn't been touring the country…." The queen's voice trailed off, not wanting to imagine the consequences.
The Hero of Ferelden sat back down on the bed contemplating what she just heard. Hurt? Badly? Did Hawke get away? He must have or Anora would have said something. And what's this about Alistair? She hadn't spoken to him in months. The last thing she heard of him was Alistair and Sten came to blows in Par Vollen.
"Alistair found me? He's back in Ferelden, then?"
"Yes, he's worried about you. You two should speak soon."
"Yeah, that'd be nice. Where is he?"
"Somewhere in this castle, I'm sure. Check the balconies, he likes to look at the whole of Denerim from there."
"Thank you, Anora." Vaela got off the bed and reached out for her friend. "It was nice seeing you," she said as they hugged.
"Come back soon," Anora insisted.
Vaela made her way through the royal palace, everything appearing to be the same as the last time she walked through these halls. Why hadn't she visited Alistair, she wondered. She quickly remembered the answer, of course. The pain of losing all her loved ones was too much to bear. The Warden kept whoever was left at arms' length, pushing them away from her heart.
An orphan from the day she was born, Vaela was born with nothing. She came to think that was how she would die as well. When Tamlen died and she was cast out of her clan, she ran into more friends, a new clan of sorts. For one reason or another, they all left her side eventually. Vigil's Keep remained and Alistair was still in Denerim, but maintaining those bonds only to see them severed would have killed her, so the Warden avoided them whenever she could.
Walking through the Palace reminded her of Loghain and the Blight. "It's wonder we came out of that one piece," the Warden thought. She couldn't help but laugh at how bright-eyed and optimistic her eighteen year old self was after slaying the Archdemon. "I never thought things would change so drastically, so quickly."
When she finally reached the balcony, Vaela was greeted by a night sky decorated with shining stars and the sight of her best friend and fellow Grey Warden, King Alistair.
"Hey," she said quietly as she walked to his side.
"You're alright!" Alistair yelled with his trademark enthusiasm. "Don't make a habit of being left unconscious on the side of the road, ok?" he quipped.
Vaela scoffed. His charm didn't work the way it used to.
"What were you doing out there, anyway?" the King asked.
The elven Warden took a few moments to think about how she wanted to answer. "I was… in a fight," she eventually answered.
Alistair raised an eyebrow, obviously not satisfied with that answer. "I know that. But with who? And why? Who could've beaten you like that?"
Vaela shrugged. "The Champion of Kirkwall, Hawke."
"Hawke?! Why were you fighting him?!"
"It's personal," Vaela answered as she took a few steps away from Alistair, increasing the distance between them.
Silence filled the air. "Vaela, come on. What's up? Talk to me." Alistair pleaded.
"All you need to need to know is that this world is going to be without a Champion if I don't find what I'm looking for," Vaela said, alluding to her search for Merrill.
There was nothing else to say. No word could fill the void.
"I… I don't-" Alistair stammered.
"Don't say anything. I'm leaving," Vaela said as she began to walk away.
"Just wait a minute, okay?!" Alistair yelled, clearly frustrated by his friend's behavior. "He left you for dead on the road just a few days ago and you want a rematch?!"
"I took him lightly the first time. I didn't even use Starfang or Vigilance. Next time, there's no way I'll lose her," she responded confidently.
"This isn't about winning and losing! He's going to kill you if you fight him again! I don't know what you're going through, right now, but-"
"Stop right there," Vaela said. "You don't know what I'm going through so don't pretend to know what's best for me."
Alistair saw a fire in her eyes he had never seen before. They distinctly reminded him of a darkspawn's. "For as long as I've known you," Alistair began, "you've never been so bloodthirsty. But now you're ready to throw your life away in a battle with Hawke?! Why? What's changed?!"
"Everything. There's nothing left to lose, nothing left to hang onto but this anger."
…
"Goodbye, Alistair."
A/N: Pretty much all action from here on out.
